Zooming and Squeeming

Ready to Zoom on Saturday

This past weekend was my ham radio group’s big weekend with a Zoomed board meeting on Thursday and our annual conference Zooming on Friday and Saturday. I missed most of Friday due to family commitments, but I was all in on Thursday and Saturday.

The board meeting was only three hours long, yet I dressed fully en femme even though I would only be seen from mid-torso and up. Saturday was an all-day event (10 AM to 5:30 PM) – the longest I have been fully dressed en femme in a long while.

I wore my Squeem “Perfect Waist” waist cincher both days and I was reminded how comfortable as well effective it is. I also wore my Nine West 4-inch high heel slingback pumps* both days and they were comfortable from beginning to end, so I believe the foot stretching exercises that I do every morning are having an effect.

On the non-wardrobe front, I was visible en femme via Zoom to my fellow board members during the board meeting on Thursday where I was reelected as the group’s secretary for a 19th consecutive term! The board members are used to seeing me en femme via Zoom and in person at Hamvention, so it was not a big deal.

A bigger deal was Zooming en femme to the hundred or so conference attendees, many of whom have never seen me as a woman. Some are probably familiar with my male byline writing for ham radio publications for over 30 years and some are probably familiar with the female byline that I have been using the past 10 years, but not so much my female visage. Either way they seemed very comfortable interacting with me always using the correct pronouns and my female name. So I was very happy with that!

Which reminds me the first time I made a presentation to the public en femme. It was in person at Hamvention in 2018. (Stop me if you heard this story before.) 

After the presentation, a fellow came over to talk to me. He is a member of our organization and I have probably seen him at every Hamvention I have attended during the past 10 to 15 years.

The gent asked me, “How are you related to Stan Horzepa?”

I sure did not see that coming. It was music to my ears.

* An Amazon Associate link

Wearing Jonathan Simkhai

Dick Shawn femulating in the 1984 film Angel.
You can view the film on YouTube.

I’m Back

There were no new posts here since Thursday because I was otherwise occupied.

My ham radio organization sponsors an annual conference that usually attracts 100 to 125 attendees. This year, Charlotte, North Carolina was the site for the conference, but we cancelled it due to the COVID-19 pandemic.

Instead, we did the conference online using Zoom Webinar. The conference was on Friday and Saturday and was very successful attracting nearly 300 attendees and generating kudos galore. But it involved a lot of hard work.

When we do an in-person conference, we hire a hotel as the venue and they do a lot of the heavy-lifting. In our do-it-yourself online conference, “we” had to do all the heavy-lifting, “we” being the ten officers and directors of the organization.

I spent Thursday through Sunday creating email and webpage announcements concerning the conference and Saturday, I was a moderator for the conference presentations. Needless to say, I had little time to devote to this blog except to moderate any comments that you all posted.

By the way, I presented as a woman from head to toe throughout the conference despite the fact that I was only visible online from the chest and up.

It was a long weekend and after doing some post-conference work Sunday morning, I crashed in front of the television watching the Patriots and old movies! But I'm back today and so it goes.

Wearing Boston Proper

Alan Manson and fellow femulators in the 1943 film This is the Army
You can view the film in its entirety on YouTube.

Tower Envy

In my previous post, Ann Onymous left the following comment:

Here's my two part question, Stana. 

1. Do you think that had you from the get-go in life been allowed to live as a girl/woman you would have developed an interest in HAM radio? 

2. Had you been born with an XY [sic] chromosome body do you think you'd have developed that interest? 

I'm not trying to be provocative, I've always been curious about traditionally male/female activities and how those intersect with gender identity.

My interest in radio was sparked by two things.

👧   My childhood home was located in the shadow of the towers of AM radio station WATR. The towers were an imposing presence in my early life; so much so that I wanted my own radio tower.

👧   My parents gifted me a Remco AM radio kit for Christmas when I was about 10-years-old. Living so close to WATR, its signal swamped my Remco radio and it was the only station I could hear. However, I discovered that WATR went off the air early Sunday mornings for maintenance and I could hear other stations on my Remco. Thus began my interest in receiving distant radio stations (DX).

