Friday at Femulate Headquarters

My posts have been irregular this week. Long hours watching the election results, short hours watching the inside of my eyelids, removing 7 million leaves from my yard, weird dreams along with my normal housewife duties, it has been an unusual week here at Femulate Hq.

Usually, I don’t remember my dreams, but I remembered one from Wednesday night that was really weird. In the dream, I was wearing a classic white female nurse uniform and I was at work, but my employer is located in my old grammar school. A fellow, a well-known local news show personality, who is now retired showed up at my workplace in a wedding gown and asked me to find someone to officiate his marriage. I knew someone at work who was a justice of the peace, so I began searching the building for him. And then I woke up.

Sitting in front of the television watching the election results, I spent some time with my iPad on YouTube searching for films with crossdressing contents. I was surprised to find a lot of foreign films and television shows in which crossdressing made an appearance. Sometimes there was just a brief crossdressing encounter, but sometimes crossdressing was a significant theme of the film or TV show.

Using Google Translate and IMDb along with YouTube, I have been sorting out all my finds and it will take a while. In the near future, I will report here what I found.

Wearing L'Agence

Joshua Agai, male womenswear model

Dreaming Vividly

Since becoming semi-retired, more often than not, I remember my dreams after I awake. My dreams seem more vivid than I remember them being before I semi-retired, but one thing has not changed: in my most of my dreams, I am a woman.

In some dreams, I am aware that I am a transwoman, who has transitioned one way or another. In other dreams, being trans is not part of the equation — I am a woman, plain and simple.

Last night, I had a transwoman dream. I was in Vegas, where I have never been in my life and I was having a wonderful time at a casino until I encountered a family acquaintance. The twist was that even though I was embarrassed encountering the acquaintance, the acquaintance was not fazed and interacted with me as if I always was a woman!

And so it goes.

Wearing Diane Von Furstenberg (Source: Diane Von Furstenberg)

Femulate reader Mindy wearing Calvin Klein from Dress Barn.

Mama Stana

I seldom remember my dreams, but this morning I did recall snippets of the dream I had before I awoke.

I was a woman in the dream.

There was a discussion with my girlfriends about the new high heels I was wearing.

And I breastfed a baby!

Wow!

 

Rocker Frank Iero femulating.

 

Wearing DressBarn.

In Your Dreams?

Long-time Femulate reader Pat wrote recently about her dreams and wondered about yours.

From time to time you have written about your dreams.

Most of my dreams have my crossdressing as a central theme. This has always been the case for me, but about two to three years ago, I used Chantix to help me kick a long-time smoking habit. One noted side effect of this drug was the potential for "vivid dreams."

They were not kidding. The dreams that I had when on that drug were frequent, memorable, amazingly vivid and almost always centered on my crossdressing. Those dreams were so memorable and enjoyable that I started writing them down and now I have a rather extensive dream log.

I just made another entry in my log about a dream I had this past weekend.

There was an item picked up be several news outlets about some people taking issue with Target regarding a gray dress that was being offered online. It seems that in the regular sizes, this dress was described as "Dark Heather Gray," but the same dress in plus sizes was described as "Manatee Gray."

A manatee is a wonderful, gentle aquatic creature that grows to several hundred pounds and is known as a "Sea Cow." It seems that some of Target's "plus-size patrons" took offense to the plus-size dress being offered as "Manatee (Sea Cow) Gray" rather than "Heather Gray." In response, Target pulled the dress off its website in both plus and regular sizes.

The evening before my dream, my wife and I discussed our weekend plans which included a dinner out and perhaps a movie. My dream was vivid in colors and also in sound/dialog. I was dressed in a very pretty dark "Manatee Gray" dress with a pink floral (roses) pattern. It was lined and my wife commented that it was of rather high quality since it came from Target. I told her that it had a great price for the quality of the dress. I also had on beige hose and classic high heel pink pumps that matched the flowers on the dress.

In the dream, we had a wonderful dinner in a nice restaurant. After dinner we decided to go to the movies. My wife chided me about being slightly overdressed for dinner and that I was surely overdressed for the movies. In the dream I kept the dress on, changed to off-black hose and dark gray pumps, removed some jewelry, added a plain black jacket and was now only moderately overdressed for the movies.

After entering this dream in my log, I looked back at my prior entries and almost all of them had a direct connection to real-life events.

My question to you and your readers is whether your femulating dreams are more vivid than other dreams and whether your femulating dreams have connections to events or images that derive from what is going on in your life around the time of the dream?

What was even more interesting about my dream is that it happened the night before we went out to dinner. It was very lifelike and bore a heavy resemblance to the places that we went to after the dream.

It seems like some of my dreams presage actual events. I am not sure if that is an actual premonition or simply wishful thinking.

