As long as I have been going out as a woman, I have had some trepidation before I took that first step out the door into the real world. After all, under that makeup, wig and female finery is a 6 foot 2, 199-pound cisgender male.
Will I pass? Will I get read? How will civilians react? If you have ever gone out in public as a woman, you have been there and done that. I believe I will never do that again.
Two week ago, I stood at a podium in Ohio as a woman and made a short presentation to approximately 150 of my ham radio peers. It was a positive experience and a personal accomplishment.
Tuesday morning, a video of my presentation was posted on YouTube. I hesitated before I clicked the play button to view it. For the first time, I would see my female presentation as others see it... not in a still photograph, but in a full motion "live" video. Would I see a cisgender male in a dress? Would the video shatter the notion that I pass?
I clicked on the play button and five seconds into my appearance I thought "Holy Cow!" Watch my body movement and mannerisms as I say, "I used to write for QST." That is not the body movement and mannerisms of a cisgender male; that is the body movement and mannerisms of a female.
Watching the 2-1/2 minutes of video, I continued to see a female and I was absolutely floored how feminine I appeared. Yeah, "Holy Cow!"
Growing up, I was clueless about my feminine ways, but my peers were very aware of it and let me know about it in no uncertain terms. But I refused to change because my mannerisms were natural to me, a good fit and I really did not want to man-up and embrace some of the aspects of being "male" that I found unattractive and even abhorrent.
But until I viewed the video, I did not realize how really feminine I appeared. So feminine, that even my male voice worked.
As a result, I am very confident about my femulation and I will never again have any trepidation about experiencing the real world as a woman because under that makeup, wig and female finery is a 6 foot 2, 199-pound female.
But until I viewed the video, I did not realize how really feminine I appeared. So feminine, that even my male voice worked.
As a result, I am very confident about my femulation and I will never again have any trepidation about experiencing the real world as a woman because under that makeup, wig and female finery is a 6 foot 2, 199-pound female.
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| Wearing Shoshanna (Source: Rent the Runway) |
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| Krzysztof Szczepaniak femulates Lady Gaga on Polish television's Your Face Sounds Familiar. |
