Various Topics of Interest

I wear clip-on earrings, but they are getting harder to find. Avon stopped selling them and last time I visited the mall shopping for them, I came home empty-handed. 

A few days ago, while placing another Amazon order, I thought that since Amazon sells just about everything, maybe they sell clip-on earrings, too. A quick search revealed that they do sell clip-ons and I ordered two sets (these* and those*).

They arrived today and I am happy with y purchase. A nice feature is that unlike the clip-ons I already owned, the clips on these are tiny and look like pierced earrings.

👠👠👠

I was very surprised to learn that Virgin Atlantic Airways announced updates to its gender identity policy that include allowing staff to wear gender pronoun badges and eliminating the gendered uniform requirement. Now, Virgin staff can select which uniform they want to wear. (Source: LGBTQNation)

To add icing on the cake, Virgin Atlantic job applications doubled after they allowed women to wear pants and men to wear skirts. (Source: LGBTQNation)

Wow! I think I would feel very comfortable flying en femme on Virgin Atlantic!

👠👠👠 

My good friend Ann Onymous, commenting on yesterday’s post, wrote, “We need a photo of Stana in the dress...”

A photo of me wearing the Venus cocktail dress appears to the above right. I was a little hesitant publishing it because after viewing it, I thought it would look better if I was wearing dark sheer hosiery rather than the black opaque tights.

And so it goes.

* These links go to Amazon.

Wearing Boston Proper

Virgin Atlantic flight attendants wearing his/her uniforms. You can view Virgin Atlantic’s short video introducing the new uniform policy on YouTube. 

Signs

After yet another complaint about clip-on earrings, Robin wrote urging me to get my ears pierced. She mentioned that if the pain of getting my ears pieced was the issue, I had nothing to fear but ear fear itself, because the pain "was nothing."

I replied that I usually get my teeth fixed without Novocain or whatever they use these days, so pain is not an issue. Rather, my spouse is the issue.

She is not thrilled with the fact that her husband is a woman, but she realizes that I must let my girl out for air once in awhile. I appreciate that she is OK with me being the authentic me some of the time, but I don't want to rub her nose in it.

Everyday, she sees signs that remind her that her husband is a woman.

We share a walk-in closet and as she enters it, she encounters a rack now half full of her husband's dresses, skirts, blouses, and slacks. On the floor below those pretty things are countless boxes containing her husband's high heels. Next to the shoes are storage totes containing her husband's lingerie and hosiery. Next to the totes is her husband's cosmetics box. Still other totes contain her husband's jewelry and purses. And on the shelf above her tops and jeans is a tote containing her husband's wigs.

If I dress as a woman when my spouse is home, I avoid my spouse so that she does not see her husband as a woman because she has often said, "I don't want to see you dressed as a woman." (On occasion, curiosity gets the best of her and she wants to see how I look, but I don't show her unless she is interested.)

My body has signs that may remind her that I am a woman. My hairless arms, legs, breasts, shoulders and back are the most obvious signs.

Less obvious are my neatly maintained eyebrows (eyeglasses hide how neat and feminine they actually look).

She never mentions the stuff in our closet, nor my shaved body, nor my feminized eyebrows – out of sight, out of mind.

But if I had my ears pierced, there would be no way to hide that from her. It would be a constant reminder that I am a woman, so I let it be.

Wearing Bebe (Source: Bebe)

Fran Heuser

Loving All Earrings

This is the third in a seven-part series of posts written by Femulate Contributing Editor Susan King of Transitioning into Tomorrow fame. Susan describes how to determine your face shape and then, how to put that information to good use.

I love wearing earrings because they feminize, add color and balance my face. It's fun trying to match the correct style and color with my outfit.

I used to wear clip-on earrings only because I could not pierce my ears. Then a few years ago, I learned how to wear pierced earrings without piercing my ears and how the shape of your face can assist you in choosing the proper earrings.

I now wear colorful stud earrings without pierced ears. I even have a few dangling earrings. I cut off  the stud from the earrings and use nail glue to attach the earring to my ear lobe. It works great as ou can see here.

I still buy earrings based on color and design and now I have so many more choices. The only determining factor is the shape of my face. This past Friday I wrote a post about determining your face shape. Mine is oval, but it's changing due to my HRT. My face is thinning which is changing my shape from oval to oblong. 

Based on the two earring guides below, there is not much difference in the choices for oval and oblong. The first guide has a few differences and the second guide does not include oval, so I consider oval in the oblong group.

