At Work En Femme

Halloween is “National Crossdresser’s Day,” so they say. I guess there is some truth in that because my first public crossdressed outing was on Halloween and I know many other crossdressers also poked their bewigged heads out of the closet for the first time on October 31. And over the years, I have continued to crossdress on Halloween to attend parties given by friends and COS. But, Halloween 2000 was different. 

One week before Halloween, my company announced that they were sponsoring a day of Halloween events including a costume contest. In all my years of being gainfully employed, no employer of mine had ever sanctioned wearing costumes to work on Halloween. I know some of you have gone to work en femme on Halloween and I often considered it, but I never had the nerve to do it. However, this year, I could go to work en femme with the blessing of the boss! T’was a crossdresser’s dream-come-true.

There was no doubt that my costume would be en femme, but how en femme was the question. I considered my options and decided to dress appropriately for my workplace, which is an office. My costume would be “office girl drag.”

I had a plenty of outfits that qualified as office girl drag, so I went through my stash to decide what to wear. I narrowed my choices down to three outfits. To make the final decision, I slipped into my unmentionables and modeled each outfit. My wife and I agreed that the black print, short-sleeved, knee-length sheath looked best. To round out the ensemble, I chose tan pantyhose and a pair of black patent pumps with 3-1/2-inch spike heels.

The night before Halloween, I prepared for the next day. I depilated, combed out my wig and laid everything out so I could get ready as quickly as possible Halloween morning. I turned in early because I had set the alarm clock for 4:45 AM to give me enough time to depart for work at 7:15 fully made-up and dressed. However, turning in early did no good because I was so excited I had a hard time falling asleep. It was after 2 AM before I finally nodded off and I woke up 15 minutes before the alarm clock was set.

I got up, shaved, showered and applied my makeup. For a change, I made no makeup errors and was finished by 6:15. I put on my undies, dress, shoes and wig, then I checked myself out in a full-length mirror. Was that Nicole Kidman’s reflection in the mirror? Not quite, but when I squinted real hard, I thought I saw Nicole Kidman’s mother.

Last thing to do was my nails. I glued press-on nails to my pinky and ring fingers, then I had an incredibly hard time gluing the nails to my middle fingers. None of the press-ons fit quite right and the glue could not make up the difference. Time was running out, so I decided to forgo the nails. After removing the press-ons from my pinky and ring fingers, I grabbed my purse and hit the pavement.

The commute was uneventful and I arrived at work 15 minutes early. I exited my car and walked to the main entrance enjoying the feminine beat of my heels clicking on the sidewalk.

Inside, the first people I encountered were our receptionist and a woman from Human Resources, who were lining up pumpkins for the carved pumpkin contest. At first neither of them recognized me. Then, they both recognized me and started gushing over my costume. So far, so good.

I went upstairs to my cubicle. Since I was early, there was no one around to see me, so I went to the cubicle of one of my best friends at work (she is one of the few people who gets to work earlier than I). I stuck my head around the corner of her cubicle and said, “Trick or treat.” She was floored!

After she regained her composure, she began calling me “Stella” and insisted on escorting me to the cubicles where other early birds were already at work. Our first stop was her boss, who had been with the company about six months. I don’t work directly with him, but he is only three cubicles away from me and we cross each other’s paths each day. My friend pushed me into his cubicle and he had no clue. At first he thought I was a new female employee, but my friend blew my cover, “Don’t you recognize him?” He didn’t until I explained that I was the guy three cubicles away.

And that was the way it went all day long. A tall woman in a Halloween costume environment is a dead giveaway. As a result, the majority read me as a man in drag, but did not know which man until I showed them the mug shot on my security card. On the other hand, a minority did not read me at all including some folks that I work with on a regular basis.

By mid-morning, the word was out that there was a guy in drag upstairs and a procession of onlooker began marching up to my cubicle to check me out. (No other guys appeared in drag. In fact, only a handful of guys wore costumes at all. On the other hand, the woman had a lot more Halloween spirit and approximately 1 out of 4 women appeared in costume.)

In general, women loved my costume. Some were amazed that I shaved my legs and my arms. Others complimented me on my makeup and some asked, “Did your wife do your makeup?”

“No, I did it myself,” I responded, which caused further amazement.

