Fantasia Fair First-Timer

Bandy was the resident canine at The Chicago House B&B 
in Provincetown, where I stayed while attending Fantasia Fair. 
She spent a lot of time resting on a couch in the B&B’s 
common area. Whenever I saw her, I would visit with her for 
a few minutes and rub the back of her ears – we became fast 
friends. While I was posing for photos before going out on Friday
evening, Bandy was off the couch for the first time in my memory 
and walked over to me. She wanted me to rub her ears and I 
happily complied while Melissa photographed the event.

After attending Fantasia Fair for the first time, the folks running the event sent attendees a questionnaire asking about our experiences attending the Fair. The questions and my answers appear below.

Attending Fantasia Fair was a great experience – so much so that I attended three more times and wrote a book about it. I intended to attend this year, but the Fair was cancelled because of the Trump Virus. So I will have to wait ’til next year to attend again.

On to the questionnaire...

What did you expect going to Fantasia Fair and how did it work out for you? 

Before going to Fantasia Fair, I read everything I could get my hands on about the event, so my expectations were that Provincetown was a very diverse and trans-friendly locale and that I would have the run of the town without having any worries. In general, my expectations were fulfilled, although I did feel nervous walking along around town late at night.

Anything funny happen?

Thursday evening, we were on our own for dinner, so a bunch of us went to the Lobster Pot to dine. As we entered the dining room, a civilian woman noticed us, so she alerted all the people at her table about our presence and they began craning their necks to get a good look. Five days in, I was sick and tired of tourists gawking at trans-ladies, so I waved at the table of gawkers using my girliest limp-wristed wave. Their mouths went agape and they quickly stuck their heads back in their menus.

Was Fantasia Fair special for you and why? Or why not? 

Fantasia Fair was special to me because it gave me the opportunity to experience being en femme for an extended period of time (seven days).

What presentation or talk was most meaningful and why?

Sandra Cole's group meeting for girls attending without their SO’s (significant others) was worth the price of admission. My SO was not very supportive about me attending Fantasia Fair and without her approval, it made me feel guilty (as do other things I do en femme). In a nutshell, Sandra made me realize that despite my wife’s lack of support, I must be true to myself and do things en femme occasionally.

For 1st timers... what did you learn that was important to you? 

Having attended a few long weekend trans-events in the past, I looked forward to the opportunity to be en femme 24/7 for seven days instead of three days. After seven days en femme, I reached a new level. I stopped thinking about the fact that I was en femme and began living like a woman. All the techniques I used to be en femme became second nature; I did not have to think about using those techniques because they were now natural. I believe that during Fantasia Fair, I came as close to being a natural woman as I could be and I hope that that second nature will stick with me forever.

What did you like about PTown?

Provincetown is very picturesque and most of the civilians I encountered were trans-friendly (or so clueless that they did not realize I was en femme). Most of the restaurants were excellent and during my 7-day stay, I think I had only one meal that was disappointing.

and not like about PTown?

Gawking tourists, cobblestone sidewalks and businesses that were closed for the season or open for limited hours.

Would you attend again?

Absolutely (budget-depending).

Is there anything you might change or add?

I would replace the cobblestone sidewalks with shag carpeting.

Wearing Venus

Stephen Riddle femulating in the British film Adventures of A Taxi Driver.
You can view the film on YouTube – the femulation begins at the 1:04:30 mark.

Worn-Out Workshops

2013 True Colors Conference presenter

A friend returned from Fantasia Fair and reported that her workshop had only two attendees. Been there, done that.

Over the years, I’ve conducted about 25 workshops and a few times, only a couple of people showed up. On the other hand, a few times the attendance was standing room only.

Usually, the attendance is somewhere in between. Oddly, the topics of my workshops don’t vary much, so attendance (or lack thereof) must be due to other factors. 

I am sure that the description of the workshop appearing in the event’s program makes a difference.

One time, the description I provided was something like “how to femulate successfully.” The intended audience were students and attendance was poor. After all, how many kids read a blog written by an old white lady – so they were clueless as to what “femulate” meant? Next time, the description I provided was something like “how to crossdress successfully.” Same intended audience, but attendance was SRO. 

Another factor is the competition.

Are there a lot of workshops in your time slot, thus your potential audience has too many to choose from. Or are the workshops in your time slot sexier than your workshop and likely to attract a bigger crowd than yours?

I think my friend at Fantasia Fair had too much competition. There was a potential audience of about 100 attendees, while there were four workshops scheduled in her time slot. In addition to the competition from three other workshops, her workshop had to compete with all the extracurricular activities that Cape Cod has to offer. Unless you are Caitlyn Jenner, you have to work hard to attract a crowd in that situation.

My best showing at Fantasia Fair was when I had the “Femulate Blog Party.” I advertised it here in the blog everyday for weeks beforehand and as a result, about 15 people showed up. (My other Fantasia Fair presentations were less successful attendance-wise.) 

