About Out and About

Doing outreach at Southern Connecticut State University

I was planning to go out en femme this Thursday to the monthly Creative Cocktail Hour at Real Art Ways, which restarted in July after shutting down during the pandemic. However, the way things have been going downhill pandemic-wise, I wondered if the Cocktail Hour would be cancelled or at a minimum, require masking and social distancing. 

I received an email last week informing me that the Hour had indeed been cancelled with hopes of restarting it in September.

Darn it! I may go out anyway.

When out and about, have you ever run into a friend or acquaintance from your male life, who is unaware of your female life?

I have, but I managed to avoid being caught with my pants down (and my panty girdle up).

First time it happened, I was shopping in Macy’s and saw the receptionist from my office strolling down the aisle. I believe that most people who know only my male side would never recognize me en femme, but in this case, the receptionist had seen me in my office girl costume on Halloween. So I quickly ducked down a side aisle and avoided the confrontation.

Second time, I was doing outreach for a Human Sexuality class at Southern Connecticut State University. After class, I exited the classroom and saw a family friend, who was a student at the University, hanging out with some other students. Nowhere to hide, I girded my loins, walked down the hall and passed unnoticed.

Which reminds me of my favorite question received during outreach Q & A:

Student asked, “Are you married?”

I answered, “Yes.”

The student followed up with, “...to a woman?”

And so it goes.

Wearing LIKELY

Grayson Perry

A Jane Fonda Night

Thursday afternoon, I drove to my daughter’s apartment in Hartford to attend Real Art Ways’ monthly Creative Cocktail Hour. The cocktail hour began at 6 PM, but I left home at 3:45 because the weather was miserable (heavy rain and gusty wind) and I assumed the traffic on I-84 would be miserable, too. I was correct; the normal 25-minute ride took 45 minutes. 

I arrived at my daughter’s apartment just as the rain let up momentarily, so I was able to dash from my car to her apartment building without getting wet. My daughter and her dog greeted me and we killed time waiting for the start of the cocktail hour talking and drinking (her water, me coffee).

Wearing a new dress and new hairdo, I asked my daughter how did I look and she said I looked like Jane Fonda. I thought that made sense... a senior woman trying to look younger by wearing a lot of makeup and a youthful hairdo. Anyway, I took it as a compliment.

My daughter has no qualms about appearing with me en femme in public, but asked me how should she introduce me if we met up with any of her friends. I suggested “Aunt” or “friend.” She preferred Aunt and that settled that.

At 6 PM, we walked to Real Art Ways and found a small crowd already in attendance. We immediately encountered one of her friends, a woman who worked there. I hung back as the two exchanged greetings and then the woman looked at me and said, “You look beautiful.”

I held out my hand and introduced myself, “I’m her Dad.”

She seemed surprised, “Nice to meet you. And you are beautiful.”

That set the tone for the evening. I felt like I could do no wrong walking through the galleries and taking in all the art exhibits.

I expected to run into some of my transwomen friends from my old support group. In the past, there might be a dozen in attendance, but not so Thursday night. In general, attendance seemed down. I assume that the weather had a lot to do with it considering thousands of homes throughout the state were still without power due downed trees caused by the storm.  

I did meet up with a new friend, the lovely Christine, who reads this blog. She had emailed me days ago that she might attend after reading that I planned to attend. She did and we did meet up and became new friends.

And I did meet up with Deja, a very old support group friend. We spent a lot of time catching up and it was great to see her again. (My daughter had met Deja at my support group’s annual banquet in 2005, so they had even more catching up to do!)  

Due to the small crowd size, it was not a typical Creative Cocktail Hour. Besides the absence of other transwomen who usually show, I did not see familiar civilian faces I have seen in the past. C’est la vie.

My daughter and I had a great time anyway and we will probably do it again real soon now.

Wearing Paige Chamomile dress.

To  be determined!

Girls’ Night Out with a Twist

Real Art Ways "is an alternative multidisciplinary arts organization in Hartford, CT that presents and supports contemporary artists.” On the third Thursday of each month, Real Art Ways holds a "Creative Cocktail Hour," which they say, "represents the best of everything Real Art Ways has to offer: innovative art, invigorating music and hundreds of the most interesting and open-minded people to share the experience.”

I have attended Creative Cocktail Hour a number of times and typically found a dozen or so of my trans sisters also in attendance. I have not attended Creative Cocktail Hour since the summer of 2014. I had made plans to go since then, but life got in the way and I was unable to go.

My daughter recently moved to Hartford and Real Art Ways is her neighbor. While walking her dog, she has encountered Creative Cocktail Hour crowds milling about Real Art Ways, but she has never attended because she did not want to go solo (I can’t blame her).

I mentioned to her that some of my trans sisters attend and I would be happy to accompany her if she was comfortable going with her old aunt rather than her old man. She was enthusiastic about attending with me en femme, so we have a date to go to Creative Cocktail Hour together.

How cool is that!

Wearing Venus

Singer Akihiro Miwa

Bad Hair Day Continued

As I wrote in my last two posts, I went out Sunday evening to attend a surprise birthday party of one of my long-time trans girlfriends.

