Girls’ Night Out

Girls’ days and nights out during the holidays almost always results in a nice story, so continuing in that vein, I recount another outing with some girlfriends during the holidays.

The agenda for Wednesday's girls’ night out was to go to Hartford to dine at Max Downtown and after dinner, go to TheaterWorks to see Christmas on the Rocks, “an off beat collection of twisted holiday tales.”

I don't know my way around downtown Hartford especially in the dark, so I bribed Diana to do the driving because she worked in Hartford and knows her way around town! So after I got dressed to the nines, I drove to Diana’s abode and she drove us to Hartford.

I-84 in Hartford was threatening to become a parking lot and although we left Diana's house with plenty of time to spare, making our 5:30 reservation at the restaurant looked impossible. Hopefully, the other girls would save the day and get to the restaurant on time.

After abandoning I-84 and working her way through the streets of Hartford, Diana parked in the City Place underground garage, which was under the restaurant (more or less) and we arrived at the restaurant about ten minutes late. Luckily, the other girls (Laura, Robin and Arlene) did arrive on time, so our reservations were intact.

Let me tell you about the restaurant.

Robin suggested it and I went along ― it was new to me and I am always willing to try something new. I checked the menu online and its prices were on the high side, but it’s the holidays, so what the heck!

This place was very classy. Probably one of the classiest restaurants I have ever been in. The male diners all wore suits or sports jackets and the female diners were equally well-dressed. No jeans or tees in this joint!

After checking in, they asked to take our coats and I was pleased to give mine up so I could better show off my outfit while we were escorted to our table. It was a long walk during which I strutted my stuff and took note of some of the attention I was getting. I loved it!

It wasn’t long ago that when this girl was in a similar situation, she would avoid eye contact with any civilians and try to hide in plain sight. Now she relishes the attention, tries to make eye contact and responds with a pretty smile. That’s progress!

The restaurant was packed and we were seated next to tables full of business people, who seemed to mind their own business and not ours, which is no surprise because a table full of middle-aged women just blends into the background in settings like these. 

The very attentive waitstaff used the correct pronouns, called us “ladies” and made our visit as enjoyable as possible. The wine and food (“Max’s Label Dry Aged Prime Beef Burger,” a $21 cheeseburger) was excellent, but the after-dinner coffee seemed a little stale.

Showtime was quickly approaching, so we paid the bill and prepared to exit. I knew that as soon as I hit the cold air outdoors, I would have to relieve myself, so while the others headed for the exit, I headed for ladies’room and used the facilities as they were intended to be used, that is, I sat to pee.

Exiting the ladies’ room, I was unsure about which way to go to get to the exit. One of the staff, an older gent (probably my age), sensed my predicament and asked me where I wanted to go. He then escorted me all the way to the exit, while engaging me in conversation about my experience at the restaurant. It was such a feminine moment – a lady in distress rescued by a knight in shining armor!

Next stop was the theater – a short two-block walk from the restaurant. The theater was small and the seats were narrow. I was very uncomfortable the whole time and it took away from my enjoyment of the show.

The theater describes the play, thusly, “It's Christmas Eve in a rundown local bar. Expecting a silent night, the bartender finds himself mixing drinks for a parade of surprising guests – children from your favorite Christmas specials and movies - now all grown up! Tiny Tim, Charlie Brown, Cindy Lou Who and a host of others pour out their Christmas woes in this delightful parody.”

The Cindy Lou Who (of Grinch fame) and Charlie Brown segments were excellent; the others were OK. They saved the best for last (Cindy and Charlie), so I was less anxious to get out of Dodge because those segments held my interest, but I was still very happy to get up from my uncomfortable seat and file out when the show ended.

Outside the theater, we exchanged hugs and season’s greeting because Arlene-Laura-Robin were parked in a different location than we were parked. Diana and I walked back to City Place under which Diana’s car was parked and after a couple of false starts trying to get into the now locked-up building, we finally were let in, paid for the parking and left Hartford.

Back home, I turned back into a pumpkin at 10:30 PM with memories of an excellent girls’ night out. We discussed doing it again real soon now and I hope we do. 

Wearing Taylor

Lynn Jones attending the Chameleons Christmas Do in 2021.
Lynn blogs at Yet Another Transgender Blog.

