Thor’s Day Out

Thursday, I dressed pretty and attended the Creative Cocktail Hour put on monthly by Real
Art Ways. “Held every third Thursday of the month. A diversity of cool cats and outcasts gathers to experience art and connect with one another.” 

Last time I attended was just before the pandemic. Avoiding crowds, I have not attended since... until yesterday. (Before the pandemic, I attended three or four times each year.)

I wore a new dress from Zesica via Amazon – a sleeveless Damask T-shirt cover-up dress in a sexy leopard print, nude pumps from Payless, nude bag from Christian Siriano, nude thigh highs from Berkshire, gold necklace and earrings from Avon and unmentionables from Rago. 

To offset all the nude-ity, I wore a black scarf, but that choice was rejected by my fashion consultant (my Missus). She suggested something brighter, so we went through my scarf stash and redressed with a gold scarf.

The “Hour” starts at 6, so I left home at 5:30 PM. Traffic was light once I got through ESPN Town congestion and I arrived at Real Art Ways at 5:50. Paid my admission and looked for a familiar and/or welcoming face. 

I immediately ran into Deja, a friend who I first met at our support group years ago. We bought drinks, then grabbed a couple of seats indoors to catch up with each other’s lives. After we were all caught up, we went outside to listen to the live band, where I ran into Audrey, another support group friend. Audrey took the photo above, while we tried to catch up, but it was difficult because the band was very loud.

I did not encounter any other old friends, but I did meet some new acquaintances – two girls like me, one girl who was indeterminate and a table of cisgender girls, who “loved” my outfit.

At 8 PM, I exited to avoid driving in the dark. 

It was fun to get out again and I plan to do so more often.

Wearing Soleiluna

Members of Transvestite Independence Club (TVIC) circa 1977

About Out and About

Doing outreach at Southern Connecticut State University

I was planning to go out en femme this Thursday to the monthly Creative Cocktail Hour at Real Art Ways, which restarted in July after shutting down during the pandemic. However, the way things have been going downhill pandemic-wise, I wondered if the Cocktail Hour would be cancelled or at a minimum, require masking and social distancing. 

I received an email last week informing me that the Hour had indeed been cancelled with hopes of restarting it in September.

Darn it! I may go out anyway.

When out and about, have you ever run into a friend or acquaintance from your male life, who is unaware of your female life?

I have, but I managed to avoid being caught with my pants down (and my panty girdle up).

First time it happened, I was shopping in Macy’s and saw the receptionist from my office strolling down the aisle. I believe that most people who know only my male side would never recognize me en femme, but in this case, the receptionist had seen me in my office girl costume on Halloween. So I quickly ducked down a side aisle and avoided the confrontation.

Second time, I was doing outreach for a Human Sexuality class at Southern Connecticut State University. After class, I exited the classroom and saw a family friend, who was a student at the University, hanging out with some other students. Nowhere to hide, I girded my loins, walked down the hall and passed unnoticed.

Which reminds me of my favorite question received during outreach Q & A:

Student asked, “Are you married?”

I answered, “Yes.”

The student followed up with, “...to a woman?”

And so it goes.

Wearing LIKELY

Grayson Perry

A Jane Fonda Night

Thursday afternoon, I drove to my daughter’s apartment in Hartford to attend Real Art Ways’ monthly Creative Cocktail Hour. The cocktail hour began at 6 PM, but I left home at 3:45 because the weather was miserable (heavy rain and gusty wind) and I assumed the traffic on I-84 would be miserable, too. I was correct; the normal 25-minute ride took 45 minutes. 

I arrived at my daughter’s apartment just as the rain let up momentarily, so I was able to dash from my car to her apartment building without getting wet. My daughter and her dog greeted me and we killed time waiting for the start of the cocktail hour talking and drinking (her water, me coffee).

Wearing a new dress and new hairdo, I asked my daughter how did I look and she said I looked like Jane Fonda. I thought that made sense... a senior woman trying to look younger by wearing a lot of makeup and a youthful hairdo. Anyway, I took it as a compliment.

My daughter has no qualms about appearing with me en femme in public, but asked me how should she introduce me if we met up with any of her friends. I suggested “Aunt” or “friend.” She preferred Aunt and that settled that.

At 6 PM, we walked to Real Art Ways and found a small crowd already in attendance. We immediately encountered one of her friends, a woman who worked there. I hung back as the two exchanged greetings and then the woman looked at me and said, “You look beautiful.”

I held out my hand and introduced myself, “I’m her Dad.”

She seemed surprised, “Nice to meet you. And you are beautiful.”

That set the tone for the evening. I felt like I could do no wrong walking through the galleries and taking in all the art exhibits.

