Out Finally

I made a promise to myself that as soon I was finished with physical therapy, I was going to have a girl's day out. My final physical therapy session was last Tuesday, so I checked my calendar and this Tuesday was open.

Lazy girl that I am, I did not maintain a clean shaven body all summer because I knew I was not going out anytime soon. So Monday afternoon I took on the task of removing a summer's worth of body hair.

The Philips Norelco Bodygroomer I bought last year made the job easy and in about an hour, my body was hairless again. Truth be told, my legs have been shorn so many times during the past 55 years that there is not much growing there anymore, so most of the hair removal was on my arms and torso and just a few tufts of hair on my knees and toes.

Tuesday morning, I shaved my face, showered, ate breakfast, watched Morning Joe, did my makeup and got dressed. I wore the Calvin Klein floral scuba shift dress that I bought last time I shopped at Dress Barn in the spring. I felt it was appropriate to wear that dress because one goal for the day was to go to Dress Barn and use my gift cards before they shutter the store forever.

The high heels I chose were loose and kept slipping off my feet. My wife warned me that my feet would shrink if I lost weight and I guess she was right. Thirty pounds lighter, I had to try on four pairs of shoes until I found a pair that was less prone to slipping off my feet.

The solution was a compromise because there still was some slippage and by day's end, my feet were tired from gripping my shoes all day long. I guess it's time to go shoe shopping. (I so miss Payless!)

I drove to the Dress Barn in a strip mall that is a stone's throw from my former place of employment. I shopped there so often that I knew the staff by name and the staff knew me in girl and boy mode.

I began perusing the racks and I was greeted by the store manager. I told her about my lost summer and we discussed the demise of Dress Barn. I mentioned that I received a letter last week that my Dress Barn credit card would be no good after October 31, so I thought that might be the day they finally close all the stores. She thinks that the last day will be December 24, which makes more sense.

You would never know that the store was going out of business. The racks were full of fresh fall fashions and I took three dresses to the dressing room to try on. All three were size 14 and all three fit perfectly and to make matters worse, all three looked great on me!

I was afraid to try on anything else, so I avoided the racks and made a bee-line to the store representative staffing the cash register and burned through my gift cards.

I took my purchases to my Subaru, then drove to WestFarms Mall where I thought I could do some window shopping and if I got hungry, dine at Brio Tuscan Grille or P.F. Chang's. I perused the racks at Macy's and found another dress to die for, but lucky for my purse, they did not have it in my size.

After window shopping for a half hour, I was a little hungry and my feet were a lotta tired, so I flipped a coin and went to Brio for lunch.

Not too much to say about Brio. As usual, I was treated like a lady and the food was delicious. The waitress said my dress was "beautiful" and she applauded me for wearing heels as I exited the establishment.

Back home by 4 PM, I was tired, but exhilarated by my girl's day out. I will have to do it again real soon now.

Wearing Boston Proper

Kazik Mazur femulates Alicja Majewska on Polish television's Twoja Twarz Brzmi Znajomo.

Today is Tuesday

We Will Miss Dress Barn

Heather informed me about this interesting Vox article "When I couldn’t tell the world I wanted to transition, I went to Dressbarn." I'm sure many of you can relate to this piece as did I.

Stairs and High Heels

This how-to from Abby of Vivian Lou Insolia insoles fame is worth reviewing even if you read it before.

While it's quite empowering to dress up and get out and about, I've been reminded (on more than one occasion) to be careful on the stairs!

Let's quickly review the 'how to' of stairs in heels.

Going Up

:: Visualize a straight line going up toward your end point, rather than looking down at your feet as you climb.

:: As you walk up the step, place your body weight on the ball of the foot. This means that the back of the heel will most likely hang off the step.

:: While ascending, place one foot right in front of the other on the next step.

:: Hold on to the railing if necessary.

Going Down

:: Hold the railing for support. Keep your grip strong, but relax the rest of your arm and shoulder. Gently glide your hand down the railing as you descend.

:: At first, you may need to look down at the stairs to determine depth and steepness. After a few steps (if possible), visualize a straight line going toward your end point, rather than looking down at your heels.

:: Place as much of the shoe (heel and front of the shoe) on the step as possible. Depending on the depth of the step, you may want to push your shoe back until it touches the back of the step to make sure as much shoe as possible is making contact.

