DES and Male Femininity

As best as I can recall, I started crossdressing 70 years ago and have spent 70 years trying to figure out why. I have read a few theories, but none of them were an exact fit for me except the DES theory, which I have written about here on a few occasions.

Exploring AI, I asked about the connection between DES and male femininity and it returned an excellent summary on the topic including some information that I was unaware of. I think you will find it interesting especially if you are a Baby Boomer, so I am posting AI’s thoughts about DES and us. 

1. What DES Is

Diethylstilbestrol (DES) is a synthetic estrogen first developed in 1938. From the 1940s to the early 1970s, it was prescribed to millions of pregnant women worldwide under the mistaken belief that it would prevent miscarriage and complications. It did not work — and, worse, it caused long-term health issues in those exposed in utero (before birth).

2. DES Sons and Feminization

When a pregnant woman took DES, the fetus — whether male or female — was exposed to very high levels of estrogen.

For males exposed prenatally, researchers later found a number of effects that could be considered feminizing or endocrine-disruptive:

Physical and anatomical effects: smaller genitalia, undescended testes, structural anomalies in the reproductive tract.

Hormonal and developmental effects: evidence suggests some experienced altered hormone sensitivity or differences in secondary sex characteristics.

Psychological and identity aspects: a number of adult “DES sons” have reported increased feelings of gender variance or feminine identity traits, though this is not universal. Some of these reports have been collected in support groups and academic surveys since the 1990s.

These outcomes align with what’s known about estrogen’s role in brain sexual differentiation — meaning that exposure during key fetal periods can influence later gender expression or identity.

3. Social and Psychological Dimensions

In the 1980s–2000s, some men who discovered they were “DES sons” began reflecting on their lifelong sense of being more sensitive, gentle, or even feminine compared to their peers. For a few, this led to cross-gender identification or crossdressing, which they sometimes connected to their prenatal exposure.

While direct causation is impossible to prove, many find comfort and meaning in the idea that their traits have a biological, estrogen-linked origin rather than being merely “psychological” or “cultural.”

4. The Broader Symbolism

Culturally, DES has become a kind of metaphor for:

Unintended feminization through modern science

The fragility of traditional masculinity under biological or social change

The ethics of hormonal interference — a theme echoed in current debates about endocrine disruptors and gender identity.

In feminist and speculative circles, DES exposure is sometimes seen as an early real-world instance of “male feminization by medicine” — not as a fantasy, but as a historical example of how fragile sexual dimorphism can be when hormones are altered.

5. Today’s Understanding

Modern research frames DES as a potent endocrine disruptor, and its history is a cautionary tale about medical hubris. It also intersects with studies of gender diversity, since it highlights how early hormonal environments can shape traits far beyond the visible anatomy.

I don't know if my mother was prescribed DES, but I do know that she had a miscarriage before she had me, so she was definitely a DES candidate. 

And so it goes.

Wearing Ramy Brook dress and Gucci bag.

Șerban Copoț and Cezar Ouatu femulating Alice & Ellen Kessler on Romanian television’s Te Cunosc De Undeva.
Click here to view this femulation on YouTube.

Stuff 95: The Writing Process

By J.J. Atwell

Probably Boring

This installment of Stuff may be boring to you. Today I’m going to give you some insight into why I write and what goes on behind the scenes to generate this Stuff. I’ll understand if you simply move on to other, more interesting things on the internet. Perhaps one of the blogs Stana lists on the side of this page may be of interest? 

Before going much further I’d like to remind you that despite having a wide-ranging audience for Stuff (thank you, Stana), I am not an expert on our condition. I only write about my perspective and observations as a crossdresser. 

As I mentioned in previous installments of Stuff, I have an opinion about everything and I’m not afraid to say it. I find that writing is actually therapeutic for me. I hope when you read it you’ll find it therapeutic as well.

Subjects

Some of you may be wondering how I come up with the subjects to write about. There are basically two sources of Stuff. One is the various emails and comments that readers of Stuff send me using the link below or via the comment section. Many of you have what I consider very interesting views. Some of those comments have opened up new vistas for me and I thank you. Have you made a suggestion that I didn’t follow up on? It could be a couple of reasons.  I either just haven’t gotten to it yet or I don’t know enough about the subject to write anything useful. 