If I lived as a girl or had been born a girl, I guess that instead of a radio kit, my parents would have given me a makeup kit, as well as dolls, toy kitchen appliances, etc., that is, gifts like my sister received. (For what it's worth, I played with my sister's "girls'" toys almost as often as I played with my own toys.)

My sister, my only sibling who was 18 months my junior, was not fascinated by the imposing radio towers located on the next block. If I lived as a girl or had been born a girl, would I be disinterested in those towers, too?

Was my interest in those towers a "guy thing"?

Or since I was so naturally feminine, was it penis envy?

(Some food for thought, but I don't think I answered Ann's questions!)

Wearing Leal Daccarett (Source: Moda Operandi)

Members of the Oslo gay mens chorus (Oslo fagottkor) femulating for a Mad Men parody.

Alison's Weekend

By Alison, WA1YKL

This past weekend, I attended one of the largest Amateur Radio "hamfests" in the northeast. Its known currently as Nearfest, the New England Amateur Radio Festival, in Deerfield, New Hampshire It's a twice a year chance to paw over old and new radio and electronics equipment of all types, attend a seminar and meet many old friends.

Although I dressed primarily in "boy" mode, one ham who I met, also in "drab," must have taken notice of my long hair, pink nails, and long earrings. He carefully asked me if I was in transition. To which I replied,that I was only a "part timer." That was enough to break the ice and we had a very nice chat about the options for exploring gender identity and how this seems to becoming more common for those of us in the 50+ age bracket, including some hams!

I also had a prearranged meeting with another ham sister, Stephanie, who I had met recently online.  We chatted about our common interests in dressing and radio. I also invited her to attend a local Tri Ess meeting.

In addition to seeing all of the radio "stuff," I enjoy going to Nearfest as a way to reconnect with many old friends and colleagues, some who I have known for over 30 years.

On the second day, as the weather was much warmer, I wore a tee shirt with the First Event name and logo on it. While it didn't attract any mention from other sisters, it did not garner any rude comments from the mostly cisgender hams either.

Wearing Polo.

Peter Sramek on Hungarian television's Sztarban Sztar.

It Fits

The dress I ordered online from Dress Barn arrived and fit perfectly. It is gorgeous and will be the dress I wear when I accept my award at Hamvention next month. I just have to decide how to accessorize.

Wearing BCBGeneration.

The 2016 Miss Koovagam Transgender Beauty Contest in Villupuram, India.

The Voice

...not!

As I mentioned here last week, I am the recipient of a ham radio award, the 2016 Special Achievement Award. I will receive the award when I make my annual trip to Dayton, Ohio, in May to attend Hamvention.

I viewed last year's awards dinner on YouTube and saw how the attendees were dressed ― men in jackets and ties, women in dresses or tops and skirts.  I also noticed that each award recipient spoke briefly  (5 minutes, more or less) after they received their award.

I will have no problem speaking for 5 minutes; I could probably speak for 55 minutes, but it is how I will speak that is a little worrisome. I plan to accept the award as a woman, so in addition to looking like a woman, I should speak like a woman, too, don't you think?

Many years ago, I bought Melanie Anne Phillips VHS video course "Melanie Speaks," which is intended to teach you how to speak like a woman. I watched the video and was impressed with the Melanie's method, but finding free time to practice with the video at home was a problem. So I copied the audio portion of the course to a cassette tape and practiced during my 35-minute commute to and from work.

In about three weeks, I got the hang of it and the voice that came out of my mouth was scary... in a good way! I sounded like a natural born woman!

Although I could sound like a woman, I seldom used that voice because I was embarrassed to do so with friends and acquaintances who were familiar with my usual soft male voice. And when I was out among civilians, my soft male voice usually did not give me away. So why bother?

But I think I will bother for the award ceremony as well as my whole weekend in Dayton. I want to make a good impression. Dressing as a woman, but speaking like a man would impress, but not in a good way.

So as a refresher, I listened to Melanie's course again and have been practicing and practicing and practicing some more. I am using a digital voice recorder to hear what I sound like and I think I am sounding pretty, pretty good. When I reach the point of no return, I will post an audio clip for all of you to hear and critique.

Wearing Forever 21.

