The Spark

I have always had feminine inclinations and made no effort to hide them. Ask my family, friends, acquaintances and enemies and they will tell you that I am one of the most feminine guys they know. And I’m not even trying! 

Natured or nurtured? Any feminine characteristics I have are natural and not put-on. As long as I can remember, I have always been feminine. That’s not to say that my parents had nothing to do with it – being a Momma’s boy/girl certainly had an influence.

Crossdressing was a perfect match for me. But who knew squat about crossdressing back in my formative years?

So it was kismet that my Dad bought the Daily News for handicapping horses, where I noticed an ad for 82 Club among the horse race results in the back of the paper. 82 Club (AKA Club 82) was a nightclub in New York City that featured female impersonators and their ads depicted a beautiful showgirl (or so I initially thought), who was actually an impersonator from the club.

I was amazed that a male could look so female! And I began clipping the weekly 82 Club ads from the newspaper saving them behind the Washington Senators in the box containing my baseball card collection.

Soon I was investigating my mother’s wardrobe. I will never forget when I finally got up the courage to try on a pair of her nylons and high heel pumps. Then looking in the mirror and seeing the the legs of a woman reflected back at me. And that woman was me!

Whenever I was home alone, I dressed in my mother’s and sister’s clothing and makeup. I often concentrated on experimenting with their bras and girdles trying to find the right combination that was best for me. Makeup was a challenge, but I studied the art and got better at it. My sister even bought a wiglet to complete my femulation! 

Practice, practice, practice, but to what end? I finally could not contain myself any longer and on Halloween 1970, I crossdressed and went out visiting (and shocking) some relatives. 

That was the beginning and there seems to be no end!

Wearing Elisabetta Franchi

Fontasia L'Amour femulating on television’s Sparks in 1997.
You can view this femulation on YouTube.
Thank you Zoe for the femulation alert!

New York Dolls at Club 82

In last Wednesday’s post, I mentioned that newspaper ads for the New York City female impersonator  nightclub Club 82 sparked my fascination with female impersonation – so much so that I began experimenting with female impersonation myself. In response to that post, Paula sent me links to two recent articles (links One and Two) that recount the history of the venue.

From the articles, I learned that the nightclub became a rock venue in the 1970s. Both articles include links to a live performance by the New York Dolls at the nightclub.

The New York Dolls were one of the first glam rock bands. They sported femininely-styled hair, makeup and costumes. You wouldn’t give them a second look today, but back in their heyday, they caught the attention of this young femulator. I expected them to don skirts and dresses at any moment, but they never did.

But it turns out they did!

The video of the group performing at Club 82 shows the group’s singer, David Johansen, wearing a cocktail dress and heels. I don’t know if David donned a dress and heels on a regular basis or if it was a one-time thing in honor of Club 82, but there you have it!

(The quality of the video is poor. So I refer you to a better quality video of the group performing a different song during that same appearance at Club 82.)

Wearing Bebe

M is for this Marvelous Miss from Mount Enterprise High School in Texas, who is certainly “Not a Civilian?”

Frequent film and television femulators Fred Armisen and Bill Hader play sisters in the 2015 mockumentary Sandy Passage. You can view an excerpt on YouTube.

My Start

I received an e-mail that posed the following question: How did you get drawn into the crossdressing world?

Here is my story.

When I was a kid, I was intrigued with disguises. Being a creative sort, I assembled my own original costumes for Halloween rather than wear something off the rack. However, I would never be caught dead in a dress; all my costumes were male-themed, for example, monsters, pirates, ghouls, but not girls.

When I was about 10 or 11 years old, one of the newspapers my Dad bought (the Daily News) began carrying weekly thumbnail-sized ads for 82 Club, a New York City nightclub that featured female impersonators. Each advertisement exclaimed, “[insert name here] is no lady!” (like the ad above) and contained a photo of a beautiful female impersonator.

Up until then, I was only familiar with the Milton Berlesque variety of female impersonation, so the advertisements fascinated me. The beauty and authenticity of  the impersonators amazed me.

Every week, I anxiously awaited the appearance of a new 82 Club advertisement and I was seldom disappointed as male after male was shown transformed into a beautiful female.

I was so intrigued that a male could transform himself into a gorgeous female that I decided to experiment with female impersonation myself and soon I was slipping on my first pair of nylons and heels. Using my mother's and sister's wardrobes and cosmetics, I tried to transform myself into a young lady.

