On the Road

By Brenda

For many of us. crossdressing or femulating offers us a chance to express ourselves. Unless you have outed yourself to your spouse or family, it can be very difficult to get better at it by practicing your makeup and presentation skills.

Business travel offers an ideal environment to enjoy the art of crossdressing without the fear of getting caught by those who know you personally.

Airlines have made it more problematic with bag fees to accommodate “her luggage.” With careful packing, you can get away with just a carry-on, but that would entail a TSA pass through that could  pose a problem. Car travel offers a trunk full of shoes to choose from, but departing en femme could be risky. Hotel desk agents typically don’t really care how you check in, so a driveway to check in adventure is very possible. [Stana adds, on countless occasions, I have checked-in in male mode and checked-out in girl mode (or vice versa) and it has never been an issue.]

If you plan ahead, there are local crossdresser groups that have outings that might coincide with your stay to allow you to venture out with others limiting any anxiety of where to go or what to do.

Even if you cannot go fully dressed, the hotel offers a chance after a day of business meetings to practice your makeup skills, which is crucial to proper presentation. I find that even civilians can get the foundation color wrong, but they can get help from the cosmetics counter. I am still not confident with trying that in either gender mode, so I have used my colors when I had a proper makeover done and have experimented when that base color was discontinued. I was able to try a few wig styles and makeup ideas to arrive at a look I felt good about.

Many large cities offer makeover services and I urge you to try them because you will have a very safe environment to learn from a master in the art, offer proper color choices and have a better wig collection to choose from. You must have an agenda of where to go afterwards. ATM machines are popular and shopping malls are safe. You will cruise right by the front desk when you get back to your hotel and sashaying up to your room is easy and will bring great confidence.

I took the plunge for a proper makeover after being disappointed so many times by my lack of skills in makeup application. This is key to femulating well. So pay attention when getting this done and even take notes on the actual products being used.

I was so thrilled with how I looked and felt, I ventured out in the world with my held up high. However, I was very scared about getting caught in my neighbourhood. Doing this in a far off city would have been ideal. The makeover process really turned things around for me because I was able to really really see how well I could look giving me a lot of confidence to venture out as truly myself.

Some Tips

Makeup is key and takes practice. Press-on nails are your friend

TSA has not been an issue... not even asking me why I have four pairs of heels in my carry on. But for makeup, the checked bag will have to be planned.

Dressing your age or your chosen persona is also important to blending in. I feel comfortable as a middle-aged business woman in a two-piece dress suit with suitable heels. Leave the stripper heels and shiny PVC dress in your room, as it will attract unwanted attention.

I enjoy cooler weather when my foundation doesn’t run and wearing more layers makes me too hot. I don’t know how woman really do it in hot muggy weather.

Explore the local thrift shops in both modes to find things to wear. I have found the staff to be helpful and even complimentary. And shopping malls are so busy these days, no one will be on the lookout for crossdressers, so you can enjoy your time without fear.

Local support groups are also wonderful. I did enjoy a night out for dinner at a trans-friendly restaurant and wasn’t worried about trying to fake my voice. I had a great time and really felt myself.

Of course, in-room femulations don't require much in the way of makeup, but at least have nails and lipstick to complete your look.

I have ventured out and felt so good that I rode the subway around the city and realized that no one took particular interest of a woman making her way home from work after a bit of shopping.

On one trip, I was able to a experience a rainbow and not only did I feel sexy, but also felt truly as myself – not as a crossdresser, but as someone that could live life this way full-time. My goal is to live my life as Brenda for several days as a start.

Bon voyage en femme!

Wearing New York & Company

Bill Kaulitz

Ask Me Anything

Whenever I do outreach or a workshop like the one I conducted at the True Color Conference on Friday, I begin by saying, "You can ask me anything." (You can also ask me anything by e-mail.)

My standing offer resulted in questions at my workshop and by e-mail. I have answered these questions here in the past, but these three come up so often that I am rerunning them today.

What do you recommend for developing a feminine voice?  

I highly recommend Melanie Anne Phillips' female voice course "Melanie Speaks."

Practice, practice and practice. It took three weeks of practice for 30 minutes every day before my feminine voice arrived, but it was worth the wait because it was amazing!

What do you recommend for hiding a beard?

