We don’t need no stinking trousers!

Monday’s post (“Dresses & Skirts – A Thing Of The Past?”) by Carollyn Olson received a lot of interesting comments. What follows is my take on the subject.

I seldom see civilian women in dresses or skirts. At the mall last week, I saw one woman in a skirt – all the others were in pants. However, there were still racks of dresses for sale in Macy’s. Don’t know who’s buying them because nobody was wearing them. Maybe they should move those racks to the men’s department because it seems that “men” like us are more likely to wear dresses than cisgender women.

Despite what civilian women are wearing or not wearing, I still dress up when I go out. In addition to the dress, I am fully coiffured and wear heels, hosiery, handbag, jewelry, bra, girdle, full makeup, etc. – just like when Mom when she used to go out. (She taught her “daughter” well.)

People notice. But what’s wrong with being noticed? Being noticed may result in compliments and what girl doesn’t like to receive unsolicited compliments on their appearance.

I’ve received compliments from complete strangers while out and about. My favorite occurred one day while I was looking through the racks at JCPenney. 

A middle-aged woman (same age as me) approached and asked, “Can I ask you a question.”

I had no idea what she was going to ask (“What time is it?” “Where did you buy your shoes?” “Are you a transvestite?”). I girded my loins, smiled and agreed to answer her question.

“You're dressed fashionably, so I'd like your opinion about a pair of slacks I was thinking about buying.”

Wow! I did not see that coming!

I did not like the slacks that she had picked out and suggested something with a bolder pattern. She admitted that she really did not like her pick and liked my suggestion better.

I pointed out a skirt with a pattern similar to what I had in mind and her eyes lit up as she said, “I saw slacks with that pattern. Now I just have to find them again! Thank-you for your help.”

It does not get much better than that! But how ironic: a “man” wearing a dress helping a woman shop for slacks!

I admit I have a few bifurcated garments in milady’s wardrobe. But I seldom wear them. Maybe when I attend a very casual affair like a cook-out or a softball game. Otherwise, I’m in a dress. 

After all, they don’t call it “cross-trousering,” do they?

Wearing JustFab

Femulate reader Heather Elizabeth Stevens, not out and about as often as she would like. Hotel stays while on business trips after a long day typically finds Heather short on time to get out, yet she still adores having her time in a hotel with a glass or two of wine and friends on the Internet.

Another Fashionista Day

Not a Pretty Picture Dept.

Here is a follow-up on the outfit I purchased from New York and Company last week.

Everything fit me fine. I liked the polka dot blouse and it is a keeper, but I did not like the pants.

The on-line photos gave me the impression that the pants were stretchy leggings made of a cotton and spandex blend. Instead, the pants were a rayon, nylon and spandex blend and did not stretch much at all... not like leggings. Instead of clinging to my legs like leggings, they covered my legs and did not hint at the shape of what was underneath.

Maybe they were too big, but they were also very wrinkled and not attractive at all (on me), so I am returning the pants along with the matching cardigan for a refund.

Ten Happy Piggies Dept.

I wanted to wear my "new" Nine West high heel pumps out to dinner last Wednesday, but I was a little hesitant. The heel is 4-1/2-inches high and at that height, comfort can be a problem.

I have high heel inserts that usually provide some comfort, but I decided to try something different: ball of foot cushions that I recently purchased. The cushions are different than to what I am accustomed. Rather than slipping the cushion in your shoe, you wear your hosiery over the cushion and the cushion has a loop that slips over your second toe (the little piggy that stayed home) to keep the cushion in place.

They worked. I wore my heels for over six hours and comfort was not an issue. I even wore them driving my manual transmission go kart.

(Source: Pinterest)

Frederick Weller femulates in television's In Plain Sight (2012)

Lucky Guy

Holiday Dressing When You're Not Out

If you are not completely out of the closet, dressing for the holidays can be a drag.

Sure you can dress to the nines in your new cocktail dress to attend parties hosted by your fellow transpeople, but attending holiday gatherings hosted by civilians, that is, non-trans family and friends, usually means dressing in boring boy mode.

But dressing like a boy does not have to be humdrum if you are willing to push the envelope. You can feminize your boy look just enough to please your inner girl, while maintaining enough boyishness so that civilians won't question your gender.

Dressing like the fellow pictured to the right would allow you to do just that.

His hairdo is decidedly male, but was highlighted by his hairdresser to femme up his crowning glory. He wears minimum makeup --- just foundation, tinted lip gloss, mascara, eyeliner and eyeshadow, which allows him to look pretty, but still maintain a boyish appearance.

His black crepe romper with the silk satin bow tie hints at his feminine side, but still maintains a semblance of masculinity --- after all, he is wearing pants, not a dress. Jumpers and rompers often have no pockets, so he has a perfect excuse for carrying a man-clutch (he has to store his money, keys, hankies and makeup somewhere).

