I went to a public grammar school and to a Catholic high school. A couple of girls from grammar school made the switch to my Catholic high school (Hi, Deborah and Susan), but not one of the guys did so from the get-go, I had no male friends as a freshman in high school.
How do you make friends in high school? I don’t recall how I did it, but I made a lot of friends and a few are still friends today. One friend, Mike, was a tall, good-looking guy with a great sense of humor. I figured him for a girl-magnet, but I think he was as shy of girls as I was.
By high school, I was aware of transvestites and I was pretty sure I was a member of that club. The terms “crossdresser” and “transgender” were not in use back then. It was either “transvestite” or “transsexual” and I was pretty sure I wasn’t transsexual – at least, I convinced myself that I wasn’t a transsexual.
Anyway, by high school I was very aware of transvestites and always had my trans-radar powered-up in case I had any encounters of the trans-kind. And more than once, my trans-radar switched to full alert by things my friend Mike said – innocent comments, but revealing that like me, Mike was familiar with the territory.
After school, we parted ways, but since we lived in the same town, I would run into him occasionally. One time was a pulling-the-cat-out-of-the-bag moment.
I was in a check-out line at a local discount department store and I noticed Mike and his wife in the next check-out line. As I was about to call out his name and say hello, I noticed what he was purchasing – four or five woman’s dresses. His wife looked unhappy and disinterested and just stood in line watching him unload the dresses from the shopping cart, put them on the check-out conveyor belt and pay for the dresses. She. I did not attempt to speak to him because I did not want to embarrass him in case my trans-radar was correct. And I don’t know if he saw me in the next check-out line.
Since then, I only ran into him at wakes for the passing of mutual acquaintances. And each time, we talked about the good old days, but not a hint about the topic of trans.
And so it goes.
 |
| Wearing Shein |
 |
| David L Lander and Michael McKean femulating on television’s Laverne & Shirley. |
ReplyDelete"The saying goes, 'If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it probably is a duck.' Applying that logic to real life, consider this: how many men do you know who genuinely purchase women's clothing as gifts for their aunts or wives?
Early in my own experience with cross-dressing, I told the saleslady at the wig store that I needed a wig for a play. I strongly suspect she didn't believe me.
Let's think about Halloween for a moment. Certainly, some wives might dress up their husbands in women's clothing for a joke. However, it's fairly easy to distinguish those situations from genuine cross-dressing. The details reveal the truth: the makeup, the hair, the lingerie, the padding, the shaved legs—the effort put into the transformation. Most men who cross-dress on Halloween are, in fact, cross-dressers.
I have a friend who in our 1920s dressed up as a woman for Halloween a lot of effort went into it super macho guy I have picked up little clues over the last 40 years definitely cross-dresser
I recall a conversation at work about pantyhose, specifically regarding 'denier,' which refers to the thickness. My knowledge went far beyond the average person's. I explained the difference between 20 denier and 70 denier , the popularity of tights in Europe, and the introduction of pantyhose in the 1970s. My female coworker gave me a knowing smile and said, 'You sure do know a lot about pantyhose.'
Whoops."
Paula G
Once upon a time I was 6'1" and 175 pounds and wore a size 38 suit. When newly married, if I was buying an outfit for my wife, I had zero angst. Of course, she was 5'2" and 115 pounds and wore a size 34B. No tell tale signs I was a cross-dresser because of the size difference. But, if I was buying for myself, it was a different situation. I remember buying a white Vanity Fair slimming half slip (foundation garment) that I saw in a local newspaper ad from JC Penny. I had to have it. I tore out the ad and used it as a ruse to buy one "for my wife." The saleslady was an older woman who gave me a sneer and proclaimed "She even gave you the ad!" I was not fooling her. Later, I returned and bought it in black and a different saleslady couldn't care less. Once, when I entered a Catherine's store the two salesladies got a horrified look as if space invaders had landed. I knew exactly where I needed to go in the store because I had seen the racks of slips in the window. By that time in my life I had no problem with my self confidence. I bought two Velrose slips (black & white) and the women actually were trembling. It seemed strange because there was an older man in the store attached to his wife who looked totally bored. I found over the years some women were terrified assisting a man buying women's clothing, while others were genuinely helpful and at ease. There were two stores in my area that openly advertised they welcomed cross-dressers. Those women knew cross-dressers' money was as green as cis women. And, so it goes.
ReplyDeleteStana, your story strikes a chord with me, because I have "T-DAR" as well. Despite what we think we know, what we perceive as "trans signals" could just as easily be something else. Therefore, etiquette dictates that we be cautious and don't always assume.
ReplyDeleteI just clicked the link to your "Where's Billy?" post and it's a lovely story. Thank you for sharing that link and this followup post. I think it's something a lot of us can relate to: wanting to have someone to talk honestly with about CD vs not wanting to risk the embarrassment etc. That's why this community is so wonderful!
ReplyDeleteStana dear, wonderful story!
ReplyDeleteHave you come out to your friend? You have come out to do many, why not reveal Stana? It may prompt him to open up if there is something to this, but is not calling anything out either.
This has been discussed before here, but I bet a right many more men dabble in female clothing than we know, even if it does not go into full dressing.
Norah
I ran in to a contractor that I worked at a gender group meeting I didn't recognize her at first then she reminded me where I knew her from. It became our secret then. She was in transition at that point. She said her work mates were commenting on her hair growth, Her baldness was filling in and her mates wanted to know why or how she was managing that.
ReplyDeleteWhenever I'm in the office, I have my T-dar programmed to detect the clues of others who may also be underdressing: feminine panty lines, adjusting hosiery beneath pants, a sparkle of tan nylon above a sock...
ReplyDelete