The second source for Stuff is just random things that pop into my head from time to time. I do some of my most creative thinking while in the shower. Some people sing, I think. Take that as you may. 

So when a new thought comes up, I put it on a list of subjects for future Stuff. Sometimes I do more research before getting to the topic. Other times I rely on my own experiences. 

The Hook

Having decided what to write about for an installment of Stuff, I think it’s important to have a subject line (AKA the “hook”) that will get your attention and prompt you to read further. By nature, I prefer subject lines that are humorous. I’m also a fan of puns, so you may find quite a few punny subject lines. I make no apologies for my puns. 

The Body

I learned to write with basic grammatical style in the business world. My writing is not creative writing like you would find in a novel. It’s not great English literature. Instead I’m writing to convey information. That means structuring thoughts into concise paragraphs. Paragraphs that have a subject and supporting sentences. New subject = new paragraph. 

MEGO

I try to keep paragraphs short, although I often fail at that. I believe that a long, unbroken paragraph leads to MEGO. Have you heard of that acronym before? My Eyes Glaze Over? That’s the effect a person gets when faced with something long and potentially boring. By now many of you have developed MEGO reading my Stuff. Sorry. I’ve failed like that many a time. But a good failure is important from time to time as long as you learn from them. That’s something you should apply to your CDing life, too.

I’ll Be Back

There will be more Stuff, hopefully including some topics you suggested. As always comments are welcome either here on the blog or by email to Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com. JJ is always looking for more stuff, so if there is something you would like to read about, please let me know!

Wearing Raquel Welch

Scott Thompson, Mark McKinney, Bruce McCulloch, Kevin McDonald and Dave Foley femulating on Canadian television’s The Kids In The Hall.

Stuff 94: Coming to Terms with Terms

By J.J. Atwell

Terms?

Terms can be helpful when describing ourselves or others. But terms can also turn into horrible traps. Some terms are benign. Like him or her. Others are loaded with mostly negative connotations. I’m actually going to avoid some of those terms in this installment, but I’m sure you can think of some on your own. 

Try not to be offensive. Your terms are your choice. It seems to me that there are many terms we adopt when referring to our femme self. Notice I said “we.” I’m sure that each of us has a preferred term that they use when describing what we do.

My Terms

I generally refer to myself as a CD, short for crossdresser. To me it accurately describes what I do. When I was first starting out, the commonly used term was transvestite (TV), which is basically the Latin term for the same thing. However, in my mind the term transvestite has mostly negative connotations. Perhaps not in your mind. 

I love the term that Stana has coined, femulate. It’s so descriptive!! We are doing our best to emulate females. Being new it hasn’t yet acquired the negative baggage that some terms have over the years so that’s also a plus. However, since it is new it’s not in general use when describing our community. 

How about TG (transgender) or TS (transsexual)? Two fairly technical/medical terms that get tossed around generally to designate those of us who actually seek to transition from male-to-female in real life. At least that’s how I look at it, but please continue reading below.

For those of you that follow my writing, I’m curious as to what term you would prefer? I just had a discussion about this with one of the other members of my local group and she said she prefers TG to describe her. No, she is not going to transition. She just believes that TG is a nicer term than CD. So, there is another point about how terms we use can be misunderstood by others. Whatever you do, please respect the other person’s preferred terms. 

Drag queen is another popular term to describe men dressing as women. To my mind, this describes someone who is an entertainer. They often dress “over the top” when performing to attract attention. Many drag queens do present as believable females, but it seems it’s always with a wink and a nod. If you’re a drag queen, go ahead and wear that badge proudly while you enjoy your presentation. If you’re a CD who likes to emulate the drag queens when you go out then by all means, go ahead and own it!

Is Your Name A Term?

