Call Me “Sissy”

According to my recollection, the first negative word ever hurled at me was “sissy.”

“Sissy,” according to The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, Third Edition, is “a boy or man regarded as effeminate.”

To illuminate that definition, the dictionary defines “effeminate” as “having qualities or characteristics more often associated with women than men; characterized by weakness and excessive refinement.”

Yes – that’s me. The dictionary could print an image of me next to the printed words to illustrate the definition.

The thing is that the first time I was called a sissy, I had no idea that I was one. All I knew was that I was “me” and I was not intentionally emulating females. I did not go out of my way to be a sissy, rather I was just acting naturally. My personality directed me to do things a certain way. The problem was that that way often did not meet the expectations of how a “man” would do things.

When I realized that something was amiss (yeah, me), I began forcing myself to do things the way a “man” does things in order to be accepted in society and not be shunned for being effeminate.

Often, I felt uncomfortable when I forced myself to be a “man.” As time passed, I learned that being accepted in society as a “man” was not worth the effort. So as I grew older and wiser, I forced myself less often and let my personality act naturally more often.

I also began crossdressing more publicly at that time in my life* and my open crossdressing went hand-in-hand with my decision to stop forcing myself to act like a “man.”

I enjoyed dressing as a woman and my normal personality did not conflict with the way I dressed, i.e., I was not a “man in a dress.” Again, this is not an assumption on my part; I have been told more than once that when I crossdress, my personality is a natural fit for the way I am dressed.

I realized that the natural way for me was often the the feminine way, but so what? Why was I forcing myself to be something that I was not? So, I stopped acting like a “man” and instead, acted like “me,” picking and choosing what I liked from the masculine and feminine aisles in that big department store called “Life.”

But the name-calling continued. But I eventually ignored the taunting, learned to embrace my self, and became my own man or should I say “woman.”

Actually, I am somewhere in between. Circumstances prevent me from being a woman all the time. Some of the time, I am a feminine man and some of the time, I am a feminine woman, so you can call me “sissy” – it’s a good fit.

* FYI, I began crossdressing regularly in my early teens, but I had a keen interest in crossdressing much earlier and probably crossdressed for the first time when I was about 8 years old. I crossdressed in public (Halloween) for the first time in my late teens and I crossdressed in public (not Halloween) for the first time in my mid-30s.

Wearing JustFab dress and boots

Vo Tan Phat femulated Blackpink on Vietnamese television's Guong Mat Than Quen.
You can view this femulation on YouTube.
And thank you again, Cheryl, for finding it.

Naturally Effeminate or Naturally a Woman

Recently, I proffered, "Ask me anything" and Pat asked, "Were you naturally effeminate as a kid and ever called a sissy while going to school?"

Yes ― I was naturally effeminate as a kid. I know it was "natural" because at the time, I was not aware that I was effeminate.

I was not intentionally acting effeminate, I was acting as me, myself, and I, and as luck would have it, me, myself and I was very effeminate. So much so that my peers let me know it by calling me names like "sissy," "twinky," "fairy," and worse.

At my first summer job, which was in a very macho environment, my nickname was "Zelda" in honor of my feminine ways.

At another summer job working in the receiving department of a department store where I unpacked and sorted women's clothing all day long, one of my co-workers suggested that it must be my dream job because I got first shot at all the new dresses and lingerie before it went on the floor for sale to the public. He even showed me a private backroom where I could try on the clothing that I might like to purchase.

At my high school graduation, some of the jocks asked aloud why I wasn't wearing a gold-colored graduation cap and gown like the other girls.

In college, the guy in the dorm room next door said I could borrow his girlfriend's bra that she left behind after one of their evening rendezvous.

Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

I never changed my feminine ways even when I figured out what was going on. I knew how to fix the problem, but I rejected manning up and becoming macho because doing so was so incompatible with my nature.