Jessica at a holiday party.

A Jane Fonda Night

Thursday afternoon, I drove to my daughter’s apartment in Hartford to attend Real Art Ways’ monthly Creative Cocktail Hour. The cocktail hour began at 6 PM, but I left home at 3:45 because the weather was miserable (heavy rain and gusty wind) and I assumed the traffic on I-84 would be miserable, too. I was correct; the normal 25-minute ride took 45 minutes. 

I arrived at my daughter’s apartment just as the rain let up momentarily, so I was able to dash from my car to her apartment building without getting wet. My daughter and her dog greeted me and we killed time waiting for the start of the cocktail hour talking and drinking (her water, me coffee).

Wearing a new dress and new hairdo, I asked my daughter how did I look and she said I looked like Jane Fonda. I thought that made sense... a senior woman trying to look younger by wearing a lot of makeup and a youthful hairdo. Anyway, I took it as a compliment.

My daughter has no qualms about appearing with me en femme in public, but asked me how should she introduce me if we met up with any of her friends. I suggested “Aunt” or “friend.” She preferred Aunt and that settled that.

At 6 PM, we walked to Real Art Ways and found a small crowd already in attendance. We immediately encountered one of her friends, a woman who worked there. I hung back as the two exchanged greetings and then the woman looked at me and said, “You look beautiful.”

I held out my hand and introduced myself, “I’m her Dad.”

She seemed surprised, “Nice to meet you. And you are beautiful.”

That set the tone for the evening. I felt like I could do no wrong walking through the galleries and taking in all the art exhibits.

I expected to run into some of my transwomen friends from my old support group. In the past, there might be a dozen in attendance, but not so Thursday night. In general, attendance seemed down. I assume that the weather had a lot to do with it considering thousands of homes throughout the state were still without power due downed trees caused by the storm.  

I did meet up with a new friend, the lovely Christine, who reads this blog. She had emailed me days ago that she might attend after reading that I planned to attend. She did and we did meet up and became new friends.

And I did meet up with Deja, a very old support group friend. We spent a lot of time catching up and it was great to see her again. (My daughter had met Deja at my support group’s annual banquet in 2005, so they had even more catching up to do!)  

Due to the small crowd size, it was not a typical Creative Cocktail Hour. Besides the absence of other transwomen who usually show, I did not see familiar civilian faces I have seen in the past. C’est la vie.

My daughter and I had a great time anyway and we will probably do it again real soon now.

Wearing Paige Chamomile dress.

To  be determined!

Tale of Two Dresses

It was a dark and stormy afternoon. I held my breath every time I heard a gust of wind outdoors anticipating a power outage. Thousands lost power in Connecticut, but I lucked out. Nothing was going to interrupt my evening out with my daughter, but I had a close call.

I was ready to leave the house and as I went to the closet to get my coat, I noticed a loose button on my dress. It was hanging by a thread and when I touched the button, it fell to the floor.

This was a new dress and you would think there would not be any problems But it was not the first time that something new had loose buttons, so I sighed and got out my sewing kit.

After threading the needle, I realized I was running late and sewing the button back on the dress was going to make me even later. So I decided to wear a different dress. I peeled off one dress and slipped on another, slipped on my coat, grabbed my purse and went on my way.

Wearing Ann Taylor

Bryce Anderson, male womenswear model

Old Friends

Out of the blue, I received an e-mail asking me if I used to be the "Staci" who frequented meetings of the Connecticut Outreach Society 15 to 20 years ago. I acknowledged that fact and it turned out that the e-mail was from a girl who also attended those meetings way back when.

She stopped attending the meetings because life got in the way, but now she was trying to get out and about again and wondered if we could get together. After a few false starts, we finally managed to make a date for dinner and shopping. So this evening, I will meet up with my old friend and I am looking forward to getting reacquainted.

I was very active in Connecticut Outreach Society for about 20 years and it is amazing how many people I saw come and go through the doors of the society. They number in the hundreds... probably in the five hundreds... maybe more. 

Most were strangers, but would you believe that I knew two of the girls in boy mode long before they showed up in girl mode at our meetings. I knew both through ham radio. All three of us belonged to the same radio club, but none of us had an inkling about our transgenders.

