Someday Funnies: En Femme Everyone on October Thirty-One

Wearing Boston Proper

Colin Baker femulating Marlene Dietrich on British television’s This Morning.
You can view this femulation on YouTube.

Swingin’ ’60’s Chick

In honor of our favorite holiday on Sunday, I am reposting past Halloween posts every Friday in October. The following is a repost from my old blog, dated October 2006.

Saturday was fabulous!

My makeup went on flawlessly. I think that after 40 years, I am starting to get the hang of it! I was trying to achieve that big eye look that was popular back in the late 1960’s and I think I did a good job of replicating it. False eyelashes were the key to achieving the look. I was very happy with the results.

Darn fishnets started tearing as soon as I pulled them up over my fanny, but the tear was in the crotch and did not spread, so I left well enough alone. After I put on the dress and the boots, I looked just like another swingin’ chick of the ’60’s!

I was ready to go at 5:30 PM, which was much too early for heading out to my support group’s meeting/party, so I decided to visit my friends Patty and Ron and let them see my costume. I called to make sure they would be home (they would) and then I hit the road.

I wanted to stop and buy some pastry for the party. I remembered that the local IGA’s have nice pastry, so I stopped at the IGA in Southington to shop for the sweets. Note well that with my go-go boots, I am about 6 feet 5 inches tall and dressed unlike anyone else in the store. I walked to the extreme opposite corner of the store where the bakery was located and I did not notice anyone noticing me, neither customers or store staff.

I picked up some strawberry and cheese mini-Danishes and proceeded to the cashier. There were two lines, each with about 4 or 5 customers. As is my way, I managed to choose the slow line and was stuck right behind an elderly couple who were taking their sweet time unloading their shopping cart.

A 30-something woman in the other line noticed me and smiled while checking me out intently. I don’t know if she was smiling because she liked my costume or because she realized I was male. I was hoping that we would leave the store at the same time and that she might say something, but with Ma and Pa taking their sweet time in front of me, she was long gone by the time I checked out.

As Ma was removing the last item from her carriage, she noticed me, gave me the once over, then turned to the business at hand, i.e., paying the cashier.

I was next. The male cashier asked, “How I was doing this evening?” and showed no signs that he knew I was crossdressed. I paid for the pastry and exited the store truly amazed at how anti-climatic it all had been.

I visited Patty and Ron and met their two bijon frise dogs. Everyone including the dogs, seemed to like my costume.

Then, I headed up to West Hartford for the party. There was a nice crowd... about 15 to 20 people, most in costume. It seemed that almost everyone brought some goodies to eat. It was quite a sweet spread!

I received a number of compliments for my costume and makeup. That was nice!

I guess most everyone had a good time because the meeting/party did not break up until after 11 PM, which is the latest I have ever seen a support group meeting break up.

Wearing New York & Company

Couple crossdressed for Halloween

Teri’s Halloween Adventure

By Teri Lynn

Halloween 2004 was a great experience for me. What a stroke of luck! Thursday evening I tried numerous outfits on at home to see what to wear the next day. Several times in the past, I had mentioned to my wife that someday I was going to show up at her staff lunch at work dressed as a woman. She thought that might be risky and the staff would harass her and me forever. 

My wife went to work dressed as a fat male, Western sheriff – fat created by a pillow to hide the boobs. Most of her co-workers did not recognize her. We fixed a mustache for her (with wig hair), she penciled in some bushy eyebrows and even had an old Western hat and sheriff’s badge. 

At lunch, one of the office staff asked, “So what is your husband dressing as for the party – a girl?” 

She replied, “Matter-of-fact, yes.”  

Next thing I know my cell phone is ringing and she told me what happened, then she asked me where I was. I told her I was out shopping close to her school and I asked her whether I should stop by. She said that the girls were curious to see what I looked like, so over I went. 

When I got to her school, I stopped at the office and when the secretary asked if she could help me, I said that my car broke down and could I borrow her phone book to get a tow truck number. She got the phone book for me. Then I asked her if she knew of a good tow company. She did not. 

Then I said, “Well, maybe I could just get the phone number of Joy (my wife) and perhaps she could give me a ride home.’ 

It still didn’t click with her who she was talking to. She said, “Joy?” 

“Yes,” I said and she went to her desk to get the number. 

At that point, in my normal voice, I said, “Sue, it’s me” 

She gasped and said, “I don’t believe it. You look beautiful! Who did you hair like that? You even did your nails. Are you wearing a skirt?” 