On the other hand, dressing in woman's clothing was a perfect fit. I already acted, moved, and spoke like a woman, so the clothing just completed the picture.

(Caveat Emptor: This is a redo of a 3-year-old post.)

Wearing Self Portrait.

 Italian actress, writer, politician and television host, Vladimir Luxuria

Call Me Sissy

I am on vacation this week, so instead of new original content each day, I will post old original content, also known as "The Best of Femulate."

According to my recollection, the first negative word ever hurled at me was "sissy."

"Sissy" according to The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, Third Edition is "a boy or man regarded as effeminate."

To illuminate that definition, the dictionary defines "effeminate" as "having qualities or characteristics more often associated with women than men; characterized by weakness and excessive refinement."

Yes - that's me. The dictionary could print an image of me next to the printed words to illustrate the definition.

The thing is that the first time I was called a sissy, I had no idea that I was one. All I knew was that I was "me" and I was not intentionally emulating females.

But the name-calling continued. And then there was bullying.

So I figured something was wrong with me and when things really got bad, I eschewed anything feminine.

After things settled down, I went back to my old ways and was myself again comfortably picking and choosing what I liked from the masculine and feminine aisles in that big department store called "Life."

Older and wiser, I eventually ignored the taunting, learned to embrace my self, and became my own man or should I say "woman."

Actually, I am somewhere in between. Circumstances prevent me from being a woman all the time. Some of the time, I am a feminine man and some of the time, I am a feminine woman, so you can call me "sissy;" it's a good fit.

 

 

 

Charlie femulating circa 1910.

 

 

 

Wearing Ryu.

End of Feminine

Jenifer asked, "What do you think will become of femulate, when there is nothing female left to emulate. We all seem to be in jeans and T-shirts these days. As a 40-something girl, I find it very had to pass or blend in with my female counterparts as they are either slobs in leggings and baggy tops or trying hard to be 18 again in skinny jeans and crop tops.  A few of my female friends don't even own a dress or skirt. There is just no elegance left."

I guess this is where we separate the girls from the boys who just want to dress like girls.

The boys who just want to dress like girls will continue to seek out and wear the feminine styles from the last century. In the future, it may become difficult to buy those styles off the rack and the boys will have to resort to buying from specialty shops to buy their dresses, skirts and shoes just like the sissy crowd does today.

On the other hand, the girls will dress like cisgender girls no matter what cisgender girls are wearing. That is, to a point; tastes vary and some girls will not wear certain styles no matter how popular they may be. And whether all girls will abandon "feminine" styles completely remains to be seen.

Personally, I have yet to femulate in jeans and a baggy top because I seldom femulate in scenarios calling for very casual wear. However, if I lived full-time as a girl, I am sure jeans and baggy tops would be a part of my wardrobe.

And for what it is worth, I have shopped for women's jeans, but could not find any that fitted properly. Also, I do own and wear woman's slacks in a variety of styles, so I do not shun bifurcated womenswear per se.

 

   

Actor Sean Bean femulates in British television’s Accused, 2012.

 

Wearing Equipment (sweater), Current/Elliott (pants), Rag & Bone (belt),
Diane von Furstenberg (shoes) and Golden Lane (clutch).

Naturally Effeminate (or Naturally a Woman)

I proffered, "Ask me anything" and Pat asked, "Were you naturally effeminate as a kid and ever called a sissy while going to school?"

Yes - I was naturally effeminate as a kid. I know it was "natural" because at the time, I was not aware that I was effeminate.

I was not intentionally acting effeminate, I was acting as me, myself, and I, and as luck would have it, me, myself and I was very effeminate. So much so that my peers let me know it by calling me names like "sissy," "twinky," "fairy," and worse.

At my first summer job, which was in a very macho environment, my nickname was "Zelda" in honor of my feminine ways.

At another summer job working in the receiving department of a department store where I unpacked and sorted women's clothing all day long, one of my co-workers suggested that it must be my dream job because I got first shot at all the new dresses and lingerie before it went on the floor for sale to the public. He even showed me a private backroom where I could try on the clothing that I might like to purchase.