I enjoyed every minute of it, but I started feeling very guilty. None of the guys I knew did what I did. I wondered if something was wrong with me. (Sound familiar?)

But, I did not stop and I continued experimenting, while fine-tuning my femulating skills in the process.

And that’s my story.

(Caveat Emptor: This post is a re-post of a post from the past.)

Wearing Carolina Herrera

The letter G stands for Gobs of Good-looking Girls – so many potential “Not a Civilians?” that I could not select just one! Our leggy beauty (top left) hails from Galena (TX) High School, while our fashionable lass (top right) comes from Graham (NC) High School. The formally outfitted gal (bottom left) is from Guymon (OK) High School and our pretty Erik (bottom right) is out of Granite Hills High in El Cajun, CA. 

What do these girls have in common that gives them away as not necessarily civilians: thinned and shaped eyebrows, just like the avowed femulator below.

Wearing Calvin Klein dress and Nine West Tomalah Ombre pumps for my May 6th photoshoot.

Becoming That Girl

That Girl in the Mirror

As a youngster, I became fascinated with female impersonation after seeing weekly advertisements in the Daily News depicting glamorous women who were actually men performing at a nightclub, the 82 Club, in New York City.

One thing led to another and around age 12, I began experimenting with female impersonation myself. Whenever I was home alone, I would explore the wardrobes and cosmetics of my mother and sister. And over the years, I became adapt at transforming myself into a presentable female — so much so that when I attended Halloween parties dressed as a woman, other guests often wondered why I was not in costume!

Such affirmation of my impersonation was wonderful, but I was closeted and only displayed my talents on those handful of occasions when I was invited to a Halloween celebration. As a result, I was frustrated keeping my impersonation under wraps, but I also had fleeting thoughts that there was something more to my impersonation beyond all its trappings. I thought I might be transsexual.

That thought was contrary to everything that was “normal” in my world. So I forgot about it and concentrated on becoming the best “plain-vanilla” crossdresser I could be. But there just weren’t enough Halloween parties in my life, so I began exploring the Internet for other outlets for the woman I was impersonating.

Via a transgender group on CompuServe, I learned about a local support group for crossdressers. I joined the group, became an active member attending its twice monthly meetings and relishing its infrequent expeditions out amongst the civilians visiting restaurants, nail salons, clothing stores, beauty parlors and wig stores!

Through those expeditions, I gained the confidence to go out in public on my own and despite my fears, the world did not end when I did so. Instead, I discovered that I fit in as just another middle-aged woman — a fashionably-dressed middle-aged woman — but a middle-aged woman, nonetheless.

I also discovered that fitting in as a middle-aged woman was a perfect fit. I was not a female impersonator, rather I realized that I was actually a woman who happened to have a male body.

It all made sense. All my life I was naturally “feminine” according to society’s definition of feminine. And being feminine was not an act; it was not something I strived to be — it was just me being me.

A telling moment was when I attended a college Halloween party dressed as a woman. At the party, a friend mentioned that he never realized how feminine I was as a male until he saw me dressed as a woman. In his eyes, my feminine speech, mannerisms and appearance had all come together and at that moment, I was a woman and not a feminine guy.

(excerpted from Fantasia Fair Diaries)

Paolo Ballesteros femulating in the 2016 Filipino film Die Beautiful.

82 Club = Club 82

David asked about New York City's 82 Club, which was also known as Club 82, which was a nightclub in Manhattan that featured female impersonators in the 1950s and 1960s. The Club played an important part in my personal herstory.

Pre-teen, the only female impersonation I was familiar with was the Milton Berlesque type, that is, female impersonation played up for laughs with no attempt at true femulation. I wanted to be a female, not a joke, so I was not interested in that type of impersonation.

Then I discovered the weekly thumbnail Club ads in the back of the sports section of the New York Daily News. Each ad depicted a glamorous showgirl accompanied by the caption "Who's No Lady?"

I was amazed that guys could look like those gals! That type of female impersonation definitely interested me and soon I began experimenting with female impersonation myself and was well on my way to boarding the Good Ship Lollipop.

David asked for information regarding the Club and I was happy to pass along some Internet links.

