There’s a scenic road here in New England that I take frequent walks on. It has views of the White Mountains, bucolic fields and stone walls. It’s a popular route and I often meet up or pass others. Most of the ladies’ wear sports bras and I often thought how nice it would be to have my A cup girls held high and tight just like those ladies.
The other day, I was in a thrift shop and came across and beautiful XL Nike sports bra for a bargain price. I couldn’t wait for my morning walk, a pair of black nylon women’s running shorts with small pink logo, a pair of cotton peds with pink trim, light control panty, my brand-new sports bra, and a breast cancer logo baseball cap. I was blurring gender lines just a little bit.
My sports bra felt wonderful going on. I was amazed how everything felt so snug. I felt like all was right in the world. Off I went and enjoyed a beautiful walk.
When I got home, I was a bit sweaty and decided to change and shower. That’s when things got funny. How do I get this thing off? I tries pulling it over my head, but it wouldn’t stretch and the materiel is super strong. I tried to get an arm through, but no luck. Down on my knees bent this way, bent that way, pull here. Oh, now it’s stuck. I can’t move my arm. Ouch, I just punched myself in the face! It’s stuck –what do I do? Call the fire department! Scissors? Ask my wife for help? It took another exhausating 15 minutes, but finally I was free!
Curious if this was my own incompetence in the feminine arts or was this a common problem. I Googled “can’t get off my sports bra” and low and behold, I find a plethora of narratives, videos, memes and jokes about sports bras after a workout. It seems if you want a sports bra that works well, it tends to be one that comes off with great difficulty.
Another rite of passage that I feel honored to have experienced. Guess I’ll watch some more videos and read some tips and tricks, but I am will not give up my sports bra until the fire department has to pry it off my twisted and bent body!
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| Wearing Retrofete |
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| Femulator and friend |
