Who's Better Looking?

In response to my invitation to Ask Me Anything, B wrote, "Does your wife ever think that you are better-looking than her when you are en femme because you do scrub up amazingly well?!"

My will wife criticize how I look en femme usually commenting on my hemline (too short), my hair color (too blonde) or my size (too big to pass). However, she has never mentioned that I am better-looking than her.

She is a pretty woman, however, our sense of fashion could not be more different. She usually wears jeans and a plain top with no makeup. The last time she wore high heels was when she marched down the aisle.

Dresses and heels are what I wear and I am always fully made-up. So, it is not fair to compare us because we dress so differently. On the other hand, I think I compare favorably with women who dress like I do.

Wearing New York & Company (Source: New York & Company)

Karl Cruz, homecoming queen at Sweetwater Union High School in National City, California

My Fashion Sense

I have fashion sense.

I can put outfits together and accessorize them. I can also do my makeup and style my hair (wigs). I'm no expert, but I think that for a natural born guy, I do well doing those girly things.

I read and practice a lot to improve my girly skills, but I think there is more to it than that. I think that I took after my Mom.

Mom was a fashion plate. We were not rich by any means; we were lower middle class at best, but Mom always dressed very nicely wearing outfits she sewed herself.

Mom was also beautiful and did not have to wear a lot of makeup. Lipstick, powder, and rouge were the only ingredients in her makeup bag. She also had great legs!

Overall, Mom's look was very classy.

I inherited my fashion sense from Mom. Over the years, I honed my girly skills, but to start, my basic girly skills came from Mom. When I was a little girly boy, I was fascinated watching her do her hair and makeup and sew pretty clothes to wear with beautiful hats and always, with high heels.

I am a high heel maven just like my Mom. In fact, a lot of girls my age have an affinity for high heels because our mothers came from a generation in which high heels were the standard footwear for going out. Similarly, girls my age favor dresses because that is what our mothers wore most of the time.

It is not only me; many of us get our fashion sense from our Moms. Luckily, my Mom had a great fashion sense and a little of that rubbed off on me.

Wearing Tibi (Source: Tibi)

Femulator in the 1969 Japanese film Funeral Parade of Roses.

Who Wore It Better?

I was up at 5:30 AM and the first thing I did was power up the TV to watch the weather and traffic reports.

I tuned to channel 8, WTNH out of New Haven and the talking heads (Keith Kountz and Laura Hutchinson) were at it. Suddenly I am wide awake as I notice that Laura is wearing the same Calvin Klein dress that I own –– the white cable knit sweater dress I am wearing in the photo at the top of the blog.

That is second time in the past month that I noticed a woman wearing the same dress I own. The other was Kate Goselin, who was wearing a Calvin Klein color block dress that I own.

I have to say that Laura and Kate have excellent fashion sense!

Wearing Veronica Beard.

Ryan Downey, male womenswear model

Fashion for Old Ladies (Like Me)

I am an old lady (65 years old and counting).

When I was a teenager in the 1960s, my grandmothers were about my age today. They dressed like peers their age. As I recall, here were the key items of their wardrobe:

- Ankle-length, flowing dresses that left everything to the imagination, usually in a dark color or a floral pattern.

- Black sensible laced shoes with short, thick heels.

- Black sensible bags.

- Hats festooned with flowers.

- Little or no makeup or jewelry.

- No pants. I never saw my grandmothers wear pants. I doubt if they owned a pair.

Fifty years later and I am old enough to be a grandmother, but I dress nothing like my grandmothers (does anyone?). If anything, I dress like my mother when she was in her 40s and 50s. But sometimes I wonder if I should dress more like the old lady I am rather than a middle-aged woman.

After reading Rhonda's post "Feminine Differential - Body Image," I am convinced I am good.

Rhonda's post is a good read and I urge you to see it for yourself. In it, she refers to a recent post about body image from a blog called Haute Business Fashion and Finance written by that blog's author, Helen.

After perusing Helen's post, I added her blog to my Blog List for future reference. Helen is about 10 years younger than I, but we have some things in common... wouldn't you say?

Helen and I

Wearing Veronica Beard blazer.

The beautiful Terence Stamp femulating for the 1994 Australian film
The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert.

My Secrets

Paula wrote, "Love your style; please share your secrets with us!"

I had to think about my "secrets" because most of what I do style-wise comes naturally to me. I don't think about it, I just do it. And this is what I do.

Emphasize your assets.

My legs are my best assets, so I show them off by wearing short skirts and high heels. Heels make my legs even more shapely and short skirts reveal the results.

And there is some truth when I say, "My skirt's not too short – my legs are too long! " I have resigned myself to the fact that the styles I prefer are going to be on the short side due to my leg length.

Dress for your body's age, not your calendar age.

My arms are svelte enough for sleeveless sheaths and my legs are toned enough for short hemlines, so I show off what I've got (while I've still got it).