After a close shave using a shaving gel (like Edge) and a multi-blade manual razor (like Gilette's Fusion), apply a beard cover to your muzzle. Then apply your usual foundation over the beard cover.

For beard cover, I highly recommend RCMA BC2, which is available from Alcone. It is expensive, but lasts forever because a little goes a long way.

I was looking at your photos online. How did you achieve your amazing cleavage?

Since puberty, I have had boobs. I assume I have gynecomastia, but I never sought out medical help for the "problem," so I don't know for sure.

Anyway, my breasts fill a B cup bra, so it does not take much to femulate cleavage when I wear something revealing. I just add a little padding to push my girls up and closer together and the results are fabulous!

Wearing Romwe (Source: Romwe)

Shpat Kasapi femulates Marylin Monroe on Albanian television's Your Face Sounds Familiar.

Looking Good

Paula Gaikowski sent me this link to a BuzzFeed article titled "19 Insanely Useful Makeup Tips For Trans Women." It is interesting on two fronts.

1. It has some useful makeup tips intended for women like us. (I even learned a few things.)

2. Articles like this usually appear on trans-related blogs, websites, etc., but in this case, the article appeared on what is considered a mainstream "civilian website."

That's progress!

Wearing Banana Republic (Source: Olivia Palermo)

Brendan Jordan, femulating womenswear model

Don't Age Yourself!

"5 Ways Your Makeup Might Be Aging You" by Jenny Jin is a informative article that appeared on PureWow a few days ago.

So yesterday, I received a Facebook message from a girl who wondered about my birth year (1951). She was one year younger and claimed that I "don't show any bit of age." She was "growing dismayed" because she just looks old and wanted to know what I have done to look so young.

I told her that 1951 was correct. And then I explained that I never smoked and seldom drink alcoholic beverages (maybe one bottle of beer per month). Also, I watch my weight and have weighed the same (plus or minus 5 pounds) for most of my adult life (actually, I now weigh minus 10 pounds).

I moisturize my face and neck every morning and use eye cream to minimize wrinkles (I have been doing that for about ten years).

And as luck would have it, I already avoid 4 out of the 5 ways makeup might be aging me, as described in Jenny Jin's article referenced above. And I plan on making that 5 out of 5 as soon as possible.

Wearing Veronica Beard (Source: Veronica Beard).

Lilo Wanders, professional femulator

Conquering High Heels

Walking gracefully in high heels is probably in the top five on the difficulty list for most femulators. A WhoWhatWear article by Kat Collings attempts to make this difficult task less difficult. If you follow Kat's advice, you can become a femme fatale in high heels.

The following summarizes Kat's advice followed by my comments

👠 The easiest way to look like an amateur in heels is to put your whole foot down at once as if you’re wearing flats. When wearing heels, put your heel down first, followed by your toe. This will make your walk look more natural. –Kat

In other words, don't walk tippy-toed. –Stana

👠 Wearing heels makes your stride shorter than normal, so you’ll have to take an increased number of small steps to go the same distance. We’re not recommending baby steps, but don’t try to take your usual long strides either. –Kat

Don't walk like a man. –Stana

👠 Trying to walk quickly in heels often ends up looking quite awkward. Between the smaller steps and the compromised balance, it’s best to take your time in heels. Besides, walking slowly gives off an air of confidence. –Kat

That is, femme fatale confidence. –Stana

👠 You may find you want to walk faster than your heels will allow, and end up craning your neck forward to compensate. This ends up looking strange, so allow yourself to lean just the slightest bit back when walking in heels, as this will counteract your inclination to lean forward. –Kat

Walk too fast in heels and you may trip yourself and get hurt (been there, done that). –Stana

👠 When you want to draw a straight line, you’ll get better results if you look at your end point as you draw, rather than looking at your pencil as it moves. Similarly, when walking in heels, you’ll walk more gracefully if you look at your goal point (maybe it’s the podium at the end of the stage), and visualize a straight line going toward your end point, rather than looking down at your heels as you walk.–Kat

Looking down at your heels also makes you look suspicious, as if you are trying to hide in plain sight. This just brings more attention to yourself  (what's she trying to hide?), may cause civilians to examine you more closely and possibly blow your femulation (another been there, done that). –Stana

