Just for Halloween?

Hello Stana,

I have a couple of queries regarding your "fancy dress" work appearances (which iI'm guessing is some kind of white-collar environment):

1 - Don't your colleagues ask you (well, at least female ones anyway, as men might think their masulinity and/or sexuality might be questioned in some way if they did): How come you seem to be very good at turning yourself into a woman and enquire as to if there might be a bit more to it than the occasional halloween appearance?

2 - Do all (or even any) of your female colleagues dress so smartly and glamourously for work? I suspect not in this day and age, where even most offices allow casual wear (which means it's far more likely trousers are worn rather than skirts and dresses).

Yours,

Gina V

👠👠👠

Hi Gina,

1 - Believe it or not, no one, male or female, has ever asked. Some have made humorous comments and some have complimented me on my appearance. I can only recall one snarky comment: one fellow wonderers how I just happened to have all the makings of my costume just for Halloween, inferring that I dressed on other occasions, too.  

2 - There were about 15 females in my office (about 60 males). About half the women are engineers or programmers and they dress casually. The other half are office workers and they dress like office girls. Some (like me) dress nicer than others, so I definitely fit in with the office girls.

Halloween is less than three months away. Although I am semi-retired, some of my former co-workers asked if I would visit them en femme on October 31.

I said I would.

Wearing Caroline Constas top, Jonathan Simkhai dress and Giuseppe Zanotti sandals (Source: Intermix)

Fashion blogger Bryan Boy femulates Vogue editor Anne Wintour, Halloween 2014

Sunday Afternoon

One week has passed since my last posting here. Since then, I have received e-mails wondering why the lapse and if I am OK.

I assure you that all is well and I am just enjoying my first care-free summer since 1967.

Two Sundays ago, the other women in this abode attended a bridal shower. I was not invited since the people doing the inviting were not aware that I am a woman, too. So I had the whole afternoon to myself.

It was hot and humid, so I dressed appropriately. Since losing weight, I don't need all the shapewear I needed in the past, which is a blessing in this weather. I just wore a waist cincher to add some curvature to my figure.

I wore my last Dress Barn purchase again because it is perfect for summer weather. It is sleeveless, collarless and made of a light and airy material.

After dressing, but before departing, I took the dogs out to do what they had to do. One pass up and down our long driveway is all that is required, but I have never done it in broad daylight (pun intended). Two cars drove by and since we live on a dead end, they were likely neighbors not not strangers passing through, but I doubt if they recognized me.

My day out was uneventful.

I shopped at a relatively new Dress Barn store and was welcomed by a pretty sales rep, who immediately recognized the dress I was wearing and complimented me on my outfit. I tried on a few things, but I did not find anything that I wanted to buy.

Then I went to my favorite Chinese restaurant where I had dined in boy mode with the family just a few weeks ago. The waiter, who is also the owner and the same person who waited on us during our previous visit, seated me and did not seem to recognize me. He referred me as "Miss" throughout the hour I spent at the restaurant and did not blink an eye when I went to the ladies' room before departing.

I drove home, took the dogs out again and then decompressed after a pleasant Sunday afternoon as my true self.

Wearing Moda Oprandi (Source: Moda Operandi)

Boy-Girl-Boy, Halloween 1978

Workplace Rights

Despite major wins within the LGBTQ community in recent years, many transgender and non-conforming gender individuals feel there’s still a lot more to do in the fight for equality both in and out of the office.

Here is a helpful guide for transgender workers, from new graduates just entering the workforce to seasoned working professionals, as well as employers and hiring managers. Learn more about current transgender workplace rights, how to navigate some of the biggest workplace and job hunting concerns, and see what employers can do to lay the foundation for safe and inclusive work environments.

Transgender and non-conforming gender (TGNC) individuals are protected by policies and laws intended to eliminate harassment and discrimination. While some protections are at the federal level, many states, counties, and cities have their own policies in place. “Protection laws differ from state to state, so it’s important that you check the state in which you work,” notes Dr. Kristie Overstreet, a clinical sexologist and psychotherapist who specializes in transgender identities.

Where I live (Connecticut), we have been protected for some time. My former company had policies in place even before the state and my Human Resources representative was ready and willing to help me to transition into a working woman whenever I was ready. I was also greeted with open arms when I inquired about working as a woman at a local Dress Barn. That's Connecticut and your mileage may vary depending on where you live, so check out the Workplace Guide and see where you stand.

