Finally!

On Wednesday, I finally got out among the civilians – first time since the pandemic began! The main reason for my outing was to do outreach at a local high school with the Stonewall Speakers. 

I had to meet up with everybody at the high school at 2 PM. But I was ready early, so instead of hanging around the house en femme, I decided to go to a mall (Westfarms) that was near the high school. My wife checked me out before I left and informed me to fix my wig because there were stray hairs that were trying to get away! (Thanks, Honey.)

I drove to the mall and entered via Macy’s, briefly perused the dress racks, but I did not feel like shopping. I was hungry and felt like eating, so I lunched at my favorite restaurant in the mall Brio Italian Grille.

I had the “Sausage, Pepperoni & Ricotta Flatbread,” ate about one-third of it and doggy-bagged the rest of it home.

After lunch, I walked to Sephora to purchase some makeup. Shopping at Sephora was uneventful, but the walk to and from Sephora was interesting. A tall woman in a dress and high heels sure catches the eye of every male within the sound of the clicking high heels. I passed three groups of guys who I assume were spending their lunch hour at the mall and I distracted them from what they were doing. Not a discouraging word was heard, so I assume they like my shoes!

The issue of my weight loss reared its ugly head. My feet are smaller than they were 25 pounds ago and they were swimming in the shoes that fit in the good old days. By the time I left the mall, my feet hurt from wearing the ill-fitting shoes. I fixed the problem temporarily by stuffing facial tissues into the toes of my shoes so that they fit tighter, but I have to do something more permanent to fix the problem.

I drove to the high school and met up with the gender and sexuality club advisor and my fellow Stonewall Speakers, a gay man and a post-op male-to-female transwoman. There was an excellent turn-out, approximately 30 LGBT males and females.

Each presenter gave a brief biography. I went first and was a little nervous because it’s been a couple of years since my last outreach, but the students laughed when they were supposed to laugh and no one threw tomatoes at me.

After our biographies, the students asked questions that were different than the outreach questions I’ve heard in the past. The difference was probably due to the fact that these students have skin in the game, whereas the college students were attendees because it was part of a course they were taking.

After outreach, we mingled for a few minutes and a young lady made a bee-line for me to compliment me on my perfect makeup!

It was wonderful to be out en femme again and to do outreach. I will be doing outreach at a different local high school next month. 

Wearing Eloquii

Longtime Femulate reader Nancy Ng attending the 2019 Christmas Gala of her Toronto area CD support group, Xpressions.

Postponed

I was supposed to do outreach at a local high school today, but the person at the school who requested us forgot that today was a half day for the students. So outreach has been rescheduled for next Wednesday. (That gives me another week to think about what I am going to wear!)

Readers asked to describe outreach.

Outreach is an attempt to educate and enlighten non-transgender people about what it means to be transgender. 

It occurs in two parts. First, each outreach presenter gives a brief autobiography (about five minutes long). Then the audience asks us questions.

All of the outreach I have done in the past was with college students who were attending as part of a course they were taking (typically Human Sexuality). I expect that the questions from the high schoolers may be different because attendance is voluntary and not related to a course they are taking. Rather, they are attending because they are members of the school’s gender and sexuality club. They have skin in the game, so I suspect their questions will be different.

Click here to read my post about the most memorable questions asked of me at past outreaches.

Wearing Elisabetta Franchi

Rob Lowe femulating a nurse in the 1984 film Hotel New Hampshire.

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly or Brenda’s Attempt at “Out and About”

By Brenda

I had a rare opportunity with no one home for a full 24 hours that would allow me to be “out and about” for an evening. My plan was to visit the mall, a hardware store and Ikea. I planned to leave the house upon nightfall allowing several hours of shopping. However, retail hours have been cut short and stores are not open until 10 p.m. anymore.

I had my outfit ready to go and would enjoy an afternoon at home first. I just needed to tape up the Zoom camera just in case I had a work call.

The Good

Wearing of a mask means I don’t need any real makeup except for eye shadow. Wearing glasses, the impact may be less. I still put on lipstick to match my press-on nails.

The Bad

An important package was to arrive at the last minute needing a signature, which put my departure time later than planned. This cost me time.

The neighbors set up a hockey net right in front of my driveway and played road hockey with their kids. That cost me time as I needed for them to go away so I could drive out without notice or suspicion.

My shoe size has gone from a size 10, 20 years ago to a size 11 and now it’s very much a size 12. Pre -planning helped me find a nice pump, but I really wanted a chunkier heel, but the stiletto would work. Is this what happens as we age – our feet get bigger?

COVID weight gain pushed my skirt size up two sizes, but a quick visit to the thrift shops solved that problem. In fact, I spotted another gurl casually spending time enjoying herself shopping.

The Ugly

My left knee has become problematic and of course, it was giving me pain the day before. This ruled out the high heels. No problem – my flats fit fine, but I will bring my pumps just in case.