A few remarked that I should quit my job and become a professional female impersonator! One woman said, “I made her day,” and she returned to my cubicle three times with two or three new onlookers in tow each time. A pretty administrator remarked, “You look better than most women I know.” That made my day!

I don’t think I fooled everyone. A few women gave me knowing looks… like they knew I looked too good to have only done this once. But, I didn’t mind. 

On the male side, the majority appreciated my costume, but there were two or three who seemed to be phobic about it… typical macho twaddle, I guess.

Shortly after getting to work, my pantyhose began running like crazy! I don’t know if they were defective or I was careless, but by 10 AM, I had three runs that were getting bigger by the minute. I wanted to look my best, so I left the building for a few minutes and drove to a nearby CVS to buy a new pair.

Now, this is the scary part because the CVS was not having a Halloween costume contest. I parked the car and walked into the CVS passing a handful of people who paid me no mind. I entered the store and to avoid causing a commotion, I went to the first saleswoman I saw and explained that I ran the pantyhose of my Halloween costume and needed a new pair. 

“Hosiery is in aisle eight, Ma’am,” she replied unfazed by my Halloween costume hint.

I guess I was not going to cause a commotion, so I went to aisle eight, picked out a pair (only $1.99), then I went to the register where the same saleswoman rang me up without a clue.

Now, here is the amazing part. I never used a femme voice. I spoke in my normal male voice, which is admittedly soft-spoken, but definitely male. I guess the saleswoman’s eyes convinced her that I was a woman no matter what clues her ears might be picking up. (I had read about this phenomenon, but did not believe it until I actually experienced it.)

I returned to my office and waited for the results of the costume contest. A lot of people said they would vote for me and I guess they did because I won. I thought there were three or four costumes that were better than mine, but I guess having the guts to wear the costume I wore was that little extra that pushed me over the top.

I felt a little guilty about that because it did not take any guts to do what I did. This was something I wanted to do for a very long time. I also felt like I cheated a little because this wasn’t a costume I put together overnight. I’ve had practice dressing like this for years.

I’ll admit that I did have some qualms about possibly losing the respect of some of my colleagues. But when I thought about it, if somebody lost respect for me because I crossdressed on Halloween, then I don’t want their respect. So, qualms be damned! Tighten that corset as tight as you can. Today you are a woman!

I made one fashion blunder… my choice of footwear. I had not worn that particular pair of high heels in such a long time that I had forgotten why I stopped wearing them. Because they hurt a lot in a very short time! I have other pumps with the same heel height and even higher that don’t hurt like that pair did. The only saving grace is that I did not have to get up and walk around too much. I could just sit at my desk and pose for my admirers whenever they showed up.

However, I regret that I did not wear more comfortable shoes because I wanted to go to the mall, have lunch at the food court and do some window-shopping. But by noon, my feet were so hobbled that walking around the mall would have been very ugly.

I also had a fashion revelation. Wearing a tight corset all day was quite painless. The corset did inhibit movement, but it did not cause any aches or pains (like my shoes and clip-on earrings), while improving my figure immeasurably. 

I had the time of my life. I wished the day would never end, but it did and now I have a lot of wonderful memories about my first day at work en femme.

Wearing Shein

Jordan Peele and Keegan-Michael Key femulating on television’s Key and Peele.

Stuff 86: A Beauty Pageant

By J.J. Atwell

Part 1 - The Setup

Welcome to what will be a three part series about a crossdresser beauty pageant. 

Have you ever participated in one? I have and it was a lot of fun! Our local CD group, FEM Florida, has a yearly pageant. Well, yearly at least for the past two years, with number three coming up in November. 

I think competing in a beauty pageant is probably on every CD’s dream list. I unfortunately had to miss the first year it was held, but was able to enter last year. It was really a fun, but nervous, experience. As I write this, I am in the middle of planning for this year’s contest. But for now, let me tell you more about last year’s event. 

Here’s How It Worked

The “competition” was judged by five people and was conducted in four parts: interview with the judges, Sunday best, beach wear and talent. Those roughly correspond with the standard female beauty contest categories with Sunday best being more equivalent to formal wear and beach wear being substituted for swimsuits. That latter change was because the organizers didn’t want to worry about “fall out” as none of the contestants really have the body to pull off a typical skimpy female suit since we lack real boobs and have to hide that nasty bulge at the crotch. 