Long time readers of Stuff will recall in Stuff 22, back on December 11, 2023, I talked about how we pick out our nom de femme. I attempted to make a point about how we sometimes use different names for the same thing. Like that old English poet wrote about the smell of roses. Sadly, it seems that today what we call things can be divisive. What is a rose to some people can be skunk cabbage to others. 

But can our femme name be considered a term? I suppose it can be. Especially a name like Sheila (in Australia, that name is used for any woman) or Cissy/Sissy which some women use to denote a family relationship. And Missy would be another instance where a name would also be considered a term. I’m sure you can think of others too.

So, why do we care? Well, actually I don’t. I’m happy to use whatever terms you prefer and hope you’ll do the same. Once again, I’m just trying to get you, dear reader, to think outside the box. It’s fun!!!

I’ll Be Back

Thank you for reading my term paper! I’ll be finding more Stuff to write about. I welcome comments and suggestions here on Stana’s page or by email at Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com.

Wearing Shein

Alan Sues femulating on television’s Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In.

Remembering Fantasia Fair

This week is TransWeek in Provincetown, Massachusetts. Previously known as “Fantasia Fair,” I attended 17 years ago and today's post are my thoughts about that amazing week en femme 24/7 in October 2008.

During my week en femme in Provincetown, I shopped, dined, and had many other encounters with civilians throughout Provincetown and never had a problem. Everyone I encountered was friendly and treated me like a lady with one exception. Twice, I bought items at a pharmacy on Commercial Street.

First time, I found what I wanted to buy and stepped up behind a dude talking to the pharmacist who was standing at the cash register. The dude and pharmacist concluded their chat. I stepped up to the counter and the pharmacist turned his back on me and walked away instead of ringing up my purchase. 

I waited a minute or two for someone to ring me up. A middle-aged woman finally showed up to handle my purchase. She was very cold, avoided eye contact and the only words out of her mouth was the amount of money I had to pay.

Second time, the same woman rang me up with the same level of frigidity.

In both cases, I was my charming self, but the only response I received was a blank cold stare. I would not say that the pharmacy was transphobic, but they certainly were not transfriendly and being the only pharmacy in the center of town, I am sure they made a lot of money off the trans folks visiting town last week. Go figure!

***

I improved and streamlined my makeup skills during the week. Doing my makeup twice a day for a week, I found shortcuts to get the job done more quickly. (“Practice makes perfect.”) By week’s end, I probably shaved 15 to 20 minutes off my normal 1-hour makeup routine. I also was able to experiment with different looks and colors, which was a lot of fun!

***

I learned a lot about woman’s footwear during my week en femme. Downtown Provincetwon uses cobblestones for many of its sidewalks and they are unforgiving when you wear high heels. I quickly learned which shoes to wear when I had a lot of walking to do, that is, my booties and my mid-heel pumps with the chunky heel. If I wanted to wear heels at an event, I carried them with me while walking in my comfortable shoes, then changed to heels when I arrived at the event. Luckily, many events were in my hotel, so I did not have to carry heels around town that often.

***

I had a lot of fun mixing and matching separates (tops, jackets, skirts, pants) to create outfits during the week. (Is it still crossdressing when you wear pants?)

***

I reached a new level at Fantasia Fair. Femulating 24/7 for a solid week, you stop thinking about the fact you are femulating and begin living like a woman. All the techniques you use for femulation become second nature; you no longer have to think about using those techniques because they are now natural. I believe that during Fantasia Fair, I came as close to feeling like a natural woman as I can be and I hope that that second nature will stick with me forever.

***

Will I attend future Fantasia Fairs?

As my euphoria peaked at the end of the week, I told anyone who asked that I would be back next year and that I would begin saving money for the trip on Monday to make next year’s trip possible.

After the banquet Saturday night, I began reconsidering my return next year or any year.

The civilians in Provincetown are aware that the circus is in town, which makes it impossible to pass. Every tall woman is a potential man in a dress, so the civilians check out every tall girl to see if that is the case. I never experienced anything untoward in Provincetown, but being a very tall girl, I became annoyed by the inspection that I (and all the other tall girls) had to undergo every time we walked outside.