So anxiously eyeballing the road hockey family, they finally realized it was too dark to play and packed up. By now it was 7:30 p.m. and I decided maybe I should just go straight to Ikea as the mall closed at 8 p.m.

Well, I managed to check out DSW just before closing hoping to find new shoes, but no luck.

Ikea worked out great as I followed through the maze, but what I wanted was out of stock. My knee held up well with the high heels with the shopping cart providing support.

The time savings without the check out line let me drop into Lowes to look up paint colors and stroll through appliances and kitchens. I was feeling very confident that I am sure the middle-aged woman would pass well in the power tools section as well. I did wear my flats.

So what does a femulator do when the stores close?

A drive-through coffee, a visit with a couple of ATM machines, return some books at the library drop box, drop off donation items at two charity boxes, but I did not mail any letters. I switched to my heels and parked farther away than normal allowing the swish of my skirt and the clicking of my heels to serenade my femininity.

I was home by 10:30 p.m. and changed into something more casual, but still feminine (as opposed to a sweat shirt and track pants) and enjoyed tidying up the kitchen and putting everything away.

I did enjoy my chance to go get some fresh air even though I had several obstacles in my way. My confidence went up as the mask provides a sense on anonymity, but in my hyper vigilance of reading reactions, I found no instance of double takes or confused stares that would put me on edge. Many shoppers go about their business unaware of others and I found that I am passable because I try to blend in for my age group and stay confident in knowing I belong. Just like the civilians, I too go about my business unaware of others (though my Spidey sense is always on).

One thing I did realize is that possibly I will seem out of place in the malls from a fashion standpoint. Women have moved to tight sport clothes, casual sweats, jeans and more casual footwear. The stylish woman is either hiding in her home or they too have adopted the new, super casual look. This is a look I don’t think I can pull off and blend into the crowd as I prefer the jacket, skirt and scarf that represents the executive assistant or secretary style.

Maybe I need to lose the extra weight and give the casual look a try. Maybe I also need to abandon the Spanx and girdle and leave the bra behind like todays woman, but then I won’t have a skirt or heels or stockings to make myself feel feminine.

Wearing Böhme

John Inman (right) femulating in British television’s Are You Being Served?

Lots of Lady Shoppers

Out and About and Happy!

As you know, I am a big advocate of getting out there among the civilians and experiencing the world as a woman. Freeing yourself from the closet and breathing in the fresh air is an exhilarating experience. Satisfaction guaranteed – you will love it!

It does my heart good when I see girls like us out and about. So I was very happy when I discovered Janetdarling’s Transhopping Pinterest page with over a thousand photos of us ladies shopping in public and smiling while doing it! 

Sure there is some duplication and there probably are a few cisgender ladies that slipped into Janetdarling’s collection, but discounting those, the quantity of girls out and about is very impressive!

Wearing Zuhair Murad

Benjamin Koldyke and Amaury Nolasco femulating in television’s Work It.

Summer of ’84

Summer of ’84, the ARRL sent me to Metairie, Louisiana, to speak at a ham radio convention. My wife came along, not to hear me speak, but to visit the world’s fair, which was next door in New Orleans. 

After the convention, we spent one day at the fair and another day seeing the sights in New Orleans. After walking around the French Quarter for a few hours, we rested our derrieres on a park bench in Jackson Square. And what to my wandering eyes should appear, but two femulators walking side-by-side through the park. They were dressed in “office girl drag,” that is, skirt suits and high heels with wigs and full makeup. 

Their presentations were convincing, but seemed out of place on that very hot and very humid summer day in the city of New Orleans. In retrospect, they were probably like so many of us – dressed to kill for that one day out en femme that they had been planning for weeks – the weather be damned.

I mention this sighting because it was the first time I had ever seen femulators out and about among the civilians. Until then, the only femulators I had seen were in books, magazines, films and television shows – never in the flesh.

Needless to say, I was impressed and a little jealous. My four public forays en femme were under the protection of Halloween. I never dreamed I would femulate in public on a day that didn’t close out the month of October. Yet, a few years later, I attended my first support group meeting en femme (see photo) and the rest is herstory.

Wearing SheIn

John D. Collins and Nicholas Frankau femulating on British televison’s ’Allo ’Allo.

A Big Win at the Casino

Continuing with our Out and About theme, here is an outing that I completely forgot about until I was browsing through some old blog posts.

Friday, I went to the Mohegan Sun casino to play slots and have fun.

It was a miserable drive from my home to the casino with heavy rain falling the entire trip. The bad weather and slowed traffic added almost 30 minutes to the normal 75-minute trip.

I arrived at the casino at 11 AM and found it busier for midday weekday than it has been in awhile. Either the economy is better or a lot of vacationers abandoned the nearby Long Island Sound beaches for some dry indoor activities.

I played quarter slots for the first 90 minutes and was down about $10. After lunch, I switched to two-cents and one-cent slots and my luck improved. By the time I quit and headed for home, I had $248 more in my purse than when I arrived!

