What to wear?
I’ve been out in public for a few years now, but I still feel like a total newbie. As I keep going out, I still struggle to figure out what to wear for different occasions. How do you decide how fancy to dress?
Most women have got this down pat because they do it over and over again. For them, it is just a part of getting ready to go out. So, how does a CD learn to do this? Pretty much the same way women do.
Consult
Sometimes women will be in a quandary about what to wear. What do they do? They ask their friends what they are wearing. I’ve found this works for me as well. I sometimes check with my GG friend Alicia or my CD friends as to what they are going to wear. A couple of recent examples.
Holiday Dinner
Our group had a holiday party at a local casual chain restaurant. For me, it was a battle between dressing up super fancy or going with the usual jeans and a simple top that you see women usually wear at this kind of place. JJ, being the fashionista that she is, leans towards going all out for these occasions. But then again, when out in public, JJ prefers to blend in rather than stand out. I asked Alicia what to wear and guess how she responded? Jeans, a top and flats. That’s pretty much what I ended up going with, too!
Seeing a Play
A bit more complex situation was when some of us went to a local theater to see the play Some Like It Hot. I’ve been to this venue before, but only in guy mode. The venue is very much a “See and be seen” kind of place. As a good CD, I did observe what the women were wearing. Unfortunately (?) there was a huge range of styles. Some very casual. Some very dressy. What should JJ wear? As I noted above, I tend to dress to blend in. But what does that mean for this event? You guessed it, I checked with my GG and my CD friends before deciding. In the end, I went with a very holiday dressy outfit.
I’ll Be Back
I’ll be back with more Stuff in the next installment. Comments are welcome either here on the blog or by email to Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com. JJ is always looking for more stuff so let me know what you would like to read about.
 |
Wearing Cole Haan |
 |
| Deepak Subramanya femulating in a 2024 Indian film Mr. Rani. |
Hi JJ!
ReplyDeleteGreat topic love, and one I can say that has no formal rules. For what my limited experience is worth, a few things I have found useful….
1. Women in groups tend to dress alike. You seldom see one in a LBD and the rest in jeans.
2. Time of day matters as much as location. My symphony outing may have been similar to your theater outing. I was on the higher end of dressiness, but not out of place…….for the night show. I learned that the afternoon show was more a casual jeans and sweaters deal than the evening.
3. “Dressy Casual” gets you most places. Wear your jeans, but with a fancier top, heels, and/or a jacket. You are a bit more formal than your cohorts, but still blend quite nicely, weekend or weekday.
4. Stana and Paula G. have never left me feeling out of place. Go dressy in a business manner. People assume you just came from work. Even if your mates are in jeans, you are just the girl who worked late and met them at Applebee’s. Even if I stand out as the best dressed girl at the mall on a Wednesday evening, it still fits in and does not look weird.
I hope this is helpful, and above all, wear something you feel confident in. I think that matters more than anything.
Hugs,
Norah
Thanks for the comments girlfriend! You make some really good points. I especially like #1. It's so true. Obviously they all consulted with each other when deciding what to wear.
DeleteThe part about wearing something you feel confident in is also so important. It helps you project the right image. Hugs, JJ
Bang on Norah on all 4 items. I think dressy casual gives us a chance to feel more femme because a nice silk blouse, some nice jewelry and platform heels can elevate the jeans look. We talking clean, smart jeans not your boy mode mechanic jeans all torn and oily. A nice jacket and bingo we feel fantastic and feminine not all drubby. I am forever dressy casual (but no jeans )or business chic and never really dream of gala wear with puffy shirts. Mode 4 was my intent to pop into a Target or Kroger on my way home from work to pick up a few things. If I felt too anxious then I would grab something near the cash register and pay and get out fast but if I felt totally safe then I would take my time and check out various aisles. This worked well for me as I present myself this way and so far it seems I am accepted this way as well. I love Paula,s corporate look. I study fashion and women so I do know what to wear but its been a sad decline to frumpyness. I guess all the money saved not buying pantyhose pays for Ubereats but its strange they stopped shaving their legs and we continue to do so. What can you do you know?
DeleteHugs Brenda
Hi Norah, did we both randomly and simultaneously choose Applebee's in our comments? If so, I think that's a sign for us to put on some fancy clothes and get together for margarita Monday! If that's not a thing, then it should be🍹
DeleteAny time Elise! I'll match whatever you want to wear out. I'm not sure if they've drink themed nights of the week, but I do know before and after certain hours, appetizers are half price! : )
DeleteNorah
Happy new year JJ! Quite the dilemma in this stuff article. One of my favorite hobbies is to imagine what enfemme outfit I would wear during every event in my life, and I invariably end up erring on the side of way too dressy (note to self: not every event requires heels and hose). I'm glad you were able to find the restraint to be a little more casual at dinner! I could see myself being the woman who shows up at Applebee's like she's going to the prom haha
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year Elise. I'm happy I'm not the only one of us that thinks long and hard about what to wear. JJ's outings are typically once a month and I find myself thinking about the next event right after the current one. What can I do better? What looks good? That kind of thing. And yes, I also think about what I would wear to some other special spot if I was there in girl mode. JJ
DeleteI'm still a stay-at- home CD so I can't provide any real world advice for dressing enfemme out there, but whenever I underdress, I try to wear my sexiest panties and hose (or maybe even a garter belt and stockings) under my drab clothes. Even if no one else sees it, at least I feel extra pretty;)
ReplyDeleteOtherwise, I think the advice posted from the other ladies so far seems to be very helpful!
I have zero problem being the best dressed for anything. My city is notoriously sloppy and homogenous when it comes to style and if I ever had to match it I simply wouldn’t bother. The symphony/theatre/opera = dressy as I want. Yesterday I took a book for an hour to a coffee shop and wore a chic skirt with navy blue tights. You can dress up or down but my mantra is always look amazing. The idea that you can’t wear a skirt and be casual is bonkers.
ReplyDelete