The party started slowly guest-wise, so initially I made small talk with the handful of people who showed up early like I did and in the process, made fast friends with a lesbian couple. When some of my trans friends finally arrived, I hung out with them and caught up on things since the last time we had met.

Everyone noticed my new hairdo and said they liked it. But one long time friend said it made me look like an old lady, which confirmed my assessment.

I am old enough and don't want to highlight my age, so I was a little upset with myself for not listening to my inner fashionista and rejecting the gray wig as my crowning glory.

When I got back home to my boudoir, I replaced the long gray wig with one of my short blonde wigs and immediately shed 10 to 15 years. So I will not wear the gray wig again until the day I am so old that the gray wig makes me look younger!

Wearing Boston Proper.

Joshua Hart crossplays/femulates Alice.

Bad Hair Day

As I wrote in my short post on Monday, I went out Sunday evening to attend a surprise birthday party for one of my long-time trans girlfriends. The party started at 4 PM, which meant I spent the better part of Sunday afternoon getting femmed up for the event.

I took my time doing my makeup and as a result, it took an hour rather than the normal 30 to 45 minutes. Then I dressed, switching outfits a few times while trying to decide what to wear out the door. I finally settled on a recent acquisition from Avon, a little black dress with laser cutouts along the hemline (that's the dress, not me in the photo above). I accessorized with vintage earrings and necklace and a long black and white scarf from Avon. Nude Payless pumps and matching nude Avon bag completed the ensemble.

Some time ago, I bought a wig from Envy that I had never worn. I purchased it because I was very happy with another Envy wig I had bought and more importantly, it was available in a large size, which is a rarity in the wig world. For some reason that escapes me now, I bought the wig in light gray/platinum.

When the wig arrived, I tried it on without makeup and I thought it looked awful, but that is often the case when I try a wig on without makeup, so I put it away for a future outing. The future had arrived and I wore it on Sunday. It looked much better with makeup, but I thought it made me look old. That should have alerted me, but I made up my mind to wear it and that I did.

I arrived at the party early because it was a surprise party, so I assumed all the guests should be in place to surprise the birthday girl when she arrived. Turns out that the birthday girl knew about the party and was already in the building when I arrived.

C'est la vie.

Wearing Eloquii.

Enrico Lo Verso femulates in the 1997 Italian film As You Want Me.

Sunday evening outing

Sunday was an evening out for this girl as I attended a surprise birthday party for Audrey, one of my long-time trans girlfriends. The venue was Real Art Ways, a non-profit art space in Hartford, where I have attended their monthly "creative cocktail party" on numerous occasions.

Wearing Dress Barn.

Artur Chamski femulates on Polish television's Twoja Twarz Brzmi Znajomo.

My Ticket

After attending the StampShow, I drove to the Pond House Cafe, a restaurant in the middle of Hartford’s Elizabeth Park to dine with my friend Diana. Diana arrived at 5 PM sharp and we dined outdoors on the restaurant’s patio.

There is not a lot to say about dinner. The meal and the dinner conversation were great, the restaurant staff used the proper pronouns, called us “ladies” and seemed genuinely glad to have us as customers.

There were only a few other diners and they did not seem to notice us, except for one. Midway through our meal, a couple, probably in their late 60s, were seated opposite us; the woman had her back to me, but her dinner partner (I assumed it was her husband) was facing me and almost every time I looked his way, he was looking at me. His facial expression showed neither approval or disapproval, but he was studying me intently; so much so that I thought about going over to him and asking him if we knew each other. I was certain that I did not know him, but maybe he knew me or thought he did or something else was going on. (I think something else was going on, but I don't know what.)

After dinner, I drove across town to Real Art Ways for their monthly Creative Cocktail Hour. “Real Art Ways is one of the United States' leading innovative contemporary arts organizations, with programs in Visual Arts (commissioned public projects, curated exhibitions, education), Live Arts (innovative music of all kinds, performance, spoken word) and Film and Video (feature films and artists' videos)”

Real Art Ways is a very cool venue and has openly welcomed transgender folks for over a decade. Over the years I have attended about 20 of their Creative Cocktail Hours. It attracts a very eclectic crowd and is always an interesting evening.

Thursday’s installment was like old home week. In addition to Diana, three other girls from my old support group showed up and we had a good time talking about the old times as well as the new times.

We were ensconced strategically on the deck outdoors, which is the gateway between the indoor and outdoor activities. As a result, I saw everybody as they passed to and fro and they had an opportunity to see me. And I could not help noticing the guys, especially the middle-aged and beyond checking me out.

It was all so affirming, but a little disconcerting to receive so much attention and nothing more. None of the admirers made an attempt to approach me or my friends nor strike up a conversation. It was great conversing with my old friends, but it would have been interesting/different to interact with an admirer, too.

On the other hand, maybe they were not admirers. Maybe they were just amused by the appearance an obvious femulator.

On the other hand (that's three hands now), maybe they were just intimidated by an attractive woman and afraid to do anything but gawk.