Sue came around the counter to get a better look. “I love it. You look better in a skirt than I do!”

She asked whether I had stopped in at my wife’s class yet. I told her I had and added that I had just come from a salon where they made me up for a party tonight. (My wife didn’t want them to think I do this regularly, so I used that for an excuse.) Sue said that I looked marvelous and should have no trouble winning a prize. (Ha ha, if she only knew!)

I left, to continue shopping. The phone rang again and my wife told me that several of the other women heard about me and were disappointed that they missed seeing me. She also said that the secretaries thought I had nice legs. I asked whether I should come back and she suggested I could do that. 

Back I go. This time the secretary and my wife were standing outside waiting for me. I had to trek right past the principal, who was also outside. 

Again Sue commented on how nice I looked. (Well, I didn’t get to this stage overnight, but we won‘t tell her that.) This time, another secretary came over with her camera and took pictures of my wife and I. Wait ‘til that makes the rounds at the school.

The ice is broken and no one died of embarrassment. Who knows, maybe they will insist I come to the annual staff Christmas dinner as Teri. My wife said, “No” to that wishful thought, but maybe she can talk them into a New Year’s party. 

I'm sure it won't be long before my daughter finds out. When she is home on college breaks, she usually spends a day with my wife in class. It won’t take but a second for someone to mention how I looked on Halloween. I hope she is not shocked/repulsed by it all. In the past, when she had seen crossdressers on TV, she made comments that she thought it was crazy. Once she knows, I know we will have our long overdue talk. Then, hopefully, I can get out when she is home for school breaks, especially for events like New Year's Eve. 

I sure hope they at least request that I come back for Halloween as Teri. 

By the way, our daughter only went to the school once or twice to help out, but no one must have said anything – at least she didn’t‘t mention anything about it to me.

Do you have an interesting Halloween story? I’d love to read it and share it with my readers. And don’t forget to send along a photo or two from your holiday in heels.

Wearing Julia Jordan

Huntz Hall, Leo Gorcey, Benny Bartlett, David Gorcey and Gil Stratton (“The Bowery Boys”) femulating in the 1952 film Hold That Line. You can view the film’s trailer on YouTube.

Happy Halloween

Angela’s Saloon Girl Femulation

By Angela Booth

Living here in the U.K., Halloween is only a low-key event prior to Bonfire Night, which is a week later. Us Brits make huge bonfires and burn effigies of some unpopular celebrity or politician in celebration of the Gunpowder Plot where, in 1605, Guy Fawkes tried to blow up Parliament.

In the last decade or so, the American trick or treat has become a part of the calendar where ghoulish kids knock on doors for treats. Occasionally, moms would dress in ghoulish costumes with their children, but the dads in girlish costumes has never caught on.

Halloween 2009, a co-worker announced that she was having a party and said “Come as you aren’t.” The office buzzed with anticipation – what were they going to wear? There was quite a spectrum of outfits being considered. Most of the guys decided on macho things and I wasn’t sure what I would do.

One morning, I was in the office and happened on a couple of the girls chatting about the party. They were saying that they had decided on a Western saloon girl theme. I was asked what I was going as. I told them I hadn’t a clue and one of the girls said they’d dress me up if I wanted. I chuckled and jokingly said I would consider it. 

Nearer the event I had to make up my mind and when asked again about the Western theme, I said I would think about it. I told them I had a sister who was in amateur theatrics and would see what she could do for an outfit from the theater’s wardrobe. This was actually true, but I knew I had a wardrobe of my own at home and I was going to do it.

I looked online and bought a dress and some accessories from a fancy dress outlet. I had a suitable wig and everything else required. I had a corset style hip and bum enhancer and my usual bust enhancer. Sparkly black hose and a pair of high heels finished the outfit off nicely. I made up and topped it all off with wig. I sat there and started to have second thoughts as no one knew about my other self. Would I give the game away?

I took a deep breath and grabbed my purse and walked out of the door to my car. When I pulled up outside my friend’s address, you could hear the music coming from the house and the party was in full swing.

I stood at the door and pressed the bell. The door opened and The Incredible Hulk answered. It was one of my co-workers. He looked at me and offered me in. He told me the hostess was in the kitchen and walked off. I do not think he realized who I was. 

I walked into the kitchen where it was busy with a lot of my friends and I stood there and looked around. No one came over and apart from a few glances, there was no reaction. I looked at my friend and she gave me a puzzled look then realized – gave a shriek of surprise and came dashing over. It was then that the others realized, too. They were gushing and amazed at how I looked. Even my male co-workers were amazed. 

