Six Months Left to do Your Christmas Shopping

 

Wearing Boston Proper

Vincent McDoom

Stuff: Thoughts from Abroad

By J.J. Atwell

Abroad?

Did you think this was going to be about me referring to myself as “a broad?” Sorry to disappoint. Instead, I’d like to relate some observations from a recent trip abroad – observations about women’s styles of course. 

There is a Different Aesthetic

My trip included England and Norway. A couple of places that are similar, but very different. I’d also allow that the places I visited were more touristy, but did include some regular locations, with regular people, as well. 

Perhaps the most interesting thing I noticed was that the professional women I saw were frequently wearing skirts and hose – very stylish outfits for sure. The fact that they were wearing hose was the odd thing for me. You see, JJ lives in the south where the temperatures are pretty high. So we seldom see women wearing hose. It’s just too hot for that. But I understand the bare leg look is not uncommon at all even in the big northern cities in the USA. 

As an aside, when getting ready for one of JJ’s group meetings, I went looking for some dark pantyhose. It wasn’t an easy search. There were few options available here where the weather is hot almost all the time. It seems like here in the USA that the regularity of women wearing hose is fading away. Perhaps, Europe is behind the curve here.

Other Differences?

Yes, I noticed interesting styles. Especially in Norway where much of what was for sale was targeted more to the colder climates. Not surprising, you say. Well yes, except that the weather while we were there was in the upper 70’s and low 80’s. So obviously there should be a market for some lighter wear. Also, lots of clothing in Norway were knitted with interesting, intricate patterns. 

Sizes are also a bit different. It seems that it’s hard to find things in larger sizes when abroad. Marked sizes are only an indication of what the garment might be. In the US we often hear the term “Vanity Sizing.” That’s the practice of making clothing larger than the standard size or marking it one size smaller. That way people can proudly say they are a size 8 when in reality they are a 10. Or a 12. 

I noticed however that sizing in Norway especially seems to run pretty small. An XL size there might be equivalent to a M or L in the US. If you go shopping abroad be sure to hold up the clothing to get a better idea if it will actually fit. 

I’ll admit that most of the women I noticed were younger and perhaps my impressions are just my old, male bias showing through. But I did come away from the trip with a different perspective on style abroad. Maybe it is simply differences in the environment or climate in the places I visited. People adapt their clothing to suit where they live. 

I’ll Be Back

I’ll be back with more Stuff in the next installment. Comments are welcome either here on the blog or by email to Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com. JJ is always looking for more stuff so let me know what you would like to read about.

Wearing Nine West

Sture Lagerwall femulating in the 1934 Swedish film Adventures At The Hotel
(Äventyr på hotell).

His New Look

Wearing Cynthia Rowley

Veit Alex, male womanswear model

Breaking Ties

 

Wearing Madeleine

Meg of Call Me Meg fame

Yet Another Hemline Ha Ha

Wearing Cynthia Rowley

Ben Sander femulating on television’s The Brini Maxwell Show. 

Trans-cationing

Where is the best place for a crossdresser to vacation in the USA?

If you're a crossdresser looking for a welcoming and inclusive vacation spot in the USA, here are some great options.

San Francisco, California: Known for its LGBTQ+ community, San Francisco offers a vibrant atmosphere, Pride events, and supportive resources .

New York City, New York: With a rich history and a diverse community, NYC is a fantastic choice for crossdressers. Explore the city's nightlife and embrace your identity.

Portland, Oregon: A must-visit in the Pacific Northwest, Portland is known for its progressive mindset and LGBTQ-friendly environment.

Providence, Rhode Island: Providence offers excellent resources and a welcoming atmosphere for trans individuals.

Atlanta, Georgia: Atlanta's LGBTQ+ scene is thriving, making it a great destination for crossdressers.

Remember to check local LGBTQ+ travel sites for specific recommendations and events!

Outside the USA?

When it comes to transgender-friendly vacation destinations outside the USA, there are several great options to consider.

Greece (Greek Islands): The Greek Islands, including Mykonos and Santorini, are known for their LGBTQ+ acceptance and vibrant nightlife. Enjoy beautiful beaches, historic sites and a welcoming atmosphere.

Gran Canaria, Spain: This Canary Island is a popular destination for LGBTQ+ travelers. It offers stunning beaches, lively nightlife and a diverse community.

Amsterdam, Netherlands: Amsterdam is renowned for its open-minded culture, Pride events, and LGBTQ+ scene. Explore the city's canals, museums and friendly cafes.

Berlin, Germany: Berlin is a hub for LGBTQ+ culture with numerous bars, clubs and events. Visit historical sites, art galleries and experience the city's inclusive vibe.

