Joey's Prom-Like Experience

By Joey of Joeypress fame

Hi, I am Joey. I am a full-time man who sometimes wears women's clothes while being a man.  I have never been to prom while dressed pretty, but I have gone ballroom dancing a few times.  This is the story of one of those experiences from July 2018.

While dressed pretty, I drove to a town that was about one hour from my house and had an all-day outing. The big event of that day was a ballroom dancing event that occurs monthly. This was my first time attending one of these events. I wore a red top and a flowy, black, knit skirt that was hung to my knees. 

I entered the dance hall and found myself an empty table. There was an open dance lesson going on. I joined in the lesson and started learning The Hustle. I joined the circle as a “leader.” Occasionally, the “followers” would rotate. I was able to meet and dance with several of the ladies. No one mentioned my outfit.

My stress and worries faded away and I had a very nice time. After the lesson, I returned to my table to find two women sitting there. I said hello and learned their names. Then I stepped away to get food. When I returned from the buffet, I sat with an empty chair between one of the women and myself. She told me to move next to her. We started talking. I asked if they were together (versus just being friends who arrived separately) and they told me they were married.

After I ate, I started dancing with ladies. Sometimes I asked for the dance. A few times, a woman came over to where I was and asked me to dance. Other times, a woman would come over to where I was, but not speak to me. She would stand close by watching the people dance. If I made eye contact, she reacted expectantly. Then I would ask her to dance. It was quite surprising to me that women would come to me hoping that I would ask them to dance. It was very nice!

Two different times, I was asked if I was part of some Scottish thing in town. A couple of other people mentioned my “kilt.” I was also asked if I do Contra Dancing. (It is a regular occurrence to see a man wearing a long skirt at a Contra Dance.) No one seemed put off by me wearing a skirt. Instead, one woman spoke positively to me as she walked by. She said, “I love it!” A few men spoke to me about dancing and gave pointers. Several more men shook my hand and greeted me. I was completely welcome. I was so happy. I was so very, very happy.

Sadly, I do not have any pictures from this event.  Included is a picture from a swing dance that I went to in 2014. The swing dance was nice, but the ballroom dance was a dressier event. The women wore such pretty dresses, and it was much more prom-like.

Wearing Venus

Just another boy going to the prom!

My “Prom” En Femme

My “prom” dress

As I mentioned in Monday's post, the closest I came to attending a prom en femme was attending my law school reunion en femme. Sure, the only things common between a prom and a reunion is that they both are related to schools and students. There is no going back in time to my high school prom, so I like to think that my reunion was the prom I missed en femme.

My law school reunion experience was just fabulous!

The venue of the reunion was the Basketball Hall of Fame in Springfield, Massachusetts, which was also the location of my law school. After completing an uneventful hour ride from my home to the Hall, I entered the Hall of Fame complex and quickly found the banquet hall for the reunion.

I checked in and immediately encountered the woman who I had exchanged a few e-mails with concerning the reunion. I introduced myself; she welcomed me and helped me find my name badge.

There were about 20 people already in attendance. I recognized one of my classmates, CR, a woman who I considered a school acquaintance, not a long lost friend. I said hello to her and she returned a hello, while looking at my name badge trying to figure out who I was (the badge listed Stana, my last name, and my class year, 1977).

She was carrying a copy of our class yearbook, so I suggested she look me up in the yearbook to refresh her memory. She did and when she put two-and-two together, she exclaimed, “Oh my god! Stanley, you are beautiful now!”

She gushed over how I had changed and then we chatted a bit trying to catch up on the past 35 years in five minutes. She was distracted by another person, who I did not recognize, so I went to the bar and got a glass of white wine.

I mingled with myself for about five minutes, then CR came around again and pointed me the direction of a table where other 1977 classmates were gathering, so I headed in that direction. There I found two other female school acquaintances (PM and LF) and one of my best friends (JB) and his wife.

An aside, as it turned out, there were nine people in my class who made it to the reunion. Four women and five men. All the women came solo and all five men came with their wives. I believe that the three other women are unattached.

Both PM and LF welcomed me with open arms as if we were old girlfriends and not just acquaintances (I think CR had informed them of my presence before I found their table, so they were expecting me). 

I did not recognize JB immediately, but when I realized it was my old friend, I greeted him warmly and gave him a hug. His wife, EB, introduced herself and she was very welcoming, too. We all exchanged our stories about the last 35 years, but the women were more interested in hearing my story than relating theirs to me. So as not to disappoint, I obliged and held an impromptu outreach session.