The panel of judges comprised three men and two women. They individually rated each contestant as they did each part. At the end, the judges compiled their scores and announced the results. I’ll cover that more in part three. 

So the call was put out to the membership with the date being set for a Saturday night in November at our secure clubhouse location. It turned out that we had six contestants, one of which was last year’s winner. 

Each contestant came with their own sash, most with imaginative names. We had names like Miss Understood, Miss Steak and Miss Lead. As an aside, I write a column in my group’s monthly newsletter entitled “Nothing,” which is similar to what I write about here in Stuff. With that background, I decided to participate under the name of Miss Nothing. 

In keeping with that concept, I purposely did not wear a sash. Instead, I gestured to the nonexistent sash every time my stage name was mentioned. Dumb? Well maybe so, but I thought it was a touch of humor. More on that later. 

I’ll Be Back

More about the beauty contest is coming up in part two next week. The picture at the top of this page is me in my Sunday Best. In the meantime, I welcome comments either here on the blog or by email to Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com.

Wearing Rebecca Taylor

Marty Thomas femulating on stage in Pageant: The Musical.

Stuff 85: Soaring

By J.J. Atwell

Caution: Philosophical Discussion

Today I’d like to venture a bit off the path of my usual musings. I’ve mentioned in the past that sometimes my mind goes off in different directions. For some reason, the early 70’s novella Jonathan Livingston Seagull popped into my head. 

For those who are not as old as I am, you might want to read the book or click here to read a summary of the book on Wikipedia.

TLDR

Yes, the book might be a bit too long for you to read. I don’t really expect you to read the whole book right now. Or even ever. The Wikipedia article is pretty good at describing the adventures of Jonathan Livingston Seagull (henceforth JLS). It’s an allegorical story about a seagull who learns that there is more to life than just being part of the flock. 

As the story unfolds, JLS expands his goal in life from more than just eating and surviving day-to-day as part of the flock. Instead JLS learns how to fly further and faster. He learns how to do tricks. To be a spectacular flyer. While others in the flock just think he is odd and some disavow him, he continues his quest. In the end, JLS has learned much about himself in his life quest. 

You Lost Me

What does the story of JLS have to do with the regular followers of Femulate in general, and my Stuff columns in particular, you may ask. Well, I warned you above that this was going to be a philosophical discussion. For those that followed my suggestion to check Wikipedia or even to read the whole book, try going back and substituting CD, TG or TS for the references to JLS. 

As we have progressed on our femme journey, we can relate to what the seagull experienced. It is us who are soaring above the flock. It is us who are leaving the squabbling flock below. As CDs (or whatever) we are different from the flock. We have a different lives and experience things differently.

I’ll Be Back

When you return from your JLS flight I’ll be back with more conventional Stuff. How would you like to hear about my participation in a beauty pageant. Never mind, don’t answer that. I’ve already written it and Stana will be publishing it as she see fit. I welcome comments either here on the blog or by email to Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com. (The picture at the top of this installment of Stuff was created by ChatGPT.)

Wearing BGL

 

Bunny Lewis femulating in the British film A Couple of Beauties.

Stuff 84: Pronouns

By J.J. Atwell

A Quagmire

Way back in Stuff #7, which Stana published almost two years ago on August 28, 2023, I wrote a bit about the use of pronouns when referring to ourselves and other CDs. (Click here if you are curious about what I wrote then.) Go ahead, I’ll spare you the grammar lesson this time. 

So why am I revisiting pronouns today? I’m finding it a bit of a quagmire. 

Why the Confusion?

When it comes to CDs the proper pronouns to use can be confusing. Underneath this feminine finery, I’m biologically male. I spend 99.9% of my time presenting as male. My usual pronouns are he/him/his. Does putting on a dress automatically change that to she/her/hers? 

When to Use Them

Women have grown up being referred to using feminine pronouns. For them, it’s an affront to be referred to in any other way. Similarly, men are referred to using male pronouns and it’s often considered an insult to use the female pronouns with them. But, yes, you knew there was a but coming – what about those who present more androgynous? 

Let’s consider what pronouns to use when you aren’t meeting in person. Say you are simply texting somebody – a person that you know in both male and female lives. Is it “he” when discussing typically male stuff? Whatever that might be? And is it “she” when talking about girly stuff? Do you switch back and forth during a conversation? 