Bangkok, Thailand: Bangkok has a thriving LGBTQ+ scene especially in the Silom district. Enjoy street food, temples and exciting nightlife.

Remember to research local laws and customs and consider safety precautions when planning your trip. If you’re looking for a tailor-made luxury vacation, reach out to travel experts who specialize in LGBTQ+ travel for personalized recommendations.

Wearing Halston

Wilson Cruz femulating in a 1997 episode of television’s Aly McBeal.

Yes, Yes, Yes

By Paula Gaikowski

“Yes, yes, yes,” to quote Meg Ryan in Harry Met Sally, that’s what I said when I read Stana’s post about “Why.” It really struck home. It is so true!

Our brains appear to be inherently wired to release a surge of dopamine or endorphins whenever we immerse ourselves in or identify with, femininity or womanhood.

We can all relate to that magical moment when we finally gaze into the mirror and see a woman staring back at us. Similarly the feeling of having a door opened for us or when we’re referred to as “ma’am” or “miss,” this can be an empowering experience.

“Gender euphoria” refers to the positive and affirming feelings that individuals experience when their gender identity aligns with their perceived or expressed gender. It is the opposite of gender dysphoria, which involves discomfort or distress that arises when an individual’s gender identity does not align with the sex assigned to them at birth or with societal expectations. It’s important to note that individuals may have different experiences and not everyone uses or experiences the concept of gender euphoria in the same way.

When considering gender euphoria, it’s commonly associated with transgender individuals. However, it’s important to note that cisgender people also experience gender euphoria in similar ways. Women experience the same feelings that we do when they feel pretty or feminine. They too get that shot of dopamine!

I wrote an article titled “Feeling Pretty and Gender Euphoria.” It showcased responses from women who were asked about what made them feel pretty and feminine. Many women shared similar experiences, revealing that activities like putting on makeup, wearing a pretty dress, or indulging in self-care were sources of joy. These natural inclinations are often stigmatized for crossdressers or transgender individuals despite mirroring common practices embraced by women.

I’ll extend the theory to suggest that there’s a shared element in the brains of cisgender females and ours. It’s like a spot or script, that when ignited creates a desire for feminine identification and validation. Basically, both women and transgender women have a part of their brain that’s wired to be female. I call it a ”spot” or a “script.” This part pushes them to express their femininity. Transgender women and cisgender women are alike in this aspect, showing that we all share this common thread in our brains.

Alone in an empty house, we were driven down the hallway, our confusion and curiosity piqued by the allure of our mother’s stockings and our sister’s high heels.

The question is: Where does this spot come from? Why do we have it and why don’t others? 

I'm a baby boomer and during those years, many women, including my 40-year-old mother, used a drug called DES (synthetic estrogen). As a fetus, I was immersed in a sea of estrogen, 1000 times the normal amount. Some transgender individuals believe this could be a cause, and I tend to think it might be for me, too. Does it really matter? Yes, no, but it’s certainly comforting to have a community where we can discuss and support each other on these topics.

The “where” and “why” of this spot in our brains can wait for another day. Right now my skirt, sweater, pantyhose, Rago lingerie and pair of cute pumps wait for me. I’m on my way to savor a day of being a girl. The tap of my heels, the makeup, the gentle nods of acknowledgment – that's my focus. No need to analyze, just relish. 

As Meg Ryan would say, "Yes, yes, yes" to enjoying the simple joy of embracing my femininity. Today, the only agenda is to revel in being a girl and let the why’s fade into the background.

Wearing BeautBoutique

Progress

Got out Wednesday and wore my new plaid blazer dress fromVenus and new black “Sort” high heels from Nine West. I like it when I wear new, but it was cold and windy, so I topped my new outfit with my vintage white fake fur jacket from Fashion Bug (remember them?).

Met Diana and Sylvia for lunch at Viron Rondo Osteria in Cheshire, Connecticut. The place was packed – lots of people doing lunch to celebrate the holidays. 

We three were seated at a table that could seat many more people and shortly after our food arrived, the manager came by and asked us if we would be willing to move to another table because she had erred and had a party of 19 lined up for our table. To entice us, she offered us free drinks and free desserts, so we happily took her up on her offer.

It was nice to be out en femme again.

After all these years going out among the civilians, I noticed something new during my recent outings. I no longer check to see if civilians are noticing me. That’s progress. (And it’s nice to know that at my age, I can still progress!)

Wearing ShopBop

Steven Weber femulating on television’s The Comedians.

Everything I Know About Wigs Continued

My previous post described everything I know about buying wigs. In this post, I will describe everything I know about wearing and maintaining wigs.

Before I get to that, I should have mentioned yesterday that I don’t know a lot about real hair wigs because I never owned one. I do know they are more expensive than synthetic wigs and they are high maintenance. 