It's a small world after all!

Wearing Bebe (Source: Bebe)

Kate

Dress Dad for adventure!

"Dress Dad for adventure! Click for great Father's Day deals from Sears" was the subject of an email I received yesterday.

Dress Dad for adventure? I'm thinking a pretty frock, heels and a matching bag!

👠 👠 👠

By popular demand, a number of readers asked to see the outfit I wore Friday evening, so here it is!

Dress from DressBarn, high heel pumps from Payless and scarf from Avon.

Friday was amazing. My ex-managers were so happy to see me presenting as a woman and they could not have been more supportive. If I had ever pulled the trigger and gone to work full-time as a woman, they would have had my back.

👠 👠 👠

No matter how many times I've done it, walking up and down stairs in heels still gives me pause, so it was nice to receive a refresher course from Abby at Vivian Lou. Here is the link!

Wearing Brahmin bag (Source: Brahmin)

Lee Roy Reams femulates Dolly on stage in Hello Dolly (2015).

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Girls' Night Out

As I wrote in my previous post, my former manager (X) had promised to take me out to dinner to celebrate my retirement. She also invited another former manager of mine (Y), as well as one of the guys (Chuck) who I have worked with for 20 years. 

I had originally planned to attend the dinner as Stana (both my managers know I am trans), but when I learned that Chuck was joining us, I began reconsidering my en femme plans. Chuck did not know I was trans, although he might have suspected after having seen me en femme at work on Halloween.

With a lot of encouragement from Femulate readers, I finally decided to "damn the torpedoes" and stuck to my original plans to go to dinner en femme.

We had a dinner reservation for 5:30 PM, so I got ready and left for the restaurant at 5 because the Maps app claimed that the restaurant was 20 minutes away. Just as I was ready to go, I received an email from Chuck saying he would not be able to attend the dinner, so we were back to a girls' only night out. This was kind of a letdown because now I was prepared to dine with Chuck and introduce him to Stana. C'est la vie.

I arrived at the restaurant in 20 minutes, parked the car and went inside. I was the first to arrive and was seated at our reserved table in the bar. I ordered a drink and waited for the girls to arrive. 

About 15 minutes later, I saw them enter at the opposite end of the bar and I could see that they were looking around the room trying to find me. As they got closer, I waved and caught their attention. When they recognized who was waving, they both squealed with delight and were so happy to see me presenting as a woman. Any doubts that this was the right thing to do flew out the window.

They both complimented my presentation and admitted that if I had not waved, they would never had found me.

Y asked me if I would have presented as a woman if Chuck had not cancelled. It was kind of a silly question because we only received the news of Chuck's cancellation about an hour before our dinner reservation and there is no way I can switch from boy to presentable girl mode that quickly. As soon as Y asked the question, she realized it was a silly question and gave me a lot of credit for my willingness to meet Chuck as a woman. 

Both of my managers were absolutely wonderful and treated me like another girl and not a guy in a dress. They worked hard to get the pronouns correct and got used to calling me "Stana." There was some trans-related conversation, but it was mostly girl talk about work, marriage, fashion and even sex! 

The food and drink were excellent, but secondary to the evening. The evening was so affirming and a dream come true! I asked them if we could do it again and they both agreed that they would enjoy dining with me again.

The evening ended too quickly and after two hours, we exited to the parking lot where we said our goodbyes. They both hugged me, but as Y hugged me, she planted a real kiss (not an air kiss) on my cheek! 

It was a wonderful evening and I did not want it to end, so when I got home, I even walked the dogs en femme in broad daylight.

Street style, New York City

Alec Mapa femulating in the 1998 film Playing by Heart.

Girls' Night Out... Sort of

Wednesday was my last day at work. I thought about going to work as Stana, but I did not.

The CEO came to my cube about 10 AM to wish me well and that was my cue to get out of Dodge. I turned in my badge, keys and laptop, went around the building to say goodbye to everyone and drove home.

It was all very anti-climatic!

Anyway, my former manager had promised to take me out to dinner when she got back from vacation. I received an email from her Wednesday afternoon saying she was back and had made a reservation for us at a local restaurant for Friday evening. The original plans were to also invite another of my former managers, also female, to join us, which she did. So I was looking forward to joining my two ex-managers for a girls' night out. (Both ex-managers know I am trans.)