:: If the stairs are narrow, you may try tilting your body at a 45 degree angle feet and stepping down on an angle. Place one foot in front of the other on the next step down. This method definitely takes practice!

:: Go slow. Take your time heading down stairs in heels. Better to be safe than sorry!

As with most other difficult tasks, the more you walk up and down stairs in heels, the easier it becomes.

Finding the Right Eyebrow Color for Your Hair

Women like us can switch hair color faster than you can say "Henry Margu." When I switched from blonde to the brunette-red mix I wear today, I noticed that my eyebrow color did not look right. Did I need to go lighter or darker?

This article from InStyle would have helped and will help you if you make the switch.

Me on YouTube

I appear at 1:57 in this YouTube video collection of photos from Hamvention.

Wearing Venus

Yours truly wearing Venus

Breaking (Heart) News: Dress Barn Closing

Dress Barn AKA Roz & Ali is going out of business. A half dozen readers have passed along the bad news, so I thought that I would pass along the news, too.

In addition to readers informing me about Dress Barn, I received a text message from my cousin relaying the news. I was very surprised to receive that text because I am not out to that wing of the family. How did she find out that I am a Dress Barn / Roz & Ali customer?

Turns out that my cousin had birthday-gifted my wife a Dress Barn gift card last year and she wanted to make sure my wife used it before Dress Barn shutters its doors!

(By the way, I am composing a post or two about my Hamvention weekend, so please stand-by.)

Whole Lot of Shaking Going On

My grocery shopping outfit!

Two days out as a woman in the same week was a rare and wonderful experience. And it will take more than one blog posting to tell you all about it, so bear with me.

Before I get into the details, I want to mention how supportive my wife has become. She does not bat an eye when I tell her I have plans as a woman. Although she still can't get over the time and effort I put into my femulation, she heaps praise on me when I show her how I look for each outing. And so it goes.

Thursday's plans were to have lunch with four trans girls I have known like forever and then do some shopping.

The weather was on the cool side, so I wore the same sweater dress I wore in January when I attended the Prudential Financial dinner.

Lunch was at an old Victorian house that had been converted into a restaurant. I had never dined there, but the other girls have and found that the staff was accepting. The staff treated us respectfully, but I noticed that the other diners noticed us.

You could not help noticing us. All of us are tall and some of us have voices that are decidedly manly.   So any civilian that looked twice could figure us out and many reacted that they did figure us out. Nothing untoward — just a lot of stares and amused looks, but it shook my confidence and I thought about abandoning the rest of my plans and return home.

I reconsidered when I realized that I was so close to the store I had to go to that it would be silly to drive back in boy mode on Friday. So I drove to Shop Rite to buy dog food and a gift card.

Although I was overdressed for grocery shopping, no one paid any attention to me. Perusing the pet aisle, I came out empty-handed because they did not have the brand of dog food I wanted, so I sashayed over to the customer service desk to buy the gift card.

I waited in line while a guy cashed in his winning lottery ticket and then it was my turn. The woman at the customer service desk was friendly and handled my request in an efficient manner without giving any indication that she knew that I was femulating. So I returned to my car with renewed confidence and proceeded to the nearby Stop & Shop to continue my quest for dog food.

No luck at Stop & Shop and no indication that anyone knew I was femulating... I was just an old woman who lived for shoes. Which just goes to show you that passing/blending when out in a group is much more difficult than being out solo.

This Stop & Shop was next door to the roz&Ali (nee Dressbarn) that I frequented when I was employed, so I decided to visit the store, say hello to the sales reps who knew me well and maybe find something that fits.

I walked in, began perusing the racks and the store manager, who I have known like forever, approached me and we got caught up since it was almost a year since I had last seen her. As she asked me if there was anything in particular I was looking for, I saw a dress on display to die for and said, "I love that dress."

She said that she was almost sold out and did not think I had any in my size, but she took that back when I told her I'm a size 14 and sometimes a 12 now. She found a 12 and a 14 and escorted me to the dressing room.

The 12 was a little tight, but the 14 was just right, so I opened my purse and bought the dress that I intend to wear to my high school reunion, if I decide to go as a woman.