By the way, as a "plus-size patron," I was not offended at the reference to "Manatee Gray." I'm curious if you or your readers found the Target labeling snafu to be unsettling. (In my view, some people are a bit too sensitive.)

Femulating 100 years ago.

Wearing Metrostyle.

My Dream Marriage

I have mentioned my dreams here a few times in the past. I seldom recall them when I wake up, but the ones I do recall always have a trans theme.

Over the years, my dreams have gone through a few stages.

The first stage, which lasted for many years were dreams about getting dressed en femme or trying to get dressed en femme and not being able to do so because something prevented me or because I woke up before I was got dressed.

The second stage, which lasted a year or so were dreams about getting dressed en femme, then going out and encountering friends and family who approved of my dressing.

The third and most recent stage, which has lasted for a year or so are dreams where I am dressed all the time, that is, I do not get dressed in the dream, rather I am dressed as a woman from the get-go. Getting dressed is not part of these dreams because I am living as a woman full-time or I am a woman in these dreams (it is unclear which is the case).

Last night, I had an unusual dream. I don't think it is a new stage, but it is an interesting twist to my dreams. In last night's dream, I was married to a male and we attended the "Big E" as a husband and wife (the Big E, also known as the Eastern States Exposition, is a huge annual state fair for all six New England states).

In real life, I often go to the Big E, but never en femme. Also, in real life, I am not attracted to males. So go figure!

In Your Dreams - Part 2

I did not recall a single minute of last night's dreams, which is typical for me.

It seems that the dreams that I do remember either include dead relatives or me en femme or both.

In Your Dreams

Last night was one of those nights! I had some unusual dreams and I actually remembered bits and pieces of some.

(I blame it all on the Chinese food I ate for dinner.)

One dream was the kind of dream that only a trans girl would dream.

Hot on the high heels of the success of the film Bridesmaids, an outfit out of Las Vegas now offers a "Vegas bridesmaids' experience" for you and your wedding entourage. Called "Bridesboys," the service is intended for the males of the wedding party and includes a complete head-to-toe male-to-female transformation before the "girls" spend the night doing Vegas.

I woke up before the transformation and bridesmaids' experience began. I hope to pick up tonight where I left off last night.

Please pass me the pork-fried rice. 

 

Stana Has a Random Moment

If you are stuck in a wardrobe rut, Ginger Burr has a solution on her Nurturing Beauty Style Secrets Blog today: 3 Key Steps to Creating Visual Interest in an Outfit.

I don't have a middle name, but I kind of like the name Jacqueline. I came up with that after a woman at the True Colors Conference last Saturday said that the dress I wore looked like something Jacqueline Kennedy would have worn. I like that.

Over on The Huffington Post, Greg Voakes writes that a "Study Finds Increasing Support for Transgender Rights in the U.S.," which is good news indeed.

Looking forward to a big night out next Saturday when I will get dressed to the nines to attend the annual banquet of the Connecticut Outreach Society. Did I mention that I will be performing during the Follies portion of the banquet? I have lip-synched to tunes in past banquet Follies, but this year I plan to do something completely different. Stay tuned for a full report after the fact.

That was Tina Fey gracing my Wednesday post, Passes with Glasses. I like her glasses so much that I may order a pair like hers from Firmoo.com. By the way, they have a sweet deal for first time buyers: free frames.

Last night I dreamed that I wanted big breasts. Awake, I never desired big breasts, so go figure.

In Bed En Femme

No, I did not wear my baby doll nightgown to bed last night. But maybe I should have because it was one of those rare nights when I remembered my dreams and in one dream after another, I was a woman.

Crossdressing was not a component of any dream last night. Instead, I was a woman from the beginning to end of each dream. This is in contrast to dreams of old, where getting dressed or trying to get dressed en femme was a component, if not the primary plot of the dream.

In the last dream of last night's set, I was dressed for work. The outfit was similar to one I own, but the hairdo was something completely different for me: very loose, medium brown spiral curls that flowed to the shoulder.

I had been thinking about getting a new hairdo that was shoulder-length or longer, but I was not considering loose spiral curls. Maybe my dream was trying to tell me something.

Dreamwear

When I woke up from a dream I had last night, the details of the dream were escaping me quickly, but I do remember one detail. Throughout the dream, I was dressed only in a white 1950s/1960s style panty girdle and longline bra. Nothing else.

Considering how I was dressed, wouldn't the details of that dream be interesting?

My Overnight Dream

The memory of a dream I had overnight is fading fast.

I was dressed en femme for an event that some of my co-workers were attending. I encountered a male friend from work and he was not comfortable with my presentation. He remarked to someone about how nice I looked, but he could not look at me and seemed very uncomfortable.

Then I woke up.

(FYI, I seldom remember my dreams. The few that I do remember are usually femulation-related.)