Another friend, MM, showed up and he greeted me like the old friends we were.

The cocktail hour flew by and before I knew it, PM was beckoning me to join her at the 1977 table in the dining room. I sat down next to PM and we chatted forever, mostly about me. She assumed that I was post-op and I explained that I was not. Actually, everyone I talked to about being transgender assumed I was post-op and I explained to all of them that I was not.

PM said that I was undoubtedly a woman and that I was more of a woman than she was! She said she never felt like a “woman” and was not sure what it meant to feel like a woman. I basically said we are what we are, but society pigeonholes us as “men” or “women” according to their “standards.”

After dinner, which by the way, was excellent, I had a long discussion with EB about being transgender. EB is in the entertainment industry in New York City and as a result, she is familiar with transgenders and knows where I was coming from more or less.

I mentioned to her that her husband, JB, was the person who told me at the law school Halloween party 36 years ago, that he never realized how feminine I was until he saw me in my costume en femme and realized that it was such a good fit for me and my personality, mannerisms, etc.

MM sat down next to me to chat a bit and said that I was very brave to do what I did. And I replied with my standard comeback to the bravery comment, that is, I don't consider it brave to be yourself… to be what who you are. But he said I was too modest and that if he was in the same situation, he doubted if he could do what I did.

Maybe, maybe not, but it was very nice of MM to say what he did. In fact, I received nothing but support and positive words from all my classmates.

I did not mix much with the other attendees; there was not much time to do so. But early on, one woman from the class of 2006 introduced herself and we had a short chat about what we had in common, that is, the mispronunciation of our first names. Her name is Zoe and people call her Zo or Zo-ee.  About half the people pronounced my name correctly (rhymes with Donna) and the other half got it wrong, but I didn't mind.

The only other non-classmate I recall speaking with was a law school professor who dined at our table and sat right next to me. He began teaching at the school the year after I graduated, so he did not know me from the school, but I asked him about what happened to some of the people I worked with way back when (I worked in the library while attending law school) and he tried to fill me in on what he remembered (not much as it turned out).

Another aside... the three female classmates who I conversed with extensively at the reunion seldom spoke to me when we were attending law school. I cannot recall having an extended conversation with any of them back then. So, needless to say, I was very surprised how well they interfaced with me at the reunion. It was like we were four old girlfriends reliving the past. I assure you that I am not complaining, but I was very surprised nonetheless.

The evening ended much too quickly and I was on my way home at 10:30 PM.

I had a wonderful time to put it mildly!

Wearing Elagia

Alexander Vlahos femulating in the French television series Versailles.

Missy's Prom 2024

By Missy

Greetings again!

This past April, Stana posted my story of chaperoning my high school’s 2023 prom as my “other self,” Missy. In brief, my decision to present as Missy at prom was twofold: As an ongoing promise to my non-binary daughter (an alum who wrestled with their identity while at our school) to be a visible advocate for our LGBTQ+ students and to simply be true to myself. 

Some might say there is an element of “bravery” involved, but the way I see it, students who are having trouble expressing their identities need role models beyond those they encounter on social media or in the news. One ounce of bravery could eventually lead to tons of acceptance and inclusivity.

Anyway, if you would like to read (or reread) that post, click here: Missy's Prom 

I sincerely appreciated the kind words and comments sent by Stana’s readers after that initial post and Dee was correct in asserting that I was preparing for Prom 2024 almost immediately afterwards. [:-)] In the fall, I found what I considered to be THE dress I would love to wear at the next prom (my wife gave me the thumbs up on it, which carried a lot of weight), so the plan was already afoot.

Nonetheless, with the anti-trans climate being what it has been for the past year or so, I wasn’t entirely sure if Missy would make another prom appearance. Thankfully, my supportive Head of School approached me a couple of weeks before prom and broached the subject before I had the chance. Below is pretty much how the conversation went.

Head of School: So are you all set for prom?

Me: If you mean, “Am I chaperoning prom again?” Then I am as ready as I have always been. If you are asking “Will I be presenting the same as last year?” Well, I was going to bring it up to you, so thanks for asking. Yes, I was planning to again, if you’re okay with it. With the current backlash against trans-related things, I wanted to be sure there isn't any concern from parents, students or anyone in the community.

Head of School: It’s a total non-issue as far as I’m concerned and I will have your back 100% on this if there is pushback from anyone. You keep on being you.

