Father’s Day Plans Trumped

Outfit I planned to wear for Father’s Day

Usually, my wife, daughter, sister and I go to a restaurant to celebrate Father’s Day. This year, I wanted to do something different – I wanted to go to the restaurant en femme.

When I concocted that plan three weeks ago, it looked doable because restaurants (and most everything else) would be reopening in Connecticut on June 17, four days before Father’s Day. But July 17 has come and gone and my family is not ready to dine in a restaurant yet.

Their hesitance has nothing to do with how I planned to dress. Rather, they are worried about how safe it would be to dine in a restaurant under the dark cloud of coronavirus especially when three of the diners are well over 65 years in age.

I would love to dine en femme with my loved ones, but I understand their discomfort. So we will order Chinese take-out and just like so many other thwarted plans, wait ’til next year.

Wearing Venus

Rolling Stone Brian Jones

Out Finally

I made a promise to myself that as soon I was finished with physical therapy, I was going to have a girl's day out. My final physical therapy session was last Tuesday, so I checked my calendar and this Tuesday was open.

Lazy girl that I am, I did not maintain a clean shaven body all summer because I knew I was not going out anytime soon. So Monday afternoon I took on the task of removing a summer's worth of body hair.

The Philips Norelco Bodygroomer I bought last year made the job easy and in about an hour, my body was hairless again. Truth be told, my legs have been shorn so many times during the past 55 years that there is not much growing there anymore, so most of the hair removal was on my arms and torso and just a few tufts of hair on my knees and toes.

Tuesday morning, I shaved my face, showered, ate breakfast, watched Morning Joe, did my makeup and got dressed. I wore the Calvin Klein floral scuba shift dress that I bought last time I shopped at Dress Barn in the spring. I felt it was appropriate to wear that dress because one goal for the day was to go to Dress Barn and use my gift cards before they shutter the store forever.

The high heels I chose were loose and kept slipping off my feet. My wife warned me that my feet would shrink if I lost weight and I guess she was right. Thirty pounds lighter, I had to try on four pairs of shoes until I found a pair that was less prone to slipping off my feet.

The solution was a compromise because there still was some slippage and by day's end, my feet were tired from gripping my shoes all day long. I guess it's time to go shoe shopping. (I so miss Payless!)

I drove to the Dress Barn in a strip mall that is a stone's throw from my former place of employment. I shopped there so often that I knew the staff by name and the staff knew me in girl and boy mode.

I began perusing the racks and I was greeted by the store manager. I told her about my lost summer and we discussed the demise of Dress Barn. I mentioned that I received a letter last week that my Dress Barn credit card would be no good after October 31, so I thought that might be the day they finally close all the stores. She thinks that the last day will be December 24, which makes more sense.

You would never know that the store was going out of business. The racks were full of fresh fall fashions and I took three dresses to the dressing room to try on. All three were size 14 and all three fit perfectly and to make matters worse, all three looked great on me!

I was afraid to try on anything else, so I avoided the racks and made a bee-line to the store representative staffing the cash register and burned through my gift cards.

I took my purchases to my Subaru, then drove to WestFarms Mall where I thought I could do some window shopping and if I got hungry, dine at Brio Tuscan Grille or P.F. Chang's. I perused the racks at Macy's and found another dress to die for, but lucky for my purse, they did not have it in my size.

After window shopping for a half hour, I was a little hungry and my feet were a lotta tired, so I flipped a coin and went to Brio for lunch.

Not too much to say about Brio. As usual, I was treated like a lady and the food was delicious. The waitress said my dress was "beautiful" and she applauded me for wearing heels as I exited the establishment.

Back home by 4 PM, I was tired, but exhilarated by my girl's day out. I will have to do it again real soon now.

Wearing Boston Proper

Kazik Mazur femulates Alicja Majewska on Polish television's Twoja Twarz Brzmi Znajomo.

Gender Neutral Dining

The concept of gender-neutral dining is simple: help customers feel more comfortable by refraining from labeling them. For non-binary and trans diners especially, being addressed as "sir" or "ma’am" can be highly uncomfortable and jarring, which is why some restaurants are eliminating terms like "ladies and gentlemen" from their vocabulary. Another thing they’ve gotten rid of? Ladies first—the entire tradition of taking orders from and serving, well, ladies first. (distilled from PureWow)

I get it, but I love being addressed as "ma'am," or even better, "miss."

Wearing New York & Company (Source: New York & Company)

Blue is for boys.