I expected to run into some of my transwomen friends from my old support group. In the past, there might be a dozen in attendance, but not so Thursday night. In general, attendance seemed down. I assume that the weather had a lot to do with it considering thousands of homes throughout the state were still without power due downed trees caused by the storm.  

I did meet up with a new friend, the lovely Christine, who reads this blog. She had emailed me days ago that she might attend after reading that I planned to attend. She did and we did meet up and became new friends.

And I did meet up with Deja, a very old support group friend. We spent a lot of time catching up and it was great to see her again. (My daughter had met Deja at my support group’s annual banquet in 2005, so they had even more catching up to do!)  

Due to the small crowd size, it was not a typical Creative Cocktail Hour. Besides the absence of other transwomen who usually show, I did not see familiar civilian faces I have seen in the past. C’est la vie.

My daughter and I had a great time anyway and we will probably do it again real soon now.

Wearing Paige Chamomile dress.

To  be determined!

Girls’ Night Out with a Twist

Real Art Ways "is an alternative multidisciplinary arts organization in Hartford, CT that presents and supports contemporary artists.” On the third Thursday of each month, Real Art Ways holds a "Creative Cocktail Hour," which they say, "represents the best of everything Real Art Ways has to offer: innovative art, invigorating music and hundreds of the most interesting and open-minded people to share the experience.”

I have attended Creative Cocktail Hour a number of times and typically found a dozen or so of my trans sisters also in attendance. I have not attended Creative Cocktail Hour since the summer of 2014. I had made plans to go since then, but life got in the way and I was unable to go.

My daughter recently moved to Hartford and Real Art Ways is her neighbor. While walking her dog, she has encountered Creative Cocktail Hour crowds milling about Real Art Ways, but she has never attended because she did not want to go solo (I can’t blame her).

I mentioned to her that some of my trans sisters attend and I would be happy to accompany her if she was comfortable going with her old aunt rather than her old man. She was enthusiastic about attending with me en femme, so we have a date to go to Creative Cocktail Hour together.

How cool is that!

Wearing Venus

Singer Akihiro Miwa

My Ticket

After attending the StampShow, I drove to the Pond House Cafe, a restaurant in the middle of Hartford’s Elizabeth Park to dine with my friend Diana. Diana arrived at 5 PM sharp and we dined outdoors on the restaurant’s patio.

There is not a lot to say about dinner. The meal and the dinner conversation were great, the restaurant staff used the proper pronouns, called us “ladies” and seemed genuinely glad to have us as customers.

There were only a few other diners and they did not seem to notice us, except for one. Midway through our meal, a couple, probably in their late 60s, were seated opposite us; the woman had her back to me, but her dinner partner (I assumed it was her husband) was facing me and almost every time I looked his way, he was looking at me. His facial expression showed neither approval or disapproval, but he was studying me intently; so much so that I thought about going over to him and asking him if we knew each other. I was certain that I did not know him, but maybe he knew me or thought he did or something else was going on. (I think something else was going on, but I don't know what.)

After dinner, I drove across town to Real Art Ways for their monthly Creative Cocktail Hour. “Real Art Ways is one of the United States' leading innovative contemporary arts organizations, with programs in Visual Arts (commissioned public projects, curated exhibitions, education), Live Arts (innovative music of all kinds, performance, spoken word) and Film and Video (feature films and artists' videos)”

Real Art Ways is a very cool venue and has openly welcomed transgender folks for over a decade. Over the years I have attended about 20 of their Creative Cocktail Hours. It attracts a very eclectic crowd and is always an interesting evening.

Thursday’s installment was like old home week. In addition to Diana, three other girls from my old support group showed up and we had a good time talking about the old times as well as the new times.

We were ensconced strategically on the deck outdoors, which is the gateway between the indoor and outdoor activities. As a result, I saw everybody as they passed to and fro and they had an opportunity to see me. And I could not help noticing the guys, especially the middle-aged and beyond checking me out.

It was all so affirming, but a little disconcerting to receive so much attention and nothing more. None of the admirers made an attempt to approach me or my friends nor strike up a conversation. It was great conversing with my old friends, but it would have been interesting/different to interact with an admirer, too.

On the other hand, maybe they were not admirers. Maybe they were just amused by the appearance an obvious femulator.

On the other hand (that's three hands now), maybe they were just intimidated by an attractive woman and afraid to do anything but gawk.

Yeah --- that's the ticket!

Anyway, I called it quits early --- at about 8:30 PM. It was a long day and a woman's got to know her limitations, so I said my goodbyes and rode away into the sunset.

 

 

 

Wearing SVEE.

 

 

 

Contestant in the 2012 Mz. Relay for Life womanless beauty pageant in Cape Coral, Florida.