Wearing Ann Taylor (Source: Ann Taylor)

Benjamin Koldyke femulating in television's Work It!

Young and Beautiful

After yesterday's breaking news, I did not bother with the usual Femulatee and Femulator spots. To make up for it, I proffer you nine photos from flickr of an unknown scholastic womanless beauty pageant.

Starla alerted me to the photos. We were both very impressed with the quality of the femulations and suspect that some of the girls may not be civilians.

Without further ado, here are the beauties.

The Girls of Autumn

The "boys of summer" become the "girls of autumn" when they return to school and volunteer to don dresses and high heels for their high school's next womanless event. Whether it be Gender Bender Day, a womanless beauty pageant, Opposite Day, a womanless fashion show, a Cinderfella pageant or even Halloween, there are gurls in civilian clothing willing to put on their frillies for whatever cause comes along, just as Mark Ruth (above) did for the "Miss America" pageant conducted at Wynnewood (Oklahoma) High School in 1974.

Miss Ruth's photo is one of 160 new photos of the girls of autumn uncovered by Starla from online high school yearbooks. I uploaded Starl's new images to flickr where you may view them in two ways:

Method 1: Open one of the Yearbooks sets (A through Z) and you will find the newest uploads at the end/bottom of the set. (The oldest uploads appear at the beginning/top of the set.)

Method 2: Open my photostream and you will find the newest uploads at the top of page 1. The uploads get older as the page numbers get higher with the oldest uploads on the last page.

The contents of the Yearbook A through Z sets are organized according to school name, for example, the photos from Sacred Heart High School would be in the Yearbooks S set.

I hope you enjoy the view. Meanwhile, I am going to slip into a bikini and work on my tan.

Wearing Boston Proper (Source: Boston Proper)

Sylvester portrays a female impersonator in the 1979 film The Rose.

T T-shirt

I love this T-shirt that I saw for sale at zazzle.com. I would have no problem wearing it when I am in girl mode, but I might think twice about wearing it in boy mode.

Wearing Badgley Mischka (Source: Rent the Runway)

Sister and brother, Ria Jones and Ceri Dupree, on the London stage in Mis-Leading Ladies (2015).

Dress Dad for adventure!

"Dress Dad for adventure! Click for great Father's Day deals from Sears" was the subject of an email I received yesterday.

Dress Dad for adventure? I'm thinking a pretty frock, heels and a matching bag!

👠 👠 👠

By popular demand, a number of readers asked to see the outfit I wore Friday evening, so here it is!

Dress from DressBarn, high heel pumps from Payless and scarf from Avon.

Friday was amazing. My ex-managers were so happy to see me presenting as a woman and they could not have been more supportive. If I had ever pulled the trigger and gone to work full-time as a woman, they would have had my back.

👠 👠 👠

No matter how many times I've done it, walking up and down stairs in heels still gives me pause, so it was nice to receive a refresher course from Abby at Vivian Lou. Here is the link!

Wearing Brahmin bag (Source: Brahmin)

Lee Roy Reams femulates Dolly on stage in Hello Dolly (2015).

SaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSave

Girls' Night Out

As I wrote in my previous post, my former manager (X) had promised to take me out to dinner to celebrate my retirement. She also invited another former manager of mine (Y), as well as one of the guys (Chuck) who I have worked with for 20 years. 

I had originally planned to attend the dinner as Stana (both my managers know I am trans), but when I learned that Chuck was joining us, I began reconsidering my en femme plans. Chuck did not know I was trans, although he might have suspected after having seen me en femme at work on Halloween.

With a lot of encouragement from Femulate readers, I finally decided to "damn the torpedoes" and stuck to my original plans to go to dinner en femme.

We had a dinner reservation for 5:30 PM, so I got ready and left for the restaurant at 5 because the Maps app claimed that the restaurant was 20 minutes away. Just as I was ready to go, I received an email from Chuck saying he would not be able to attend the dinner, so we were back to a girls' only night out. This was kind of a letdown because now I was prepared to dine with Chuck and introduce him to Stana. C'est la vie.

I arrived at the restaurant in 20 minutes, parked the car and went inside. I was the first to arrive and was seated at our reserved table in the bar. I ordered a drink and waited for the girls to arrive. 

About 15 minutes later, I saw them enter at the opposite end of the bar and I could see that they were looking around the room trying to find me. As they got closer, I waved and caught their attention. When they recognized who was waving, they both squealed with delight and were so happy to see me presenting as a woman. Any doubts that this was the right thing to do flew out the window.