Thursday Dinner

After shopping on Thursday, I met Shauna at the Westfarms Mall for dinner at 6.

We dined at BRIO Tuscan Grille, an Italian restaurant where I have dined en femme in the past, but always alone, so it was nice to have a dinner companion for a change.

Shauna and I go way back having met at a Connecticut Outreach Society (COS) meeting about 20 years ago. I was the first transwoman Shauna ever met in person and we hit it off from the start.

Shauna dropped out of sight while her children were growing up, but now she wants to get out en femme again and she reached out to me. I let her know that COS was still active, so she went to a recent meeting and then she asked me about a girls' night out and that is how our Thursday evening get together came about.

She said she was a little nervous about being out among the civilians, but she had nothing to fear but fear itself. Most of the civilians paid no attention to us and the handful who had to deal with us face-to-face (like the restaurant waitstaff) treated us like ladies.

After dinner, I remembered that I wanted to buy some makeup (Lancome mascara and eyeliner), so we went to Sephora, but they were out of stock. Then,we tried the Lancome counter in Macy's where I had better luck.

After my Macy's purchase, we decided to call it a night. We both had a great night out and plan to get together again real soon now.

Wearing Boston Proper (Source: Boston Proper)

Romain Duris femulates in the mall in the 2014 French film The New Girlfriend.

My First Emulation-Worthy Femulator

As a young femulator back in the 1960s, I did not have any femulators to emulate.

On the big screen, there were Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon in Some Like It Hot, but they dressed in 1920s flapper styles ― an attractive style, but difficult for this young girl to emulate during the Jackie era.

On the small screen, Milton Berle made an occasional appearance en femme, but his femulations were strictly for laughs; they were clownish and often ugly ― nothing this girl wanted to copy.

The New York newspapers occasionally had ads displaying professional femulators at Club 82 and I so wanted to dress in showgirl drag like the girls at 82, but let's be practical.

There were no femulators that dressed like women dressed in the mid-1960s... no one I could look up to for inspiration.

Finally, one evening watching television in 1964, I saw a great femulation of a mid-1960s woman on a new episode of The Munsters of all places! In that episode, character actor Cliff Norton played a cop who disguised himself as a woman (see photo) in order to trap a guy who was accosting women in the park at night.

Norton's femulation left an impression on me for a very long time. He was not a beautiful woman, but he passed and more importantly, he was dressed like a mid-1960s woman in the styles I knew and loved and wanted to wear.

(The title of The Munsters episode is "A Walk on the Mild Side" and you can view it online in a number of locations; just search on "'The Munsters' 'A Walk on the Mild Side'" and you will find it. The femulation occurs about 19 minutes into the episode in case you want to fast-forward to it.)

(Caveat Emptor: This is a repurposed post from the past.)

Wearing Intermix.

Alex Wetter, male womenswear model

Eating Pie

My Wednesday out en femme continued at the West Farms Mall, which in my opinion, is the premier shopping mall in Connecticut.

When I was doing my makeup Wednesday morning, I noticed that my bottle of Avon-brand liquid foundation was at its end. I also noticed that the Smashbox eye shadow primer I use was nearing its end, so it was time to restock and Sephora was my first stop at West Farms.

I quickly found the eye shadow primer, but I was overwhelmed by the huge selection of liquid foundations on display. Foundation brands and types were not as big an issue as was color. I have never been confident of the colors I use; I know my color choices are in the ballpark, but I want to hit a home run, so I asked one of the sales reps for assistance.

Filomena walked me over to the Sephora + Pantone Color IQ display where she used a handheld camera-like device to determine my color, which turned out to be medium beige. The result was entered into the Color IQ iPad and it displayed all the brands of foundations that were available in my color. I selected the Make Up For Ever HD Invisible Cover Foundation. My foundation color choices were always in the lighter than medium beiges, so I will be anxious to see how I look in my corrected color.

I exited Sephora at noon and decided to have lunch. Like most malls, the dining choices are mostly of the fast food variety, but I noticed a new-to-me restaurant that seemed to be a few notches up from the usual mall fare: Brio Tuscan Grille.

As soon as I entered Brio, I knew my estimate was correct. It was a very well-appointed restaurant and most of its clientele were well-dressed business people. I fit right in!

I was seated quickly and an attentive waitress could not have been nicer to me. She helped me select a glass of wine by providing two samples and I selected a 5-ounce filet with grilled veggies from the menu. It was delicious.

The rest of the staff treated me like a lady and the other diners ignored me like an old lady.

