We All Have Them
Everybody has insecurities – no matter if you’re a CD or not. But today I’d like to talk about my CDing insecurities. Now this could turn out to be a very long post if I were to go through all of them individually. I’ll try to call out the bigger ones.
Before getting to that, let me also say that this is intended to be mostly funny and thought-provoking. I was inspired to write this particular installment by a t-shirt I saw recently. I don’t lose sleep over my insecurities. I hope you don’t either.
Some common ones (so many different insecurities in JJ’s world):
Are my boobs the right size for my body?How about my hips/butt?Is this a good hairstyle for me?Should I try a different hair color?Is my makeup covering what needs to be covered?Do these heels go with the outfit?Is my walk giving me away?
As Bill wrote in Hamlet, “Vanity. thy name is woman.” Actually, that’s not his exact quote, but you get the idea. I know that it applies to my circle of CD friends. I’m certainly vain when presenting as JJ, too. I want to look the absolute best I can and am incapable of passing a mirror without checking out the image.
Let’s talk about proportions. I suspect you’ve seen pictures of CDs that just seem “off.” The boobs are too big or the hips are too skinny to be convincing. At this point, some of you are saying, “But that’s true of women in the real world.” Yes, you are right. You’ll see all kinds of variations on the shape of the female body. But when it comes to my insecurity, it is more about trying not to be one of those out-of-the-norm figures so I can blend in better.
My current anxiety is about my hair. I’ve got two wigs right now, both of a similar shade but different lengths. I think they work ok for me, but I can’t help but wonder if a different color or cut would be better. Of course, GGs experiment with different styles and colors all the time. As a CD, we can do it even easier though with just a change in our wig. So I’ll visit a wig shop at some point. I believe that’s the best way to really see what works for me. I’m also fortunate that one of the wives in my local CD group is a beautician and does a good job trimming wigs. So even if I do decide to go with something different, I can count on her to do the final cutting and shaping.
The Big One
Of course, my biggest insecurity is passing. But having written that, I guess it’s not that bad. Basically I know that I don’t really pass. I’m just fortunate to look presentable and not pose a threat, so it hasn’t been an issue when out. Still, every time I go out anxiety is lurking.
I’m wondering how some of you dear readers think about passing. Are you confident in your feminine presentation? Are there things you think could be better? Do you worry about it when you are out?
I’ll be Back
You can be pretty secure that I’ll be back with more stuff. Comments are welcome either here on the blog or by email to Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com. JJ is always looking for more stuff so let me know what you would like to read about.
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| Wearing ModCloth |
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| Jane enjoys reading Femulate in New Zealand. |
Great stuff as always JJ
ReplyDeleteHi JJ,
ReplyDeleteI’ve much anxiety about life in general, but always get through it by telling myself a different story and pushing on.
You ask about passing, and I must say the bit that has always carried me through is to always assume I do not pass, and always act as though I do. I hope that does not sound confusing, but by assuming you do not pass I mean to never let your guard down. Never waltz into a dressing room or bathroom and assume you are fooling anyone. Never assume whom you meet will automatically treat you as a woman. We must always be on guard.
Acting as though you do pass is about the show of confidence. If you show confidence in yourself and your presentation, even if you do not pass, you are much more likely to be treated as the woman you are. I always worry about passing. I just never let others see I’m worried about it.
Good luck with your new hair love, and do keep us posted! I think a right many women put more effort, and scrutiny, into hair than blokes realize. Getting the best hair you can shows women a lot about you, and also gives a degree of confidence. Even if others catch on that it is a wig, many GGs wear wigs too for many reasons, and showing you put effort into your style, colour, and maintenance still speaks volumes to other women.
Hugs!
Norah
JJ, just what is the definition of "passing?" My personal definition is just blending in. In most cases of being out there, as long as I feel comfortable, I "pass." And, you are being pretty hard on yourself... I've seen you in both modes and I am certain you could walk around a mall and no one would mistake you for being "a guy in a dress!" If anything, you present as an older, classy lady, regardless of what wig or outfit you wear. I can attest that you "passed" quite successfully at the play we went to in Orlando. You've come a long way since I first met you and you're fine! So chillax GF, and just enjoy being JJ!
ReplyDeleteHugs and see you soon! Kathryn
I always read comments from some girls to just do it, nobody cares! I am primarily an in-home girl because that is my comfort zone because femulating is my escape from all problems male. I find myself doing domestic chores that need to be done whether I am en femme or en drab. I am a "dresses only" girl; no pants for me. I do go out for evening drives and strolls just to satisfy that built up yearning. I have found no outlet in my area to meet like-minded individuals and I do not feel comfortable just roaming around for the sake of roaming around. Decades ago my six foot height and 175 pounds was a big draw for women. Now at six foot and 200 pounds I would stand out. Yes, as long as I avoid hostile crowds, probably nobody would make comments, but I would not get anything out of it.
ReplyDelete