Me: Then I do believe I am all set and thanks again, Chief.

Whew. And that was that. I checked with a few other administrators who eased my mind by saying it was no problem whatsoever and said that they were looking forward to seeing me at prom, per usual. 

It was definitely a mentally-freeing feeling and I will reiterate here how lucky I consider myself to have such support from my colleagues, friends, students and immediate family. And if not full support, at least tolerance and acceptance. I understand that not everyone is as fortunate, so I do not take my situation for granted.

A couple of days later, one of our school counselors asked if I had my dress for prom yet. She had chaperoned prom with me the previous year, so that was a natural question. I told her I had indeed bought a dress a few months back (but wouldn’t show her a photo, of course!) and asked if she had hers picked out. 

She said she had a couple of choices, but wasn’t sure which one to go with. We then proceeded to have a very natural conversation about the process... where I bought my dress, what kind of shoes I planned to wear, color palette, how I still needed to find the right jewelry to accessorize, etc. It was a thoroughly enjoyable “what women talk about” moment.

(As an aside that readers might appreciate, this counselor had stopped by my classroom earlier in the year and said, “I have a gift for you.” She then handed me a two-sided heart-shaped rock.

She told me, “This rock reminds me of you. The front side is polished and solid; the other side is flowery and beautiful.” Needless to say, I got only slightly emotional and gave her a huge hug.)

So, on to prom! In the days leading up to the event, I found matching flower-based jewelry and my wife helped me shop for magnetic eyelashes (my first time with those – loved them!) and the right shade of nail color to match some of the flowers in the dress. I had practiced with my makeup a few times, so I think I achieved the look I was hoping for, although a rather hot and dramatically humid evening led to a last-minute change from nylons to bare-legs. Ah well, in for a penny.

As was the case the previous year, my own experience at the prom was blissfully uneventful. A number of parents attended the “pre-prom” beforehand, so I shared a few air kisses with some of the moms, graciously accepted any compliments that came my way and just made general chit-chat with families I knew. I was honestly mistaken for another chaperone’s girlfriend (which helped make my night!), but other than that, there were few noteworthy tales to tell. 

During the actual prom, I just did what chaperones do: mingle with students, watch the doors, eat, dance and share in the occasion. Honestly, my presence was a mere footnote, from what I could tell. One reader from my earlier post had commented that my appearance at prom could potentially take the focus away from the attendees (especially the girls) and I kept that possibility in the back of my mind, but that didn’t seem to be the case, as the students were wrapped up in themselves and each other, as it should be.

Near the end of the evening, one of my students asked if I had a “drag queen name.” I told him I didn’t because drag queens seem more like a form of entertainment and I wasn't trying to entertain anyone. I was just trying to be myself. He responded, “That's fair. Makes sense.” I almost divulged the name Missy, but figured it best to leave the conversation right where it was.

My prom night ended with little fanfare, but it was another truly amazing experience.

So there you have it, dear readers. I enjoyed once again sharing this corner of my world and being a part of Stana's “Prom Week” postings. I’ll let you know how 2025 goes (or if anything relevantly interesting happens during the upcoming school year).

On Monday, Stana wrote the following, which bears repeating:

“Support from friends, family and school staff is crucial for students who choose to attend prom in a dress. Positive reinforcement can make a significant difference in their experience, helping them feel accepted and valued. Schools that foster an inclusive environment by allowing students to express themselves freely contribute to a more supportive and understanding community.

“High school males attending prom dressed as females is more than a fashion statement; it’s a courageous act of self-expression and a step towards greater gender inclusivity. By challenging traditional norms and embracing their true selves, these students are not only making their prom night memorable, but also paving the way for future generations to express their identities without fear.”

Amen to that. I could not have said it any better.

Thank you for reading and thanks again for the opportunity, Stana.

Wearing JustFab

Doris Fish, professional femulator

Prom Week Continues

Wearing Elagia

Whitney attended the prom en homme in 1999 with a drag queen named Butterfly on his/her arm. “The girls who saw Butterfly... knew the truth right away, and were distraught that a man looked so much better in that dress than they did.”

A Gucci Christmas!

By Lisa Phelps

A real Gucci dress on me, really?

Let me start at the beginning of the story. Several years ago I decided I wanted to create my own prom. After all, I missed out getting dressed up properly for my high school prom, if you don’t count the midnight blue satin suit with ruffled shirt that was in vogue in the 1970’s. (You must admit from the accompanying photo of a similar suit, that it gives off good feminine vibes, even without the ruffled shirt.