After finishing my meal, I needed to use the ladies' room and one of the staff pointed me in the general direction. The problem was that when I arrived at the facilities, the names of the restrooms were in Italian.

I know a few words in Italian, but not "ladies' room" and "men's room," so I selected the room on my left, the one called "Domme." (When faced with choices I am clueless about, I always select the choice on the left.)

It turned out I made the correct choice, but I have to admit I was a little worried while sitting on the toilet trying to figure out which direction the shoes of the person in the next stall were pointed. I am sure they were pointed the wrong way, but maybe they did not know Italian either!

After dining, I browsed the racks in Lord & Taylor and Nordstrom and after getting over the sticker shock, I visited the Apple store to ask a genius a question about the iPad mini.

My feet were holding up very well after six hours in 3-inch heels, but I was done shopping, had bought more than I intended and decided to call it a day en femme.

Home by 4 PM, I kicked off my heels and reflected on my day.

(Caveat Emptor: This is a repurposed post from the past.)

Wearing Anthropologie.

Jim Rash (center) in television's Community.

Eating Pie

People have asked about what I wrote in my previous post, specifically "Wednesday was going to be a very big day out en femme for me. I was going to take the train to New York City to attend a conference with my boss and her boss: three business women in The City for the day."

No, I have not started working full-time as a woman.

Wednesday's trip to NYC was going to be a test for me and my bosses. I wanted to prove to them that I am a woman and not an embarrassment, so why not test that notion outside the office and amongst the general public who are not accustomed to my Halloween custom.

I was very disappointed that that opportunity was lost. Perhaps another will arise soon.

***

My Wednesday out en femme continued at the West Farms Mall, which in my opinion, is the premier shopping mall in Connecticut.

When I was doing my makeup Wednesday morning, I noticed that my bottle of Avon-brand liquid foundation was at its end. I also noticed that the Smashbox eye shadow primer I use was nearing its end, so it was time to restock and Sephora was my first stop at West Farms.

I quickly found the eye shadow primer, but I was overwhelmed by the huge selection of liquid foundations on display. Foundation brands and types were not as big an issue as was color. I have never been confident of the colors I use; I know my color choices are in the ballpark, but I want to hit a home run, so I asked one of the sales reps for assistance.

Filomena walked me over to the Sephora + Pantone Color IQ display where she used a handheld camera-like device to determine my color, which turned out to be medium beige. The result was entered into the Color IQ iPad and it displayed all the brands of foundations that were available in my color. I selected the Make Up For Ever HD Invisible Cover Foundation. My foundation color choices were always in the lighter than medium beiges, so I will be anxious to see how I look in my corrected color.

I exited Sephora at noon and decided to have lunch. Like most malls, the dining choices are mostly of the fast food variety, but I noticed a new-to-me restaurant that seemed to be a few notches up from the usual mall fare: Brio Tuscan Grille.

As soon as I entered Brio, I knew my estimate was correct. It was a very well-appointed restaurant and most of its clientele were well-dressed business people. I fit right in!

I was seated quickly and an attentive waitress could not have been nicer to me. She helped me select a glass of wine by providing two samples and I selected a 5-ounce filet with grilled veggies from the menu. It was delicious.

The rest of the staff treated me like a lady and the other diners ignored me like an old lady.

After finishing my meal, I needed to use the ladies' room and one of the staff pointed me in the general direction. The problem was that when I arrived at the facilities, the names of the restrooms were in Italian.

I know a few words in Italian, but not "ladies' room" and "men's room," so I selected the room on my left, the one called "Domme." (When faced with choices I am clueless about, I always select the choice on the left.)

It turned out I made the correct choice, but I have to admit I was a little worried while sitting on the toilet trying to figure out which direction the shoes of the person in the next stall were pointed. I am sure they were pointed the wrong way, but maybe they did not know Italian either!

After dining, I browsed the racks in Lord & Taylor and Nordstrom and after getting over the sticker shock, I visited the Apple store to ask a genius a question about the iPad mini.

My feet were holding up very well after six hours in 3-inch heels, but I was done shopping, had bought more than I intended and decided to call it a day en femme.

Home by 4 PM, I kicked off my heels and reflected on my day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Actor and professional femulator Jim Bailey in the 1987 film Penitentiary III.

My Ticket

After attending the StampShow, I drove to the Pond House Cafe, a restaurant in the middle of Hartford’s Elizabeth Park to dine with my friend Diana. Diana arrived at 5 PM sharp and we dined outdoors on the restaurant’s patio.