To further complicate the issue, what do you do when talking to your SO about a M/F married couple you know from your CD life. Do you talk about the CD half of the couple as male or female? Do you use the CD’s guy name or girl name? And does your SO make that leap when you switch pronouns while still talking about the same person? I really have no answer for this. I tend to talk about the CD in guy terms mostly unless it’s specifically about his/her CD side. But the potential for confusion is still there.

I Asked ChatGPT

First let me say that I don’t use ChatGPT to write Stuff. What you read here is all my own thinking directly from my brain to my nimble fingers and onto the screen. In addition to being a CD, I’m somewhat into new technology. I have a “smart home”. I’ve been using PC’s (Apple products) since 1978, and I’m also a ham radio operator like Stana is. So I’m no stranger to the current trends in the tech fields. 

Until now, I avoided playing with artificial intelligence (AI), but on a whim I decided to give it a spin. One of my first attempts was to ask ChatGPT about what pronouns to use when addressing a crossdresser. The response was...

the respectful approach is to ask the person directly what pronouns they use. Crossdressing is about clothing and gender expression, not necessarily gender identity, so pronoun preferences can vary.

A Good Rule of Thumb

• If you know the person well or if the context allows, ask politely, “Hey, just to be respectful — what pronouns do you use?

• If they’re presenting as a particular gender, use the pronouns that match their presentation unless told otherwise. For example, if someone is presenting in a feminine way and hasn’t said otherwise, it’s respectful to use she/her.

Always follow their lead and if you slip up, just correct yourself and move on — that shows care and respect.

I actually think that’s a pretty good answer. I’d love to hear how you approach the issue. 

I’ll Be Back

Comments are welcome either here on the blog or by email to Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com. JJ is always looking for more stuff so let me know what you would like to read about.

Wearing Marina

RIP: Terrence Stamp of The Adventures of Priscilla Queen of the Desert fame died Sunday (age 87).

Stuff 83: Support

By J.J. Atwell

We all need support

Let’s consider the subject of support today. No, not the kind of support you get from wearing a bra. I’m talking about how we get support from individuals, groups and the internet that help us present our best feminine self. Support that also helps our mental well-being. 

I start from the position that everybody needs support. It doesn’t matter if you are male or female. It doesn’t matter if you are CD/Trans/Whatever, everybody needs some kind of support. Sadly, some people don’t think they need support or, worse, providing support is enabling weakness. 

I was corresponding with a GG reader of Stuff and she mentioned that when out with friends they always take the time to compliment each other on some aspect of their outfit. They do it even when they don’t know if the friend needs it. It is just something that women do. 

As far as CDs like myself go, I’m lucky enough to get support from several sources. Broadly categorized as individuals, local groups and the internet. And yes, dear readers, that includes you that provide me with support.

Individual Support

I’ve developed a level of trust and support with a few individuals both GG and CD. I can exchange thoughts about being out en femme with them and get good feedback. That support helps me present better and more importantly, helps me gain confidence in myself. Even those of us who have developed confidence still need support to maintain it. 

I also try to reciprocate with other CDs. Sometimes the occasion is such that the individual is going through a rough stretch and just needs to vent. Sometimes everything is fine, but a compliment is always welcome. I’m making an effort to offer support for others and I hope you do as well. 

Group Support

Belonging to a local CD group is a huge level of support. You get to see and converse in person with others in similar situations. You also get an excuse to get out of the house and be yourself in the outside world rather than being trapped in your house. 

Our group meets monthly and some meetings are in a private clubhouse while others are a Girls’ Night Out at friendly restaurants. The group also has special events like a clothing swap and a beauty pageant. All of them provide our members with needed support.

Meetings of local support groups are a golden opportunity to get support. They are also a great place for you to provide that support for others. Those of you who are novices might wonder how they can be supportive to those who have been dressing for a long time. It’s easy, just compliment them on their outfit and ask their opinion about something. That gets the ball rolling and establishes support mechanisms for both of you. Yes, the line between individual support and group support is a bit blurry. 

Internet Support

It seems to me that you can broadly consider the various Internet sites as a support group. Some sites are more one-way than others. For example, Femulate is more about Stana and a few contributors sharing their thoughts, although there is some feedback from the readers. Yes, there is a comment section where you can post your opinion, but in my experience few of us actually do that. As an aside, I’d like to thank those who do comment on my Stuff, it is appreciated!