Wearing New York & Company (Source: New York & Company)

📺 Bert Wheeler femulating in the 1931 film Peach-O-Reno.

Sizing Me Up

One week ago, I mentioned here that "I fell in love with this Dress Barn outfit and had to buy it when I discovered it was on sale (40% off) on Cyber Monday."

It arrived on Saturday and I immediately tried it on to see how it looked and fit.

The dress looked absolutely gorgeous and fit perfectly from the bust down, but it was too small from the bust up; there was no way I could zip it closed.

Usually, I go to the local Dress Barn store to try on potential purchases, but this dress was an "online exclusive" and not available in brick and mortar stores, so I had to order online size unseen.

I bought it in size 14, which normally is a good fit for me with Dress Barn clothing, but in this case, I needed a size 16. Problem is that 14 is the largest size available, so I packed up the dress and shipped it back to Dress Barn for a refund.

Interestingly, the dress did not have a Dress Barn label. Instead, it had a Julia Jordan label. After a little googling, I found the exact same dress in size 16 on sale for $59.99 at Rue Lala.

Do I take a chance and order online, size unseen again?

I hemmed and hawed for about 15 minutes and then decided to go for it. My fingers will be crossed until it arrives and I can try it on!

By the way, the dress in the video above is the dress I ordered except the color of mine is gunmetal and not navy blue.

I recently found this lovely skirt suit on Pinterest and had to share it with you. 

Famous femulator Candy Darling accompanying her mentor Andy Warhol 

A Full Femme Friday - Część Druga

After my workshop at the True Colors Conference, one student came up to me to ask some questions that she did not want to ask in front of the other attendees. I happily answered all her questions and she went away a happy camper. (Check out tomorrow's post for the questions and answers.)

I returned to the Student Union to turn in my paperwork and meet up with Diana and Maryann to head out to the Adams Mills Restaurant for an early dinner. I gave Maryann the address of the restaurant so she could program it into her smart phone's GPS, then we went our separate ways to retrieve our vehicles and drive to the restaurant.

Thirty-five minutes later, I arrived at the restaurant. Diana's car was already there, but Maryann's car was not. I went inside, found Diana seated in the upper dining room, ordered a drink and we bided our time until Maryann showed up.

Forty-five minutes later, we gave up on Maryann and ordered our meals. Our male waiter referred to us as ladies and he could have not been nicer. I ordered baked stuffed shrimp with rice pilaf and grilled vegetables. The meal was delicious.

We left the restaurant around 5:30 PM and I headed in the general direction of home. Google Maps indicated that the route I normally take was a mess on the west side of Hartford, which is typical for a weekday evening. The alternate southern route was not so messy, so that's the route I took.

There were a couple of areas where the traffic slowed down, but in general, it was not bad and since I was in no hurry to go home and had gotten my second wind after eating, I decided to visit my favorite Roz & Ali (nee Dress Barn), which was located only a few exits further than I normally would exit to go home.

Entering the store, I did not see any of the sales reps I knew by name and vice versa. This did not surprise me because they usually work days, but I was hoping one of them would be working later so I could see and greet them, but it was not to be.

I had received a $10 Roz & Ali coupon in the mail for my birthday that I had to use by the end of the month and I had recently taken notice of a polka dot jumpsuit on their website, so it was a perfect shopping storm.

I found the rack containing the jumpsuits (see the photo above) and took a size 12 and size 14 to the dressing room. The size 12 fit perfectly, so I returned the 14 to the rack and took the 12 to the cash registers.

The sales rep asked for my phone number, typed it into the terminal, which I assume turned up separate accounts for my wife and myself.

"And you are... ?" she asked.

"Stanley," I replied.

As expected, she did not react negatively and rang up my purchase. And that's all I have to say about that.

During the 30-minute trip home, I reflected on my full femme Friday and felt that it had been very fulfilling and I look forward to more days like it.

Wearing ModCloth (Source: ModCloth)

Polish girl wearing polka dots

You're Hired

Yesterday, I wrote about some career opportunities I might pursue after I leave my present job, including the following: "Would a woman's clothing store hire me as a saleswoman? The managers of the local Dress Barn know me well and like my fashion sense, so maybe they would be willing to hire me."

Truth be told, I had high hopes about working in retail as a woman, but I had great doubts that it was really possible.