If you are a closeted femulator and want to get out of the closet in a safe way, I highly recommend Fantasia Fair to you, but I don’t need that. I could take the money I saved to bankroll a trip to Fantasia Fair and have a wonderful time shopping for a new wardrobe in the malls and outlet stores of Connecticut. Sure some people might gawk at me as I shopped, but most would not because (1) they would not be alerted beforehand that a crossdresser may be in their midst and (2) I often pass and do not attract attention to myself in a bad way, that is, in a way that gives away my birth gender.

I had a wonderful time at Fantasia Fair and I am sure I would have a good time if I attended again, but weighing the cost versus the potential of growing more as a woman, I think my money would be better invested elsewhere.

A Connecticut sister hit the nail on the head. During one lunch, she distributed ballots to the Fantasia Fair attendees to vote for the Miss Cinderella Award. Another friend suggested that everyone vote for me, but my Connecticut sister remarked that the purpose of the award is to recognize the attendee who blossomed the most during the Fair and that I had blossomed before attending the Fair.

Nuf said!

[By the way, I attended Fantasia Fair three more times (2010, 2012 and 2014) for the same reason I attended Hamvention year after year: to see friends from all over the world, who I would not see otherwise.]

Source: Rue La La

Christopher Morley femulating on television’s Too Close For Comfort.

It Seams To Me

When I started dressing seriously in the early 1960s, I wore nylon stockings that had seams. But just as I was warming up, my nylon stockings’ source (Mom) switched to the newfangled seamless stockings (and I no longer had to worry about keeping my seams straight). 

I’ve been wearing seamless hose ever since, but the first funny in this past weekend’s Someday Funnies got me thinking about seamed hosiery and the fact that they are very sexy. And that it is about time that I added some seamed thigh highs to my wardrobe.

I poked around Amazon and found a three-pack of On the Go black seamed thigh highs at $22.99 ($7.66 per pair), which is a reasonable price for thigh highs these days. 

As soon as they arrive, I will try them on and let you know what I think. (I already think that I will have to start worrying about keeping my seams straight!)

Wearing StyleWe

Ted Bessell femulating in a 1968 episode of television’s That Girl.

Stuff 93: Jennifer Loves to Cook

By J.J. Atwell

Loco Moco

Yes, I’m back with another recipe because, of course, Jennifer loves to cook! Doesn’t matter if I’m presenting as Jennifer or that guy. Cooking is fun. Fair warning: there is very little about CDing in this installment of Stuff. But you can compensate by trying this recipe while in girl mode. Thanks!

You may recall from Stuff #90 which Stana published on September 29, 2025 that I recently vacationed in Hawaii. That trip reignited my love for this specialized dish. I almost called it a delicacy, but realized that’s not the right word. Perhaps, it’s better to think of this as Hawaiian comfort food. 

So what is a Loco Moco? It’s an assemblage of yummy ingredients that is perfect for breakfast or any time of day. Basically, you get a dish of rice topped with a hamburger patty with gravy poured over it and topped with an egg.

Get Your Stuff

Ready to try it yourself? Great! Before we start though, I’d like to warn you that the hardest thing is to get all the parts ready at the same time. You’re basically making four different ingredients, each with their own cooking time. Oh, and you’ll dirty a lot of pots and pans making it. This recipe is per serving, but it’s easy enough to scale it up. Also, the portions of each ingredient are changeable according to individual preferences. Don’t forget an apron to protect that cute outfit. 

First, let’s gather the ingredients:

• Rice - ½ cup per serving of cooked white rice
• Eggs - 1 or 2 per serving
• Hamburger patty - 1 or 2 per serving. Preferably 80/20 lean/fat, at least 4 oz, but 8 oz is good
• Onion -1 medium diced (optional)
• Butter for sautéing if including onions or mushrooms
• Mushrooms - 4 oz sliced (optional)
• Water for gravy
• Gravy - ½ cup per serving, use a simple packet of brown gravy mix and the amount of water called for on the package
• Crispy fried onions or potato strings
• Salt and pepper to taste

Now that we have everything, let’s get started:

