2022 Transgender Lives Conference

At the 2019 Trans Lives Conference
(when it was really “live”)

The 16th annual Transgender Lives Conference will be held virtually on Saturday, April 30, 2022 via the UConn Health Center’s WebEx from 9:30 AM to 4:00 PM.

The conference is geared towards social service providers, medical and legal professionals, transgender and non-binary gender diverse and gender non-conforming community members, as well as allies and supporters interested in learning about healthcare and legal issues that affect our communities.

To register for the conference go to the conference’s registration webpage. Registration is free, but $10 donations via PayPal are welcome.

Yours truly will be presenting at the conference (time slot to be determined). The topic of my presentation is “Confidence: A Crossdresser’s Best Friend.” It’s a topic I covered at previous conferences and it has always been a crowd pleaser.

I hope to see you there!

Update:

This just in: I will be presenting at at 10 AM EDT on Saturday, April 30.

Wearing Guilty of Glam

Kyle De'Volle

A Crossdresser’s Best Friend

“Confidence: A Crossdresser’s Best Friend” is the title of the workshop I will present at two local conferences this spring, the True Colors Conference and the Transgender Lives Conference.

When I started going out among the civilians, I was confident that I would be read by everyone because of my size (6 foot 5 in heels and 200 pounds plus). In fact, I was so confident that I would not pass that it preventing me from even trying. I lost count how many times I drove to the mall en femme, then drove home without ever getting out of the car.

But I was determined and after making another drive to the mall en femme and sitting in my car for 20 minutes, I finally got up the courage to get out of the car and enter the mall.

Talk about anti-climatic! Instead of all hell breaking loose, I hardly garnered any attention at all. A few women smiled at me, a few even said “hello” and one or two smirked, but most of the time I was as invisible as a cisgender middle-aged woman.

My confidence performed an about-face that day and each time I went out thereafter, my confidence just increased to the point that today, I don’t think about it.

Wearing Rebecca Taylor

Patrick Walshe McBride femulating for a 2018 episode of
UK television’s Shakespeare & Hathaway: Private Investigators

No Show

I am very sorry and very disappointed, but I will not be able to present and attend the Transgender Lives Conference on Saturday. It is due to a personal family matter that I cannot work around. I was hoping to work it out in time to attend the Conference, but it was not meant to be.

Again, I am very sorry, but this bump in the road was unavoidable.

Just Another Day in Pair of Wedges

Shoes

Saturday, I slipped on my wedge heels (Payless' Mink Wedge from Fioni) at 7 AM and took them off at 5 PM. By my calculations, that's ten hours in 3-1/2-inch heels and my feet never complained.

My experience is that wedge heels are very comfortable even wearing them over long periods of time. During one of my recent stints at Hamvention, I wore a pair both days that I attended the event ― most of the time standing while staffing a booth on a concrete floor and I had happy feet at the end of each day. So I swear by wedges and need to add more to my shoe collection.

RIP

After a wonderful Saturday at the Transgender Lives Conference, I saw an obituary in Sunday's newspaper that broke my heart. A 20-something transperson died. Her name was listed with a male first name, followed by a female first name in parenthesis and then her surname, e.g., Michael (Michelle) Smith.

I assumed she was a transwoman because female pronouns were used throughout the obit and her photo presented a female visage.

Her cause of death was not mentioned, so I assumed the worst.

Thought for the Day

Living as a man is highly overrated.

Wearing ML Monique Lhuillier (Source: Rent the Runway)

Professional femulator Paolo Ballesteros and family.

Transgender Lives Conference

That's me Saturday afternoon at the Transgender Lives
Conference. I want to know what gravitational anomaly 
causes my necklace to fall over one breast rather than
between two breasts?

Saturday, I attended the Transgender Lives Conference at the UConn Health Center. Doors opened at 8 AM, the conference got underway at 9 AM and my presentation, "Makeup Basics for Trans Females," was at 9:30.

I live about 20 minutes away from the Health Center, but I was up at 5 AM because I have to feed the pets, clean the litter boxes, clean and refill the pets' bowls for their next feeding, get the newspaper from the tube at the end of the driveway and make myself a cup of coffee before I began to femulate, which got underway at 5:45 AM.

I shaved, showered, slipped on my undies, did my makeup and hair, got dressed and was out the door arriving at the Health Center shortly after 8 AM. I wore the same outfit I wore for my flat-tired outreach trip on Thursday, that is, a new "cut-out" top from Avon, relatively new dressy wedges from Payless and an old, but seldom-worn ankle-length split skirt from Newport News.

