Husbands!

Hemming and Hawing

Humor in a Jugular Vein

We don't need no stinkin’ trousers!

I seldom see civilian women in dresses or skirts. At the mall last week, I saw one woman in a skirt – all the others were in pants. However, there were still racks of dresses for sale in Macy’s. Don’t know who’s buying them because nobody was wearing them. Maybe they should move those racks to the men’s department because it seems that “men” like us are more likely to wear dresses than cisgender women.

Despite what civilian women are wearing or not wearing, I still dress up when I go out. In addition to the dress, I am fully coiffured and wear heels, hosiery, handbag, jewelry, bra, girdle, full makeup, etc. – just like when Mom used to go out. (She taught her “daughter” well.)

People notice. But what’s wrong with being noticed? Being noticed may result in compliments and what girl doesn’t like to receive unsolicited compliments.

I’ve received compliments from complete strangers while out and about. My favorite occurred one day while I was looking through the racks at JCPenney. 

A middle-aged woman (same age as me) approached and asked, “Can I ask you a question?”

I had no idea what she was going to ask (“What time is it?” “Where did you buy your shoes?” “Are you a transvestite?”). I girded my loins, smiled and agreed to answer her question.

“You're dressed fashionably, so I'd like your opinion about a pair of slacks I was thinking about buying.”

Wow! I did not see that coming!

I did not like the slacks that she had picked out and suggested something with a bolder pattern. She admitted that she really did not like her pick and liked my suggestion better.

I pointed out a skirt with a pattern similar to what I had in mind and her eyes lit up as she said, “I saw slacks with that pattern. Now I just have to find them again! Thank-you for your help.”

It does not get much better than that! But how ironic: a “man” wearing a dress helping a woman shop for slacks!

I admit I have a few bifurcated garments in milady’s wardrobe. But I seldom wear them. Maybe when I attend a very casual affair like a cook-out or a softball game. Otherwise, I’m in a dress. 

After all, they don’t call it “cross-trousering,” do they?

Wearing A.L.C.

Mariusz Ostrowski femulating Shazza on Polish television’s Twoja Twarz Brzmi Znajomo.
Click here to view this femulation on YouTube.

Woman in Uniform

By Norah Blucher

At one time or another, be it in a movie, real life or wherever, we’ve noted women swooning over a man in uniform. I must admit a uniform can look right smart in many regards. It usually appears very formal and put together by nature, can often be a display of accomplishments as with military uniforms and also projects an air of competency and importance in whatever you are wearing it for.

But what about women in uniform? Do males have any type of affinity for a woman in a uniform? For myself, I’ve noted attraction to a well-dressed woman in a skirt or dress suit for many of the same reasons, but never noted anything particularly sexy about a woman in a uniform, but I’m not a run-of-the-mill male either, even en homme. I could also see where some men may feel a bit threatened by a woman in uniform as well, but why does every comedy with a stripper involve her showing up at a birthday party as a cop?

I do not wear any sort of uniform in my male or female life, so it is all a bit of a mystery to me. On a recent trip however, I found myself unexpectedly on the receiving end of this and found it a bit humorous and at Brenda’s urging, decided to share it with you all. (Sorry it took so long, love!)

Not Once, But Twice!

It was early in a particular week where I was able to spend a few partial days en femme. I’ve an affinity for a particular sweater dress of mine and though it looks nice enough on me, I adore it for its warmth and comfort. It is a little blue number from Madewell, in a wool blend with a turtleneck and some stripes on the sleeves. I think Madewell dubbed it “Nautical Pattern” or something like that. It is one of those looks that walks the line between put together housewife or business casual I often go with.

Anyway, heading out one day without a coat, I hopped on the lift and an older chap inside asked me about what floor something was on or something. I looked a bit puzzled and replied I had never stayed here before and had no idea. He then apologized and pointing at my arm, explained that he saw the stripes on my sleeve and thought I worked at the hotel.

I chuckled a bit and said I knew what he meant. This was a bit of a fancy place and I know at some of these places staff wear uniforms with stripes, braids and whatnot. Just a funny comment I thought and went on, not giving it a second thought.

It was a few days later, I found myself preparing to check out of a different hotel to head home. I’d not worn my sweater dress at this place and it was actually a weekend, so I opted again for the same dress not wanting to go with a more formal skirt or dress.