👠 As you take each step, or if you feel yourself slipping, arch your foot slightly to put pressure on the inside of your shoe. This will make your shoe fit closer to your foot, making it easier to maneuver. –Kat

Until I read Kat's tip, I didn't realize that I was doing this subconsciously.–Stana

👠 If your shoes are ill-fitting, it makes the difficult task of walking naturally in heels almost impossible. If your heels are too big, use shoe pads for a better fit. If they are too small, consider having them stretched by a local cobbler, or try this hack to stretch them yourself. –Kat

If your shoes are well-constructed, a proper fit extends the length of time that wearing the heels will be comfortable. Also, it is very embarrassing to have a loose shoe slip off your foot while you are strutting your stuff (yet another been there, done that). –Stana

Wearing Venus.

Femulating in a YouTube advertisement (Alex's Theme).

Tuesday Tips

In the past, I recommended baby wipes for removing makeup. After all, if it's safe enough to use on a baby's bottom, then it should be safe to use on your face.

Friday evening, when I was ready to take off my makeup, I discovered I was out of baby wipes. I remembered that in the recent past, I had acquired a package of Avon makeup wipes that had been bundled with some other cosmetic products I had purchased.

I found the package and used three wipes to remove all my makeup including my eye makeup and the foundation and powder on my neck. The wipes did a better job than baby wipes. With baby wipes, I always had to use Avon eye makeup remover on my eyes, but the makeup wipes handled my eye makeup without any added help.

That sold me on makeup wipes.

By the way, after removing makeup, I always moisturize and you should, too.

👱 👱 👱

When I did my "Makeup Basics for Trans Females" presentation on Friday, there was one tip that surprised a lot of the girls in attendance, so I thought I would pass it on to the girls who read Femulate, too. It is no big revelation. It is something I learned long ago – probably during my first makeover. I assumed it was common knowledge, but my assumption was in error, so here it is.

When you apply foundation, make sure you also apply it to anything contiguous with your face that will show. That includes your ears, neck, and whatever portion of your breasts and shoulders that will be visible. Otherwise, there will be an odd-looking mismatch between your face and yours ears, neck, etc.

👱 👱 👱

During my presentation, the girls were curious about what brands of cosmetics I use. Since I am an Avon representative, I use a lot of Avon products, but I do stray away from Avon for some of the makeup I use.

Here is a list of what I use currently (in the order I use them).

Moisturiser – Olay
Eye Shadow Primer – Urban Decay
Foundation – Make Up For Ever
Contour – Marc Jacobs
Blush – Avon
Translucent Powder – Laura Mercier
Eyebrow Pencil – Avon
Eyeshadow – Avon
Eyeliner – Avon ( I use black eyeshadow with an eyeliner brush)
Mascara – Lancome
Undereye Concealer – Avon
Lipliner – Avon
Lipstick – Avon

👱 👱 👱

Any questions?

Wearing By Bazaar.

Femulators at the 2017 Night of Stars in Austria.

Pulling Off Body-Con at Any Age

Best shapewear for body-con dresses. The three checked examples are the
best choices for most femulators. (Image source: www.lingerieaddict.com)

A lot of girls like us favor very short hemlines and very high heels. We also favor body-conscious or body-con clothing—skintight clothing that emphasizes the contours of the body. (I plead guilty of all three trans trends.)

Celebrity stylist Micaela Erlanger divulges her fashion expertise on body-con in a recent installment of Who What Wear's "Ask a Stylist" column.

"Hot topic of the week? Body-con clothing and whether there's a right age to give up the figure-forming pieces. I have a simple approach to body-con, and it comes down to these three rules. 1) Only wear something if you feel comfortable. 2) Pay attention to the silhouette. And 3) Never forget about shapewear. While I always remind my clients and friends of these guidelines, the most important thing to keep in mind is to know your body and acknowledge when you don't feel comfortable—end of story."

Well, that's not actually the end of the story, so please read the rest of Ms. Erlanger's story here.

Mandy Moore

Sam Concepcion femulates Mandy Moore on Philippines'
version of television's Your Face Sounds Familiar.

Sleeve Shopping

I am a 5'14" tall woman (or a 6'2" guy) and have long arms. I have trouble buying male clothes that have long enough sleeves and buying female clothes with long enough sleeves is even harder!