Freddie Fenwick, Arthur Holland, Leonard Young and Ross Hamilton entertain Canadian
troops during World War I appearing as "The Dumbells" in The Duchess Entertains.

A Major Award

Going out to dinner during the 2010 Hamvention

This is huge! I just won the ham radio equivalent of an Oscar!

Frank Beafore, chairman for the 2016 Hamvention® awards has announced winners for the annual Hamvention awards convocation.

...

Special Achievement Award: Stan Horzepa, WA1LOU

The Special Achievement Award recognizes WA1LOU as an advocate for cutting edge technologies that are now commonly used in amateur radio. Stan authored five books and wrote over 1,200 pieces for the ARRL and TAPR while evangelizing the use of home computers, packet radio, APRS, Digital Signal Processing (DSP) and Software Defined Radio (SDR) in amateur radio. Licensed in 1969 as WN1LOU, Stan has sampled almost every entrée on the ham radio menu and served in a slew of roles including Section Manager of Connecticut. Presently, Stan is a director and secretary for TAPR and serves as editor of TAPR’s newsletter (PSR). “LOU” has driven the 735 miles to Hamvention most years since 1978 and looks forward to doing so forever. “My fondest memories of ham radio are rubbing elbows and making friends with the makers and shakers of our hobby who show up at Hamvention every year.”

I received a phone call two weeks ago informing me that I won the award, but I was asked to keep it to myself until an official announcement was made, which occurred on Friday.

When I took the call, I was floored. The award was totally unexpected and is a very big thing. I follow in the footsteps of astronauts, scientists, broadcasters and a U.S Senator who have won Hamvention awards in the past. I was so excited that I was physically shaking hours after receiving the news.

I informed the fellow who phoned me that I was trans, have been attending Hamvention as a woman since 2010 and would there be a problem? He was surprised, but did not think it would be a problem. However, he said he would pass that information along to the awards committee.

I waited for the other shoe to drop, but the only thing that happened was that the awards chairman asked me for a photo and a short biography to use on the Hamvention website and in 25,000 copies of the printed Hamvention program book.

I don't know all that winning the award entails. I hope free parking, but I do know that I will attend an awards dinner during Hamvention and that I will be presented with the award at the end of the event in an arena full of all the attendees who are still around. (There is usually a good crowd because the awards ceremony is followed by the prize drawing.)

My only concern now is what to wear to the awards dinner!

Wearing Boston Proper.

Allied Prisoners of World War II at Stalag 383

Happy Birthday, Donna Reed

What young femulator of a certain age didn't want to be Donna Reed when they grew up?

11 Million

Femulate just passed another milestone: 11,000,000 hits according to the hit counter!
On average, 5,100 visitors viewed the blog each day during the past month. By far, the most popular of the blog's 3,570 posts  is "feminine skirts and dresses for men" with nearly 300,000 views and over 200 comments!

The USA, United Kingdom, Canada, Germany, Australia, Russia, India, France, Spain and Netherlands, in that order, are the top ten countries where this blog's readers live. Femulate must be giving Google Translate a workout!

The success of this blog still amazes me as its 9th anniversary approaches. I guess I must be doing something write.

In the Log

In addition to the six trans hams who left comments to Monday's ham radio post, I also received emails from three trans hams in response to the post.

What impressed me was the willingness of the commenters to include their call signs in their comments. The times must be changing because I don't think many transwoman would  go public with their call signs a few years ago.

By the way, my call sign was in Morse Code at the end of that post. I used Morse Code to fool the robots trolling the Internet, but I guess I could have used WA-one-LOU or somesuch to accomplish the same thing.

Wearing Hayden & More.

Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, and Grayson Perry, CBE

CQ

It snowed here Saturday. About 4 to 5 inches, but at one point , the forecast was as high as 12 inches. I do not travel in snow (or potential snow) if I can avoid it, so I did not drive to the Boston area to attend First Event.

One of my regular correspondents, Alison, WA1YKL, did attend. She is a ham radio operator like me. She wore a badge displaying her call sign while attending First Event to see if any other ham radio operators in attendance would take notice and make a connection with her.

Her strategy worked. Another ham noticed the badge and they had an “eyeball QSO” (translation: meeting another ham in person rather than via the radio). Alison also ran into another trans ham who she knew previously from Tri Ess.