They both complimented my presentation and admitted that if I had not waved, they would never had found me.

Y asked me if I would have presented as a woman if Chuck had not cancelled. It was kind of a silly question because we only received the news of Chuck's cancellation about an hour before our dinner reservation and there is no way I can switch from boy to presentable girl mode that quickly. As soon as Y asked the question, she realized it was a silly question and gave me a lot of credit for my willingness to meet Chuck as a woman. 

Both of my managers were absolutely wonderful and treated me like another girl and not a guy in a dress. They worked hard to get the pronouns correct and got used to calling me "Stana." There was some trans-related conversation, but it was mostly girl talk about work, marriage, fashion and even sex! 

The food and drink were excellent, but secondary to the evening. The evening was so affirming and a dream come true! I asked them if we could do it again and they both agreed that they would enjoy dining with me again.

The evening ended too quickly and after two hours, we exited to the parking lot where we said our goodbyes. They both hugged me, but as Y hugged me, she planted a real kiss (not an air kiss) on my cheek! 

It was a wonderful evening and I did not want it to end, so when I got home, I even walked the dogs en femme in broad daylight.

Street style, New York City

Alec Mapa femulating in the 1998 film Playing by Heart.

Girls' Night Out... Sort of

Wednesday was my last day at work. I thought about going to work as Stana, but I did not.

The CEO came to my cube about 10 AM to wish me well and that was my cue to get out of Dodge. I turned in my badge, keys and laptop, went around the building to say goodbye to everyone and drove home.

It was all very anti-climatic!

Anyway, my former manager had promised to take me out to dinner when she got back from vacation. I received an email from her Wednesday afternoon saying she was back and had made a reservation for us at a local restaurant for Friday evening. The original plans were to also invite another of my former managers, also female, to join us, which she did. So I was looking forward to joining my two ex-managers for a girls' night out. (Both ex-managers know I am trans.)

But my old boss threw me a curve; she also invited a guy from my workplace, a workplace friend who I have known for 20 years. He has seen Stana on Halloween and jokingly remarked that I was the best looking woman in the building, but I never came out to him like I had to my former bosses. He might have guessed I am trans, but who knows! (I lost count how many times I assumed people thought I was trans and when I came out to them, they said they were clueless.)

So now I was on the fence about going to dinner as Stana. I exchanged emails about my dilemna with Paula and she encouraged me to go as Stana. Then I read yesterday's blog post by the always insightful Joanna and the one-two punch from Paula and Joanna pushed me off the fence, so Stana will be dining this evening.

It should be interesting. The girls have no idea who will show up, but I know Stana's appearance will not surprise them. I am sure that the guy will be very surprised, just as I am sure that everyone in the company will have their suspicions confirmed Monday morning when the story about our dinner gets out.

Who says I lead a boring life!

Wearing Emilia Wickstead (Source: Moda Operandi)

Paolo Ballesteros (left) femulating in the 2016 Filipino film Die Beautiful.

Civilian or Not?

Whenever Starla sends me a new batch of femulator images that she culled from online school yearbooks, I try to pick out the femulators who are not civilians, that is, girls like us and not one-time femulators dressing up for their school's womanless event.

It may be due to all those years operating the trans radar, but there is something about certain womanless participants who give off vibes that they are in it for the long run. And sometimes, there are other clues that confirm those suspicions.

Such is the case with Sean Caufield, whose image (above) was in the latest batch that Starla sent me. She is exquisite! Her hair, makeup and jewelry are perfect. And the extra clues move her out of the civilian realm. The clues I am referring to are her thin eyebrows en femme and en homme and the fact that dressing as a female is her choice for a Halloween costume and is not a femulation for a womanless event. And she is not alone.

I always suspect that something is up when a faculty member femulates along with the students like the student-teacher above, who "shows off his feminine side on Halloween." Does Miss Waugh's perfect wig, cleanly shaved legs, tailored skirt suit or slingback pumps hint that she shows off her feminine side on other occasions? Just wondering.

I was also wondering about Coach Ed (above), who goes by "Edwina" during her frequent forays in frocks, when she successfully passes among her students.

And then there is Matt Garber (above), who "was the only male student to wear make-up to the junior-senior prom," which begs the question: Did other male students attend the prom wearing prom dresses, but without makeup?

Wearing Madeleine (Source: Madeleine)

In honor of my last day at work, here I am the first day I went to work en femme (Halloween 2000).