Beyond those sites, there are also discussion boards, like Crossdressers.com, where individuals post about their experiences and others chime in with their opinions. This gives close to the individual support I wrote about above. The difference is that those commenting don’t really know you and might not understand all the ramifications of your situation. Still, these provide a good way of getting support and providing support for others. 

I’ll be back

I’d like to close with my thanks for Stana providing this platform for me to express myself and for the folks that comment. It is a great source of support for me. As always, comments are welcome either here on the blog or by email to Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com. JJ is always looking for more stuff so if there is something you would like to read about please let me know!

Wearing ModCloth

Tracy Morgan femulating Maya Angelou on television’s Saturday Night Live.

Halloween 2017: The Rest of the Story

Thursday’s post described the beginning of my day out en femme on Halloween 2017. The post was a big hit, so this post will tell the rest of the story.

Rite Aid

My next stop was my pharmacy two doors up the road from my bank.

I never get red eye in boy mode, but in girl mode, it occurs often enough that I always carry a bottle of eye drops in my purse to relieve the unsightly problem. I attribute my girl mode red eye to eye makeup — either from the irritation that may occur when I apply the makeup or from makeup crumbs that may get in my eye. Anyway, I misplaced my bottle of eyedrops when I was out Saturday night, so I went to Rite Aid to buy a new bottle.

I seldom see the same people working in Rite Aid. Either there is a big turnover or they have a big staff all working less than 40-hour weeks. So it did not surprise me that I did not recognize any of the staff during my visit on Tuesday.

I found the eye drops and checked out without the cashier blinking an eye even though I greeted her with “Happy Halloween!”

Agway

We have cats (and dogs). We buy our cat litter at Agway because they carry a brand that we like and no one else sells that brand locally (as far as we have been able to determine). The Agway that sells our favorite litter is located a half hour away. That was convenient when I was working because it was only a few miles away from my workplace, but now that I am retired...

Since I originally planned to visit my former workplace, I figured I would be in the neighborhood, so I planned to stock up on litter. Carrying 40 pound bags of litter while wearing high heels and long nails would be challenging, but I was up for it.

I entered the store and the woman who runs the place was at the counter. I approached her and when she asked if she could help me, I said I was the “litter guy,” the self-named moniker I used whenever I phoned the store to see if they had the litter in stock.

“Who are you?”

Like the woman at the bank, I think she heard me, but could not believe her eyes, so I repeated my nickname and then I saw her expression change to one of recognition.

“Oh, sorry, but we are all out. The next shipment is next Tuesday.”

“OK, see you next week,” and I exited the premises without a word about my appearance or a “Happy Halloween.”

Not sure how she expects me to appear next week.

My last three stops on Tuesday were Roz & Ali (née Dress Barn), Macy's and Burger King. I will describe them in reverse order.

Burger King

My wife asked me to pick up some fast food from Burger King on the way home, so I stopped at the King closest to my home. Although it was in between lunch and dinner, this King is always busy because it is easy access from Interstate I-84.

I walked in, placed my order, waited five minutes for the special no-ketchup Whopper, received my order and exited the premises without incident. I was an invisible older women. Although a couple of guys did check me out briefly, they were younger and probably not interested when they saw I was old enough to be their mother or grandmother!

Macy’s

This was a “I'm feeling so great that I don’t want to return to boy mode stop” just to extend my day out. The store was not very busy — just a few older women like me perusing the racks. A couple of sales reps greeted me, but that was the extent of my interaction with any living beings.

I did find a beautiful Calvin Klein dress that was marked down considerably and I thought about trying it on, but I did not for reasons you will read below.

Roz & Ali (née Dress Barn)

I visited my favorite Dress Barn — the one near my former employer where they know me in boy and girl mode — also where I filled out a job application.

I know the manager and sales rep who were on duty by name and they know me by name. I had conversations with both of them about the store’s name change and I also asked the manager about my job application. She said they weren’t hiring right now because they had closed three other local Dress Barns during the summer.

Perusing the racks, nothing knocked me out, but I found two dresses in Misses size 14 that had potential and the sales rep opened a changing room for me. First I tried on a floral print. It fit perfectly and I was surprised how much better it looked on me than on the rack! It was a keeper.

