Flashback

After penning yesterday's post about my first crossdressing experience, I browsed some womenswear websites and had a flashback when I saw this retro flower dress from Alice + Olivia. Fifty years ago, my sister owned a dress that was very similar and it was one of my favorites... on me, not my sister.

I wore that dress often.

I always wanted to pair it with white go-go boots, but the other ladies in my house did not own go-go boots and I was too closeted in 1967 to go out and buy a pair for myself.

My sister did own a cute bag like the one the model is wearing and I often posed in front of the mirror wearing that dress and bag and a pair of white patent block mid-height block heel shoes instead of go-go boots.

About 40 years later, I did buy a pair of white go-go boots to wear with my "Swinging 60's Chick" Halloween costume, but I have not had an occasion to wear those boots since then.

C'est la vie!

Wearing Madeleine.

Femulating Snow White for Halloween.

Why?

It was 55 years ago, but I recall the day as clearly as if it were yesterday.

I was home alone. Dad was at work. Mom and my sister were out shopping or some such. I went into my parent's bedroom and searched through my Mom's dresser drawers looking for her nylon stockings.

I found the stockings, removed a pair from the drawer and tried them on. I knew how to roll them and then unroll them up my legs because I had seen women do it in movies and on television.

I straightened the seams and then I opened my Mom's closet to look at my legs in the full-length mirror mounted on the inside of the closet door. My hairless legs look very nice in a pair of stockings, but I thought they might look better with a pair of shoes.

I searched through the shoe boxes on the closet floor, found a pair of four-inch high heel pumps and slipped them on my stockinged feet. I looked in the mirror again and was mesmerized by what I saw... not a 12-year-old boy's legs in drag, but an actual pair of shapely woman's legs.

That was the beginning. Soon I was trying on bras, girdles, slips, blouses, skirts, dresses, hats, gloves, earrings, necklaces, bracelets and I even began experimenting with cosmetics whenever I was home alone.

Although I can clearly remember that first crossdressing experience, I have no recollection of what moved me to do it.

At the time, I was not aware that crossdressing was something that people did, so I was not emulating other crossdressers.

I was aware of female impersonators on stage, film and television, that is, men dressing as women for disguise or for entertainment. But back then, I had no plans of being a female impersonator when I grew up, so I should start practicing as soon as possible.

At age 12, I did not think I was a female, so I should dress accordingly.

I have no idea why I tried on that pair of nylons, but I'm glad I did.

Wearing Venus.

Vincent Beier, male womenswear model

Caught

As a teenager, I dressed in my mother's and sister's clothing whenever I was home alone.

One day, I was all dressing up in my parent's bedroom when I heard the garage door open. That meant that my mother and sister had arrived home.

I high-tailed it to my bedroom upstairs, stripped off the feminine attire and returned to boy mode as quickly as possible. Then I stashed the girly stuff in a hiding place so I could return it to its proper place later whenever  the opportunity arose to do so.

Then I went back downstairs as if nothing happened.

"Why are my shoes out?" my mother asked from her bedroom.

Nuts! I forgot to grab her high heels when I high-tailed it upstairs. I had to think quick and come up with an excuse.

One of my hobbies was cartooning, so my excuse was, "I had to draw a high heel shoe and needed a real shoe as a model."

"OK," she replied.

I don't know if she bought my excuse or not, but it was clues like that that made her suspicious. Eventually, she figured out what was going on, but she never let on that she knew.

By the way, the cartoon above is pretty accurate. That dress is the style that my mother wore when I was in my early teens and white gloves were a must, so much so that I always wore white gloves when I femulated back then.

 

 

 

The Bigwood Twins, professional femulating brothers, circa 1930.

 

 

 

Wearing Madeleine.

Teen Pageant

Cheryl e-mailed me links to photos and videos from the 2012 Groovy Teen Pageant, which occurred at Glenvar High School in Salem, VA, on March 2.

Some of the femulations were so good that there may be a few future Miss Universe contestants in that group.

This link includes photos and videos of the pageant. 

This link has photos only. 

An aside...

When I was in school, I was unaware of womanless pageants. And even if I had the opportunity to participate in one, I think I would have been too self-conscious to do so and out myself in the process.

Which reminds me of Spanish class...

In my high school, they held an annual "Spanish Night," costume party for all the students who took Spanish. The theme of the costumes was something Spanish.

One day in class a few days before the party, my Spanish teacher asked me if I was planning on wearing a seniorita costume. I guess she picked up on my femininity and decided to tease me about it.

I had no plans to wear a seniorita costume. Instead, I dressed as a Cuban revolutionary in military fatigues, Ridgeway cap, fake beard, and cigar. My costume was a big hit.

Another boy did show up in bad seniorita drag. He was a shy, quiet kid and I sensed that he regretted his costume choice. I wonder whatever became of him/her.

In My Room

I was a Beach Boys fan (still am). Their Beach Boys Concert was the first LP I ever bought. Eventually, I bought every LP and 45 that they released during their first 15 years of operation.

I liked most of their songs; I knew most of the lyrics by heart, but I was very self-conscious about one song — one of their big hits — In My Room.

If ever there was a song about teen transgender angst, In My Room was it. I am sure Brian Wilson did not have crossdressers in mind when he wrote the song, but almost any youth with gender issues could identify with the lyrics of that song.

There's a world where I can go
and tell my secrets to
In my room
In my room

In this world I lock out
all my worries and my fears
In my room
In my room

Do my dreaming and my scheming lie awake and pray
Do my crying and my sighing laugh at yesterday

Now it's dark and I'm alone
but I won't be afraid
In my room
In my room

In addition to being self-conscious about the song, hearing Brian Wilson singing those lyrics back in the mid-1960s was kind of embarrassing. It was such a "girly" song that you had to wonder what was going on with Brian Wilson (plenty, as it turned out, but nothing gender-related). This was the same guy who sang Surfin' Safari, Little Deuce Coupe, Shut Down, Fun, Fun, Fun, etcetera, etcetera, and now he was singing a song that you would expect a female recording artist to sing!

And his voice was girly, too! It was almost too much for a transgender kid to take.