Again on a lift, now with my luggage, it stopped on another floor and a bloke came on. He smiled warmly and asked what airline I worked for. Forgetting the experience a few days before, I looked at him puzzled and said I did not work for an airline. He then looked embarrassed and apologized saying he saw my dress and the stacked luggage and said I looked like a flight attendant.

I looked at my luggage, which consists of a black rolling suitcase with a smaller matching black bag that holds my makeup and straps onto it. I laughed a bit and told him I saw what he meant and noted I did fly a lot and probably learned it from all the airline crews I encounter.

Thinking of it more later, I was near an airport and whoever sees a woman in a dress and heels, toting luggage at a hotel on Sunday anymore?  Perhaps this was why his mind was thinking of flight attendants? If one is wearing a dress these days, it must be for work, right?

So What’s With Uniforms?

I’ve still no idea, lol. My thought though is that whatever uniform one may wear, be it military, police, first responder, flight attendant or even your local market chain, uniforms are worn largely by those who serve in some capacity. I do believe in many ways that our litigious world today makes us think it safest to not comment on, compliment or approach women. As a female, women seem to freely compliment me or make conversation, males, rarely so. I get looked at, warm smiles or perhaps a hello, but unless it is a “uniformed” male serving me, very little interaction takes place.

As a “uniformed” woman, I wonder if it made me seem more approachable. A hotel worker for sure, but a flight attendant is also someone used to being talked to. It is much easier as a male to talk to a waitress, flight attendant, hotel worker, etc. Think of how many times you may have talked to them, but never say a word to the woman in front of you in a checkout line. I’m not right sure, but that is my thought.

A Smashing Compliment for Sure!

Whatever the case, that was twice that week, once as a hotel worker and once as a flight attendant, but I’ve been asked about being a flight attendant since then. Not with that particular dress, but I recall wearing a simple short sleeve dress and on another occasion, a basic black skirt and an elbow length sleeved top with the same luggage. I even have a black nylon tote bag that slings over the handle and yes, I guess I did look a bit like a flight attendant in all cases. Few airlines have the fancy uniforms they once had and flying girls today wear rather basic skirts, dresses, pants and tops in the color of their airline. 

I’ve actually come to regard this as quite a compliment! It warms my heart to know that these folks did not take me for a fellow in a frock or a bloke in a dress. Truly passing or just presenting well, I’ll leave that up to you, but at least I’m seen as someone who does this for real and truly lives this life. 

And indeed I do! I may not go to work en femme, but I do live a fair bit of it as female and am happy to know others do not see it as a costume, a gag or a lost bet. I’m not perceived as some bloody weirdo who gets their jollies from walking around in drag. It gives me confidence to know I’m taken seriously as a person and perhaps as a woman too, and even though I see male flight attendants, women still dominate the profession and I’ve been assumed to be part of them. Though I may not be a flight attendant, I’m regarded as the competent, professional woman that I present to be!

So loves, though we all hate being misidentified, I’ll take it all day long if I’m assumed to be a flight attendant and I guess on Halloween, I can just show up at a random party dressed for work. And if I do ever fly en femme, I can breeze through security or hop a flight to Paris, lol.

As always, questions and comments are welcome below, or email me at nblucher at-sign proton dot me. I always love hearing from people.

Wearing Cynthia Rowley

David Guapo femulates Rebeca on Tu Cara Me Suena, Spain’s version of Your Face Sounds Familiar.
Click here to view this femulation on YouTube.

Stuff 63: Sensations

What Do You Notice?

By J.J. Atwell

I’m wondering what sensations you, my dear readers, notice most when you are dressed. Is it the way the clothes move? How the breeze feels on areas that normal guy clothing covers? Perhaps the click of heels when you walk? 

I know that JJ is aware of those things plus a few others. Some examples: the sensation of having long hair and having to deal with it when eating; the effect of long hair somewhat restricting peripheral vision when I’m out; or if I’m wearing false eyelashes, I notice them when I first put them on, but after awhile that fades. 

The feel of the clothes around me is also something I’m aware of. If I wear leggings or stretchy jeans I notice the tug on my body as I move. I don’t typically wear snug tops so I’m less aware of that feeling on my upper torso. But I do notice things like the gentle hug of my bra and of course the boobs hanging there. That’s especially noticeable in the car with the shoulder harness crosses over them. 