The second dress was a sexy black number — something I could see Sophia Loren wearing. The top of the dress was too small and I could not zip it up. The sales rep found one in Woman's size 14W, which I was able to zip up easily, but it was too roomy in the waist, so I rejected it and went home with just one new dress to add to my wardrobe.

By the way, the reason I did not try on the Calvin Klein dress in Macy’s was because changing out and back into a skirt suit was so time-consuming at Dress Barn that I did not want to repeat it at Macy’s. Removing the jacket, skirt and blouse was easy enough, but putting everything back on was harder because the blouse had a lot of finicky buttons, so I did not think it was worth it especially since I had just bought a new dress at Dress Barn.

Hair Salon Redux

Ten days later, I had an appointment for a haircut at the salon I visited on Halloween. My hairdresser was off on Halloween, so after she seated me at her station, she said, “I’m sorry I missed you on Tuesday. The girls said you were beautiful.”

So I immediately retrieved my iPhone and showed her my photo taken in the salon on Halloween.

She took my iPhone, examined the photo closely and remarked, “You look like a businesswoman.”

“That’s what I intended.”

“You do look beautiful!”

“Thank-you.”

Bank Redux

The next time I visited my bank, the teller was the same teller who I saw on Halloween. The other two women staffing the bank were not working on Halloween. One is the teller I often deal with at the drive-through window. The other is the branch manager, who refinanced my mortgage. So they both know me well as a regular customer.

My teller handled my withdrawal and then she brought up the topic of Halloween. She said my “costume” was the best she had ever seen. Then she asked me if I had a photo on my iPhone so she could show the other women.

Of course, I did and she called the other teller over to see my photo. Needless to say, she was floored. Then she asked the bank manager if she had seen my Halloween costume photo.

She replied, “No, but I heard about it.”

Evidently, my costume was the talk of the bank staff.

I showed her my photo and she said I looked amazing!

“Amazing” was the word for Halloween 2017 and I will never forget it.

Wearing StyleWe

Kyle De'Volle

Halloween: Having It Both Ways

On Monday, JJ wrote about Halloween costumes and specifically discussed whether to dress as a civilian female as your costume or whether to wear a female costume (nurse, maid, cheerleader, etc.) on our national holiday.

I have done both. If I attend a Halloween party hosted by an LGBTQ+ organization (like my support group), I wear a female costume. However, if I attend a civilian Halloween party, I dress as a civilian female. And if I am just out and about on my own or going to work on Halloween, civilian female mode it is.

It is fun putting together a female costume and flaunting it at a Halloween party. I will never forget the reaction I received dressing as a Playboy bunny. Actually, I would be hesitant to dress like that at a civilian party – I can feel some guy’s roaming hands, if you know what I mean. 

I prefer dressing as a civilian female for Halloween. I love it when I overhear other attendees at a civilian party talking about me and asking, “Why is she not wearing a costume?” That never gets old.

And if I am out among the civilians, if I pass, great! But if I don’t pass, it’s not a big deal because it’s Halloween and I am just wearing a costume.

One of my best Halloweens out among civilians was in 2017 when I made various stops at my usual haunts. My first stop that day was at the hair salon where I have been getting my hair cut for over 25 years.

I entered the salon and the owner greeted me without a glimmer of recognition. I played along and said I wanted to make an appointment with my regular hairdresser, so she opened the appointment book and found an opening that I could fill, then she asked my name (to enter into the book).

When I told her my name, her jaw dropped and the “Oh, my God’s” began flowing without interruption. Just then, another hairdresser showed up for work and she was flabbergasted, too.

Next stop was my bank, where I usually do my business via the drive-through window. Since I was cashing a check and making a withdrawal, I would have to show my driver’s license and there might be some confusion considering how I appeared, so I went inside rather than driving through.

As I entered, I saw three women staffing the bank — I have done business with all three of them for a number of years, usually at the drive-through window and occasionally up front and personal.

I greeted the woman who was seated typing away at a computer in the cubicle just inside the bank entrance. She looked up from the computer and was clueless.

I smiled and said, “Happy Halloween! You may know me better as [insert my male name].”

I believe she heard me, but I think she could not believe her eyes and asked, “Who?”

I had to repeat my name a couple of times before it sank in and she said, “Wow — you look fabulous!”