Now on with the show.

Wearing a Wig

Not too much to say about wearing a wig. 

If it is the right size for your head, it should stay on your head. All those tales about the wind blowing a wig off some poor femulator’s head are mostly just tales. I recall walking around the UCONN campus on a very windy day – so windy that it blew off one of my clip-on earrings, but it did not bother my wig. It did mess up my coiffure, but ny wig stayed in place.

Swimming is another matter. I recall a friend, who shall remain nameless, losing her wig while swimming in the ocean.

Like real hair, you can use hair spray on your wig to keep every hair in place. But unless you have a real human hair wig, do not use human hair spray – it can ruin a synthetic wig. Instead, use a hair spray made for synthetic wigs. 

Put a Cap Under It

As a novice femulator, I always wore a wig cap under my wig. Not sure why. Other wig wearers wore wig caps, so I assumed they knew what they were doing and I just followed their lead. I thought that maybe it helped hide your real hair (if you had any), but I was never sure.

Large cap size head that I have, most wig caps were too tight and left red welts on my forehead. Occasionally, a tight wig cap would give me a headache, too. Also, wig caps added an extra layer underneath the wig, which cooked my head and resulted in perspiration especially in the warmer weather. Sweat running down loads of makeup did not make for a pretty picture.

The last straw was when a tight wig cap worked its way off my head and ended up all balled-up under my wig! After that, I swore off wig caps and since then, I had no more wig cap welts, headaches and perspiration. And my wigs did not notice the difference – they stayed in place and did not stray from my head.

There are some benefits to wearing a wig cap. You can read about them here, but they do not apply to me and I will remain wig capless ’til the day I dye.

Caring for Your Wig

Like real hair, a wig gets dirty and should be shampooed after a few wearings. I usually clean my wigs after three or four wearings – sooner if I used hair spray.

And like hair spray, don’t use human hair shampoo to clean a synthetic wig. Use a synthetic wig shampoo. In a pinch, I have also used liquid Woolite® to shampoo my wigs. 

Detangle the wig with a wide tooth comb before shampooing it. Then fill a sink basin with cold water, add the shampoo, add the wig and swish it around in the basin for a few minutes, then let it be for a few more minutes. 

Drain the basin, refill it with cold water and swish the wig around in the cold water to remove the soapy water (three to five minutes should do the trick unless it’s a long wig). Drain the water, lift the wig out of the basin and hold it over the basin to let the excess water drip off. Wrap a towel around the wig to sop up more water, but don’t wring out the towel/wig to remove more water and don’t use a hair dryer on a synthetic wig (you’ll melt it). 

Don’t take a comb to a wet wig. Instead, hang the wig somewhere to dry – like on a wig stand (I usually hang it on my shower head) – and it will dry overnight or sooner. When dry, just shake it out and it should return to its original shape if it’s a synthetic wig. Only then, use a wide tooth comb to neaten it up if necessary. 

When your wig is not on your head, you should store it carefully. A wig stand is the perfect way to store your wig. But I own own lots of wigs and just don’t have the room for a wig stand for each of my wigs. So I resorted to storing my wigs in a dresser drawer. I simply lay the wigs flat in the drawer, usually on top of other wigs that are laying flat in the drawer. 

Some say to turn the wig inside-out when storing it this way, but I don’t see any advantage to that. It just means more work styling the wig when you are ready to wear it. So I just lay the wigs flat in the drawer au natural and they seem to get along fine.

That’s All, Folks

That covers it as far as what I know about wigs. If you have any questions, I will gladly answer them; just e-mail your questions to stana-stana at-sign sbcglobal.net  

Warning: I have no formal training in the femulating arts. However, I do have over 50 years experience practicing those arts and have become so adept at them that I pass more often than not.

Wearing Rue La La

Michael Cavadias femulating in the 2000 film Wonder Boys.

Getting Fit at Vicky's

Stephanie wrote, "Being a larger woman I have problems purchasing the right size bra. The bras max out at 38 for the Victoria's Secrets Bombshell styles. Has that been a problem for most gals or do they deal with a tight fit? I just wanted to know if you have heard from any other women out there? Being shy and trying to get the right size would involve a fitting."

I replied, "A bra fitting would be the best way to find the right size. My niece worked at Victoria's Secret for awhile and the saleswomen were used to fitting both men and women, so don't be shy – go for it, girl!"

Stephanie wrote back a few days later.

I did take your advice and went to Vicky's for a bra fitting. I got the courage up and to this day, I don't know where I got the courage to go in, but I was fed up with ordering bras online only having to return them because the were uncomfortable or I just didn't like the way they looked.