Mantyhose were optional, but depilation was not; no boy would be caught dead with hairy legs in an outfit like this, so a close shave of his manly gams was in order. To complete the look, flats would be a bust --- a pair of sexy man-heels were a must.

Finally, our fashionable fellow added the colorful necklace to make a feminine statement in case anyone missed the other feminine clues.

This ensemble might be too edgy for some of us. Uncle Billy and Ma Bailey might faint dead away at the sight of a male relative showing up for Christmas Eve dinner in this outfit, but on the other hand, it may be acceptable in more diverse family settings. Your mileage will vary.

If this outfit is too over the top for you, you can push the envelope without breaking it like I did today.

It is the last day of work here before the long weekend shutdown. Many of my co-workers are already taking time off. I estimate that we are about half staffed today, so it is a good day to push the envelope a bit; with fewer co-workers in the building, there are fewer chances for confrontations (not that I expect any, but you never know).

With that in mind, I feminized my look when I dressed for work today.

My underwear consists of black panties, waist cincher, black camisole, and black tights.

Over that, I am wearing my long red tunic sweater that falls to the top of my thighs, black slacks with a side zipper and no pockets, and black patent flats with a silver buckle.

I even wore a little makeup: a light coating of mascara along with my standard pink tinted lip balm.

I considered wearing a bra instead of the camisole, but I thought that C-cups would be too noticeable under the sweater. I also considered wearing a purse, but I had to carry my computer bag, so I was able to store everything I needed in the bag.

I made the rounds through the building twice already and no one has mentioned my outfit, but I feel so womanly that I am glowing.

en femme on Tuesday

Yesterday was a good day out en femme despite the miserable weather (a light rain fell throughout the day and temperature hovered around 50 degrees, but it felt colder).

I wore my favorite dress and broke in a pair of heels that I bought on clearance from Newport-News many months ago, but had not worn yet.

I was out the door and arrived at my first stop, Payless , just after 10 AM to shop for a big handbag and comfortable shoes for my NYC trip.

They had a nice selection of big bags, but only a few had the top zip closure that I desired, so that narrowed down the selection process. After perusing all their offerings, I finally chose a big black "chic oversize tote" featuring "softie faux leather, silvertone grommet details, an interior large enough for most laptops."

Next, I shopped for a pair of comfortable flats for trekking around the paved canyons of NYC next month. The sizes were not consistent between styles, so I tried on every pair of flats that the store had on display in sizes 11, 11W, and 12.

I almost settled for a pair of size 11 Mary Jane flats that were a little loose, but then I spotted a pair of size 12 black patent moccasins that fit like a glove. I don't usually like moccasins, but these were different; they had black patent "faux leather uppers and a stylish silver buckle detail." They are really cute and don't look like traditional moccasins; they are also very comfortable and are the Dexter brand, so the quality is probably better, too.

While searching for the flats, I also found a pair of comfortable black round toe mid-heel Mary Janes that I added to my purchases.

The cashier was very chatty and remarked how I had such good taste! He liked all my purchases and said that the handbag I chose was flying out of the store. He also remarked that the mid-heel Mary Janes were very popular with dancers; he recently had to special order 15 pairs for a local dance troupe.

By the way, while I was trying on shoes, another customer said she loved the shoes I was wearing and wondered if I bought them at Payless because she wanted to buy a pair for herself. My Newport-News clearance shoes are black peep-toe Mary Janes with a 3-inch stiletto heel and a white button that holds the strap in place. The shoes are very cute and surprisingly comfortable considering their height.

I loaded my Payless purchases in my Subaru, then went shopping at Dress Barn, which was in the same strip mall as Payless. My goal was to find a pair of cropped pants and top to wear during my NYC stay in June.

I found a cute beige tunic length top with a square neckline and a brown floral print and I matched it with a pair of beige cropped pants. When I tried the outfit on, it was adorable, but the pants were too big. I figured that the next size down would be just right, but they did not have the next size down; I tried on a pair two sizes down, but they were too small. I bought the top and plan to go to another Dress Barn today to see if they have the pants in my size. (Scored! I found a pair in my size at another Dress Barn and I also bought another top to go with the pants.)

As expected when shopping during a weekday morning, most of the customers I encountered were retirees and young mothers with babies in tow. Nobody paid much attention to me. And the ones that did, like the woman in Payless, interacted with me as if I was just another female customer. It was very validating.

My shopping was a little rushed because I had to be in New Haven for the 12:20 PM class that I was outreaching. So back in the Subaru, I had a 15-minute drive to Diana's house. Diana was also participating in the outreach and she offered to drive to New Haven. I arrived at her house at 11:45 and she drove me in her Prius to Southern Connecticut State University. We arrived at the classroom right on time and met the other people doing outreach, two no-op male-to-female transsexuals and the spouse of one.