My friend added, “I don't think workshops are that important now. Not sure what is.”

She has a point. You can find lots of the topics covered by workshops on the Internet for free, so who needs to slog to a trans convention.

Are events like Fantasia Fair, First Event, Keystone Conference, Southern Comfort, etc. becoming more social events and less venues where you can learn something. Who needs another “how to crossdress successfully” workshop?

I guess I have been around the block a few times too many and I don’t need no stinkin’ workshops. But I still attend workshops – more to socialize than to learn. Afterall, I am at a trans conference, so I might as well fill the time by attending a few workshops.

On the other hand, novices will probably get more by attending live workshops than by viewing the same on the Internet. It is one thing to view “how to crossdress successfully” from the safety of your closet. It is another thing to get all dressed up and attend the same workshop in person en femme.

Until I attended my first convention, I was pretty much closeted only going out en femme to attend my support group’s bi-monthly meetings. By attending conventions in hotels filled with civilians, I slowly built up my confidence and eventually I was able to go anywhere I desired without a net. Not sure how much the workshops helped, but attending conventions sure made a difference.

By the way, it is that time of year when I can submit workshop proposals for two local conferences that occur early next year: True Colors and Transgender Lives. Not sure I want to do “how to crossdress successfully” again. Not sure there is even a need for “how to crossdress successfully.”

Let me ask you: If you were attending a conference, what would you like to hear me workshop about?

Wearing Veronica Beard

Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka femulate the Olsen twins at Heidi Klum's 2019 Halloween party

Unfair

Hometown, not Provincetown

I just realized Sunday afternoon that Fantasia Fair is this week.

In the past, I looked forward to attending or I was a Sad Sack because I was not attending. In either case, I was well aware when Fantasia Fair was occurring.

Attending this year did not cross my mind, so its dates were not important to me.

After four trips to Fantasia Fair, I’ve seen it all (and I wrote the book about it). The only reason I would attend today would be to see friends and enjoy the town. Few (if any) members of that old gang of mine still attend, so that puts the kibosh on the first reason to go. And the weather typically stinks during Fantasia Fair, so if I want to enjoy Provincetown, I would pick a better time of the year weather-wise to visit, so that puts the kibosh on the second reason.

And so it goes.

Wearing StyleWe

2018 Fantasia Fair attendees

Plugging Fantasia Fair

We almost lost Fantasia Fair.

Last fall, there were stories and rumors swirling around about Fantasia Fair's imminent demise. I will not repeat any of them here because I don't know which stories are true and which are false, but the bottom line was that Fantasia Fair was folding its tent after the their long run as the longest running transgender event in this neck of the woods. We lost so many other transgender events the last few years, losing Fantasia Fair would be the another big blow to our community.

Fantasia Fair is unique. Most other transgender events take place in a hotel. Some of those events sponsor quick trips out among the civilians, but most of the time, the attendees are cooped up in the host hotel for a long weekend.

Fantasia Fair is eight days a week. And instead of being stuck in a hotel, attendees live and breathe out among the civilian population of Provincetown, Massachusetts. The whole town is our oyster and is completely supportive of the girls and boys in attendance.  

The good news is that Fantasia Fair regrouped. The event has been saved and will be back in its groove from October 14 to October 21. They even have a fresh new website where you can learn all about the event and sign up to attend yourself.

By the way, I want to thank the folks behind the new website for mentioning my book, Fantasia Fair Diaries, which recounts my experience attending the Fair. Read the book and it will whet your appetite to become a future Fan Fair attendee.

Wearing Diane von Furstenberg (Source: DVF.com)

Abby, Brigitte, Ethan, Stana and Jan at Fantasia Fair in 2010

No Fantasia Fair for Me

On Sunday, a sister blogger wrote, "While I’m packing for Fantasia Fair this week some random thoughts…"

It takes me at least a week to pack for Fantasia Fair, so I took her comment to mean that she will be packing this week for Fantasia Fair, which is next week.

Monday morning, I woke up and smelled the coffee. I looked at the calendar and realized that she actually meant that Fantasia Fair is this week!

A couple of things threw me off.

She posted on Sunday that she was packing, but on Sunday she should be in her car on her way to Provincetown (or already there) and not home packing. 

The other thing that threw me off is that being semi-retired, I am not as calendar aware as I was when I was working. (What day is it?)

Anyway, Fantasia Fair is this week and I will not be attending. I will miss the sights and sounds of Provincetown and I will miss my friends who will be attending.

I thought about driving to Provincetown (it's a four-hour trip), spend a day or two during the Fair to meet up with my friends and take in the events that are open to the public. But that takes a little planning and obviously, since I did not even remember that the Fair was this week, I did not plan ahead.