One workaround is that I tend to buy clothing that is not long-sleeved. Three-quarter sleeve, short sleeve, and sleeveless sleeves are my girlfriends.

Luckily, I have thin arms (for a guy) and do not need sleeves to hide anything. I just have to make sure to remove all the hair and to tan evenly.

But I cannot avoid long sleeves completely. Outerwear for cool and cold weather demand long sleeves and I have to shop long and hard to find what I need.

Size-wise, I am on the borderline of the Misses sizes and Plus sizes. I have found that when shopping for outerwear, I have more success with the smallest Plus sizes than the largest Misses sizes. Plus size outerwear is often larger in the sleeve as well as larger in the body of the outerwear. So, size 14W in outerwear often works for me.

Once in awhile, I luck out. For example, over the years, I had success at Fashion Bug. I have bought dresses and a coat off the rack in Misses size that had adequate sleeve length. But sadly, Fashion Bug went out of business.

Besides Fashion Bug, I have been successful shopping at at JCPenney, Dress Barn, Torrid, and Macy's. More often at JCPenney and Dress Barn, less often at Torrid and Macy's.

Alterations are sometimes an option. I bought my favorite coat (see photo), a three-quarter-length lynx fake fur online from Lane Bryant. It was a beautiful coat and a perfect fit except for the sleeve length, which was way too short. Wearing gloves did not camouflage the problem and I reluctantly prepared to ship it back to Mr. Bryant for a refund.

Before I did so, I noticed that the fake fur did not end at the end of the sleeve. Instead, the fur was folded over into the lining of the sleeve approximately four inches.

I wondered if a tailor or seamstress could do anything with it, so I took my coat to a local seamstress. For $20, she lengthened the sleeves with the fake fur lining and the sleeve length was perfect.

(Caveat Emptor: This is a repurposed post from 2013.)

Wearing Nanette Lepore.

Монро (Monroe), male womenswear model

Your Face's Crowning Glory

This is the seventh in a seven-part series of posts written by Femulate Contributing Editor Susan King of Transitioning into Tomorrow fame. Susan describes how to determine your face shape and then, how to put that information to good use.

Some of us girls are lucky that we can use our own hair when out. I am not one of them.  I have the worst case of male pattern baldness which started while I was in my 20's.. So I am destined to be a wig wearer.

Once I put on my hair, I see my feminine self. My wig makes the outfit and overall look. You can use your hair to change the frame of your face. Wearing the correct wig style with the correct face shape in a must.

Below is a great infographic that shows how different hair style work with different facial shapes. And here is a short and concise video that does a very good job of explaining hairstyles based on your face shape.

New York City street style, Fall 2016.

Scott Baio does his makeup in an 1983 episode of television's The Fall Guy.

Best Brows for Your Face

This is the sixth in a seven-part series of posts written by Femulate Contributing Editor Susan King of Transitioning into Tomorrow fame. Susan describes how to determine your face shape and then, how to put that information to good use.

The correct eyebrow look can make or break the feminine face. An easy male vs. female marker are
the eyebrows. Of course, an Adam's apple and your voice can be easy giveaways, along with poor eyebrow maintenance.

In the 1990's, I did not have the money (raising children) or the time (children dance class and work) to have an electrologist work on my beard, so I had my eyebrows done. Within one year, I had my eyebrows permanently arched.

No one said anything while I had this done. Years later, my youngest daughter stated that she hoped to have eyebrows like mine when she grew up. I just smiled and told her, she probably will.

I really like my eyebrows and use an eyebrow pencil to define them. The correct eyebrow style will define and feminize your face. Matching your eyebrows with your face shape has a tremendous impact.

The chart above shows the best eyebrow shape for your face. Some of the differences are small but its worth it. This short video also does a good job of explaining eyebrow types based on the facial shape.

Wearing Ann Taylor.

This image is from a womanless beauty pageant, probably at the high school level. I posted this image because it reminds me of me at that age. I was overweight and feminine in high school. As a result, I was rejected by females and derided by males. I escaped from that world by visiting the closets of my mother and sister to release the girl in me. If my school had a womanless pageant, I might resemble the girl above and enjoy every minute of the occasion just as she seems to be doing.