We each gave a short bio, then the class split into three separate groups and each of us took a turn answering questions for each group. Professor Schildroth has been very accommodating and I was able to go solo again, which pleased me because all the questions would be related to my brand of transgenderism (whatever that may be), rather than sharing the Q&A time with someone whose brand of transgenderism differed from my brand.

We outreached two classes yesterday, each with three groups, so we each did six Q&A sessions yesterday. By the way, the ratio of females-to-males in each class was about 10 to 1 and each class had about 30 students. (The photo is me waiting to do outreach at the second class.)

Here are the some highlights of my Q&A sessions:

I received a lot of questions asking if I was gay (I am not).

A couple of students asked if I have been hit upon and what do I do if I am (yes, I have been hit upon and when I am, I point to my wedding ring). That question is validating in that the students asking the question must think that I look like someone who might get hit upon!

I also received a lot of questions about my voice. Usually, I do not get asked about my voice, but yesterday, I was a little hoarse (from allergies) and my voice was less feminine than usual, so I think that is why I had a more inquiries about my voice than usual.

My makeup received a lot of inquiries (how did I learn to do my makeup) and a lot of praise.

My hair also received a lot of positive comments and many of the students were surprised when they learned that my hair was a wig. I was wearing my new "Stacie" wig for the first time yesterday and it was a little tight, but that too shall pass.

Most of the students seemed to appreciate our presence in the class; they showed us respect and laughed at most of my attempts at humor. By the way, I mentioned my blog and some students asked for the URL. If any students are reading this, I would love to hear from you, so write a comment or send e-mail.

In between classes, we dined at the student union. I had a slice of pizza and a bottle of iced tea while reading the comments from the students in the first class. I received some positive comments along with some "Staci seemed nervous" comments, but nothing negative.

After the second class, Diana, I, and the married couple went to eat at a diner in Cromwell. At that point, I had been wearing a heels for over 7 hours and I was surprised how comfortable they were after that long and active day, but I decided to switch shoes on the way to the diner and wore my new mid-heel Mary Janes. What a difference! It was like switching to bedroom slippers!

Being a Tuesday evening, the diner was not busy and we were able to get a big corner booth. I love diner breakfast food, so I had an omelette with home fries, rye toast, and coffee. We talked about the day and had a pleasant dining experience. Our waiter was very accommodating and treated us like ladies.

After dinner/breakfast, we said our goodbyes and I drove home exhausted from my day out en femme, but very pleased about how well it turned out. It was a very positive, validating experience and I look forward to doing it again.

in denial

As usual, click on the image to enlarge it.

shopping for the Fair

(updated below)

I took an early lunch and went to the mall to shop for my week en femme at Fantasia Fair. I intended to shop for three things: silver shoes to go with my evening gown, false eyelashes, and a pair of pants.

For false eyelashes, I went to the M·A·C counter at Macy's. I told the saleswoman that I wanted false eyelashes that looked natural. She suggested two pairs and I picked one . I was surprised that the eyelashes did not include glue; it was a separate item that I had to purchase.

Speaking of separates... after considering what I wrote yesterday about mixing and matching separates to save space in my luggage, I decided I needed a nice pair of black pants. Since I have never bought woman's pants before (leggings yes, pants no), I decided to go to a store where I was likely to get assistance from a salesperson: Lane Bryant.

I knew what I wanted, but I was overwhelmed with the selection. After trying to look as lost as possible, a saleswoman asked me if I needed help. I told her I did drag and that I wanted a nice pair of black pants around size 16 Tall.

She was very helpful and found two pairs of black "Right Fit Lafayette pants," one pair in size 2 Tall and the other in size 1 Tall. She showed me to the dressing room and I tried on the size 2 Tall first. It fit fine. Then, I tried on the size 1 Tall and it fit more snugly than the 2 Tall. I was not wearing a girdle (or a mirdle), so I figured that the size 1 Tall would be a perfect fit when I wear them with my girdle.

The pants cost $49.50, but by opening a Lane Bryant credit card, I saved 15% and the total cost came to $35.76.

Online, Payless had a pair of shoes that I liked, so I visited the Payless store at the mall, but they did not have the shoe in my size. I looked at shoes in the other stores and only one pair (in Macy's) caught my eye, but the price tag ($99) scared me away.

I stopped at another Payless store near work, but they did not have the shoe in my size either, however, the saleswoman did a search and found a pair in another Payless store that I can stop by on my way home from work this afternoon. (Wish me luck.)

UPDATE: The third Payless store had the shoe in my size and with the referral from the other store, I received a $3 discount. I also bought the matching handbag, which was on sale for $11, but I only paid $5.50 because Payless is having a BOGO (Buy One, Get One half off) promotion.