There is not a lot to say about dinner. The meal and the dinner conversation were great, the restaurant staff used the proper pronouns, called us “ladies” and seemed genuinely glad to have us as customers.

There were only a few other diners and they did not seem to notice us, except for one. Midway through our meal, a couple, probably in their late 60s, were seated opposite us; the woman had her back to me, but her dinner partner (I assumed it was her husband) was facing me and almost every time I looked his way, he was looking at me. His facial expression showed neither approval or disapproval, but he was studying me intently; so much so that I thought about going over to him and asking him if we knew each other. I was certain that I did not know him, but maybe he knew me or thought he did or something else was going on. (I think something else was going on, but I don't know what.)

After dinner, I drove across town to Real Art Ways for their monthly Creative Cocktail Hour. “Real Art Ways is one of the United States' leading innovative contemporary arts organizations, with programs in Visual Arts (commissioned public projects, curated exhibitions, education), Live Arts (innovative music of all kinds, performance, spoken word) and Film and Video (feature films and artists' videos)”

Real Art Ways is a very cool venue and has openly welcomed transgender folks for over a decade. Over the years I have attended about 20 of their Creative Cocktail Hours. It attracts a very eclectic crowd and is always an interesting evening.

Thursday’s installment was like old home week. In addition to Diana, three other girls from my old support group showed up and we had a good time talking about the old times as well as the new times.

We were ensconced strategically on the deck outdoors, which is the gateway between the indoor and outdoor activities. As a result, I saw everybody as they passed to and fro and they had an opportunity to see me. And I could not help noticing the guys, especially the middle-aged and beyond checking me out.

It was all so affirming, but a little disconcerting to receive so much attention and nothing more. None of the admirers made an attempt to approach me or my friends nor strike up a conversation. It was great conversing with my old friends, but it would have been interesting/different to interact with an admirer, too.

On the other hand, maybe they were not admirers. Maybe they were just amused by the appearance an obvious femulator.

On the other hand (that's three hands now), maybe they were just intimidated by an attractive woman and afraid to do anything but gawk.

Yeah --- that's the ticket!

Anyway, I called it quits early --- at about 8:30 PM. It was a long day and a woman's got to know her limitations, so I said my goodbyes and rode away into the sunset.

 

 

 

Wearing SVEE.

 

 

 

Contestant in the 2012 Mz. Relay for Life womanless beauty pageant in Cape Coral, Florida.

Paula Visits Washington

By Paula Gaikowski

I was up at 3:45 to catch an early flight to Washington Dulles Airport. My plane got in at 7:45 AM and I was at the hotel by 9 AM. I was dressed and out the door by 11 AM. It seems to take at least two hours to get ready these days. This trip came up rather fast, so I didn’t have a lot of time to pick out new outfits.

The first stop was, of course, my dear Nordstrom. I went up to the woman’s section looking for a formal dress. There was only one I was interested in. The sales associate offered to let me try it on. I took a photo, but really didn’t like the way it fit.

I made a run to Payless shoes and found a pair of boots that fit. They were $50 and had to pass. I know I am going to regret that.

After spending the morning trying on all those beautiful expensive clothes at the Dulles Towne Center, I decided to grab some lunch before going to Burlington Coat Factory. I found a Chili’s near-by, had a salad for lunch and once again, nothing out of the ordinary happened. It amazes me that I don’t attract attention; I watch very closely out of the corner of my eye, but don’t see any glances or whispers. I won’t say I pass, but I am doing something fairly well.

In the Burlington Coat, I found three suits that I tried on. One was too big, one was too small and one fit just right. The same suit was on the rack at Lord & Taylor for $240; here it was just $40 in clearance. I loved it. It was beautiful and it made me feel so pretty, but I passed on it because it was really made for a formal event and not the kind of suit one would wear to the office or shopping.

So without having bought anything, I decided to go back to the M·A·C counter back at Dulles Towne Center and have them freshen up my makeup. I wanted to try a new look on my eyes. Of course, the sales associate was the prettiest thing and most friendly.

I just want to add here that if you are a novice or a newbie and you are trying to spread your transgender wings, M·A·C should be your first stop. Whether en drab or en femme, they will greet you with acceptance and a helpful positive attitude. When I read posts from girls asking “Should I tell them it’s a gift?” I answer “No, sister, you tell them they're for me," and your life will open up.