I won’t bore you with my prom story here, but suffice it to say that to attend my prom I needed “the dress” and I found a gorgeous one at Macy’s on sale for something like $69. 

After I bought the dress, I noticed that the designer was Adrianna Papell. I happily included that information in a description of the night to my daughter and her reaction was “I have no idea who the designer you mentioned is… I don’t like the idea of spending too much… it’s all about branding and buying into an idea.” 

Essentially, she was letting me know that while the dress was beautiful, she could care less who designed it. I must admit that I am not a designer hound either – I was more impressed that I got a great deal on the dress! I thought it looked gorgeous (and it would have been over the top stunning if only the model had been better...)

After that experience, I have tried not to pay much attention to labels except to check to see if a dress will fit me. The other day, however, I was in TJ Maxx browsing the racks for anything that would be fun to try on or buy or both. This particular store had a good selection of both inexpensive and more expensive clothes and I greedily snapped up a half dozen dresses and tops to take with me to the fitting room. 

A burgundy satin gown really caught my attention. It looked absolutely regal and visually striking while still up on the hangar jammed in with other less worthy examples. What would it look like on me, I wondered? The hangar tag said it was a size 10. Since I sometimes can squeeze into a size 10, I added it to the items I wanted to try on.

After not quite being able to zip it up, however, I had to admit to myself that the dress just didn’t fit. I sadly slipped out of the dress to look at the label again to check the size. The label definitely said 10, so the problem was the girth around the chest area, not the dress. (Oh, the joys of AMAB!) That is when I saw that it was a Gucci. 

A Gucci dress at TJ Maxx? Really? TJ Maxx is a discounter/reseller; it didn’t make sense that they would be carrying a dress like that. Then I noticed the price tag. TJ Maxx was selling it for the highly discounted price of only $1,400 (One Thousand Four Hundred Dollars!). OMG. This dress was originally $2,700. 

I decided right then and there that I was going to try it on again and take a photo of myself in it. When would I get a chance to try on a dress like that again? When would someone let me even do that without pressuring me to buy it? So I did and the photo didn’t end up looking half bad.

You can see that I had to put one arm behind me. That ploy was required to hold together the two ends of the ribboned belt that went just under the bosom. Even with that maneuver, I think you will agree that the dress still looked amazing, even on this old dress form. Quality really does show well.

If that dress had been $140 instead of $1400, I probably would have bought it even though I have never spent that much on a dress (a footnote to readers struck by my apparent willingness to spend a lot of money on a dress – I am in my 60’s now. When I was younger and had a growing family, I never spent more than about $10 on any of my womenswear items). My seamstress could have let it out enough for me to wear it. 

Truthfully, I would have been crazy to buy the dress even at 1/10th the cost because it would simply have gone into the closet with the other lonely members of my formal dress collection. I have a half dozen amazing dresses in that wonderful assembly of style (including the one I wore to my “prom”), but I am lucky if I have just one event every couple of years calling for a dress like that. 

I take comfort from my wife’s own, similar collection of formalwear. Although too-often ignored, each dress nevertheless shines like a beacon of ultimate femininity from the corner of my closet calling me to go out and dance!

I should add that I was just in New York with my wife and we passed the Gucci store on Fifth Avenue. As we went by, my best friend brought me full circle when she said, “I am not impressed by Gucci. It is for insecure people who are trying to place their value as human beings on their stuff. The money can be spent on much better things that help human kind.” 

Like daughter, like mother! They are both right on some level of course, but come on, ladies, don’t the times sometimes demand a little style?

Regardless of the inclinations of the ladies in my life, I’ll hang on to my life lesson from this experience: you may not be able to fit the girl in the Gucci, but the Gucci still belongs on the girl. Yeah, baby – Gucci Gucci Goo!

Wearing Yumi Kim

Alyss Hart is a Femulate reader from the Gold Coast, Australia, posing earlier this year at a crossdressing studio, Arpi's House of Transformation.

Going to the Prom

It is prom season, a time when many a young femulator’s heart is all a flutter thinking about the pretty prom gowns he won’t be able to wear to his high school’s spring formal.

In high school, I did not date much. I interacted easily with girls on a day-to-day basis, but when it came to dating, I did not interact successfully.

