Shopping at the Barn

Out en femme last Tuesday, I bought three pairs of leggings at Macy's. When I took my leggings home, I realized that I needed a new top or two to wear with my leggings, so I added tops to my to-buy list for the next time I go shopping.

I also noticed that I the majority of my dresses are blacks, grays, and browns, so I also added "colorful dresses" to my to-buy list.

Today, I realized that in two weeks and two days, I will be traveling to Dayton for the Hamvention and time was a'wasting to buy clothes for the trip.

So at lunch time, I grabbed my to-buy list and my Dress Barn dressbarn scratch-off discount coupon and went shopping at the Barn in boy mode.

Saleslady Laura did not bat an eye when I told her I was shopping for myself and she helped me pick out a slew of tops and dresses to try on and that I did.

After tryong on about six tops and eight dresses, two tops and four dresses made the initial cut.

I eliminated one top because I thought it was too pricey and too see-through and I eliminated one dress (navy blue with white polka dots) because it was not "colorful."

My scratch-off coupon only saved me 15%, but I did qualify for a free journal.

Here is what I bought:

Floral Cardigan and Tank Duet (top left). Gracing a tropical wash of watercolors, lacy silver-flecked blooms taper off into ruffling lace-trimmed sleeves and a fluid pointed hem. Attached lace-trimmed tank. Short tiered sleeves. Pointed hem.

I think this duet will go nicely with my black leggings that have lace on the hem.

Collared Floral Dress (top right). Circled by a bright buttoned collar, summery shades of peonies and apple blossoms bloom atop the panels that ring the neck of this shift. 41" length from shoulder to hem. Nonfunctional button on collar. Center back zip.

This dress is so cute; it just skims the top of my knees.

Abstract Cap-Sleeve Dress (bottom left).Gentle gathers crisscross at the bust of a cap-sleeve sheath covered in abstract confetti of watery hues that ripple into a fluid skirt.44" from shoulder to hem. Lined bodice, light shoulder pads. Pull over.

The photo does not do this dress justice. It is hugs my figure, covers my knees (yeah - I know - unheard of), and the color looks great on me.

Bordered Abstract Dress and Bolero Duet (bottom right). This flared frock's leafy splashes of color are complemented by a matching grosgrain ribbon belt and bright bolero. 44" length from shoulder to hem. Hidden back zip with hook-and-eye at top on dress. Fully lined dress; elbow-length sleeves on sweater.

This dress is probably my favorite purchase of the day. The skirt of the dress flares out more than the photo indicates and it looks so good without the bolero, I wear the dress without it.

Now I think I am all set for Dayton except for packing.

Thursday thingies

I returned to Dress Barn to exchange the top I bought yesterday. When I tried it on with the cropped pants last night, I did not like the way it looked on me.

On the other hand, the cropped pants fit perfectly and I love the way they looked on me. Now, this comes from a girl, who usually shuns pants and trousers.

Anyway, I exchanged yesterday's top for a different top (a green print) that I think will look nicer. I also bought a cool pair of clip-on earrings. They are silver tone circles, about an inch wide, that are painted gloss black on one side.

I received my daily e-mail from JCPenney trying to convince to buy something from them. The subject of the e-mail was "3 Days 'Til Mom's Day! Dress The Part." Well, I already do that!

en femme on Tuesday

Yesterday was a good day out en femme despite the miserable weather (a light rain fell throughout the day and temperature hovered around 50 degrees, but it felt colder).

I wore my favorite dress and broke in a pair of heels that I bought on clearance from Newport-News many months ago, but had not worn yet.

I was out the door and arrived at my first stop, Payless , just after 10 AM to shop for a big handbag and comfortable shoes for my NYC trip.

They had a nice selection of big bags, but only a few had the top zip closure that I desired, so that narrowed down the selection process. After perusing all their offerings, I finally chose a big black "chic oversize tote" featuring "softie faux leather, silvertone grommet details, an interior large enough for most laptops."

Next, I shopped for a pair of comfortable flats for trekking around the paved canyons of NYC next month. The sizes were not consistent between styles, so I tried on every pair of flats that the store had on display in sizes 11, 11W, and 12.

I almost settled for a pair of size 11 Mary Jane flats that were a little loose, but then I spotted a pair of size 12 black patent moccasins that fit like a glove. I don't usually like moccasins, but these were different; they had black patent "faux leather uppers and a stylish silver buckle detail." They are really cute and don't look like traditional moccasins; they are also very comfortable and are the Dexter brand, so the quality is probably better, too.

While searching for the flats, I also found a pair of comfortable black round toe mid-heel Mary Janes that I added to my purchases.

The cashier was very chatty and remarked how I had such good taste! He liked all my purchases and said that the handbag I chose was flying out of the store. He also remarked that the mid-heel Mary Janes were very popular with dancers; he recently had to special order 15 pairs for a local dance troupe.

