Susan: Out, However Briefly

Susan e-mailed me about her recent jaunt in Los Angeles – her first as a woman. Here is her story.

Last night, I went out among civilians, as you say, for the first time. I'm writing to tell you about it because you were my inspiration for making the move.

So with a professional manicure and a beautiful new boiled wool coat (an absolute steal of a Elie Tahari) to deal with a slight cold snap here in Los Angeles, I set out for a makeover at standalone MAC store some distance from my home.

Given the nature of my neighborhood, I had to leave in mostly covered up guy mode (essentially sans wig) and do some quick change in the dark side of the parking lot. Some jewelry, a bit of lipstick and off to the store. I was amazed at how clandestine I was throughout. I was not happy with the state of my hair which is so important in a presentation. I don't want to have to keep sneaking about changing and applying makeup in parking lots.

As I was driving along at 60 miles an hour, I was sure everyone passing by was noticing my painted nails – how silly!

I had great luck parking right in front of the store. The makeup artist was sweet and professional. She did what I asked – natural, light, age-appropriate. I was not overwhelmed, but it was all that I asked for. I would have preferred pinker lips, but I was so nervous I just wanted to get out of there.

I decided to stop by a women's store on the way home – a place I have visited in guy mode. The saleswomen have always been so helpful and sweet and I just wanted to interact with them en femme.

One recognized me pretty quickly and she was so nice. She loved my coat and said I looked so pretty. I browsed for a very short time. We took each other's hand, said goodbye and off I went into the brrr (LA brrr that is), but so warm in all respects in my new coat. It was dark enough that I drove through my neighborhood right into my garage en femme.

I surprised myself by not taking any pictures to commemorate the event. Surprised too that I was nonplussed by my image. I was just Susan. I was extremely tired – more from the planning, anticipation, etc. So I took off the makeup and relaxed. Glowing, but recognizing that it's hard to live in the dark as I do. I wonder how long I can go without coming out to my spouse. We'll see, as they say.

My point in writing to you is to again acknowledge and thank you for being the inspiration for the event. Thank you, Stana.

Wearing New York & Company (Source: New York & Company)

Rick Hammerly,  Zack Powell and Dezi Bing femulating in a stage production of The Legend of Georgia McBride.

Frozen

By Paula Gaikowski

Stana noted recently that Wednesday’s column had fell victim to the snow here in New England. Being a sister Yankee and dealing with the record snowfalls this year, I can relate and decided to help out with content by penning a story about a recent outing here in Massachusetts.

Towards the end of January after several storms had dumped 2 to 3 feet each on us, I was ready for some girl time. I was tired of snow boots and ski pants and wanted to trade them in for a cute pair of riding boots and pantyhose.

It was a Friday in late January and we had a heavy snowfall the day before. That day we were forecasted to get 2 to 3 inches, not intimidating at all for this girl, so I decided to make a run to the Burlington Mall and just do some shopping.

I wore my tweed skirt from my Pendleton suit, a beige knit top, riding boots and black tights. What a pleasant relief to be all prettied up. There truly is a joy that takes over my heart as I get ready and watch myself become a woman. Sadness and stress melts away and I notice this woman smiling back from the mirror as I scurry around looking for lipstick or an earring.

I stopped at Dunkin’ Donuts for coffee, walked inside instead of using the drive-thru and got coffee. So boring ― just a woman on her way to work. I remember a few years ago it would have taken a legion of courage to go inside and then I would have been so flustered that I would have run home.
I don’t have that problem anymore for several reasons. One is confidence and that comes from number two, which is an improved overall presentation ― hair, makeup, clothes, and deportment. Third is acceptance and attitude; I truly have accepted the fact that I am transgender and do not see it as an issue that can be used against me.

Before I go out as a woman, I sit quietly for a while and reflect. I visualize myself as a woman, who is post-transition with years of experience living and working as a female. I tell myself this is who I am now. This frees me.

Off like a prom dress, I rode through the lightly falling snow to the Burlington Mall. Because of the snow the day before and the light snow that day, the mall was relatively empty. When I walked up to the M·A·C counter, I had my choice of makeup artists. The first to help was Rachael, pretty, trendy and vivacious.

The makeover itself was so much fun. I told her to ask me any question she wanted to as I was happy to educate her about transgender people. I got into the chair at 10:20 and was done at 12:30. We talked about everything. She asked me questions about growing up transgender, being married, what it felt like to have experienced being a woman for the first time. She asked me about dating, men and sexuality. We also talked M·A·C and makeup. I learned so much as I always do when I go to M·A·C.

Typically you schedule makeovers in advance; Rachael wasn’t busy so she just went for it. I made sure to buy over $60 of makeup and also quietly tipped Rachael $20.

With no time left to shop, I had to rush home before I turned back into Cinderella.

It was a sure way to beat the winter blues and get away from shoveling. I recommend a visit to your local M·A·C counter wholeheartedly. If you can’t it make it out, take some time to dress up at home and make yourself pretty. Spring is coming!

Wearing Anthropologie.

Lili Elbe, circa 1930.