But my old boss threw me a curve; she also invited a guy from my workplace, a workplace friend who I have known for 20 years. He has seen Stana on Halloween and jokingly remarked that I was the best looking woman in the building, but I never came out to him like I had to my former bosses. He might have guessed I am trans, but who knows! (I lost count how many times I assumed people thought I was trans and when I came out to them, they said they were clueless.)

So now I was on the fence about going to dinner as Stana. I exchanged emails about my dilemna with Paula and she encouraged me to go as Stana. Then I read yesterday's blog post by the always insightful Joanna and the one-two punch from Paula and Joanna pushed me off the fence, so Stana will be dining this evening.

It should be interesting. The girls have no idea who will show up, but I know Stana's appearance will not surprise them. I am sure that the guy will be very surprised, just as I am sure that everyone in the company will have their suspicions confirmed Monday morning when the story about our dinner gets out.

Who says I lead a boring life!

Wearing Emilia Wickstead (Source: Moda Operandi)

Paolo Ballesteros (left) femulating in the 2016 Filipino film Die Beautiful.

Winding Down

Ten work days left, then I'm out of here! What a great feeling!

Only ten more commutes to work. Good riddance to all you tailgaters on Route 322!

It is so nice to be able to ignore e-mails and meetings at work regarding stuff that will have no import until after I exit.

I will finish my last writing project today, so then I will switch to maintenance mode and organize my files for the two writers who will replace me. Also, I can start going through the stuff in my office (20 years' worth) and decide what to take home and what to throw out.

Meanwhile, my old boss came by yesterday and invited me to go out to dinner to celebrate. She also invited my previous old boss to the celebration. Problem is that their schedules won't permit us to get together until after I leave, so we will do dinner in June.

I came out to both of my former bosses years ago and they always encouraged me to dress as a woman at work for Halloween. In fact, they were both fine with me dressing as a woman all the time at work if that is what I chose to do. Needless to say, I will be presenting as a woman when we do go out to dinner next month.

Thought for the Day

If I knew then what I know now, I would have been sitting to pee like forever.

Needle & Thread jacket, Zimmermann bralette, 10 Crosby Derek Lan shorts and Vita Fede sunglasses (source: Intermix).

Lee Pace femulating in the 2003 film Soldier's Girl.

Gurls' Night Out

Christmas decor in the lobby of City Place in Hartford.

The agenda for Wednesday's gurls' night out was to go to Hartford to dine at Max Downtown and after dinner, go to TheaterWorks to see Christmas on the Rocks, "an off beat collection of twisted holiday tales."

I don't know my way around downtown Hartford especially in the dark, so I bribed Diana to do the driving because she works in Hartford and knows her way around town even in the dark! So after I got dressed to the nines, I drove to Diana's abode and she drove us to Hartford.

I-84 in Hartford was threatening to become a parking lot and although we left Diana's house with plenty of time to spare, making our 5:30 reservation at the restaurant looked impossible. Hopefully, the other gurls would save the day and get to the restaurant on time.

After abandoning I-84 and working her way through the streets of Hartford, Diana parked in the City Place underground garage, which was under the restaurant (more or less) and we arrived at the restaurant about ten minutes late. Luckily, the other gurls (Laura and Robin) and Robin's spouse (Arlene) did arrive on time, so our reservations were intact.

Let me tell you about the restaurant.

Robin suggested it and I went along ― it was new to me and I am always willing to try something new. I checked the menu online and its prices were on the high side, but it's the holidays, so what the heck!

This place was very classy. Probably one of the classiest restaurants I have ever been in. The male diners all wore suits or sports jackets and the female diners were equally well-dressed. No jeans or tees in this joint!

After checking in, they asked to take our coats and I was pleased to give mine up so I could better show off my outfit while we were escorted to our table. It was a long walk during which I strutted my stuff and took note of some of the attention I was getting. I loved it!

It wasn't long ago that when this gurl was in a similar situation, she would avoid eye contact with any civilians and try to hide in plain sight. Now she relishes the attention, tries to make eye contact and responds with a pretty smile. That's progress!