My Dream Theme

Last night, I dreamed that actress Kate Beckinsale uploaded a video to YouTube. The purpose of her video was to invite me to be her date attending the premiere of her new film.

Before I could respond to her invitation, I woke up.

***

I have not talked about my dreams in awhile. If you recall, I seldom remembered my dreams, but the ones I did remember were always trans-related.

That has changed.

I read how-to articles about improving one’s ability to remember dreams. As a result, most mornings I now know what I dreamed about the night before.

What is interesting is that I no longer have dreams in which I crossdress, rather my dream themes are random everyday occurrences that anyone may encounter. The only difference is that I am now a woman full-time in my dreams experiencing those random everyday occurrences.

How I became a woman is never given a thought; I am fully accepted as a woman in my dream world.

Sigh.

Boys' Dreams

What boy tottering on the edge of the gender chasm could resist this outfit advertised in Macy's Sunday newspaper advertisement?

I know if I saw such an outfit when I was a teenager, I would be ready to get on board the Good Ship Lollipop and sail away to Ladyland.

I didn't do it because I was afraid what other people might think.

I was the first child of my generation and my family had high expectations for me. Back then, I believed that I would be a big disappointment if I ran away to The City, fulfilled my dream, lived full-time as a woman, and became a female impersonator? So I hung back, followed a traditional career path and made everyone proud of me except me.

It took a long time to realize that what other people think about me is not important. My dreams were important and now I so regret not following mine.

Dream Update

I have not written about my dreams lately, so I just wanted to update you about my nights in Dreamland.

I still seldom remember my dreams after I awake, so there is nothing new to report regarding that.

However, the dreams I do remember are interesting in that I am a woman in all of them. I no longer have dreams about crossdressing; rather my dreams begin and end with me as a woman and everyone else in my dreams acts as if my being a woman was natural.

a dream of a different color

I recalled another dream.

I do not remember the details of last night's adventure in dreamland, but I remember the dream had nothing to do with my trans state. The fact I was en femme throughout the dream was not an issue for me or anyone I encountered in the dream. Dressing en femme was the most natural thing in the world for me!

I call that "progress."

dreams

As I have mentioned here numerous times in the past, I seldom remember my dreams and the few that I do remember are usually trans-related. (For all I know, all my dreams may be trans-related!)

Last night, I had a trans-dream, which made me recall that I had a similar dream the night before.

Two nights ago, I dreamed I was returning home fully dressed after a night out en femme. However, home was the house where I grew up with my parents and not my current residence.

I recall getting out of the car and walking to the house while being concerned that the neighbors might see me. Then I woke up.

Fast forward to last night and I have the same dream, but instead of waking up after my concern about the neighbors, I made it inside the house. To my surprise, the house is full of friends and relatives.

I distinctly remember an aunt looking up and smiling at me, then my best friend comes into the room and warmly greets me. (As far as I know, most or all of these people are unaware of my trans-ness.) Then I woke up.

my dream diary

I have been documenting all my trans-related dreams here and this is a new entry.

Last night, I dreamed I was preparing to play a woman's part in a stage play.

That is all I remember.

last night’s dream

I seldom remember my dreams, but when I do remember a dream, it is usually trans-related.

Overnight, I dreamed I was packing to attend a transgender convention. My mother was helping me pack and offered to lend me anything I needed.

Throughout the dream, I kept refusing whatever items she offered because I already had those items in my wardrobe.

Finally, she said with a knowing smile, “I bet you don’t have any of these.”

And with that, she revealed a storage area in the back of her closet that was full of girdles from the 1950s and 1960s.

That got my attention and as I began perusing the girdles to decide what to borrow, I awoke from my dream.

The dream interests me because I never confided in my mother about my crossdressing. I am sure that she knew, but she never brought up the subject.

Almost to her dying day, she often asked me if there was anything I wanted to tell her. At those times, I thought she was just trying to make conversation, but in retrospect, I think she was offering to lend a friendly ear.

I so regret not confiding in my mother. I believe my life would have been different if I knew my mother supported her “daughter.”

my dream log

I have been documenting all my trans-related dreams here and this is a new entry.

Sunday morning, I dreamed I came home from work and looked in the mirror to discover that there were very obvious traces of makeup on my face (smudged red lipstick and black eye makeup). I assume that the makeup was from an outing en femme the day before.

That is all I remember.

a dream come true

Yesterday, I wrote about my dream from the previous night.

As you may recall, I wrote that during my dream, "I noticed a large orange-colored stain in the lap area of my dress, but I was perplexed as to the source of the stain."

Today, I laundered five dresses. When I pulled the dresses out of the washing machine, two were ruined with large orange stains.

I assume that there was still some bleach in the washing machine from the previous load of clothing and that the bleach did the damage.

What a nightmare!