Thursday Tomfoolery

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First Gent: Who was that lady I saw you out with last night?

Second Gent: That was no lady; that was my brother.

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How many crossdressers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder to change the lightbulb, one to hold the ladder and one to take photos of the event.

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Did you hear about the crossdresser who wanted a night on the town? He wanted to eat, drink and be Mary.

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When should you discourage your husband from exercising and dieting?

When he wants to fit in your clothes!

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At a busy bus stop, a beautiful young crossdresser wearing a tight leather skirt was waiting for a bus.

As the bus stopped and it was his turn to get on, he became aware that his skirt was too tight to allow his leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.

Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, he reached behind to unzip his skirt a little, thinking that this would give him enough slack to raise his leg.

He tried to again take the step, only to discover that he couldn’t.

So, a little more embarrassed, he once again reached behind to unzip his skirt a little more and for the second time attempted the step. Once again, much to his embarrassment he could not raise his leg.

With a little smile to the driver, he again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to take the step.

About this time, a large guy who was standing behind the crossdresser picked him up by the waist and placed him gently on the step of the bus.

The crossdresser went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and screeched, "How dare you touch my body! I don’t even know who you are!"

The guy smiled, "Well, ma’am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I figured we were friends."

Wearing Paige (Source: Paige)

Garland Strate gets made up for the Mess Guymon Pageant at Guymon (OK) High School in the mid-1960s. (Thank you, Starla, for the photo.) 

The Seamy Side of Crossdressing

Is Marlo Thomas laughing at Ted Bessell's crooked seams?

I have to get something off my chest.

A male gets dressed as a female on a television show or in a film. When he is finished, someone comments that his seams are not straight. In response, our hero checks out his gams, notices the unseemly seam and proceeds to adjust his hosiery to fix his fashion faux pas.

I think the first time I saw that scene was on the television show That Girl. On that show, Marlo Thomas's hapless boyfriend, played by Ted Bessell, had to dress as a woman for some reason and Marlo's father, played by Lew Parker, noted Ted's crooked seam(s).

Since that time, I've seen this scene repeated numerous times and each time I see it, it bothers me.

Why?

Because there are NO SEAMS!!!!!

I admit that you can still find, buy, and wear seamed hosiery (I know it, I've done it), but in every instance in a film or television show where the seam scene plays out, the crossdresser is not wearing seamed hosiery.

After I saw this scene a few times, I thought I was missing something and started looking for seams in my seamless hosiery! When I could not find any seams, I realized that the seam joke was just a carryover from the days when women and crossdressers wore seamed hosiery; I assume the writer(s) think that the joke is so funny that they continue to use the crooked seam joke despite the lack thereof.

Seamless hosiery began replacing seamed hosiery about the same time I started crossdressing. I distinctly remember that the first few pairs of stockings that I borrowed from my mother had seams, then suddenly, she started buying seamless stockings, and not much later than that, she switched to pantyhose that were also seamless.

By the way, this tirade was set off by a photo on flickr that I viewed earlier today in which a crossdresser is straightening his seams (according to the photo caption), yet he is wearing seamless hosiery.

I'm glad I finally got that off my chest. Now I feel better!

Wearing Alexis Kirsten.

Steve Schepis on stage in La Cage Aux Folles.