Paula Visits Washington – Part 2

By Paula Gaikowski

My next stop was a bit of a stretch goal for myself. I have wanted to get out there as a woman doing things other than shopping; I wanted to interact more with others as a woman. 

George Washington University was having a fall open house. I went back to the room with my new eye makeup, restyled my wig, touched up the rest of my makeup and put on my dark suit that I bought when I was down in Atlanta.  I stopped at the front desk to ask the clerk for directions to the University and she told me how to get there with no look of surprise or shock.

I parked, walked up the steps of the University,  heels tapping, the autumn breeze cool around my legs; “So this is what it’s like,” I thought! I don’t remember being nervous coming into the lobby, where like any other open house, tables were set-up. I spoke with the receptionist and she gave me an overview, and I filled out a questionnaire.  She was friendly, and I believe she read me, but she didn’t miss a beat. I suspect people presume that I am transitioning, but that’s OK with me. In fact, it makes me feel good.

I waited on line to speak with the tech rep, but grew tired and slipped out. I needed to go back to the hotel and get my glasses. Once there, I rode up in the elevator with a businessman, who just said “hello” and asked me my floor number. I had a strange feeling riding the two of us alone. Standing there with both feet together, my arms instinctively crossed against my chest. I could see him in the reflection looking at my legs. Did he smell my perfume? Was he checking me out as I had done to so many women? What was he thinking? The tables had turned. I felt odd. I understood now.

I got my glasses headed out to The Cheese Cake Factory and enjoyed a nice dinner, had great service and was addressed as “Miss.” On my way back to the room, I stopped in the lobby and got a bottle of wine from the Marriott Market; the clerk charge it to my  room.

Off I went back to my room and the Cinderella turned back into a fella <sigh>! What was extraordinary about this trip was that I was going where I wanted, when I wanted with no inhibitions. Once I got into my “girl mindset,” I just went to the different stores and restaurants without thinking. I wasn’t acting like a woman anymore --- I was just being  myself. I am sure some of you girls can relate to this. It was a sea change, one that both thrills me and also scares me a bit.

In the past, when I finished a day out en femme, I was glad to put the pretty things away. This time, I wanted to get dressed again the next morning.

It’s not the clothes that interest me, it’s the lifestyle.

 

 

 

A girl and her guy/girl, circa 2013.

 

 

 

Wearing Paige Denim.

I’m So Tired

I misunderstood Emily's question Do you ever tire of femulating? when I answered it on Saturday.

So she wrote back, "My real question was do you ever just yearn to not have these feelings that attract you to femulating? In other words, for me... sometimes after sex, sometimes after a nice time with friends and my wife, sometimes when I've obsessed about femulating, I suddenly get this feeling of 'I wish the desires would go away forever.' Have you ever felt that way?"

Yes, but in a different way than you.

I spend too much time thinking about femulating and thinking about living my life as a woman. I feel it is time wasted and negatively effects my productivity. If I am doing something I don't like doing or if I am doing something, but feeling lazy, thinking about femulating provides a distraction from what I should be doing.

I believe that if I transitioned, I would not think about femulating as much as I do now and that I would be a more productive person as a woman.

So, yes, I am very tired of femulating and should just transition and be done with it.

Comments please?

 

This purported femulator appears in the music video for
Tom Petty’s You Don’t Know How It Feels in 1994.

 

Wearing Brahmin (bag).

Lana, Gore and Stana

Yesterday, I referenced a report on The Huffington Post about the transition of film director Lana Wachowski (photo right).

Today, I refer you to a commentary about Lana’s transition written by Andrew O’Hehir on Salon.

Titled “Lana Wachowski’s quiet coming-out party,” it is well worth reading.

***

In other trans-related news, Gore Vidal, the author of Myra Breckinridge, died yesterday at the age of 98 86.

Oh, how well I remember reading Myra back in 1968 when I was a young budding femulator. The book was an eye opener and funny, too.

“The Matrix” Director Transitions

According to a report by Cavan Sieczkowsk in The Huffington Post today, “the director of The Matrix and the highly-anticipated film Cloud Atlas has become the first major Hollywood director to publicly come out as transgender. Lana Wachowski revealed she has transitioned while promoting her new film.”

Read the whole story here.

Not So Fast

In my most recent posts here, I evidently gave some people the impression that I was transitioning real soon now.

I wish that were true, but it is not. I am ready to transition, have been for some time now, but my circumstances are such that I don't see it happening in the near future unless something changes.

I am sorry if I misled anyone.

In the Meantime

I am ready. I want to transition and start living 24/7 as a woman tomorrow morning. But circumstances prevent this from happening... at least for now.

In the meantime, I will relish every opportunity that comes my way to be en femme.

But what do I do during the time I cannot be en femme? The answer: Be a feminine guy.

I am already feminine in many ways. I often say that I am the most feminine guy most people I know know. But I wondered how I could step it up, that is, be more feminine.

So I searched for an answer and Miss Google revealed a webpage that describes "How to Be a Feminine Guy."

I already follow most of its recommendations to one degree or another. And here are some things that I do that are not on the list:

- Speak softly and carry a big purse

- Wear jewelry: necklaces, bracelets, earrings, etc.

- Paint nails with a clear lacquer

- Wear feminine underwear, that is, panties and camis, or if need be, shapewear (girdles, bras, etc.)

- Use feminized mannerisms, specifically, carriage, posture, and hand and arm placement

- Wear female footwear; flats will do, but something with a little heel is even better

- Curl eyelashes and thin eyebrows

- Wear feminine hosiery; knee-highs, tights, and pantyhose (depending on how much leg will show)

So in the meantime, girls, be the most feminine male you can be!

Transitioning Smart

Calie of Calie's Chronicles fame has an excellent post about using your head if and when you transition.

I highly recommend it and urge you to read her wise words.

Food for Thought: A Two-Course Meal

Course 1

Course 2

Bon apettit!