Such Pretty Eyes

Typically, I gas up the Subaru at Stop & Shop after grocery shopping. The cashier for the gas concession is usually one of four people.

Today, a 30-something woman was working the cash register. I have dealt with her on about four occasions during the past few months. She is always business-friendly, but today, as I returned to the cashier booth to get change from my gasoline purchase, she remarked, "You have such pretty eyes!"

I was in boy mode, wearing glasses and almost blurted out, "You should see them when I wear makeup." But I was so taken aback by her compliment that all I could get out of my mouth was "thank-you."

Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying*

I only think about being transgender when I am in boy mode. I seldom think about it in girl mode.

In boy mode, I feel a little uncomfortable; I am in a place that is wrong for me and I think about how comfortable I would be if I was in girl mode.

In girl mode, I am in a perfect place. I don't think about moving to another place and I can get busy living.

* “Get busy living or get busy dying” is one of my favorite movie lines; it comes from one of my favorite films, The Shawshank Redemption .

Bra Training

As I mentioned here, I visited Victoria’s secret to buy a new bra when I went out en femme on Wednesday.

I wrote yesterday, "I wanted one like the one I bought last December. Called 'Plunge,' it is the best bra I ever owned.

"Evidently, they discontinued Plunge, but the saleswoman helped me find a bra that was similar called 'Very Sexy Plunge.' It looks the same as Plunge; I will try it on later today and find out for sure if it is the same."

Last night, I compared the new bra with the old bra and they are not the same; they are similar, but not very. The old bra was much, much better.

For $48, I want what I want. So, I visited the Victoria's Secret store (Meriden Westfield Mall) where I bought the old bra, rather than returning to the store (West Farms Mall) where I bought the new bra.  (The saleswoman, who waited on me at West Farms was new and not completely familiar with the product line.)

In boy mode, I brought the old and new bras with me and explained my predicament to a sales rep at the Meriden store. She immediately recognized my old bra as their Miraculous Bombshell bra, which was not discontinued afterall. Rather, it was on prominent display in the center of the store's bra section.

I picked out a replacement; a pretty model with black lace over off-white cups (photo above) and exchanged it for the wrong bra.

shopping for novices

A shopping novice asked how do I shop.

I shop from mail order catalogs, online stores, and in person in stores. I prefer "in person in stores" because I have instant feedback concerning the look and fit of an item and if the look and/or fit is an issue, I do not have to package the item and ship it back to the seller.

In person in stores, I shop in boy mode and in girl mode. In either mode, I have tried on items in dressing rooms and have never had a problem with store personnel being reluctant about me doing so. Before using the dressing room, I always ask first if I am in boy mode, but almost never ask if I am in girl mode.

In person in stores, I prefer to shop in girl mode because in that mode, I wear a wig and makeup and have properly adjusted my body so that it is curvy instead of flatty. So attired, I get instant feedback about how an item looks and fits on Staci, and not a male approximation of Staci.

If the other customer's perception of you shopping for girl stuff in boy mode is a concern, another advantage of shopping in girl mode is that the other customers usually pay less attention to a girl looking through the dress racks than a guy doing the same. Also, they will have no concerns about a girl (rather than a guy) trying on a dress in the next stall of the dressing room.

No matter how many times it has occurred, it still surprises me how store personnel are willing to let a guy try on women's clothing. So do not be afraid to shop for woman's clothing if you must do so in boy mode. Shopping in girl mode is preferable and more fun, but money talks and high heels walk no matter who is wearing them.

shopping for a wedding guest dress

This afternoon, I went shopping for a new dress to wear to the wedding. I went in boy mode to a Dress Barn I had never shopped at before. Good timing on my part because Dress Barn was having a clearance sale - 50% off - on summer dresses.

I perused the clearance racks and found five dresses that I liked. A salewoman asked how I was doing and I said I'd like to try on the dresses I had in hand. Without batting an eye, she found an empty dressing room for me and let me at it.

All five dresses fit (three were sized 14W and two 16W), but I did not like one at all after I tried it on, another was similar to one I already owned, and I eliminated a third dress because it was similar to the fourth dress, which I liked much better. The fifth dress was lovely and perfect for a wedding, so I bought the fourth and the fifth.

The fourth dress is a white satin sheath with large black swirls and a narrow black belt. This knee-length dress has a boat neck collar with a asymmetrical v-shaped slit on one side that reveals a little skin below the neckline. It is a beautiful dress and certainly suitable for a wedding, but the fifth dress is the one I plan to wear to the nuptials.

My wedding guest dress is a two-piece: a dress and a jacket. The dress piece is two tone. The black top looks like a jumper top: a square collar with wide straps (no sleeves). The white skirt is a lightly pleated, flared and lined with a black floral print at the hem that extends upward about four-fifths the length of the skirt. A wide black patent belt bisects the top and skirt. A black short-sleeved buttonless short jacket with white stitching completes the two-pieces. It is absolutely gorgeous and I look forward to wearing it.

The fourth dress listed for $59.99 and the fifth dress for $69.99. With the clearance sale and a 30% discount coupon I had, I paid only $54.49 for the two.

By the way, I was the only customer in boy mode in Dress Barn. All the other customers were in girl mode and paid me no mind even when I entered and exited the dressing room area with a fist full of dresses.