Here is the link to my 82 Club/Club 82 postcard collection:

https://sites.google.com/site/femulate/Home/my-ephemera/new-york-city-female-impersonator-ephemera

Here are other pertinent 82 Club/Club 82  links:

http://queermusicheritage.com/fem-cl82.html

http://bedfordandbowery.com/2014/01/wed-found-this-cave-out-of-time-a-look-back-at-glam-rocks-club-82/

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/wayne-anderson/hidden-history-tobi-marsh_b_1592620.html

http://streetsyoucrossed.blogspot.com/2005/09/what-drag-too-many-snags.html

 

 

 

Wearing Tahari by ASL.

 

 

 

Actor Michael Andrews femulating in the 1987 film Hard Ticket To Paradise.

Second Time

After donning my mother's nylon stockings and high heel shoes and discovering that I was able to emulate the shapely legs of a woman just like the female impersonators of the 82 Club in New York City, I just had to push the envelope further.

The next time I was home free to explore my mother's wardrobe, I repeated my first time, that is, I slipped on a pair of her nylon stockings and high heel shoes.

I was well aware of the options available to women of the early 1960s to keep their nylons up and their seams straight. In my mother's case, she used the garters that were attached to a girdle.

I found her stash of girdles in a drawer of her bureau and had to choose from a variety of styles: open bottom, panty brief, long leg panty, high-waisted panty and high-waisted long-leg panty. I figured I needed all the help I could get, so I selected a high-waisted long-leg panty model.

I unzipped and unclasped the girdle, stepped into it and tugged it up over my legs, hips and waist. When I was finished squeezing into it, I closed its clasps and zipper with some difficulty. When I was done it felt like half of my torso was in the grips of a rubber vise.

After I attended to the nylons - straightening their seams and attaching them to the garters of the girdle - I swung open the closet door, viewed myself in the full-length mirror and concluded that the picture was incomplete.

The girdle had redistributed my "baby fat." As a result, my waist was narrower and my hips were wider, but above the waistband of the girdle, a ring of displaced fat encircled my body and ruined the picture.

I was sure I knew how to fix it --- it was time for my first bra!

My mother had a small selection of bras to choose from and they were all similar in style and size, so I randomly grabbed one and tried to figure out how to put it on.

I struggled unsuccessfully to close the bra's clasps while wearing the bra with its cups in front. So, I slipped the straps off my shoulders, twisted the bra around with the clasps in front of me, closed the clasps, twisted the bra back around, and slipped the straps over my shoulders --- and that’s the way I have been putting on a bra ever since.

After adjusting the straps of the bra, I was astonished that my breasts nearly filled the cups of the bra! My "boy boobs," which were the object of ridicule by my peers, now had a safe place to call "home."

And when I revisited the full-length mirror, the picture was now complete; there was the body of a shapely woman in the mirror's reflection.

 

 

 

Femulator in 1965 street style.

 

 

 

Wearing Romwe.

First Time

When I was 12-years-old, I became fascinated with female impersonation when I noticed weekly thumbnail-sized ads in the New York Daily News for 82 Club. Each ad depicting  a glamorous showgirl accompanied by the caption "Who's No Lady?"

The 82 Club showgirls were female impersonators and I was amazed that a male could emulate a glamorous female! I was so impressed that I began clipping the 82 Club ads out of the newspaper each week and hiding them behind the Washington Senators in the box containing my baseball card collection.

One thing led to another and one afternoon when I was home alone, I went into my parent's bedroom and opened the drawer of my mother's bureau where she stored her nylon stockings. (This was in the days before pantyhose and seamless stockings, so her nylons had seams.)

I carefully slipped a stocking up each of my hairless legs (those were the days!) and straightened the seams. When I was done, I opened my mother's closet door to admire myself in the full-length mirror on the inside of the door.

I liked what I saw: a pair of legs that looked just like a pair of woman's legs! Then I realized that I could do even better.

Inside the closet were stacks of shoeboxes containing my mother's shoes. I carefully looked through the boxes for a pair of high heel pumps. When I found a pair (with a three-inch heel), I slipped them on and revisited the full-length mirror.

Not only did I see a pair of woman's legs in the mirror, but they were now a shapely pair of woman's legs! I proved to myself that that a male really could emulate a female.

I quickly, but carefully removed the shoes and stockings and returned them to their proper place before my family returned home. And I assure you that would not be the last time I would visit my mother's bureau, closet and full-length mirror.

 

 

 

Two 1966 advertisements for the 82 Club.

 

 

 

Wearing Leota.