Following up on “Ginger’s Take” in Tuesday’s post, I wrote to Ginger.
“Your response was revealing, but you really did not answer my question (or I worded it poorly), so let me try again.
“What do gay guys think of girls like me? Do we amuse them? Do we disgust them? Do we impress them with out femulating skills? I ask because I found that gay guys at the few gay bars I have gone to don't seem too friendly. On the other hand, gay women seem to be more friendly.”
Ginger replied.
“Well, I'm probably not the best person to ask. I am a feminine gay man and feminine gays are a small minority in the population of gay men as a whole. Most gay men are masculine and are attracted to other masculine gay men. They don't ‘get it’ why or how gay men want to be feminine and/or why they are attracted to femininity. They don't understand why we don't transition into women. Because they don’t ‘get it’ (and because we are a small minority), they think we are freaks and resemble the homophobic image of what most gay men are like. They think we are the reason why the mainstream won’t accept and recognize gay men as part of the mainstream. We are attacked and beaten up by masculine gay men as we are by homophobic straight men.
“Most crossdressers can’t pass, so if one goes to a gay bar they are not going to receive a warm reception. If you look like a guy wearing woman’s clothes, you (like feminine gay men) present a negative stereotype image. Most of mainstream society believes the majority of crossdressers are gay – and continue to believe it even after being informed that the vast majority are straight, married and have kids.
“There is an exception – drag queens and female impersonators are gay, but don’t crossdress when on dates with men. Crossdressing is their “job” not an expression of a need or desire to be feminine.
“The lack of friendliness or even hostility you sense when you go into a gay bar isn’t your imagination – it’s real. Most don't like transgender people being part of the gay alphabet. ‘If a man completely transitions into becoming a woman and wants to date men, why then are they even aligned with homosexuals?’ they ask.”
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| Wearing Boston Proper |
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| Australian femulator, Lena, in 1973 and 2011 |