By the way, while I was trying on shoes, another customer said she loved the shoes I was wearing and wondered if I bought them at Payless because she wanted to buy a pair for herself. My Newport-News clearance shoes are black peep-toe Mary Janes with a 3-inch stiletto heel and a white button that holds the strap in place. The shoes are very cute and surprisingly comfortable considering their height.

I loaded my Payless purchases in my Subaru, then went shopping at Dress Barn, which was in the same strip mall as Payless. My goal was to find a pair of cropped pants and top to wear during my NYC stay in June.

I found a cute beige tunic length top with a square neckline and a brown floral print and I matched it with a pair of beige cropped pants. When I tried the outfit on, it was adorable, but the pants were too big. I figured that the next size down would be just right, but they did not have the next size down; I tried on a pair two sizes down, but they were too small. I bought the top and plan to go to another Dress Barn today to see if they have the pants in my size. (Scored! I found a pair in my size at another Dress Barn and I also bought another top to go with the pants.)

As expected when shopping during a weekday morning, most of the customers I encountered were retirees and young mothers with babies in tow. Nobody paid much attention to me. And the ones that did, like the woman in Payless, interacted with me as if I was just another female customer. It was very validating.

My shopping was a little rushed because I had to be in New Haven for the 12:20 PM class that I was outreaching. So back in the Subaru, I had a 15-minute drive to Diana's house. Diana was also participating in the outreach and she offered to drive to New Haven. I arrived at her house at 11:45 and she drove me in her Prius to Southern Connecticut State University. We arrived at the classroom right on time and met the other people doing outreach, two no-op male-to-female transsexuals and the spouse of one.

We each gave a short bio, then the class split into three separate groups and each of us took a turn answering questions for each group. Professor Schildroth has been very accommodating and I was able to go solo again, which pleased me because all the questions would be related to my brand of transgenderism (whatever that may be), rather than sharing the Q&A time with someone whose brand of transgenderism differed from my brand.

We outreached two classes yesterday, each with three groups, so we each did six Q&A sessions yesterday. By the way, the ratio of females-to-males in each class was about 10 to 1 and each class had about 30 students. (The photo is me waiting to do outreach at the second class.)

Here are the some highlights of my Q&A sessions:

I received a lot of questions asking if I was gay (I am not).

A couple of students asked if I have been hit upon and what do I do if I am (yes, I have been hit upon and when I am, I point to my wedding ring). That question is validating in that the students asking the question must think that I look like someone who might get hit upon!

I also received a lot of questions about my voice. Usually, I do not get asked about my voice, but yesterday, I was a little hoarse (from allergies) and my voice was less feminine than usual, so I think that is why I had a more inquiries about my voice than usual.

My makeup received a lot of inquiries (how did I learn to do my makeup) and a lot of praise.

My hair also received a lot of positive comments and many of the students were surprised when they learned that my hair was a wig. I was wearing my new "Stacie" wig for the first time yesterday and it was a little tight, but that too shall pass.

Most of the students seemed to appreciate our presence in the class; they showed us respect and laughed at most of my attempts at humor. By the way, I mentioned my blog and some students asked for the URL. If any students are reading this, I would love to hear from you, so write a comment or send e-mail.

In between classes, we dined at the student union. I had a slice of pizza and a bottle of iced tea while reading the comments from the students in the first class. I received some positive comments along with some "Staci seemed nervous" comments, but nothing negative.

After the second class, Diana, I, and the married couple went to eat at a diner in Cromwell. At that point, I had been wearing a heels for over 7 hours and I was surprised how comfortable they were after that long and active day, but I decided to switch shoes on the way to the diner and wore my new mid-heel Mary Janes. What a difference! It was like switching to bedroom slippers!

Being a Tuesday evening, the diner was not busy and we were able to get a big corner booth. I love diner breakfast food, so I had an omelette with home fries, rye toast, and coffee. We talked about the day and had a pleasant dining experience. Our waiter was very accommodating and treated us like ladies.

After dinner/breakfast, we said our goodbyes and I drove home exhausted from my day out en femme, but very pleased about how well it turned out. It was a very positive, validating experience and I look forward to doing it again.

another trip to Dress Barn

When I called Sunday to inform Dress Barn that I was on the disabled list and could not be the hostess at my support group's party, I asked the sales rep to hold the daytime outfit I was supposed to model in order that I could purchase it this week.

I returned today to pick up the outfit. The top is similar to the same as the one pictured here and the skirt is a black knee-length pencil skirt with a wide black patent belt.

Liz, the sales rep who arranged the party was not on, so I dealt with Denise, the store manager. The District Manager had them return the outfit to the racks yesterday, but Denise was able to retrieve them.