As I entered the Health Center, I was impressed with the number of people already in line to enter the Conference. I found out later that there were over 250 attendees, which is an all-time high for the conference (the Conference gets bigger every year).

After I checked in at the presenter's check-in table, I visited the continental breakfast spread, poured myself a glass of orange juice (I was thirsty, not hungry) and mingled with the attendees, saying "Hello" to friends and acquaintances, as well as many friendly strangers.

After attending Diana's welcoming remarks at 9 AM, I found the classroom where my presentation was to begin at 9:30. Ten people showed up: 8 solo and one couple.

When I gave this presentation last month at the True Colors Conference, I felt uncomfortable and I believe my presentation suffered as a result. The source of my discomfort was the fact that I am 66-years-old and I was addressing an audience whose average age was probably 17. What high school girl needs to hear about the benefits of eye wrinkle cream?

My audience Saturday was an older crowd, adults rather than kids, so I felt I had something to offer that would be beneficial to my audience. As a result, I was looser, told some related anecdotes and most of my attempts at humor were successful. Overall, it went very well.

After my presentation, I attended Rev. Moonhawk River Stone's workshop "Being Trans and Aging: A Workshop For Trans* Elders and Their Allies." Since I am on the brink of semi-retirement, I thought this presentation would be useful and I was correct.  

Next was lunch and I dined with two old friends from my support group, Andrea and Deja Vu, and a new acquaintance, Jamey from Florida. While I was eating, I saw my two best girlfriends from Fantasia Fair, Melissa and Natalie, in the lunch line, so as soon as I finished eating, I joined them at their table and we caught up on old and new times.

After lunch, I attended a presentation about family relationships, but I left at the half-way mark because it concentrated on parents and children, where the child was transitioning. It was interesting, but not very applicable to me, not to mention that the tiny classroom was packed with people and very uncomfortable. So I made a hasty exit and returned to the lobby where I found Diana and twisted her arm to take some photos, one of which appears above.

The last presentation I attended was Dallas Denny's "Ding, Dong, the Medical Model is Dead," which discussed the history of the origin and decline of the medical model of transsexualism. Being a history nut of sorts, I found this presentation both interesting and revealing. If you are a history nut, I suggest that you visit Dallas' website, which has a vast amount of equally interesting and revealing articles related to people of our sort.

After Dallas' presentation, I hung out in the lobby, where snacks could be had. I indulged with a delicious oatmeal raisin cookie and a Diet Pepsi and while doing so, struck up a conversation with a new acquaintance, Roberta, who was from my hometown. She even lived in my old neighborhood for awhile and attended my grammar school... small world!

It had been a busy day and the 5 AM wakeup call was taking its toll, so I decided to forgo the keynote address and awards presentations and instead, returned home.

It was a very good day. I saw a lot of my friends and a few Femulate readers including a ham radio sister from New Hampshire. The Conference was the best one I have ever attended and I look forward to the next one.

Wearing Veronica Beard (Source: Veronica Beard).

Professional femulator Maguette, who performed at the Eldorado in Berlin circa 1930. 

See You / See Me in New Shoes Soon

Saturday, I will attend and present at the Transgender Lives conference.

My presentation, "Makeup Basics for Trans Females," runs from 9:30 to 10:30 AM, but I plan to be at the conference throughout the day.

If you attend the conference, I hope we can meet up person-to-person and have a girl talk. You can't miss me ― I will be the tall blond asking strangers to take my photo!

Sunday morning, when I was getting dressed, I was searching through my shoe boxes trying to find a specific pair of high heel pumps when I came across a pair of shoes that I had forgotten that I had purchased! Not only had I forgotten about buying them, but I had never worn them ― they were brand new, mint in the box.

I have a lot of shoe boxes in my closet and I wondered how many other lost soles I owned. So Monday evening, I removed all the shoe boxes from the closet and took inventory. Turns out there were six more pairs of forgotten shoes, never worn, brand new, mint in the box.

Then I decided to organize what I owned. Soon there were stacks of shoe boxes with each stack representing a specific style...  flats, wedges, medium heel pumps, high heel pumps, Mary-Janes, sling-backs, T-straps, boots, booties, etc.

Before I moved the collection back in my closet, I knew that some shoes had to go. There was one pair that was in shabby shape, so it went in the trash. And I knew there were others that were bad fits, but I was not sure which of my older shoes fell in that category, so I removed my socks, slipped on a pair of knee-highs and began trying on shoes.