In response to yesterday's post, I received e-mails from readers who knew girls who actually worked in retail en femme. Then I received an e-mail from a reader who had actually worked at Nordstrom en femme.

Motivated by the e-mails, I went to Dress Barn during my lunch hour yesterday.

Entering the store, there was only one sales rep on the floor – someone I did not know. She asked me if I needed help and I asked her if there were any managers in the store. She named two and I asked her if I could see the one who I knew from past Dress Barn forays.

The sales rep called out to the manager who was in the stockroom. A minute later, the manager exited the stockroom pushing a rack and when she saw me, she exclaimed, "Stanley!" Then she walked over to me and gave me a big hug.

She asked me how I was and I told her about my job situation. Then I asked her if she would hire me when the time came. And she replied that she certainly would hire me without a second thought!

That was music to my ears!

Wearing Lulu's.

Roman Vojtek femulates Helena Vondrackova on the Czech Republic's version of Your Face Sounds Familiar.

Very Suitable

There's a lot of truth to my Dress Bar ad parody. They don't have Transfashion Specialists at Dress Barn, but their sales reps might as well be.

I shop at Dress Barn frequently. The staff at the local store knows me in boy and girl mode and they are very good at making me look my best as a woman no matter which gender I shop in.

One time I was shopping for a new dress  in boy mode and the sales rep suggested a frock that I would have never given a second look. I tried it on and was not thrilled with the way it looked on me in boy mode. (Which is often the case trying on womenswear en homme.)

The sales rep sensed my lack of enthusiasm, but urged me to buy the dress because she "knew" it would look good on me en femme. If not, I could always return it for a full refund.

I trusted her opinion, bought the dress and when I wore it en femme, it looked gorgeous and received lots of compliments.

And so it goes.

Wearing Metrostyle.

Kansas City femulators, circa 1965

Happy Returns

The rare suit that looks OK on me.

On Tuesday, I was in boy mode when I returned the suit I bought on Monday. I was greeted by one of the Dress Barn sales associates I have known for years.

After an exchange of long-time-no-sees, she asks if I have something for her referring to the bagged suit I am carrying.

There is a woman customer paying up at the cash register about ten feet to my left. In the past, I would have began talking in hushed tones so that the civilian would not know what was up, but I don't care anymore what others think and the sales associate's friendly, positive manner put me in a positive mood, so I did not tone it down one decibel.

"I don't look good in suits and I am returning the one I bought yesterday."

"So why would you buy a suit if you don't look good in them," the sales associate chided me jokingly.

"I was caught up in the moment. I also bought that white cable sweater dress you have for sale. It looked gorgeous on me. So I was on a roll and decided to try my luck on a suit, too."

"That happens," the sales associate replied.

I could not help noticing that the civilian was listening intently!

And so it goes.

Wearing Stylewe.

Jin Xing, television hostess

My Worst Nightmare

I was out all day Monday. (That’s me in the photo before going out.)

In the morning, I did outreach at a Human Sexuality class at Southern Connecticut State University.

After the class, the professor took us out to dine at a local New Haven eatery.

And after dining, I planned to return home. Before starting the car, I called home and discovered that my presence was not required at home as early as I had previously thought, so I had more time to spend out en femme.

I pass a DressBarn on the way home, so I decided to stop and shop.

After shopping at DressBarn, I returned to my car and it won't start! The dashboard lights up, the radio plays, but when I turn the key, all I get is a loud ticking noise.

I have AAA, but I am a little concerned about dealing with AAA en femme.

As I am sitting in my car contemplating my next move and occasionally turning the ignition key to no avail, a small red pickup truck parks next to me just as I am cranking the ignition for the umpteenth time.

Two young fellows get out of the truck. They do not ask me if I needed help. Instead the driver walks to the front of my car and signals to me to pop the hood.

I gladly do so and the two of them poke around the engine compartment, but do not find anything amiss.

I have a set of jumper cables, so we tried jump starting the car, but that does not work.

Since my car has a manual transmission, they suggested rolling the car and popping the clutch to start it. (I had not done that in years and had completely forgotten that trick.)

So they gave my car a little push. The car started rolling across the parking lot and I am trying to pop the clutch, but I am not getting the job done.