When I chat with sales associates at M·A·C, I always am very open about being transgender. I find this is a great opportunity for outreach and education. What I have found is once you open up, they usually have a ton of questions. This time the big question was “Why?”

It’s hard to answer “Why” on the fly at the M·A·C counter. I adjusted my heels on the foot rest of the high make-up chair I was sitting in, looked down at my nails while I thought a minute, and said something like this, “I have always admired, respected, and envied woman. For as long as I can remember, I always wanted to either be like them or be one myself. After many years of guilt and anxiety, I realized I may be different, but not bad. I do this because I appreciate women and their attributes. I value their nurturing, gentleness, empathy, sensitivity and compassion."

I believe I made my point well; she stepped back, with a thoughtful look on her face, and said “Wow, that’s so beautiful, I wish more men felt that way.” I then thought to myself if more men did they would probably be women or transgender.

 Stunt man Bob Simmons femulating in the 1965 British film Thunderball.

Wearing Daily Look.

You'll freeze your ass off

I took Thursday afternoon off from work in order to get ready for my girls' night out.

After a leisurely lunch, I began the transformation by shaving and applying my makeup.

A Makeup Tip

Over the years, I have used many brands of mascara. but lately, my go-to mascara is Avon's "Super Extend Extreme Mascara." It adds great length as well as volume to my lashes. It also seems to last longer than some other mascaras.

Yes - I am an Avon representative and whenever Avon introduces a new mascara, I always try a tube and usually I am disappointed and back track to Maybelline, but with their Super Extend Extreme Masacar, Avon finally has got it right.

Now back to our regular programming…

I slipped on my undies, nude thigh high stockings and heels, then I began trying on different dresses and modeling them in our full-length mirror to decide what to wear. Originally, I planned to wear the Avon mark brand "Exotic Edge Dress" I purchased recently, but I was concerned that it was too short.

After trying on a half-dozen dresses, I ended up selecting the Exotic Edge Dress after all. It was the shortest dress of the dozen, but not that much shorter and what the heck --- I was going to a cocktail party sponsored by an art museum. From past experience, I knew my hemline would not be the shortest in attendance (and I was correct).

In addition to the dress, I wore my Nine West Love Fury black patent pumps with their sky-high 4.5-inch heels, black B. Makowsky bag, silver earrings (Napier), silver bracelet (Avon mark) and black watch (Avon).

I spritzed some Chanel No. 22 on all the right places and was ready to go. As I said goodbye to y spouse and daughter, my spouse remarked, "You'll freeze your ass off." Which always makes me smile because it reminds me of the adults in "A Christmas Story" warning Ralphie that, "You'll shoot your eye out." Unlike Ralphie, I never froze my ass off and Thursday night was no different.

I left the house at 4:20 PM and arrived at the Mexican restaurant in Hartford 30 minutes later. Diana's car was not in sight, so I cell phoned her to find out where she was in case she was parked in back and already seated inside. Turns out she was stuck in traffic, so I went inside to get a table.

There was only one table occupied at that early dinner hour, so the gent who seated me said I could sit anywhere I liked. A woman brought menus and I perused the fare while waiting for Diana to arrive.

She showed up about ten minutes later and we munched on chips and salsa while deciding what to order. Soon a waiter came to our table and took our drink and dinner orders. While we waited for dinner we chatted about all things trans.

Dinner was excellent and since we are both trying to maintain our girlish figures, we passed on dessert. Before leaving, I wanted to freshen my lipstick, so I excused myself to the ladies' room where I found the prettiest ladies' room I had ever encountered!

We paid the check and exited to our cars to drive to the cocktail party at Real Art Ways about ten minutes from the restaurant.

There is not much to say about our restaurant experience. It was as if we were invisible to the staff and other diners. We were just two old ladies and nobody paid much attention to us. However, I must add that there were hardly any other diners to pay any attention to us. Only two other tables were occupied while we were there --- the other diners were outside on the patio.

Come back tomorrow for the cocktail party portion of our girl's night out.

Femulating fashion model Dimitry Rublyovsky.

Wearing Boston Proper.

Night Out

It's girls' night out tonight as I meet up with my girlfriend and world renowned blogger, Diana, at our favorite Mexican restaurant where we will hatch plans on how to femulate the blogosphere (and then the world).

After dinner, we will move on to Real Art Ways for their monthly Creative Cocktail Hour, where we will just be fabulous (until they kick us out).

La de da.

Eduarda Brigida, Miss Gay Universe

 

Wearing Boston Proper.