In the second guide, the "Oblong and Rectangle" group represents my current pierced earring styles. Again, I cut off the stud and glue the earring on my lobe. Once I remove my earring, I can wash or rub off the remaining glue.

I found this nice storage bin at Goodwill and use it to hold my chip-on earrings. I still use them, but I mostly use my stud-less pieced earrings.

I love shopping and wearing earrings that match or highlight my outfit and the rest of my jewelry. The right jewelry can enhance that outfit. 

Go shop and have fun.

Wearing Neiman Marcus.

Jai Rodriguez femulates on a 2011 episode of television Harry's Law.

SaveSave

Piercing and Shaving

Susie Hune recently wrote to me about piercing her ears and removing her hair. Her thoughts on these topics were interesting and I want to share them with you.

A summer or so ago, my daughter and granddaughter finally convinced my wife that I should get my ears pierced (took about three years). Conservatively, I’ve noticed that about 90% of the guys with any kind of earring are wearing them on both ears. (I think they can’t remember for sure which side they’re supposed to go in!)

So we all trooped over to the mall and Piercing Pagoda and got ‘em done. I got the little gold balls that were unobtrusive and wore them to Mass the next day. I had one comment by a friend of mine in the choir, followed by another member. Both were very positive! No comments from any of my other choir members… or even sneaky glances! It was a non-event and very anti-climactic. Not sure how I feel about that.

Now I have access to my wife’s earrings and have had fun going out to Kay Jewelers to pick out new ones (as Susie, of course).

So, no time like the present, Stana. In fact, give yourself a present!

This leads to another subject: outward appearances and what the public will accept.

I’m almost 70 and one of my greatest regrets is that I didn’t have something done with my body hair when I was younger. I body shave everyday and it’s time-consuming to say the least. Half-hour showers are the norm and I wish removal of gray hair with laser was possible.

If I have one suggestion for anyone in our shoes (heels), it’s find ANY excuse to get all the non-female hair removed from your body as young as you can!!! Laser or electrolysis… just get it removed! There will come a time in your life where you’ll regret not doing so. If you consider that I spend about 30 minutes per day for face and body… multiplied by 365 days per year… that’s a lot of shaving cream, razor blades, and water. The plus side is the feeling you have when you are hair-free below the neck. Oooh, that’s nice, particularly in a nightie!

And again, I go everywhere in the summer in women’s shorts with bare legs and no one gives me a glance (except for the few that know all about me and from them I hear “nice legs!”)
.
In summary, get your ears pierced, Stana, and encourage your readers to get all their masculine hair removed using any and all excuses available.

Wearing La Femme.

Xavier Dolan

The Care and Feeding of Clip-On Earrings

By Amy

Today, our regular contributor, Amy, writes about clip-on earrings.

I have not pierced my ears, but may yet find the courage to do it someday. I can rationalize lash extensions, Botox, dermal fillers and long hair for every day, but just haven’t taken this step. Go figure.

Clip-ons can be maddening as some are too loose, some are too tight, while seemingly few are just right. I have a couple pair that cause my ear lobes to scream after a full day of wear.

Those earrings that are too tight often get taken off when I am in the car and placed on my lap as I drive, while I rub my ear lobes! Then I forget where they are, jump out of the car and they go bouncing across the parking lot, sometimes unseen and lost. I often walk into my destination and discover my ears are bare!

But I get along pretty well with clip-ons. If I find a pair of post earrings that I just have to have, I can usually get them made as or converted to clip-ons when I order them. Alternately, after the purchase, I may take them to my jeweler for conversion.

Some jewelers don’t want to mess with this type of work especially if they are made with base metals and some won’t even bother with silver. Since most my earrings are not gold, I have found a couple of local jewelers who will fix whatever I come in the door with.

I found the Earring Doctor that has a great assortment of fixes for clip-ons and posts. The Earring Doctor has a good selection of pads that better distribute the pressure of the clip-on and also correct a heavy earring from sliding off – critical! They even have a wrench like tool for adjustments.

I just purchased a vintage pair of Chanel clip-ons, quite large with large pearls as drops. The weight of these really requires a sticky pad on the back of my lobe. I have a trick for heavy earrings; I use a broad pad on the back clip and a dab of It Stays skin adhesive on the back side of my lobe. This creates a really nice holding surface that lasts; you can forget about losing one or both earrings and enjoy your day.

Coco Chanel once said, "I always take off at least one piece of jewelry before I leave the house… to ensure that I am not overdoing it."

Good advice.

Wearing Jay Godfrey.