How about having long, colorful nails? JJ almost always uses press-on nails when she is going out. The color and shape vary from outing to outing, but seeing them as I’m doing things is one of those sensations I notice. That and the inability to pick up items that my guy side wouldn’t have an issue grabbing. 

Do GGs Notice That, Too?

I asked my friend Gigi if she notices those same things. I had guessed that women don’t normally notice them because it is all just so normal for them. Gigi confirmed that it isn’t something she notices, but she had an interesting observation. When she is getting ready for a special outing, she spends a bit of time thinking about how she is going to look. That is, how the outfit works for her shape and the colors for her complexion. She also considers how all the accessories coordinate or accent the presentation.  

I thought that was a very good point. I know when I’m planning an outing I do think a bit about what to wear. But that thinking is more along the lines of dress/skirt vs. jeans. So far, I haven’t progressed to the point of thinking more about the whole look. I count myself lucky if I’ve managed to match the top with the bottom. Including the color and accessories in my planning is a bit beyond me. Those things usually occur to me once I’m mostly dressed and now have to find the right shoes, belt, bag and jewelry. 

I’ll Be Back

I’ll be thinking about how to improve my presentation with more advance planning. In the meantime I’ll be finding more Stuff to write about. I welcome comments and suggestions here on Stana’s page or by email at Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com.

Wearing Ann Taylor

Sha Na Na band members femulating on television’s Sha Na Na.

Humor in a Jugular Vein

Humor in a Jugular Vein

Stuff: Ladies’ Room Etiquette

By J.J. Atwell

When you need to go when you are out

Those of us who go out in public as our girl self will need to answer the call of nature at some point.  When dressed, there are a couple of options, but the most obvious is to use the ladies’ room. I suppose you could use the men’s room, but that might not be safe. You might also look for a companion or single-sex facility, but that might not be an option at the time. 

So what should I know?

It will most likely be cleaner than the men’s rooms you are familiar with. That’s nice. You’ll find a bunch of stalls, a lot of sinks and mirrors. Exactly what you probably expect to find. You might also see a floral arrangement and tissues. There might also be a dispenser for various feminine products. 

Depending on where you are when the need arrises, you might be faced with a line to get in. It shouldn’t come as any surprise to you that women do take longer in the bathroom than guys do. Somehow that fact has escaped the notice of most architects when they design buildings and there are just not enough ladies’ facilities. This is especially true if you are at a sports stadium, theater or concert venue where there is a rush during breaks.  

OK, so there’s a line. Don’t let that bother you. Assume your place in the line and once you get to the front, the next stall is yours. Hang your purse on the hook on the back of the door and sit down to do your business. Once done, double-check to make sure you’ve rearranged your clothing correctly. Step out of the stall and go to the sink to wash your hands and perhaps, inspect your makeup. It might be time to reapply some lipstick. But try not to monopolize the facilities. Others need it, too. Just do a quick check and then go back out the door. And do check out yourself in the full-length mirror to be sure everything is in order.

Respect

Remember, this is traditionally a women‘s-only place. They typically view it as a safe place. You are an interloper. Be polite and considerate. Don’t shake that view for them. 

Sometimes there will be people talking in there while other times it’s silent. My GG friend Alicia says for her it all depends on how many beers or glasses of wine she’s had. 

You might find that somebody starts a conversation with you. Women sometimes talk openly to strangers. They might offer a compliment about your outfit or the color of your dress. A return compliment is always a nice gesture. These conversations are a nice way of giving or getting support. Embrace the occasion, but don’t hold up progress. 

I’ll be back

I’ll be back with more Stuff in the next installment. Comments are welcome either here on the blog or by email to Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com. JJ is always looking for more stuff so let me know what you would like to read about.

Stana’s Note: Different jurisdictions in these United States have different laws, regulations  and ordinances regarding males using female bathroom facilities. In some jurisdictions, you can literally end up in jail for sitting to pee. On the other hand, in some jurisdictions, if you present as a lady, than it is OK to use the ladies’ room. At a minimum, you should know what is legal in your home town/county/state, so that you can make an educated choice before entering a ladies’ room. Similarly, you should find out what’s what in any locales you travel to or vacation at. So click here to find out what’s what any place in the USA.)

Wearing Stuart Weitzman (boots)

Paul Lambert femulating on British television’s Emmerdale.