I needed something that made my girls stand out when wearing any of my low-cut dresses and tops and would last all day or through the night if I need them to. I hate tape method and the stick-on strapless would not hold up the whole day and I just don't want to have to deal with having to go through all the trouble. 

I like that you have so much experience and great advice, so I took your advice and went into a Victoria's Secret to have a salesperson size a Bombshell pushup bra and get something that fits me. I picked a Monday morning to visit the mall figuring that I would get in and out before the mall traffic picked up and I could work one-on-one with one of the sales ladies. I'm not passable and I didn't want the added anxiety of trying to femulate and pass along with the bra fitting, so I went in boy mode. 

The mall was empty and when I got Vicky's, there was nobody inside. I walked up to an older sales lady. When I mean "older," she was well into her 30's maybe early 40's. She seemed friendly enough and experienced.

I asked if I can get fitted for a bra. She said of course and had me follow her to the back of the store where there is a sectioned off area just for this purpose. 

Funny how matter of fact she was – like this happens all the time. Turns out that it does as I found out later. 

I thought that once I got past the initial asking part, the rest would be easier and it was! She was extremely helpful and found the right bra. 

During the fitting, we talked about other men coming in and she said that she waits on at least one or two men a week, understands it completely and was willing to help me anytime. She also said that I could call the store and ask for her and she would be more than happy to pull merchandise for me to pick up discretely when I can. 

I purchased several pairs of panties and two great fitting bras that work as well as you have described – one more step towards feeling and looking like the woman I am. 

It is so wonderful having someone with experience sharing advice for us who struggle at times. Although It was a nervous experience at first, I am relieved. 

Now on to the makeup counter!

Source: Bluefly

Womanless beauty pageant contestant

Excuse Me

Excuse me for not posting on a daily basis this week, but life got in the way.

Last Friday, I woke up to 12 inches of new snow on my 120-foot driveway. Not a big deal except that the temperature was hovering around 0 degrees Fahrenheit. So I bundled up and got the job done in less than two hours.

After I got the snowblower and shovels back in the garage, I closed the garage door and (Bang!) the garage door spring broke. It is a two-car wide garage door and weighs so much that it is impossible to raise it without the spring.

My daughter and I managed to raise the door with the assistance of the electric garage door opener so we could get the cars out of the garage, but that was such an intensive two-person operation that we were resigned to not using the garage door until the spring could be replaced. So instead of using the garage door for the majority of our entrances and exits from the house, we had to use the front door.

Saturday was ever colder than Friday and when we returned home after dining with some friends, I snapped the key off in the dead bolt lock when I tried to unlock the front door. We got into the house with a spare key through the back door and I unlocked the dead bolt lock manually from inside. The front door has two locks, so we could still use it the door, but I needed to get the dead bolt lock fixed.

By end of day Saturday, I had three calls into garage door repairmen and one call into a locksmith.

The locksmith showed up early Tuesday morning and spent 45 minutes unsuccessfully trying to remove the broken key from the lock. He figured that it was frozen and suggested that I soak the lock in WD-40, then try to get the key out myself and reassemble the lock. He warned me about being careful if I had to disassemble the lock works in order to get the broken key out because the works might "explode."

Midday Monday, a garage door repairman showed up. He said he had to order a replacement spring and would be back late Tuesday or early Wednesday to install it.

Meanwhile, I had to go out and buy a can of WD-40 because I had used up the last can. About 2 PM, I filled a small cup with WD-40 and began soaking the lock works. At 6 PM, I checked to see how the soaking was going. The lock works still seemed frozen. The broken key did not seem any looser than when I started the soaking.

I figured that the only was to get the key out was to disassemble the works. So I stuck the works in a vise and tried removing the lock works cap with a pair of pliers. It took a few attempts, but I finally got the cap unfrozen. But the key was still not moving, so I slowly removed the cap and the lock works "exploded" with pieces of the works flying all over the garage!

The broken key was now free, but I had to spend the next 90 minutes on my hands and knees in an ice-cold garage gathering up all the pieces of the exploded lock works.

After consulting the Internet, I realized that I could not reassemble the lock works without some sort of jig, so Wednesday morning, I phoned the locksmith and he told me to bring the parts to his shop and he would reassemble the works. I immediately brought the parts to his shop and he reassembled the works. I went home to reassemble the lock in the front door.

Meanwhile, the garage door repairman called and said he would be showing up around noon Wednesday to repair the garage door spring, which he did.

I forgot to mention that our big screen LED TV died a few days earlier!

And so it goes!

Wearing JustFab (Source: JustFab)

Except for the three women in the foreground, all the women in this scene are femulating actors in the 1990 film The Witches. (Thank you, Zoe for this femulation.)