At my high school graduation, some of the jocks asked aloud why I wasn't wearing a gold-colored graduation cap and gown like the other girls.

In college, the guy in the dorm room next door said I could borrow his girlfriend's bra that she left behind after one of their evening rendezvous.

Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

I never changed my feminine ways even when I figured out what was going on. I knew how to fix the problem, but I rejected manning up and becoming macho because doing so was so incompatible with my nature.

On the other hand, dressing in woman's clothing was a perfect fit. I already acted, moved, and spoke like a woman, so the clothing just completed the picture.

 

British television personality Louis Walsh femulates British television personality Cheryl Cole.

 

Wearing Cheryl Cole.

Sissy No More

What’s “feminine” anyway?

Man Carrying Purse

Whenever I recount my trans biography (like at outreach), I usually mention that as a youngster, I participated in sports (baseball and football) and played "boy games" (cowboys, war, spacemen, etc.). I felt that I was a typical boy and I enjoyed doing "boy things," unlike many of my trans sisters, who as children, hated "boy things" and preferred "girl things."

I also mention in my bio that despite my participation and enjoyment of those boy things, other boys called me names like "sissy," "fairy," "faggot," etc., which indicated to me that I was not necessarily all the boy I thought I was.

This was not just a case of bullies using random offensive names to raise my ire. Even a few of my friends told me that I was not acting like a boy at a 100% level and that I should do something about it.

I wondered if there was something in my mannerisms or speech that caused their reaction? I was not intentionally acting or speaking in an affected manner. Rather, I was speaking and acting in my natural manner, which I did not feel was feminine.

The fact that even friends told me that something was amiss indicated that something really was amiss, but I was clueless. I had no idea what I had to do differently to be more boy-like. So, I continued acting the same way I always acted and if someone called me a name, I hit them with my purse.

Even in high school, college, and law school, I occasionally ran into guys, who commented on my particular flavor of masculinity, but I just shrugged them off and kept on truckin'. By then, I was crossdressing in secret and only coming out en femme for Halloween including an appearance in drag at a Halloween party in law school.

I will never forget a friend of mine at that party telling me that he never realized how feminine my speaking and mannerisms were until he saw me in drag. He indicated that my female costume was a perfect fit for my normal mannerisms and speech.

After mentioning this story at outreach one time, one of the students said that my mannerisms were feminine and that my friends and acquaintances had been in the ballpark in their estimation of me.

Yet, nothing has changed. I still do not affect a feminine persona. I still act naturally and no differently whether in boy mode or girl mode.

I admit that I do try to walk more like a woman when I am en femme and I talk more softly when I femulate, but most of what you get is the genuine me. And I am not changing a thing.

Call Me Sissy

According to my recollection, the first negative word ever hurled at me was "sissy."

"Sissy" according to The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, Third Edition is "a boy or man regarded as effeminate."

To illuminate that definition, the dictionary defines "effeminate" as "having qualities or characteristics more often associated with women than men; characterized by weakness and excessive refinement."

Yes - that's me. The dictionary could print an image of me next to the printed words to illustrate the definition.

The thing is that the first time I was called a sissy, I had no idea that I was one. All I knew was that I was "me" and I was not intentionally emulating females.

But the name-calling continued. And then there was bullying.

So I figured something was wrong with me and when things really got bad, I eschewed anything feminine.

After things settled down, I went back to my old ways and was myself again comfortably picking and choosing what I liked from the masculine and feminine aisles in that big department store called "Life."

Older and wiser, I eventually ignored the taunting, learned to embrace my self, and became my own man or should I say "woman."

Actually, I am somewhere in between. Circumstances prevent me from being a woman all the time. Some of the time, I am a feminine man and some of the time, I am a feminine woman, so you can call me "sissy;" it's a good fit.