Boys and girls crossdressed at a Christmas party, circa 1935.

Signs

In response to my clip-on earrings post on Monday, Robin wrote urging me to get my ears pierced. She mentioned that if the pain of getting my ears pieced was the issue, I had nothing to fear but ear fear itself, because the pain "was nothing."

I replied that I usually get my teeth fixed without Novocain or whatever they use these days, so pain is not an issue.. Rather, my spouse is the issue.

She is not thrilled with the fact that her husband is a woman, but she realizes that I must let my girl out for air once in awhile. I appreciate that she is OK with me being the authentic me some of the time, but I don't want to rub her nose in it.

Everyday, she sees signs that remind her that her husband is a woman.

We share a walk-in closet and as she enters it, she encounters a rack now half full of her husband's dresses, skirts, blouses, and slacks. On the floor below those pretty things are countless boxes containing her husband's high heels. Next to the shoes are storage totes containing her husband's lingerie and hosiery. Next to the totes is her husband's cosmetics box. Still other totes contain her husband's jewelry and purses. And on the shelf above her tops and jeans is a tote containing her husband's coiffures.

If I dress as a woman when my spouse is home, I avoid my spouse so that she does not see her husband as a woman because she has often said, "I don't want to see you dressed as a woman." (On occasion, curiosity gets the best of her and she wants to see how I look, but I don't show her unless she is interested.)

My body has signs that may remind her that I am a woman. My hairless arms, legs, breasts, shoulders and back are the most obvious signs.

Less obvious are my neatly maintained eyebrows (eyeglasses hide how neat and feminine they actually look).

She never mentions the stuff in our closet, nor my shaved body, nor my feminized eyebrows --- out of sight, out of mind.

But if I had my ears pierced, there would be no way to hide that from her. It would be a constant reminder that I am a woman, so I let it be.

 

 

 

Wearing Light in the Box.

 

 

 

Femulating British sailor, circa 1910

I’m All Ears

As an Avon lady for over 18 years, I have seen a lot of Avon jewelry come my way. And whenever that jewelry includes clip-on earrings, I almost always make a purchase because my Avon lady discount makes the price just right.

I do the same thing when I am out shopping en femme. Clip-on earrings are such a rarity that I often buy what I find.

As a result, I have bought a lot of earrings that I never wear. Instead, I wear the same favorite clip-ons over and over again. So it makes sense to stop buying earrings I don't wear and buy earrings like those I prefer to wear, that is, vintage-style clip-on earrings.

Try finding vintage-style clip-on earrings. Antique stores have them, but they are expensive. I bought two pairs at a Provincetown antique store last time I attended Fantasia Fair and the price was right because it was the dead end of the season. The price is not right most of the rest of the time.

Then it occurred to me to try shopping where I have found many bargains in the past: eBay.

A quick search on eBay turned up a truckload of clip-on earrings including the kind I like. I placed some bids and succeeded seven times for a total cost of $16.95. Two pairs of earrings were $6 each, while the remaining five pairs were 99 cents each. Shipping was free on the $6 pairs and only $2.01 for the remaining five pairs, which were one bundle from one seller.

The accompanying photo show the seven pairs I won on eBay. The $6 pairs are the dangly gold strands (lower right) and the gold squares (bottom), which actually have faux mother of pearl, not gold centers.

 

 

 

Wearing Robert Rodriguez.

 

 

 

Actor Julian Eltinge femulating in the 1917 film Countess Charming.

I’m Transitioning

I’m transitioning pierced earrings to clip-on earrings using the converters that Avon sells. After some trial and error, I have the transitioning procedure down pat.

Step 1. Bend the post of the pierced earring 90°. To avoid snapping the post off the earring, use a small pair of needle nose pliers to grasp the post at its base and slowly bend the rest of the post 90° with your thumb.
Step 2. Using a glue that will bond metal, apply a dab of glue to the bent post with a toothpick.
Step 3. Insert the post into the tube of the converter.
Step 4. Position the earring at a 90° angle with relation to the converter. Let the glue dry thoroughly.

You can skip using the glue, but soon the post will loosen inside the tube of the converter. Then the earring will flop around and fall out of the tube. The glue stabilizes the post inside the tube and I recommend using the glue.

UPDATE: It is early, but I have already received comments and e-mails suggesting that getting my ears pierced is preferable to using clip-ons. My reply is that if I was living as a woman full-time (or nearly full-time), I would consider getting my ears pierced. But since I am part-time and have a big investment in a large collection of clip-ons, I will stick with the clips.