Turned out that seven pairs were bad fits. I expected more, but surprisingly about a half dozen pairs that were troublesome in the past now fit comfortably! I assume that their improved fit was due to my weight loss this past winter.

As a result, I only had seven pairs to deposit in the Goodwill box at work and have six "new" pairs to wear during future girl-time... like this Saturday!

I love this outfit, but its presentation is a pet peeve of mine. Why do stores lop off the top of a model's head? Do they think that a pretty face detracts from what the model is wearing? In my opinion, it's just the opposite; a pretty face completes the picture and makes the whole presentation more attractive. Sadly, more and more stores are doing this. Yuck! (Source: Bluefly)

Veit Alex, male womenswear model

Grab Bag or Purse or Pocketbook

Thank-you

Thank you all who passed along your kind thoughts to ease my grieving over the death of my dear cat.

She was the friendliest cat I have ever known. If you were her friend, she would start purring as soon as she saw you and would run over to greet you.

She will be irreplaceable and it will take a long time to get used to living without her.

Thank you all again!

Miss Eng'g

Auntie Marlena informed me that the 2017 installment of the Miss Engineering (Miss Eng'g) Facebook page is up and running and full of photos (like the one on the right) and videos from the amazing womanless beauty pageant put on annually at the College of Engineering, University of Philippines-Diliman.

Payless Closing 400 Stores

Payless Shoe Stores filed for bankruptcy and will be closing 400 stores. Here is a list of the store closings. My favorite Payless stores were not on the list; I hope your favorite stores miss the list, too.

Adam/Amanda

Actor Jackson Rathbone femulated on a 2009 episode of television's Criminal Minds playing a perpetrator with a split personality (Adam/Amanda).

In the past, I have seen photos of Jackson's excellent femulation (see below). Patty just alerted me to a behind-the-scenes video of the episode including Jackson's transformation from Adam to Amanda. It is worth the watch to see Jackson's femulation in motion.

Trans Health & Law Conference Workshop Schedule

The workshop schedule for the April 29th Trans Lives Conference at the UConn Health Center has just been published here and my "Makeup Basics for Trans Females" workshop is in the 9:30 to 10:30 AM slot. I hope to see you there!

Wearing Caroline Constas top and Cinq à Sept skort.

Jackson Rathbone femulating on TV's Criminal Minds.

Coming in April: Transgender Lives

The 11th Annual Transgender Lives Conference: The Intersection of Health and Law will be held on Saturday, April 29 from 8:00 AM until 5:00 PM at the UConn Health Center in Farmington, Connecticut.

This year's keynote speaker is Nicole Maines.

I will attend and present a workshop titled "Makeup Basics for Trans Females." In addition to mine, there will be more than 40 other workshops; here is a description of them all. There will also be a trans families track (four consecutive workshops) by PFLAG and a drop-in clinic by GLAD to help anyone change his or her birth certificate.

This conference is a full day concentrating on transgender lives, that is, concentrating on You. Admission is only $25 and includes a free lunch if you register before April 24 (who says, "There ain't no such thing as a free lunch.")

The UConn Health Center is located half way between Boston and New York City (about 110 miles either way) just off I-84 Exit 39, so it is an easy drive for folks living in the Northeast.

I hope to see you there. I'll be the 6-foot-2 blonde in 4-inch heels – you can't miss me!

Wearing Venus.

Dylan Stephens, male womenswear model

Conferencing

Attending the 2014 True Colors Conference 

This spring, I will attend and present at two trans-related conferences this spring.

True Colors Conference on March 17 at the University of Connecticut in Storrs, CT.

Transgender Lives Conference on April 29 at the UConn Health Center in Farmington, CT.

True Colors is a two-day conference where thousands of LGBT youths and their supporters from throughout the Northeast (and beyond) meet to attend what is essentially a GLBT youth convention. The conference is put together by True Colors, a non-profit organization that works with other social service agencies, schools, organizations, and within communities to ensure that the needs of sexual and gender minority youth are both recognized and competently met.

Transgender Lives is a one-day event  is for service providers, medical and legal professionals, the trans and gender non-conforming community, allies and all those interested in the  issues facing the trans and gender non-conforming communities. The event is brought about by Connecticut TransAdvocacy Coalition (CTAC), a coalition and grassroots oriented organization comprised of individuals and organizations dedicated to the advancement and attainment of full human rights for all trans and gender non-conforming people in every aspect of society.