The restaurant was packed and we were seated next to tables full of business people, who seemed to mind their own business and not ours, which is no surprise because a table full of middle-aged women just blends into the background in settings like these.

The very attentive waitstaff used the correct pronouns, called us "ladies" and made our visit as enjoyable as possible. The wine and food ("Max’s Label Dry Aged Prime Beef Burger," a $21 cheeseburger) was excellent, but the after-dinner coffee seemed a little stale.

Showtime was quickly approaching, so we paid the bill and prepared to exit. I knew that as soon as I hit the cold air outdoors I would have to relieve myself, so while the others headed for the exit, I headed for ladies' room and used the facilities as they were intended to be used, that is, I sat to pee.

Exiting the ladies' room, I was unsure about which way to go to get to the exit. One of the staff, an older gent (probably my age), sensed my predicament and asked me where I wanted to go. He then escorted me all the way to the exit, while engaging me in conversation about my experience at the restaurant. It was such a feminine moment ― a lady in distress rescued by a knight in shining armor!

Next stop was the theater ― a short two-block walk from the restaurant. The theater was small and the seats were narrow. I was very uncomfortable the whole time and it took away from my enjoyment of the show.

The theater describes the play, thusly, "It's Christmas Eve in a rundown local bar. Expecting a silent night, the bartender finds himself mixing drinks for a parade of surprising guests - children from your favorite Christmas specials and movies - now all grown up! Tiny Tim, Charlie Brown, Cindy Lou Who and a host of others pour out their Christmas woes in this delightful parody."

The Cindy Lou Who (of Grinch fame) and Charlie Brown segments were excellent; the others were OK. They saved the best for last (Cindy and Charlie), so I was less anxious to get out of Dodge because those segments held my interest, but I was still very happy to get up from my uncomfortable seat and file out when the show ended.

Outside the theater, we exchanged hugs and season's greeting because Arlene-Laura-Robin were parked in a different location than we were parked. Diana and I walked back to City Place under which Diana's car was parked and after a couple of false starts trying to get into the now locked-up building, we finally were let in, paid for the parking and left Hartford.

Back home, I turned back into a pumpkin at 10:30 PM with memories of an excellent gurls' night out. We discussed doing it again real soon now and I hope we do.  

Eddie Izzard

Getting Outfitted for the Night Out

Yesterday, I mentioned that I went out Wednesday night for a dinner and a show to celebrate Christmas with my gurl friends. And so I did.

I planned to wear my new Calvin Klein sleeveless black and white colorblock textured sheath with my new Nine West pewter Leapafaith pointy toe high heel pumps. FEDEX was supposed to deliver the shoes on Monday, but FEDEX was a no-show.

I checked online and FEDEX rescheduled delivery for Friday, so I decided to wear my Payless Janine black patent pointy toe high heel pumps. I bought the Janines some time ago and had never worn them, so Wednesday noon, I installed a pair of Insolia inserts in advance of my gurls' night out.

Within an hour, the mailman rang the doorbell with a package to deliver: my Nine West Leapafaiths! So I installed a pair of Insolia pumps in the Leapafaiths, too, and slipped them on my feet to get used to wearing them because the heel is a little higher than what I usually wear
.
According to Nine West's description, the Leapafaiths have a 1/2" hidden platform and 4 1/2" high heels. Despite those specs, they were very comfortable for the hour or so I wore them around the house, but I feared wearing them Wednesday night because our plans involved some walking on city streets and sidewalks... not the best environment for high heel comfort.

The Leapafaiths were absolutely beautiful, but I decided against wearing them and went back to Plan B: the Payless Janines. As it turned out, the Janines were comfortable from beginning to end Wednesday night, but in retrospect, the Leapafaiths would probably have been fine, too, because our walks involved short jaunts separated by long periods of sitting, but I did not know that in advance.

Mid-afternoon, I put on my face and did my hair. Then I slipped on my undies, dress, shoes, jewelry and nails ― avoiding mirrors until I was all put together. When I was ready, I looked in the full-length mirror and was very pleased with what I saw: an attractive 64-year-old woman.

I love that look!

Wearing JB by Julie Brown.

Wife and husband dressed up to attend husband’s company Christmas party. (Wow!)