 

 

 

The femulating French Lolita.

 

 

 

She is reputed to be a femulator, but I don’t know for sure.
Nevertheless, I love what she is wearing.

My Favorite Thing

I went out en femme yesterday.

I wore the brown "draped brooch shift" dress and necklace that I bought at Dress Barn in June. I accessorized with my simulated snake skin bag and peep-toe slingback heels (see the first photo).

I learned something new yesterday: perfumes stain.

When I finished dressing, I dabbed on some Chanel Eau de Cologne No. 22. A couple of drops got away from me and landed on the hem of my dress. I assumed the drops would evaporate, so I didn't think anything of it.

Hours later, I noticed that the perfume drops had left stains on my dress. (I hope they come out in the wash.)

Dressed and out the door at 9:45 AM, my first stop was the Ann Taylor store in West Farms Mall in Farmington. I saw some attractive dresses on their website that I wanted to see in person.

Entering through Macy's, I walked through half the mall to get to Ann Taylor. On my way, a few women smiled and some said "Hello," a few guys looked my way, and no one pointed and shouted, "She's a man," so I felt confident about my femulation.

I entered Ann Taylor and a "saleswoman" greeted me and pointed out the racks of dresses that were on sale. (I put saleswoman in quotation marks because the two women working in Ann Taylor yesterday looked like high school kids to me. I realize they were not that young, but their ages were a lot closer to high school age than mine!)

The saleswoman loved my shoes, but admitted that shoes like mine hurt a lot. We discussed the perils of high heels, then she complimented my necklace. (Yesterday, I received a lot of compliments for my necklace.)

I noticed that all the dresses in the store topped out at size 14, whereas larger sizes are available online. Eyeballing the size 14s, they looked like ample size 14s, so I found three dresses to try on.

I managed to slip into all three dresses and close their zippers. The dresses were gorgeous and would look very nice on me if they were one size larger (or I was one size smaller). As is, they were just a little too tight, so I left Ann Taylor empty-handed and disappointed.

I decided to walk to the other end of the mall to JCPenney. They have a huge dress department and I almost always have shopping success there. I spent about an hour in JCPenney looking through the dress racks and trying on my finds.

During the hunt, I was very surprised to find the exact same Dress Barn dress I was wearing for sale. I had assumed incorrectly that Dress Barn and JCPenney did not sell the same lines of clothing, so I learned something new twice yesterday.

My hunt ended with two dresses making the final cut, a purple ruffle dress ("Flowing ruffles add a feminine flair to this sheath dress in a comfortable matte jersey") and a sleeveless black/teal color-block sheath ("Bold colorblock print adds a modern twist to this classic silhouette.").

Trying on a dress makes all the difference in the world when shopping. I knew the ruffle dress would look good on me assuming that it fit, whereas the color-block sheath was one of those dresses I was not sure about. I grabbed it as a "what-the-heck" pick since I was going to the dressing room to try on some other dresses anyway. Turned out it was one of the nicest dresses (on me) that I tried on yesterday. So, you never know.

I took my finds to the cashier and she asked if I wanted to use my JCPenney credit card.

I said I wanted to pay cash.

She asked if I had a JCPenney credit card.

I said I did, but have not used it in years.

She tried to convince me to sign up for a new credit card and get a 20% discount on all my purchases that day.

I knew I would have to show a photo identification to apply for a new card and I was a little reluctant to out myself whether or not the cashier had already figured me out. But the 20% discount was hard to resist, so I relented.

As I handed the saleswoman my driver's license, I commented that I looked a little different than when the license photo was taken.

She glanced at the license and then said something to the effect that my hairdo was now much bigger.

For a fleeting moment, I wondered if I had not outed myself afterall and that she thought that the license photo just showed me, a woman, with a short female hairdo. But there is a big letter "M" next to the "Sex:" on the license that is a dead giveaway.

I'll never know what she thought, but whatever the case, she was very pleasant, treated me politely throughout our encounter and that's alright by me.

After leaving the dress department, I passed the jewelry department and checked out the earring racks for those rare hard-to-find clip-ons. There were a handful and I found a retro style pair that I purchased with my new 20% off credit card.

A saleswoman rang up my purchase and mentioned that they were getting in some more clip-ons from Monet.

I told her I would be back and I am sure I will be.

My day out as a woman was going very well except for one thing: I felt lousier as the day progressed. By the time I exited JCPenney, I had an intense headache and was so tired that I could have taken a nap right on the spot.