Of course, they asked how I had been made up and I used the excuse my sister did it. They bought it and it was great party and I was in seventh heaven.

In the days after the party, the pictures did the rounds and I was talked about but not one person made any suggestion or inference that I was too good or asked if I had done this before. It was passed off as a night of fun and life went on. 

There is a postscript to this: I ended up coming out to this friend within a year and this changed my future. It really did.

Do you have an interesting Halloween story? I’d love to read it and share it with my readers. And don’t forget to send along a photo or two from your holiday in heels.

Wearing H&M

Angela's saloon girl Halloween femulation

Suburban Housewife in Fishnets

My state’s (Connecticut) “Sexy Suburban Housewife” is a challenge I would like to attempt! Since I was able to pull off “office girl drag” successfully, I think “sexy suburban housewife” is doable, too. Don’t you?

Wearing Macy's

Michael A. Andrews and Tracy Robert Austin femulating in the 1985 film Avenging Angel
You can view the film on YouTube.

My Halloween Costumes

Whenever I attended a civilian Halloween event, I dressed like a woman on the street (and I don't mean a street-walker). For example, my Halloween costume for work was always “office girl drag,” that is, I tried to emulate how women typically dress for the office.

On the other hand, whenever I attended a trans Halloween event (like a support group Halloween party), I dressed in a costume that a woman might wear on Halloween. For example, for my support group's past Halloween parties, I dressed as a school girl, Marilyn Monroe, Jacqueline Kennedy, French maid, bat girl  and Playboy bunny, among other things.

Why?

For trans Halloween events, the answer is easy.

I dressed in a costume a woman might wear because in the trans world, I normally dressed as a woman. As a result, a “woman on the street” costume would not be a costume (unless I dressed like a street-walker).

For civilian Halloween events, the answer is more complicated.

I could have dressed in a costume a woman might wear for civilian Halloween events, but I never have.

Like many of us, my first forays in public en femme were on Halloween. Just dressing as a woman among civilians was a major accomplishment and the thrill of a lifetime of anticipation.

In theory, dressing in a costume a woman might wear rather than in office girl drag might result in fewer knowing looks that imply that I crossdress more often than just October 31. But I always femulate too well, not like the average guy in drag on Halloween, so I got lots of those knowing looks no matter what I wore.

I'm not sensitive about it. If someone confronts me, I come right back with “Normally, I only crossdress on weekends” and they don't know what to say.

So, dressing like a woman on the street for civilian Halloween events does not buy me much with regard to fooling anyone about my proclivity to crossdress. However, the comment, “who is the woman (referring to me) not wearing a costume” never gets old.

Dressing like a woman on the street for civilian events has become my personal Halloween tradition. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

(Caveat Emptor: This is a rewritten post from the past.)

Femulating properly in Boston Proper

Martin Weiss femulating in the 2004 German film Agnes and His Brothers.
You can view the film’s trailer on YouTube.

Halloween Redux

I subscribe to GoComics, which sends me a daily email of comic strips that I like to read. Some are current (Dick Tracy) and some are vintage (Nancy).

One strip I read is The Meaning of Lila, which isn't exactly vintage, but isn't current either – it ran for nine years (2003-2012). For the past few days, the strip had a Halloween theme with Lila and her friend Boyd attending a Halloween party. Here is the strip I received on Friday:

I thought it was interesting in that Friday's strip addressed the issue of girls like us dressing as convincing women on Halloween and as a result, bringing up the question of our sexuality among the civilians.

It certainly has happened to me.

I recall attending a Halloween party at law school en femme. A classmate also attended en femme. His costume was a joke (big party balloon breasts, fright wig, no makeup, etc.), whereas my costume was up to my usual standards of trying to be as convincing as possible.

The partygoers reacted accordingly. Whereas they joked and made rude comments about my classmate's costume, the same people reacted differently to my costume. Most people did not say anything; they just stared at me, seemed to be in awe and were speechless.

One friend did say that he did not realize how feminine my male speech and mannerisms were until I dressed as a woman and now my appearance matched my personality!

Also, I had to fight off the advances of one of the band members who wanted to have his way with me. Not sure if he was a transvestite chaser or he thought I was a cisgender woman, but either way, it was my first encounter with a male admirer and it sure made me think about my sexuality.

Wearing Alexis strapless linen romper (Source: Moda Operandi)

Rachel shopping for that perfect Halloween costume.
(Send me a photo of your all-time favorite Halloween femulation and I will post it here, too.)