Just as I am about to run out of parking lot, I remember that I have to pop it into second gear, not first gear, and as soon as I did, the car started.

I waved my hand out the window to my two "good Samaritans" and headed straight home with my fingers crossed that nothing else would go wrong with my car.

I made it home without issue. This morning, I popped the clutch again to start the car and drove it to my dealer to get it fixed (my car needed a new battery).

I always worried about having car problems when en femme. I thought it could be the worst thing that could happen. Now I am not so sure.

Maybe it is better to be a woman than a man when car problems strike. Would those two fellows be so quick to come to the rescue of a tall middle-aged guy as they were to come to the rescue of a leggy middle-aged blond?

I don't know and I am not anxious to find out again.

(Notary Sojac: This is a redo of a 4-year-old post.)

Wearing Madeleine.

Professional femulator James Ross and son

It Fits

The dress I ordered online from Dress Barn arrived and fit perfectly. It is gorgeous and will be the dress I wear when I accept my award at Hamvention next month. I just have to decide how to accessorize.

Wearing BCBGeneration.

The 2016 Miss Koovagam Transgender Beauty Contest in Villupuram, India.

My Shopping Sites

On Tuesday, Paula left the following comment: Love your style; please share your secrets with us and post your favorite on line shopping sites!

I answered the first part of her request yesterday (my secrets) and will answer the second part of her request today.

Since I prefer to try on items en femme before I purchase them, I use the websites to scope out what is currently available at the brick and mortar stores before I go shopping en femme. I almost never buy anything online from a store that I can visit in person, but I almost always check out their websites beforehand.

One problem with that strategy is that the brick and mortar store may not have everything that is online, but when that occurs, I usually find something else that is just as nice.

On the other hand, there are websites that do not have brick and mortar stores where I do purchase items without being able to try them on first. My success rate with these online-only stores is about 50%. Either the item does not fit correctly or I do not like the way the item looks on moi.

Although, many of these websites make it easy to return items (sometimes for free), I have been buying less from these websites lately because of the lack of success rate and the resulting return issues.

These days, my go-to online-only stores are Avon, ideel (formerly ideeli) and Nine West.

Avon - Yes, the Avon lady people sell very nice clothing at reasonable prices and I have been buying more from them lately. And my success rate with Avon is very high, probably around 90%. By the way, I am an Avon lady and receive a discount on items I buy, but no so much so that the price sways me to buy stuff I would not buy otherwise.

ideel - ideeli sold nice close-out clothing at bargain prices and I purchased items from them frequently. Then they got bought out, changed their name to ideeli, increased their prices and beheaded their models. Since then, I have bought little from them and have a $60 credit that has been sitting there for months, but I still visit their website frequently hoping for the best.

Nine West - They have a vast selection of shoes and their sizes are consistent, but their prices are high, so I only indulge when they have a sale, which is often. By the way, Nine West does have a local brick and mortar store, but they only stock sizes smaller than my size, so their brick and mortar store is useless to me.

As for brick and mortar stores I check out online before I show up in person, they are Dress Barn, Fashion to Figure, Nine West, and Payless. I also check out Macy's and JCPenney, but their inventory is so huge that what I see online often does not match what is in the store, so I usually don't bother unless I am looking for something special.

DressBarn also known as DressBarn - This is one of my favorite clothing stores. Their styles are working girl oriented, but their sizes are a little inconsistent, so I always go to the store to try on what I see online. And, by the way, they are very trans friendly!

Fashion to Figure - This is my other favorite clothing store. They specialize in larger sizes and their styles are younger and sexier than DressBarn. But like DressBarn, their sizes are all over the place, so an in person visit is recommended.
 
Payless - This shoe store has a nice selection of reasonably-priced shoes in the larger sizes that I require. However, their sizes are very inconsistent. I own Payless shoes ranging from size 10.5 to size 13 that all fit, so going to the store and trying on their shoes is a must in order to get the right size.

That's all she wrote. Again, if you have any questions, please ask (stana-stana at sbcglobal.net).

 

 

 

Wearing Rachel Zoe (dress), Eugenia Kim (hat), 10 Crosby (booties) and (ALC)bag.

 

 

 

Actor Stephen-Fry femulating in British television’s Jeeves and Wooster (1993).