In the past, I had a wonderful time at Fantasia Fair and I am sure I would have a good time if I attended again.

Maybe next year!

(If you would like to find out more about Fantasia Fair, I recommend my book Fantasia Fair Diaries.)

Wearing Ralph Lauren

A young male femulates Sailor Moon Jupiter.

Shopping at Fantasia Fair

I just received an email from a reader who plans to attend Fantasia Fair for the first time. She is excited about being able to shop for clothing while en femme in Provincetown.

Well, I hate to rain on her parade, but clothes shopping in Provincetown during Fantasia Fair is usually disappointing.

Since it is "off-season" or the "end-of-the-season," depending on whom you ask, some of the stores are closed for the year, while the stores that are still open are open on a limited schedule (reduced hours and/or reduced days like Thursday through Sunday or less).

While there may be end-of-the-season sales at the stores that are still open, it is so end-of-the-season that everything is picked over. All that is left is stuff that nobody else wants and not necessarily in sizes for girls like us.

So be forewarned.

Wearing Kendra Scott earrings (Source: WhoWhatWear)

A 1965 womanless wedding in the UK.

I Go

I asked, "Should I stay or should I go?"

Your overwhelming response was that I should go.

So, thanks to your encouragement, I decided to go to Fantasia Fair.

I just made reservations at my favorite B&B and will be landing in Provincetown on Monday, October 17, and departing, Saturday, October 22.

I hope I will see some of you in P-Town in two months!

Wearing Michelle Mason.

All male cast of As You Like It, University of Maine, 1907

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Just finishing two weeks' vacation.

It was wonderful taking two weeks off back-to-back. I have not done that in a long time, but with so much vacation time on my hands, I figured, "Why not!"

I mostly hung around town. I did some home repairs that I have put off doing for years. Otherwise, I did not do much. I didn't even do much blogging, as you may have noticed. t was very relaxing.

My wife had a birthday during my vacation, so I took her shopping. We went to my favorite store, Dress Barn, and I bought her whatever she wanted. It was the Dress Barn nearest my home, not the store near work where I am a frequent shopper in girl and boy mode. So I was not familiar with the sales staff, nor they with me.

Although I was in boy mode, I perused the racks "looking for stuff for my wife to try on." It was a perfect cover!

I saw a few items for my girl mode, but I thought I already have plenty to wear and since I have not gone out much lately, I really didn't need anything new.

But it's that time of year when gurls have visions of Provincetown dancing in their head. That includes me and I have been thinking about going to Fantasia Fair, but I can't make up my mind.

To help me make a decision, I listed the positives and negatives about going.

+ Have plenty of vacation time left to use
+ It is personally affordable this year
+ Wife's health is stable, so my absence from home would not be a burden
+ There are still rooms available in Provincetown
+ Have not gone to Fantasia Fair in two years
+ Opportunity to see old friends
+ Opportunity to present as a woman 24/7 for an extended period of time
+ Have plenty of new outfits to wear
+ I love Provincetown

- Packing
- Conflicts with baseball post-season (my Red Sox are in a position to be participants this year)
- Been there, done that regarding the Fantasia Fair schedule of activities
- I dislike the 4-hour drive to and from (especially from) Provincetown
- My dog lost her eyesight recently, so she may be a burden while I'm gone
- Just went to Fantasia Fair two years ago
- It is off-season, so some Provincetown places are closed
- Provincetown knows the gurls are in town, so passing is difficult
- Adams Pharmacy

So, should I stay or should I go?

Wearing Solace London.

Allied prisoners-of-war put on a show in German Stalag XVIII.

SaveSave

Snow!

Sunday, I was moping around the house feeling sorry for myself because I was not going to Provincetown for Fantasia Fair.

l checked the time and it was high noon. If I had left for P-Town at 9 AM as I had for past Fantasia Fair trips, I figured that by now I would be off the Interstates and on the Cape working my way up Route 6 for the final hour of travel to Provincetown.

With visions of Commercial Street dancing in my head, I glanced out the window and noticed that it was snowing! I have never seen it snow this early in the fall before and it made me shiver thinking about walking around Provincetown in a skirt.

Last year, it rained almost every day during Fantasia Fair, but at least, it was not cold. The forecast for the next few days is for unseasonably cold weather. The temperature got down to 32 Saturday night and Sunday night is supposed to be colder. It will not be much different on the Cape, but it is expected to be more seasonable later this week.

The weather almost makes me glad I did not go to Fantasia Fair! Notice I wrote “almost.”

Wearing Love...ady.

Lauralee's Halloween costume

We attended a play at a little theatre and my wife wore my work shirt, pants and company logo cap. Despite my height 6' 4" without heels, some people were unsure if I was man or woman. One older lady after sitting next to me for a bit blurted out "You're a man!" This outfit is a little over the top, but it's Halloween. Could have done a better job with the makeup, but didn't want the patrons wondering if I did this on a regular basis.

