Suits Me Fine

My best female friend at work really put herself together nicely yesterday.

She wore a (new to me) brown suit (jacket and pencil skirt that skimmed the top of her knees), a pretty dark red satin V-neck blouse, and a pair of suede high heel pumps covered with patches in different shades of brown.

I could not contain myself and told her she looked "great." Then I added, "When you dress like that, I want to dress like that." (In truth, I want to dress like that no matter how she dresses, but she is an inspiration to me.)

She was very flattered.

I also remarked, "I love your shoes."

Having discussed the good, the bad, and the ugly of women's shoes in the past, she mentioned that her shoes were very comfortable.

I replied that's icing on the cake (or something like that).

My friend is on the employee activities committee, so I asked her if the committee had any plans for Halloween this year.

She said they had no plans so far.

I told her that I wanted to come dressed en femme on Halloween and I planned to do so whether the company celebrated the holiday or not.

She encouraged me to do so and added that she did not think anyone would give me a problem.

I replied that nothing would bother me and that I would find out who my friends were.

Then she suggested that I submit a suggestion to the activities committee to celebrate Halloween.

The first thing I did when I returned to my desk was to write that suggestion and e-mail it to her to share with the committee.

Whether there is a Halloween celebration or not, I have now made up my mind that I will attend work en femme on October 31.

And, by the way, she preferred the business woman costume idea over the airline stewardess costume idea.

I am my own girlfriend

I love females. Always did, always will.

When I reached dating age, I dreamed about dating the vast number of females that I found attractive. But I was very shy with the opposite sex and not at all skilled at chatting up females in order to get a date.

My attempts usually resulted in rejection. As I accumulated rejections, I became gun-shy and more reluctant to try again. As a result, I did not date very often.

On those rare occasions that I did date, it was usually of the blind variety. And there were seldom any second dates because (1) I did not find my blind date attractive or (2) if I did find my blind date to be attractive, my shyness kicked in and turned off my blind date. I was a sad sack on the dating scene.

Lacking a female companion, did I become my own girlfriend?

I studied the art of female emulation (femulation) and after years of practice, I managed to femulate myself into a female, who could look attractive under the right lighting conditions and/or from the correct viewing angle.

As I femulated more and more, dating a female became less important, but I continued to make my feeble attempts in the dating scene and accepted blind dates whenever the opportunity arose. One blind date was "love at first sight" and we dated for over two years, married, and had a child.

While I dated my future spouse, I stopped being my own girlfriend, that is, I stopped femulating all together and did not take up the cause again until we were invited to a Halloween party a month after our wedding day.

After nearly three years of not femulating, I was out of practice and having purged all my female paraphenalia before marriage, I had to borrow clothes for that Halloween outing. As a result, my femulation was just so-so in my humble opinion. Nevertheless, my skills were still good enough to fool some of the people some of the time and a female in a cat costume asked me point blank if I was male, because she was not sure.

That outing caused me to recall how I had enjoyed femulating in the past, so I began anew, first in secret, than slowly out into the public after my spouse put two and two together and asked me if I liked to crossdress on days that weren't October 31. (Her query was prompted by the French Maid costume I wore the preceding Halloween.)

I came clean about my hobby and she was very supportive and encouraged me to join a support group, which moved my femulation out of the closet of my home into the closet of my support group's meeting hall where I learned how to take my femulation out into public places.

Did I become my own girlfriend again?

I believe that when I was dateless and desperately seeking female companionship, I truly was my own girlfriend. But now I believe that the female I emulate is really me.

When I became my own girlfriend in the past, I was really becoming me, but did not realize it at the time. Now I realize that when I femulate I am presenting myself to society in the way I feel that best expresses me.