Note that this attack occurred in Minnesota, a “trans refuge” state. It also occurred in November, weeks before the new administration passed down its anti-trans edicts. If our haters were so emboldened back in November, can you imagine how emboldened they feel now!
With all that in mind, my advice would be no different whether you live in a blue state or red state. If you go out, you should be very particular about where you go. If you have gone out in the past, you know which locations are safer than others, but these days, there are no guarantees regarding safety. Even a church isn’t safe with all those transphobic Christian evangelists lurking about.
I guess the closet is a safe bet, but who wants to go back there?
To tell you the truth, in all my days en femme among civilians in both blue and red states, I have never encountered a situation where I feared my safety. The worst cases were someone pointing or laughing at me and I can count those events on one hand. So despite this sad new world we live in, I still feel emboldened to go out en femme and enjoy my life as I see fit.
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| Wearing Ann Taylor |
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| Ian Mcculloch femulating in the music video for Echo & The Bunnymen’s “Seven Seas.” Click here to view the video on YouTube. |
Honestly, things may have changed, but the ground rules are still the same. Be Careful. Or, more importantly, Don't Be Stupid. For example, walking into a country bar en femme has NEVER been a smart move.
ReplyDeleteFunny story. I had arranged to meet some cisgender girlfriends at a wine bar. It turned out to be closed and I had to change venues at the last minute. The only available place was a C&W bar around the corner. I rushed over and talked to the hostess about seating outdoors (it was summer). I was a tad worried, but it ended up working out perfectly (and I was addressed correctly by all).
DeleteCool! A perfect example of "Never say never".
DeleteIt is a scary world for us these days but I still refuse to let the haters chase me back into the closet. The situation calls for being more vigilant and choosing where you go very carefully. Out and about while en femme, I have always been hyper-aware of my surroundings anyway, and I think that will continue to serve me well.
ReplyDeleteWhile this story is sad, one must remember that things like this happen daily to non trans people as well. Perhaps motives are different, but being attacked is being attacked no matter what the perpetrator's motives are. Even if we are not spotted as femulators, women in general are always more likely to be victims.
ReplyDeleteReading the article my one question is why these two would confront the group yelling at them? Groups of people yelling at others is never a safe situation, and they are usually spoiling for a fight, so confronting them is giving them what they want. Even if the law is on your side, or you are in a trans friendly state or city, that does little good in the moment, in a secluded park or crowded subway station. Confronting a nasty comment by a single person in a store is much different than a group, as psychologically the larger the group, the more the perception is that they can get away with bad behaviour.
It may not be the most righteous act, but if in a situation where a group is shouting obscenities at you, or looking for an altercation, just walk away if possible. This goes even if you are not en femme as well.
Norah
Good Advise Norah -- Paula G
DeleteBefore transgender issues became so political, cross-dressing was often seen as just being a bit odd. People might have thought you were an odd woman, but it wasn't usually a big deal. It felt safer because you weren't as much of a target for discrimination or hate. Paula G
Deletecarry a weapon
ReplyDeleteAlways!
DeleteThe social climate being fostered by top GOP and social media is conducive to all forms of attack. Crossdressers have always been a target though it was starting to improve. Still very grateful I live in California.
ReplyDeleteOne thing to consider with these sorts of confrontations is to remember "group behavior." In most cases an individual ends up participating in a group when he or she would not do so as an individual. Also, it has always been said "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never harm me!" That being said, if someone persists and wants to elevate name calling into a physical alteration I would recommend falling back on your Second Amendment rights.
ReplyDeleteToday’s subject is a reminder of how dark and sombre this world can be, but the sight of a femulating Ian McCulloch has brought some dazzling light into it.
ReplyDeleteI live in the south where free-range MAGA people roam. But, I've not had any problems. I have only been laughed at openly once when out as a man in a skirt. I have seen a two quiet snickers in recent years. Long ago, when it was more unheard of, people would cover their mouth, duck out of sight, and then return a moment later with a friend to get a look.
ReplyDeleteI have only been out in public a few times since Inauguration, but I have not seen any obvious change in how people treat me.
I go out as a man in a skirt (for those who do not know me).
Joey