“Thank-you,” and I got into the line waiting for my turn at the teller, who greeted me with a big smile as I queued up. When it was my turn, I walked up to the teller, who greeted me so profusely that I knew she knew who I was.

“You look lovely today,” she said.

“You know who I am, don't you.”

“I recognized you as soon as you walked in.”

There were no other customers in the bank, so my teller called over the other teller and asked if she recognized me.

The other teller did not have a clue.

My teller tried to clue her in with this hint, “Who has a green car and always uses the drive-through window?”

The other teller was still clueless.

Another clue, “Who has a little friend (my dog) in the passenger seat?”

Still nothing!

My teller finally showed her my driver’s license and the other teller shouted out my male name followed by a series of question marks and exclamation points. She was amazed and gushed over my “disguise.”

I asked my teller if she would take my photo and she said she would love to do it, so I handed her my iPhone and she took a half dozen shots including the one above.

I said my goodbyes and as I passed the cubicle where the first woman was working, she stopped me and went on and on about how convincing I looked.

I mentioned how my wife always said that I would never pass because of my large size.

“Oh, no,” she retorted, “No one would ever guess that you're not a woman.”

And that’s the problem. If your costume is so good that you pass (or close to it), civilians might put two and two together and suspect that your costume is not a costume! 

That happened to me. After dressing in convincing “office girl drag” at work, most of my co-workers figured me out, but I didn’t care. I was out to lots of people and what were a few more. Maybe if I received some flak, I might have cared, but my co-workers were good with my presentation and even looked forward to see what I would wear on October 31.

But that’s me. Many of you do care about being outed, so you have to tone down your costume if you dress civilian female. Or do a female costume.

Whether you're a sultry witch or a dainty ballerina or an alluring administrative assistant, lean into it. Pose for photos. Speak in character. Confidence transforms a costume into a moment.

Lindsay Lohan wearing Balmain set, Hermès bag, Christian Louboutin shoes, Oliver Peoples sunglasses.

Spasmodic

Blog posts will be spasmodic while I am on vacation.

Wearing Ann Taylor

Audrius Janonis femulating on Lithuanian television’s Your Face Sounds Familiar.
Click here to view this femulation on YouTube.

Intermittently

Blog posts will be intermittent while I am on vacation.

Wearing Club Monaco

Michalina Manios, Polish fashion model

Stuff 82: Halloween

By J.J. Atwell

It’s still months away

Well, yes Halloween is still months away. But there is no reason that we can’t start thinking about what we will be wearing then. 

Halloween is sometimes referred to as a crossdressers’ national holiday because so many of us take advantage of the occasion to go out dressed as our femme self. So I thought I’d write about this opportunity as you ponder the big night. 

Before I go on, yes the photo accompanying this Stuff was me in my theme park tourist outfit from last halloween.

So many options

We have a lot of choices to make when picking our Halloween costume. Some have more practical considerations than others. Indeed, it depends a bit on the venue and the company. 

Are you going to be with a group of CDs? That gives you a bit more flexibility to dress more flamboyant. If you’re out with a group of people that already know about you, then you can chose to be what ever costume a GG would wear without fear. Of course there are different costumes that you might want to do. Perhaps a princess gown? A sexy nurse? A witch? Elvira? Or maybe just a low key, everyday kind of outfit like black jeans and a Halloween theme top and appropriate accessories. It’s all up to your sense of comfort and style. 

Are you going to a random party where most people don’t know about your girl side? You’ve still got plenty of options. However, in this situation you might want to consider how “femme” you get unless you don’t mind outing yourself to everybody. Do you want to appear as a convincing female in your costume? Or do you want to just be a guy in a dress? If you are too convincing you might have to answer some questions about how you learned to do your makeup or walk in heels. It might be a giveaway to your otherwise secret life. 

Women have fun, too

I read somewhere that in girl world, Halloween is the one night a year when a girl can dress up like a total slut and other girls won’t think anything bad about her. It gave me a chuckle. But the point is that the holiday is a good night to change up your staid self and be somebody different. So if women can do that, why shouldn’t we? 

I’ll be back

I’m currently considering my Halloween options and will report back afterwards. I welcome comments and suggestions here on Stana’s page or by email at Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com.

Wearing Ann Taylor

Stefano Ferri