I could not remember what size skirt I had selected, so she handed me two sizes and escorted me to the dressing room to try them on (the smaller size fit). I was in boy mode and the other customers must have wondered what was going on, but I did not mind. Let them think what they want.

I talked with Denise about doing another party in the late winter and we shared some ideas about what worked and did not work on Sunday and what to do next time.

As hostess, I was supposed to get a 25% discount on purchases and I really did not expect to get the discount today, five days after the fact, but Denise gave me the discount anyway.

I paid with my Dress Barn credit card and after Demise swiped the card and returned it to me, she mentioned that I can get another card with "Staci" as the name on the card instead of my boy name. I was a little surprised that she knew my femme name because I never mentioned it to her, but I guess my reputation preceded me on Sunday.

I exited the store at the same time as another customer, who saw me exiting the dressing room with skirts in hand. Her car was next to mine and I noticed that its license plate displayed an Amateur Radio call sign, as does mine.

I pointed out that our cars had similar license plates and I asked her if she was a ham. She replied that the call sign belonged to her deceased husband. That led to a pleasant, but short conversation about ham radio and then we went our separate ways.

to pack or not to pack

One of the first things I did when I knew I was going to Fantasia Fair was start working on a list of what to pack for seven days en femme.

My previous longest stint en femme was four days at the IFGE Convention in 2004. Being anal retentive, I saved my packing list from that event and I used it as a reference while making my list for Fantasia Fair 2008.

To start, I listed the day-to-day Fantasia Fair activities and assigned one outfit to each. This resulted in six daytime outfits, six evening outfits, and one special occasion outfit.

Since I favor dresses over skirts, pants, and tops, mixing and matching separate pieces does not make much of a dent in my packing list, but I am reconsidering and may revise my list to include separates that I can mix and match to save some packing space.

Truth of the matter is that despite the list, I over-packed in 2004 (ten pairs of shoes) and probably will over-pack next weekend, but at least the list serves as a reminder of the "necessities" that I must be sure to bring with me to Cape Cod.

Currently, my packing list includes ten pairs of shoes, but I want to pare that down a bit. Shoes, especially heels, take up a lot of packing space. But shoes are also my weakness and I bet ten pairs make the roundtrip to Provincetown.

Do I really need four wigs? Do I really need three pocketbooks? My answers are probably "no" and "yes," respectively.

Wigs don't take up much space, but I am sure one of the four will stay home. On the other hand, pocketbooks like shoes, take up a lot of space, but I will probably take three because I "need" all three to match the outfits I plan to wear.

Luckily, I am driving my Subaru to Fantasia Fair (over four hours door-to-door) because I don't know how I would pack if I was flying. (FYI, some girls suggest shipping ahead by UPS, Fedex, or your carrier of choice.)

dress to shop

Meg wrote, "When you're dressed and shop, what do you wear?

"I'm planning to talk to saleswomen and ask to try clothes on next time I go. I've wanted to but never done it so far.

"Is a dress better than a skirt/blouse? If I'm wearing the latter and I want to try on a dress, I have to remove both and there May Be Many Buttons. If I wear the former, I need to find a top to go with a bottom, or vice-versa when I want to try one on, and if the dress goes over my head my wig could get out-of-sorts (also with a pullover top, hence the worry about buttons.

"How about sharing your experiences?"

I'll gladly share my experience, Meg.

When I go shopping and plan to try clothes on in the store, I wear something that is easy to take off and put on, so usually a dress without a lot of buttons. Also, something that has a wide collar so as not to muss up my hair and makeup when I pull it off and on (so avoid anything with a turtleneck).

The best thing I ever wore shopping was a dress that had a zipper up front that zipped from the neckline to the hemline of the dress. I could get in and out of that dress quick like a bunny.

Also, to minimize changing back into the outfit you wore into the store, take as many outfits as the store allows to the dressing room. Or shop in a store where there is personalized service with a salesperson at your beck and call to fetch outfits for you while you are in the dressing room.

If you are shopping for a skirt to match a top or vice versa, then that is a different story and you will want to wear whatever you are trying to match, unless it is so generic that you can find something in the store to use for matching.

On the other hand, if you are just skirt shopping, for example, wear an easy on-and-off dress. When you find the skirts you want to try on, grab a top, too, so that you will have something to model with the skirts. Of course, you don't have to purchase the top, but then you might find one that goes so nicely with the skirt you are buying that you will just have to buy the top, too!

I hope that helps!

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Occasionally, I receive e-mails asking for advice. Often, the writers of these e-mails indicate that they are hesitant about writing to me for advice because they don't want to bother me.

On the contrary, I love receiving e-mails asking for advice. My maternal side loves to help others if she can, so please feel free to ask. Maybe I can help you and maybe you will help me by expanding my knowledge of the transworld. And maybe our e-mail exchange will inspire me to write an interesting blog posting (like this one).

So, use the "send me e-mail" link on the right to write to me.