I have been attending ham radio conventions and meetings as a woman since 2010 and I always wear a badge displaying my call sign, as do most of the hams attending such events. I blend in as a middle-aged female ham and other trans hams who no know better, don’t pay me much mind.

But hams who read this blog and attend the same ham events as I attend have made an effort to find me at those events for an eyeball QSO. In that scenario, I have had eyeball QSOs with about 20 other trans hams including a couple who attended as women.

And over the years, I have had encounters with perhaps another 20 trans hams. Two were local hams who I had known for years — we were in the same ham radio club — then one day, they each showed up en femme at my support group’s meeting!

So, I am curious: how many trans hams are there? If you are a trans ham radio operator, just leave a comment saying so (with or without your call sign) or do the same with an e-mail.

-.. .  .-- .- .---- .-.. --- ..-

Wearing Veronica Beard.

Alex Lutz and Bruno Sanches in French television's Catherine et Liliane.

Big Day Out

Saturday, I spoke at a meeting of the operators of a ham radio network that covers the Northeast. As I wrote here Thursday, this would be different than when I attend and staff a booth at the ham radio convention (Hamvention) in Dayton, Ohio.

“I have some anonymity at the convention. I appear to be just another middle-aged woman attending the convention. Only if a civilian examines my name badge, recognizes my call sign, and then puts two and two together, do they realize that I am not the ham I used to be.”

Saturday, “I will not be anonymous at the meeting. My name and call sign will be announced before I speak…”

Knowing hams, I assumed that the attendees would be dressed in weekend casual garb. Since I was representing and evangelizing the ham radio group in which I am the secretary, board member and newsletter editor, I wanted to make a good impression, so I dressed a little better than weekend casual.

I wore the new zip front dress I bought at Dress Barn last week and accessorized with an animal print scarf from Avon, nude high heel pumps from Payless, a gold retro style watch from Avon and a pair of vintage retro style gold earrings. (The accompanying photo is how I looked before I left home for the meeting.) And I was correct — all the attendees wore weekend casual garb — one fellow even wore sweats.

I arrived at the meeting site, American Red Cross Headquarters in Farmington, Connecticut, ten minutes before the start of the meeting at 9 AM. There were four or five attendees already in the meeting room. In all, 14 attended myself included, ranging in age from mid-30s to the mid-70s. There was one other woman; she also was a ham and the wife of one of the other attendees.

I introduced myself and everyone was polite to the stranger (me). But no one engaged me in conversation. My guess is that they did not put two and two together and had no idea who I was.

About an hour into the meeting, I gave my 15-minute presentation. When I was done, some of the attendees were no longer polite — they now knew who I was and talked ham radio topics with me.

The fellow sitting next to me, who had ignored me up to that point, began talking to me like we were old friends. It turned out that we were old acquaintances. I recognized his call sign and realized that we had conversed over the airwaves using Morse code a number of times over 30 years ago!

When I left, the attendees thanked me for coming to their meeting and really seemed pleased that I had come.

I don’t think it could have gone any better. I never mentioned that I was transgender and everyone seemed to accept me as I appeared. No one confronted me about my past history as a male.

The only bad thing is that I completely forgot to take photos at the meeting!

I promised my wife that I would buy some groceries after the meeting and a Stop & Shop is on my way home.

Since I was on a roll, I decided to go grocery shopping as a woman instead of driving home, changing into boy mode and driving back to Stop & Shop. I hesitated momentarily because I was overdressed for grocery shopping, but I decided to throw caution to the wind and went grocery shopping anyway.

During 15 minutes of shopping, I noticed three or four guys checking me out, but no one else paid much attention to me until I queued up to check out. After I emptied my shopping cart onto the conveyor belt, I noticed the woman ahead of me look down at my shoes. Then she looked at me and remarked, “You are a brave woman to wear those heels to go grocery shopping!”

I didn’t know what to say, so I just smiled at her. She didn’t know it, but she just made my great day that much greater.

Still on a roll, after I loaded the groceries into my car, I drove to the Stop & Shop gasoline station and pumped gas in my pumps.

Nadia