• Cook the rice. You can use the 90 second microwave packages to make this easier if you are only serving one or two people. If doing more than that, just make a pot of rice with enough to provide ½ cup for each serving.
• Grill the hamburger patty but don’t over cook it. You’ll find that medium rare burger is probably right for this dish
• Prepare a brown gravy by sautéing the onion in butter until translucent. Follow the directions for the gravy mix using a small pot and water, once boiling, add the onion and perhaps some mushrooms. Cover the pot and turn down the flame to simmer. Let it go for about 5 minutes. 
• Cook eggs as desired. I prefer over-easy or sunny-side so that the yoke is a bit runny.

Assemble the Dish

• This is best served in a shallow bowl
• First make a bed of rice
• Put the hamburger patty atop the rice
• Pour gravy over the hamburger and rice 
• Sprinkle crispy fried onions
• Top with egg and serve immediately

Remember, a recipe is a guideline not a hard and fast rule. In the Hawaiian islands you’ll find many variations on this versatile dish. Most often Spam replaces the burger. But you can also try ham, sausage or bacon instead of the burger. You may also want to try frying the rice instead of plain boiled rice. And adding your favorite grated cheese is always a good idea. 

I’ll be interested to hear how you customize this dish! Hope you enjoy this little bit of Hawaii!

I’ll Be Back

I’ll be finding more Stuff to write about. I welcome comments and suggestions here on Stana’s page or by email at Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com. Aloha.

Wearing L.N.C.

Lester Holt femulating on television’s Today.

The Obvious

All In

October is nearly half over and I have not broached the H subject – until now. H, as in Halloween, is a day near and dear to the heart of femulators throughout Girly World

Early on, I used Halloween as an excuse to shop for my lady wardrobe. (Didn't you?)

“I'm going to a Halloween party dressed as a woman, so I need a...” (fill in the blank with whatever I needed at the time: wig, bra, girdle, dress, high heels, makeup, purse, etc., etc., etc.)

I used that excuse a lot when I was still closeted. I dunno if I fooled any of the store staff with my Halloween story. Not many guys are going to spend $100 or more on a wig for one night, so something else must be going on.

My first girdle purchase (actually an all-in-one) was memorable. I was working in Kingston, New York, and visited an old-school lingerie shop in boy mode to get fitted for an all-in-one.

I found the store in the Yellow Pages and I checked it out one evening after work. It was located in downtown Kingston, not in a strip mall or shopping plaza, and it looked tiny and inconspicuous… the antithesis of Victoria’s Secret.

For days, I thought about the store and finally gathered up the courage to visit it during a lunch hour. I drove to the store, parked on the street and sat in my car waiting for minimum pedestrian traffic to avoid anyone seeing me entering the store. When all was clear, I exited my car and entered the store as quickly as possible.

A middle-aged lady greeted me. She probably had seen it all, so when I mentioned I needed some foundation garments for my Halloween costume, I don't know if she believed me. And when I suggested that I might need an “all-in-one,” that probably tipped my hand immediately – how many guys knew what’s an "all-in-one?"

Nevertheless, she was very helpful and after measuring me up, she handed me two heavy-duty all-in-ones to try on and said, “Take these to the dressing room, try them on and call me so I can see if they fit properly.”

I did not expect such a hands-on sale, but was glad to have it. I went to the dressing room, quickly stripped down to my briefs and zipped myself into the first all-in-one, but it did nothing for me. However, the second one did wonders and I summoned the proprietor to examine me wearing the second all-in-one.

“Wow, that was quick,” she remarked. I assumed that her other male customers were not as fast as I when trying on their “first” foundation garment.

She checked me out and gushed about my girlish figure. I tipped my hand again when my face turned beet red in embarrassment. I could not pay for my purchase fast enough and get out Dodge.

By the way, I loved that all-in-one. It was constructed with spring-like metal stays and it gave me a figure like no other. It was my go-to foundation garment for years. I wish I could find one like it today!

Wearing ShopBop

Martin Weiß in the 2004 German film Agnes and His Brothers.