"Makeup Basics for Trans Females" is the title of my presentation and is described, as follows: Putting on your face can be a cosmetic calamity if you don't have a roadmap. This workshop provides guidance and tips for the transgender female on how to successfully navigate the world of cosmetics so that she can start looking like the female she really is.

I have presented at Transgender Lives once before and at True Colors five previous times and  and I look forward to doing so again.

Wearing Madeleine.

Vice Ganda is a Filipino comedian, television presenter, endorser, actor, author, fashion icon, recording artist and has starred in several films, six of which are considered the highest-grossing films in Philippine cinema. (Source: Wikipedia)

Acceptance and Rejection

At the 2015 Transgender Lives Conference

There are two conferences in the Spring that I try to attend and present at: True Colors Conference and Transgender Lives Conference.

There was a call for workshops at these conferences in the fall and I submitted proposals to both. My proposed workshops were basically the same for both conferences.

True Colors Conference accepted my workshop proposal soon after the deadline for workshop submissions had passed.

Transgender Lives Conference rejected my proposal long after the deadline had passed. The reason given for rejection was that my workshop “didn't fit in with health and law.”

Last year, my workshop didn’t fit in with health and law, but it was accepted. A good time was had by those who attended and the workshop “got good reviews.”

Needless to say, I am upset and very disappointed and I will not attend the conference.

Wearing Ann Taylor.

Alex Lutz and Bruno Sanches in French television's Catherine et Liliane

Morning Person

Saturday, I attended the Transgender Lives Conference at the UConn Health Center in Farmington. Continuing from yesterday's post, this is the conclusion of my story.

After my police escort, I found the conference and picked up the registration and presenter packages. I did not recognize anyone except a few people who were as busy as could be running the conference, so I did not bother them, got a cup of coffee and looked over the program trying to decide what presentation to attend before mine at 10:45 AM.

A few people I encountered said “Hello,” but they were passing like ships in the night hellos, rather than long time, no see hellos. 

And then a male name-tagged “Tom” stopped and engaged me in conversation. She had attended my old support group’s meetings and remembered me, but I did not remember her especially since I would have only seen her en femme in the past. Nevertheless, we had an pleasant chat.

I visited the various booths that were set up for the conference, talked to the folks staffing those booths, picked up some literature and then went to auditorium for the “welcoming remarks.” 

The person who was supposed to welcome us was a no-show, so my friend Diana, who was running the conference, welcomed us. One memorable moment during the welcome was when a woman seated in the row behind me tapped me on the shoulder and remarked how much she "loved" my outfit. (During the conference, I received a number of kudos regarding my outfit.)

I decided to attend a workshop that sounded interesting on paper, but was not interesting to me in person. The person presenting the workshop spoke well, seemed to know the subject matter, but I did not get it. Maybe it was me, I dunno. Anyway, I will not mention the title of the workshop or the presenter’s name to protect the innocent.

Jan and I were up next. Our presentation “Crossdressing in the Real World” was basically a show and tell. We showed photos of us out and about, explained what we were doing in each photo and hoped that it would inspire the attendees to get out of the closet and go out and about, too.

I felt that I was not very organized and winged it. Despite what I felt, a number of people said they enjoyed the presentation (by the way, there were about a dozen in attendance). However, one person (Allison) e-mailed me some feedback and suggestions for improvement including, "Tell them what you're going to tell them, tell them, and tell them what you told them."

Self-criticisms: at the beginning of the workshop, tell the attendees to break in any time with questions. Also, let the attendees introduce themselves and say why they are attending the workshop.

Allison was happy to meet me in person. I won’t go into details, but I helped her get out of the closet. She told me she was having lunch with an old support group friend, Willa, who I had not seen in about 15 years, so I invited myself to join them for lunch.

Box lunches were included and all the attendees met up together for lunch in the cafeteria. Only then did I realize how many people were in attendance – over 150!

I enjoyed chatting with Willa over lunch (I chatted more than I ate) and met some other girls including Betty and Francesca. I also ran into other old friends: Dallas, Janis, Karen, Moonhawk and Tony.

I left after lunch because my wife was having a bad day with her MS. So I missed the afternoon presentations and Dallas Denny’s keynote address, but I had a very good half-day and look forward to another outing real soon now.

Wearing Dior (dress and shoes, left) and Nina Ricci (dress and shoes, right)

Actor Sid Silvers in the 1935 film Broadway Melody of 1936