People-wise, I had one very interesting encounter. When I ate lunch – a glass of seltzer and a salad topped with grilled chicken – I sat at the bar rather than at a table in Big Bubba’s BBQ because I wanted to check out all the breweriana on display behind the bar.

Half way through eating my salad, I had a new real life experience! A middle-aged guy sat next to me, ordered a beer and began chatting with me.

I cleared my throat, spoke softly and held up my half of the conversation.

After about 10 minutes, I emptied my glass of seltzer and the guy asked me if he could buy me a drink.

“Where was this going?” I wondered. I did not want to find out, so I played the spoken-for card.

“No thank-you,” I said, “I’m happily married.”

“Is your husband here?” he asked.

“What difference does that make?” I asked.

“Well, he is a very lucky guy.”

“Thank-you,” I said.

"It was nice meeting you.”

“Nice meeting you, too,” I returned.

With that, he paid his bill and left the restaurant.

Wow!

Wearing Jonathan Simkahi

Jenny Shaw out and about at The Magpie Cafe in Whitby, North Yorkshire, England

Out and About in National Parks

Dear Stana and all the readers of Femulate,

I just wanted to say Thank You for your wonderful and supportive blog. Without this support and femulation assistance, I would never have ventured out of my closet.

Over the course of the pandemic, I did sneak away and visit the national parks in the Southwest. While photography was my main reason to travel, Michelle tagged along.

So, here are some pictures of myself at the Grand Canyon last August and Canyonlands National Park last April. Mother nature did extend her fickle hand and teach me a lesson about a woman’s hair style and the destructive nature of wind!

Of note to any photo enthusiast, The image of the Milky Way was taken facing the North and South Windows at Arches National Park. My equipment was a Canon 1DS Mark II, 24mm Tilt-Shift, F stop 2.8, ISO 25600, Swiss Arca Ball Head on Gitzo carbon tripod. I divided this image in 10 overlapping exposures and used 6 of these in the final panoramic image. Photoshop CS6 has all the necessary processing ability and works just fine.

I do recommend all image processing be completed only while femulating and all photoshoots be completed while in boy mode or at least in flats!

Love to all in PRIDE week!

Michelle Rose

Wearing New York & Company

Young femulators using public transportation while out and about.

A B C D

My Father's Day self-gift

I have “boobs.” 

It is likely that gynecomastia is the cause, but I never sought medical advice because as a femulator, I am happy with my breasts. Why mess with success?

Over 20 years ago, I had a bra-fitting and it turned out that I had B cup breasts. But during the past six months, I noticed that my breasts seemed to be getting bigger. So I used a tape measure and an online bra size calculator to determine the current size. The results were surprising: I now have D cups!

The change is not due to weight gain. I weigh almost 30 pounds less than what I weighed when I had B cups measured. 

My D cups are probably due to the decrease in testosterone that most 70-year-old girls like me experience. I wonder what other feminine characteristics await me!

Wearing Unique Vintage

Michelle takes home a “find” from the California Historical Radio Society open house.

How can you laugh when you know I’m down?

I like the Beatles a lot. 

I own most of their 45s, EPs, LPs and CDs. I even own a few cassettes. So I have their official musical library covered, but I want more!

Circa summer of 1970, I discovered bootlegs in, of all places, the army-navy surplus shop on Commercial Street in Provincetown.* I had read about bootlegs in Rolling Stone, but this was my first encounter of illegal vinyl in the flesh. I did not buy any because there were no Beatles’ bootlegs for sale. But arriving on the UCONN campus the following autumn, what was the first thing I checked out after moving into my dorm? 

The library? No.

The classrooms? No

The football stadium? No.

The local record store? Yes!

The store had Beatles’ bootlegs and I bought every one that they sold during my two-year stint in Storrs (my first two years at UCONN were spent at the Waterbury branch).

After Storrs, I continued to purchase bootlegs via mail order, switching from LPs to CDs and over the years, I amassed a large collection. I probably own more Beatles’ bootlegs than legitimate recordings.

But I still want more!

Don’t know how they get away with it, but Amazon sells bootlegs. Perusing their Beatles’ bootlegs, I found something new: an 8 CD set of Beatles’ bootlegs for only $21 (typical Amazon, the price fluctuates and as I write this, it’s now $25). Anyway, I probably have half the contents of those eight CDs already, but not the other half, so I made the purchase and the CDs arrived the next day and I have been enjoying “new” Beatles’ tunes the past few days.

* What was I doing in Provincetown in 1970? Going on a fishing charter boat, believe it or not.

Wearing New York & Company

Wing Han taking a break while shopping in Singapore

T Pride

At Trans Pride

LGBTQ Pride month is half over.

I have never attended an LGBTQ Pride event. I just don’t feel like I belong.

On the other hand, I did attend Trans Pride in Northampton, Massachusetts, and I was thrilled to participate. Those were my peeps and you could feel the love of the trans community. And I would go again if there ever is another local Trans Pride event.

Wearing Paige

Lily Roberts out shopping