I decided to call it a day if I did not feel any better by the time I walked the length of the mall back to Macy's where my chariot awaited me. I stopped briefly at a couple of stores along the way, but more or less made a bee-line to Macy's.

I did not feel any better, but I thought the fresh air might help. It was now raining, so I sprinted to my car as quickly as my high heels would permit me and regrouped.

It was hot and stuffy inside, so I turned on the ignition and cranked up the air conditioning. The AC did not help; I did not feel any better, so I decided to return from whence I came.

Upon my return, I took a short nap (I rarely nap during the day unless I am ill). I felt a little better afterword.

Before I returned to boy mode, I took some photos wearing my new dresses. (You can compare me with the models on the JCPenney website in the second and third photos. By the way, I did not cut off the model’s head --- JCPenney did it)

I was disappointed that it was a short day out en femme, but it was a day out en femme and that is a wonderful thing!

I highly recommend it to everyone.

All-Woman

I have lived in the same area of Connecticut all my life and I have never seen a month of winter weather like the past 31 days! In that time, we had seven snowstorms resulting in a snowfall total of over 5 feet!

The weather has played havoc on my plans to go out. Yesterday, I mentioned cancelling my day trip to First Event because of the weather. Other plans have met similar fates.

It snowed again (10 inches) early yesterday morning, so I worked from home rather than commute to the office.

While clearing the snow from my driveway at noontime, I decided I had had enough; I made up my mind to go out en femme in the evening.

Late in the afternoon, I shaved, showered, did my makeup, and dressed to go out. I wore my Victoria's Secret green sweater dress, brown tights, open-toed snakeskin high heel pumps, and matching snakeskin patterned scarf. I also wore my white fake fur jacket and brown designer knock-off bag.

If you think wearing high heels is an adventure, try it when there is snow, slush, and ice in your path. But I toughed it out for the sake of fashion!

I drove to a very nice Chinese restaurant in the next town. It was about one-quarter full of customers. No one paid me any mind (that I noticed).

My waiter was very polite and called me "Miss." I had a very pleasant dinner and at the end, the waiter presented me with a free dessert: a ball of coconut ice cream.

After dinner, I touched up my lipstick and drove to a nearby Fashion Bug. It was very quiet in the “Bug” --- only one other customer.

The sales staff was very attentive. One saleswoman tried to convince me to be measured and fitted for a pair of a figure-hugging jeans.

I was interested, but I was not sure how I could try on jeans when I was wearing a dress. I had no spare top, so I figured that I would have to strip down to my bra and body shaper. Normally, that would not bother me, but I had not removed enough body hair to strip down to that degree, so I politely turned her down.

I spent about a half hour browsing through the store. I really wasn't looking for anything in particular, but I did find some clip-on earrings that I liked and purchased.

At check-out, I used my Fashion Bug credit card. The cashier, who was the same person who tried to fit me for jeans, asked for additional identification.

I assumed the she was aware I was a male en femme, so I thought nothing about handing her my driver's license.

She looked at it and asked, "Is this your husband?"

"Uh oh," I thought to myself.

"No, that's me," I replied.

She finally realized reality and burst out, "Oh my, God, you look fantastic!"

"Thank-you," I said.

As she was checking me out, she added, "You know, we have other male customers, who dress as women, and I spot them right away, but I never would have guessed you were a guy! You not only look like a woman --- you move like a woman, you talk like a woman, you act like a woman --- you’re all-woman!”

With that, my high heels never touched the slush as I walked on air out of the store and drove home.

new bling-bling

Most of my jewelry is of the inexpensive costume variety. However, I recently received a gift certificate for LuShae Jewelry and I was able to add some real bling to my jewelry box.

After peruring LuShae's online catalog, I chose a pendant called Cluster of Ruby. Here is its catalog description:

The Cluster of Ruby CZ pendant is beautifully designed with ruby red CZ and round clear CZ all clustered together for that indulged look. It draws attention and adds style with elegance to your favorite top or dress. White Gold Rhodium Bond is achieved using an electroplating process that coats the item with heavy layers of rhodium, a close cousin of platinum that costs three times as much, which gives our jewelry a platinum luster.

The pendant arrived one week after I placed my order.

In this fashionista's opinion, the pendant is drop-dead gorgeous. It is one of the prettiest pieces of jewelry I own.

I look forward to wearing the pendant, but first I have to find earrings to go with it. And when I do, I plan to wear my new bling to a fancy occasion, probably to one of the formal affairs coming up in this spring.