Looking back, I realize that interacting with girls was easy because I was feminine. However, dating girls was difficult because I had to act like a male and that was so foreign to me that I was lousy at it.

When I attended my high school’s prom, my sister had to set me up with her best friend as my date. That date went fine because I already knew my sister’s friend well; it was as if we were two girls out on a date. The only problem was that one girl had to dress like a boy. I wore a white tux and that was probably a good thing because back then, I was about 50 pounds heavier than I am now. Squeezing into a prom gown would not have been a pretty sight, but I am sure my mother would have sewn me something dreamy to wear and would have had me fitted with the proper foundation garments so that I would be voluptuous in her creation. Of course, it did not happen, but I dreamed about it nonetheless.

Times have changed. As Ray Davies once sang, “Boys will be girls and girls will be boys” and today, at some of the more progressive schools in our nation, girls do wear tuxedos to proms and boys do wear gowns.

Lucky kids!

Wearing Bebe

Professional femulator Jean Pierre Rene at the Juan-les-Pins club in Paris. 1956

Going to the Prom

It is prom season, a time when many a young femulator's heart is all a flutter thinking about the pretty prom gowns he won't be able to wear to his high school's spring formal.

I wore a white tux to my senior prom and that was probably a good thing because back then, I was about 40 pounds heavier than I am now. Squeezing into a prom gown would not have been a pretty sight, but I am sure my mother would have sewn me something dreamy to wear and would have had me fitted with the proper foundation garments so that I would be voluptuous in her creation. Of course, it did not happen, but I dreamed about it nonetheless.

Times have changed. As Ray Davies once sang, "Boys will be girls and girls will be boys" and today, at some of the more progressive schools in our nation, girls do wear tuxedos to proms and boys do wear gowns like today's Femulator, Rey Silva (see below).

Lucky kids!

Wearing Dannijo Odion necklace, Cushnie Et Ochs bodysuit and Brandon Maxwell pants.

Raven Ross and Rey Silva are going to the prom in drag to celebrate Silva's passion for pop fashion icons and bring awareness about the fears that LGBT high school students often feel.

Proms

In high school, I did not date much. I interacted easily with girls on a day-to-day basis, but when it came to dating, I did not interact successfully.

Looking back, I realize that interacting with girls was easy because I was so feminine, I was really a girl. However, dating girls was difficult because I had to act like a male and that was so foreign to me that I was lousy at it.

When I attended my high school's prom, my sister had to set me up with her best friend as my date. That date went fine because I already knew my sister's friend well; it was as if we were two girls out on a date. The only problem was that one girl had to dress like a boy.

So as the prom season winds down throughout the land, I think about the pretty prom gowns I wasn't able to wear to my high school's spring formal.

Times have changed. As Ray Davies once sang, "Boys will be girls and girls will be boys" and today, boys do wear gowns to proms and girls do wear tuxedos, probably not at my Catholic high school, but at some of the more progressive schools in the land.

And so it goes.

Miss Garber was way ahead of the curve attending her prom in Texas in 1996.

Canadian lass, Rachel attended her prom in 2011. 

Chris attended her prom in the UK in 2012.

It’s that time of year

 

 

 

Actors Kyle Crawford, Chris Pool, Johnny Nichols, Kevin Daugherty and
Cameron Dunbar femulating on stage in Re-Designing Women, 2014.

 

 

 

Wearing Vivienne Westwood.

Going to My Prom in Drag

"Jacob Szymanski is already planning for his senior prom at Carl Sandburg High School, which will be Friday, April 25, at the Field Museum in downtown Chicago.

"His alter ego, drag diva Harlet Wench, will be in all her glory.

"Szymanski, 17, who lives in suburban Orland Park and is openly gay, will be dressing in drag for the Eagles' extravaganza.

"'I'm going to my senior prom in drag because I hope to help other kids in the future,' he said. 'I love doing drag and think this a perfect opportunity to gain some attention for the LGBT community and LGBT youth in specific. If I were to go as a boy, nobody would care, but if I put on the wig, the heels, the makeup, and the dress; suddenly people are interested.

"'I want to use this attention in a positive way. People think just because it's 2014 that bullying and discrimination don't occur. Times are changing and it's a lot better, but homophobic behavior is still around in schools and it makes other kids afraid to come out of the closet, or just be who they are.'"

For the rest of the story, read Windy City Times and OrlandPark Patch.

Actors Robert Caso and David Schon femulating in the 1993 film The Naked Truth.

Lisa Vanderpump.