Packing

Packing for Fantasia Fair is always a crap shoot. Over-packing is usually the result. The following excerpt from my book Fantasia Fair Diaries describes that dilemma facing a fashionista packing for a week in Provincetown.   

All I need cosmetics-wise (vs. all I over-packed!)

It was a dark and stormy night.

Actually, it was a dark and stormy week… at least the meat of Fantasia Fair week. Tuesday through Friday, a Nor’easter blew through Provincetown — not the best weather for strolling around town, but that did not stop the girls from getting out and strutting their stuff up and down Commercial Street.

I was prepared bringing an umbrella and three types of outerwear to keep me warm and dry throughout the week. I probably could have gotten by with just two types of outerwear because I only wore my black sweater coat once. Most evenings, I wore my white fake fur jacket and most days, I wore my blue trench coat.

The trench coat got rave reviews. My B&B owner, Chris, loved the coat and I received unsolicited comments about it (“nice blue”) from strangers while walking around town.

Over-packing, I brought the following items that I never wore: two sweaters, two tunics, one blouse, one corset, one pair of leggings, one pair of shoes and way too much jewelry. I also brought too much makeup and too many boxes of stick-on nails; the set of nails I stuck on Sunday afternoon survived the whole week. I relied on my iPhone for photos, so my Canon camera, its charger, tripod, and computer cable could have stayed home.

On the other hand, I left my light-up makeup mirror at home and missed it, but managed to survive using the mirror and lighting in my bathroom.

My schedule was very full because there were a lot of things that interested me at Fantasia Fair this year and I tried to take in as much as I could. About half the things were at the Boatslip Resort, which was a half mile from my B&B. The other half was at The Crown & Anchor, which was two blocks from my B&B.

For things at the Boatslip, I carried my heels and wore my 1-1/2-inch Payless wedges for walking and switched to my heels at the thing. For things closer to my B&B, I wore my nude or black patent Payless heels and carried my wedges just in case.

That shoe strategy worked for me most of the time. The only just-in-case times occurred after a couple of particularly busy days walking up and down Commercial Street — my feet could not even stand the short two block walk in heels back to my B&B.

Wearing Boston Proper.

Actor Zach Braff in television's My Summer as a Girl (1994).

Fantasia Fair Final

Fantasia Fair: October 19 - 24, 2014

The girls dining at Ross's Grill, left to right, Andrea, Stana, Melissa, Natalie, Diana and Emeraude.

Fantasia Fair  has evolved.

In the past, it was reputed as being a getaway for female-to-male male-to-female crossdressers. Even six years ago when I attended my first Fanfair, that reputation preceded it.

The Fantasia Fair of the 2010s is different. Its attendees include female-to-male transgenders. And maybe it's just me... maybe I evolved since 2008, but it seems to me that a lot of the male-to-female attendees are in various stages of transition.

One thing that hasn't changed is that Provincetown is very diverse and accepting, so it affords a place where you can crossdress to your heart's content. But during Fantasia Fair it is impossible to pass no matter how passable you are because the civilians know what's up and read (right or wrong) every tall woman as "trans."

***

I wrote here that during the "Walking Tour of Historic Provincetown," our guide claimed that the B&B where I stayed during the Fair, Chicago House, was the birthplace of the International Foundation for Gender Education (IFGE). After the tour, I asked around and some people disputed that claim, while others seemed to support it.

Lynda e-mailed me in support of the claim.

She wrote, "I sat with the organizers of the IFGE at the Chicago House as the discussion of the plans for the organization took place. Merrissa Sherrill Lynn led the discusion and I believe became the first head of the IFGE."

***

Here is a shout-out to the girls I hung out with throughout the week (in alphabetical order). You ladies all made my week special and I hope we can do it again someday.

• Andrea, my Connecticut Outreach Society sister
• Davina, my Chicago House sister from Brazil
• Diana, my blogging sister from Connecticut
• Emeraude, my Chicago House sister from California
• Melissa, my Connecticut ham radio trans sister
• Natalie, my Chicago House sister from Connecticut (thanks again for the stamps, Natalie!)
• Also want to shout out to Sirena, a Connecticut expatriate. We kept passing like ships in the night in Cape Cod Bay throughout the week, but never found an opportunity to chat.
• Also, Robin, another Connecticut sister, who fell ill during the week and missed the tale end of the Fair.
• And Janie, my blogging sister from Canada. We met up way too briefly after one of the presentations during the week. I had not seen Janie since Fantasia Fair 2008 and it was great seeing her again. It was also nice to see that neither of us had changed one bit during the ensuing six years!

Wearing Krikor Jabotian.

 

A favorite photo from Fantasia Fair.
Taken by Luna Maria.