When in doubt, wear nude pumps.

Matched to my skin tone, they're a safe bet and they make my legs look even longer.

If it works, keep working with it.

When I find a style that looks good on me, I become a fan of that style and populate my wardrobe with more examples of that style. For example, I discovered that I look good in wrap dresses and as a result, I now own an assortment of wrap dresses.

On the other hand, keep an open mind. When you are shopping, try on styles that are not in your style book. You never know – it may look great on you. That's how I discovered that jumpsuits belong in my style book.

Never buy a boring coat.

"Outerwear should never be an afterthought," says Holmes & Yang co-designer Jeanne Yang. "So many people only see you in your coat—if you're not wearing something great underneath your trench, they'll never even know!"

With that thought in mind, fur coats are never boring. I own two full-length fur coats and a fur jacket. And I love animals, so all my furs are fake.

Own something in animal print.

Animal prints are timeless, racy enough, and always glamorous. I own a variety of animal print clothing and accessories.

Scarves are not for hiding.

Scarves are recommended for girls like us to hide our Adam's apple. I don't have much of an Adam's apple, so I never wore scarves... until about five years ago, when I came across my dear departed Mother's stash of scarves. One girls' night out, I wore one of her scarves in her honor; I liked the look and began collecting and wearing my own stash of scarves.

Bigger jewelry is better jewelry.

Most girls like us are proportionally larger than cisgender girls. As a result, some of the jewelry designed for cis-girls is proportionally too small for us. So when I shop for jewelry, I shop for jewelry that is bigger rather than smaller.

***

If you have any questions about my secrets or anything else, please ask (stana-stana at sbcglobal.net).

(Thanks to InStyle.com for helping me bring out my secrets.)

Caveat Emptor: This post is an edited rerun from two years ago

Michalina Manios, a Polish gurl

64 and counting

Thank you all for your birthday wishes.

When I listened to The Beatles' LP Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band in 1967 and heard the tune "When I'm Sixty-Four," I thought that it would certainly take "many years from now" before I reached that age.

But voila!, 48 years went by a lot faster than I anticipated and I found myself blowing out 64 candles on my birthday cake. (In truth, due to the danger of fire, my family decided to play it safe and presented me with only a dozen candles to deal with.)

The perception of being six decades old evolved during those 48 years.

Back in 1967, my grandparents were all spending their sixth seventh decade on the planet Earth. My grandmothers dressed like most of the other women their age, that is, they dressed like old ladies ― fashion-wise, they made no attempt to compete with the younger generations.

Their fashion sense reminded me of a line from the Saturday Night Live advertisement parody for Mom Jeans, "Get her something that says, 'I'm not a woman anymore, I'm a Mom!'"

Things changed and by the time my mother reached her sixth seventh decade in the late 1970s, 60-year-old women were dressing more stylish than their mothers had in their sixth seventh decade... stylish enough that this girl was still borrowing stuff from Mom's wardrobe when her Social Security checks began showing up.

Things kept changing and today, 60 is the new 40. People are living healthier and thus longer lives. Reaching your sixth seventh decade in the 2010s does not have the same connotations as it did in the 1960s.

Again, I recall that  American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) commercial about a woman of a certain age who knows her way around miniskirts and can run in high heels.

Admittedly, not everyone my age fits that description... not even me. I seldom run even in flats, but I typically walk wearing heels, my hemlines seldom gets acquainted with my knees and I plan to dress my "age" (40, not 60) as long possible!

I go, girl!

 

 

 

Wearing Max Mara.

 

 

 

Actor Peter Capaldi in British television’s Prime Suspect 3.

Throwback Thursday: Not As Stuck

Susan of Transitioning into Tomorrow fame suggested that "it would be interesting if you repost some of your older posts and then comment on them as Stana 2015. Has your life, appearance and/or thoughts changed since then?"

I like Susan's idea and since she suggested that I revisit my December 12, 2007 post, "Stuck At Home" as an example, that is what I am going to do.

Here is the original post:

My dear friend Diana often e-mails me to ask if I would like to go out en femme with her. I turn her down more often than I accept her invitation.

Diana is single and lives as a woman full-time. I am married and live as a woman part-time.

Most of the time, I am in male mode because my wife married a man and prefers me in boy mode. She dislikes it when I am in girl mode and to keep the peace, I agreed that I only do the girly thing on a limited basis.

I am in male mode most of the time also because my employer hired a man and might not be too happy if I showed up at work in a dress and heels on days that don't end the month of October.

When Diana wants to go out, she opens the door and she is out (lucky girl!). When I want to go out, it is more complicated. I need two hours at a minimum to transform from boy mode to girl mode. And if it is an evening outing, that means leaving work early to get ready.