Yeah --- that's the ticket!

Anyway, I called it quits early --- at about 8:30 PM. It was a long day and a woman's got to know her limitations, so I said my goodbyes and rode away into the sunset.

 

 

 

Wearing SVEE.

 

 

 

Contestant in the 2012 Mz. Relay for Life womanless beauty pageant in Cape Coral, Florida.

Perfect Storm

Saturday night, I will attend One Big Event at the Connecticut Convention Center in downtown Hartford. The event benefits the Hartford Gay & Lesbian Heath Collective.

It will be my fourth time attending this event, which includes a cocktail hour, dinner, and dancing to a live band. The photo is me after dressing for the 2010 installment of the event. Last year, the Hartford Courant recorded my appearance with a photo in the print edition of the newspaper!

This is a dress-up affair; men in tuxedos and women in evening gowns and cocktail dresses. I plan to wear the $190 gold metallic brocade sheath cocktail dress that I purchased from Spiegel's Ultimate Outlet store for $10. My shoes will be the Nine West nude platform pumps that I just bought last week. I will wear a gold sequins clutch, but my jewelry accessories are still in the undecided category. I also am not sure how I will wear my hair.

Saturday night turns out to be a "perfect storm."

For some reason, the date of One Big Event was moved from mid-November to Saturday night. Coincidentally, Real Art Ways moved their Odd Ball from mid-March to Saturday night. Fantasia Fair also has their Gala Awards Banquet on Saturday night. And the Red Sox will be playing in the World Series Saturday night.

The Red Sox's World Series appearance was impossible to plan for and I did not go to Fantasia Fair this year, but I would have attended One Big Event and the Odd Ball if they were on different nights. I had to decide between the two and chose One Big Event.

And so I go.

 

 

 

Actor John Hurt in British television’s The Naked Civil Servant, 1975.

 

 

 

Wearing Metrostyle.

All the lonely people

After the dining out portion of our girl's night out Thursday, Diana and I drove to the cocktail party at Real Art Ways (RAW).

On the third Thursday of each month, this Hartford art center hosts its Creative Cocktail Hour, which usually includes the opening of a new art exhibit, a live band, finger food and of course, creative cocktails. The crowd is very diverse and the local trans community has been showing up from the get go. In fact, one of my long-time trans friends, Audrey, is on the board of RAW.

My iPhone took me on a different route than Diana, but we arrived at RAW simultaneously! The cocktail hour began at 6 and when we arrived at 6:30, the crowd was sparse. I bought a drink and walked around looking at the art exhibits. Then we staked out a comfy wall-length couch, which became tranny central for most of the evening.

In the past, I have seen up to a dozen transwomen in attendance, but this time I counted only four including myself and Diana. RAW board member Audrey showed up as did another long-time trans friend, Deja. I chatted with Audrey and Deja like forever catching up on each other's lives.

Besides chatting, I people-watched. The size of the crowd was atypical for the RAW cocktail party. It is usually wall-to-wall people, but this time, the crowd was much thinner. Dunno why, but it was. And unlike the restaurant, where I felt invisible, the cocktail hour is a very social environment and people watched each other. Invisibility was impossible.

I noticed a number of beautifully-dressed women in attendance and the length of some of their skirts competed with mine. Some of the woman were very friendly and greeted me as if we were old friends despite the fact we had never seen each other before.

A couple of fellows came over to our group of girls, introduced themselves and chatted for awhile… mostly with Deja and not guy-shy me. (I am guy-shy because I am not interested in guys.)

I made a new friend Thursday night, Shawn. He is a friend of Audrey's and came over to chat with us. After he heard me speak, he was taken aback by my accent. When I told him I was born and raised in Waterbury, he said my accent was unlike any Waterbury accent he had ever encountered before. I mentioned that my first language was Polish and I only learned English after my parents bought a television. He thought that maybe having Polish as my language had something to do with my odd Waterbury accent. We then switched gears and talked about the Red Sox… not the ones we wear on our feet, but the ones that play in Fenway Park.

Audrey and Deja moved on to listen to the live band and Diana left for home. I listened to the band for a couple of songs, but the music sounded muddled. I suspect the acoustics of the room were at fault. Whatever --- it was not something I wanted to continue listening to, so I returned to the comfy couch to people watch.

As I sipped my second glass of lime and seltzer, I watched all the lonely people and suddenly felt lonely myself. I felt bad that I didn't try to break the ice with some of the singles who sat nearby at various times throughout the evening. And I promised to myself to do better next time.

And there will be a next time.

Andrej Pejic, femulating fashion model.

Wearing Avon Mark.

Night Out

It's girls' night out tonight as I meet up with my girlfriend and world renowned blogger, Diana, at our favorite Mexican restaurant where we will hatch plans on how to femulate the blogosphere (and then the world).

After dinner, we will move on to Real Art Ways for their monthly Creative Cocktail Hour, where we will just be fabulous (until they kick us out).

La de da.

Eduarda Brigida, Miss Gay Universe

 

Wearing Boston Proper.