Since there are a number of complications in my girl life, I have to pick and choose my en femme outings and as a result, I have to turn Diana down more often than I would like. I just hope she doesn't get tired of my rejections and stops asking!

Here is my 2015 take on that 2007 post:

The situation is basically the same with my wife. When I am with her either at home or away, I am in boy mode. However, when I am away without her, girl mode is always an option.

The situation at work has changed for the better since 2007. I came out to Human Resources, my manager, my supervisor and a few of my co-workers. Most were surprised, but my supervisor having witnessed most of my Halloween office girl "costumes" said she was not surprised. The powers that be at work have encouraged me to dress appropriately for my transgender, but I have not taken them up on that yet because I have hesitated talking to my wife about it.

Regarding my need for "two hours at a minimum to transform from boy mode to girl mode," that has also changed for the better. I can usually get ready in an hour more or less assuming that I have maintained a hairless status for my body parts that show.

And my appearance has changed for the better. I am definitely more expert at makeup application and I believe that my fashion sense has improved a little, too. (By the way, the accompanying selfie was taken a few days before I wrote that 2007 post.)

Finally, Diana is a very good friend and still asks me to join her on en femme outings despite my many rejections.

 

 

 

Wearing Valentino.

 

 

 

Not your father’s men’s club meeting.

Like Father, Like Daughter

There is some truth to the above cartoon on a personal level.

Doing the laundry Sunday, I found a load of clothes in the dryer that belonged to my daughter. As I was sorting and folding her clothing, I noticed that she and I wear the same style of Victoria's Secret panties. Hers are a size smaller than mine, but some of the colors and patterns of her panties matched mine exactly!

We both also wear Victoria's Secret bras, but our bras are not an exact match like our panties.

My daughter also has a penchant for high heels. I guess she takes after her Daddy!

Like Father, Like Son

Zooey & Co.

One reason I watched the Golden Globes awards show Sunday night was to see the ladies dressed to the nines.

By far, my favorite dressed-to-the-nines lady was Zooey Deschanel. I also liked (in alphabetical order) Angelina Jolie, Stacy Keibler, Maria Menounos, Emma Stone, Reese Witherspoon and Evan Rachel Wood, but I thought Zooey was to die for.

On the other hand, there also were ladies on the red carpet who lacked fashion sense, for example, Lee Michele, Emily Watson, Kyle Richards, and Julianna Margulies. But hands down, the worst of the lot was Kelly Osbourne, who looked like she was carrying a 1959 Cadillac on her back.

By the way, The Huffington Post has a slideshow of 97 dressed-to-the-nines ladies from the Golden Globes.

How To Develop Your Own Style

"I believe that when it comes to being successful at anything, experimentation is the key. It's essential to try new things so that you know what works & what doesn't! It just makes sense: the more information you have on a subject, the more capable you are of making first-class choices. When it comes to what's hanging in your closet, there are plenty of things you can do to start constructing a more substantial vision of your personal aesthetic."

So begins Gala Darling's great article from The Huffington Post. I highly recommend this article to all of you who are serious about femulating, especially if you are taking your femulations out to the streets.

Being a fashionista for a number of decades (that I prefer not to count), I found that I already follow some of Ms. Darling's suggestions. For example, I always take photos of my outfits, as she recommends, "Then take a series of pictures: front, back & side are most helpful when it comes to assessing how you look. (So few of us know what we look like from the back! This can be a total revelation, if a bit horrifying the first couple of times!)"

I do take photos, but I never thought to take photos from the "back & side," which makes perfect sense. After all, other people are just as likely to see me (and you) from the side or back as they are from the front.

Again, I highly recommend reading Ms. Darling's article, which is posted here.

my fashion sense

I have fashion sense.

I can put outfits together and accessorize them. I can also do my makeup and style my hair (wigs). I'm no expert, but I think that for a natural born guy, I do well doing those girly things.

I read and practice a lot to improve my girly skills, but I think there is more to it than that. I think that I took after my Mom.

Mom was a fashion plate. We were not rich by any means; we were lower middle class at best, but Mom always dressed very nicely wearing outfits she sewed herself.

Mom was also beautiful and did not have to wear a lot of makeup. Lipstick, powder, and rouge were the only ingredients in her makeup bag.

Overall, Mom's look was very classy.

I inherited my fashion sense from Mom. Over the years, I honed my girly skills, but to start, my basic girly skills came from Mom. When I was a little girly boy, I was fascinated watching her do her hair and makeup and sew pretty clothes to wear with beautiful hats and always, with high heels.

I am a high heel maven just like my Mom. In fact, a lot of girls my age have an affinity for high heels because our mothers came from a generation in which high heels were the standard footwear for going out. Similarly, girls my age favor dresses because that is what our mothers wore most of the time.

It is not only me; many of us get our fashion sense from our Moms. Luckily, my Mom had a great fashion sense and a little of that rubbed off on me.