My Lips (And Yours)

To do my lips, I use a lip liner to define the outer edges of my lips, then I fill inside the lip lines with a lip color using a lipstick brush.



Lip color is like eye color, that is, some colors suit me that may not suit you and vice versa, so experiment to see what looks best. Whatever color you choose, the color of your lip liner should be just a few shades darker than your lip color unless you are going for a drag queen look, in which case your lip liner should be many, many shades darker than your lip color. 

Most of the lip liners and lip colors I use are from Avon. I have two shades of a lipstick that Avon discontinued that I love and usually wear these days because the results have a glossy finish without using lip gloss.



My lip process:

1) I use a well-sharpened lip liner pencil to apply lip liner to my upper and lower lips. In either case, I start the line at the middle of the lip and work outwards to the end of the lip line following the curve of my natural lip line.

 If you have thin lips like I do, you can make them look bigger by applying the lip liner slightly outside the natural lip line, but don’t go overboard because you can end up with clown-like lips.



2) To apply lip color, I use a lipstick brush to fill in my lips between the lip liner. A brush provides better coverage where you want the color and avoids putting color where you don't want it, which can occur if you apply lip color directly from a lipstick tube.



3) I close my mouth on a piece of tissue paper to remove any excess.



4) I apply a light coat of translucent powder on my lips. This will hold the color you reapply for a longer period of time.



5) I usually reapply or touch up my lip liner.



6) I reapply my lip color.



7) Sometimes I apply a clear lip gloss over the lip color.

8) Smile!

Wearing ModCloth

Trevor Moore and Darren Trumeter femulating in television’s The Whitest Kids U’Know.

The Big Small Thing

By Monika Kowalska

We’ve been pen pals with Stana for a while now and I absolutely love her blog. I’m always curious about the fashionable pictures she posts, knowing her fantastic style and taste. Her blog stories are also so inspiring – they help me realize more about myself and my own journey. I had the pleasure of interviewing Stana for my blog, Heroines of My Life, and she shared such eloquent insights about her life and self-discovery. After that, we thought it would be fun to flip the script – this time, I’d be the one sharing my thoughts for Stana’s blog. As we discussed what might interest you, I applied an elimination strategy to decide what to leave out.

I am a transgender woman and yes, I’ve gone through all the stages on my long road to womanhood: hormone replacement therapy, facial feminization surgery and gender-affirming surgery. But I won’t focus on those. They were challenging, expensive and impacted my social life, including losing friends, some family members and even a job. I won’t dwell on them because honestly, they’re not what I think will interest you most.

I’ll touch on one small thing, which is actually quite big that I’ve experienced living as a woman for almost 15 years. Do you know that women talk in the bathroom? You’ve probably wondered why girls always seem to go to the bathroom in groups or pairs. What exactly are we doing in there? It’s a bit of a mystery, but it might be useful for some of you who find yourselves in ladies’ restrooms when out en femme. Of course, with dark clouds looming and the risks increasing, especially for those in the USA, it might not be safe to do so anymore.

So why do we go to the bathroom in pairs? The most practical answer is that there’s almost always a line for the women’s bathroom, especially at crowded places like bars or restaurants. This was something I noticed right away. Back in my first miserable part of life in ‘man mode,’ when I had to pee, it was quick. But now, when I feel the urge, even under pressure, I have to hold it in because there are always a couple of ladies ahead of me. So to kill time, it’s always helpful to have a friend to chat with. Waiting in line alone can be boring, so bringing someone along makes it more bearable. Plus, some of my friends feel awkward waiting by themselves, so I often go with them to keep them company.

Guys are raised with a set of unspoken bathroom rules like avoiding eye contact with other guys and keeping conversations to a minimum. They’re basically discouraged from forming the same kind of camaraderie that women share in public restrooms. It's important to keep this in mind. So, is the women’s bathroom a prime spot for girl talk? I would say, “Probably yes,” but I’d have a hard time specifying the exact topics. What we actually talk about in there can vary. It could be anything from light chit-chat to more intimate conversations, like seeking or offering emotional support. I’ve always tried to be very rational about men and relationships, so my best friends rely on me to help them untangle the most complicated issues. And I must say, some of those talks definitely happened in the bathroom.

I’ve always preferred sitting to pee, even before my surgery. I never liked those bars with ‘crying walls’ where urine flows from one wall to the urine outlet. I detested them. In public restrooms, I used to avoid sitting on the toilet for hygiene reasons, but after my surgery, that wasn’t an option anymore. 

Public bathrooms can be terrifying, especially when they aren’t cleaned regularly. I’ve tried to figure out how to avoid touching the toilet seat. Women have long searched for ways to avoid sitting and now there are funnel-like devices called Personal Urination Devices or Female Urinary Devices that let us stand while peeing. But these are not always available, so I had to rely on the tips from real experts: my cis-female friends.

Following their kind support, I must say that I'm a fan of the squat/hover method. For the least messy results, I place my feet wider than hip-width apart to create a stable base. Then I lean slightly forward and hover over the seat. I also find it helpful to balance my hands or elbows on my thighs while leaning forward to avoid wobbling. I’ve been working on strengthening my thighs, too. The stronger my legs, the easier the squat becomes. It’s like going to the gym everyday, but without the membership fee!

When I use a public restroom, I always keep my outfit in mind. I try to avoid wearing trousers when I go out because some clothes are easier to manage in a dirty restroom. Ideally, I'd wear a skirt without underwear to make hovering easier, but that's not always realistic. When I wear something more complicated like a jumper, I make sure to roll down the top and gather the wide legs to keep them off the floor. Then I carefully back up into a hover position over the toilet. With shorts or pants, I only lower them as much as needed to keep them off the ground and practice balancing with them around my knees.

Is there another reason we instinctively pair up or group together? I’d say it’s because there’s safety in numbers, especially when we're in unfamiliar or crowded places. It’s just easier to navigate the crowd and look out for each other. Getting hit on or approached by a random person in public can be awkward and even scary, especially for me. While I’m reasonably passable and don’t usually get clocked unless I reveal that I’m trans, it’s still something I have to be aware of.

And finally, we hit the bathroom together to freshen up – whether it’s fixing our hair, touching up our makeup or adjusting our clothes – especially at a club where we’re dancing and sweating. We might reapply makeup, borrow each other’s lipstick or hairspray (I am not a fan of lending my lipstick – sorry to my female friends for spelling that out) or ask for opinions on our outfits or hair before heading back out. 

A lot of cis women also prefer not to discuss their periods in front of guys or people they don’t know well. When that time of the month strikes and a woman realizes she doesn’t have a tampon or pad, the solution is simple: grab a friend and head to the bathroom to borrow one. For obvious reasons, I don’t have periods (though I kind of wish I did, even though my best cis friend keeps telling me I’m lucky), but I always keep an extra tampon or pad on hand for situations like that. In fact, I’ve even been asked by my best friend, who knows I don’t need them, to share one! She was probably so desperate that she forgot I’m trans.

To wrap this up, I’ll leave you with this: The women’s bathroom is truly a magical place where we bond, share secrets, and sometimes even lend out our emergency tampons. It’s a world of its own, filled with laughter and support. So next time you find yourself in a public restroom, whether you’re queuing for a bathroom or nervously hoping you don’t spill your pee, just remember, we’ve got each other’s backs... even if we have to squat, hover and chat through the whole ordeal. 

Monika has been interviewing trans people in her blog, The Heroines of My Life, for over 12 years. Click here to see who she has interviewed lately.

Wearing Alice + Olivia

Mark McKinney femulating on television’s The Kids in the Hall.

Damsel to the Rescue!

By Norah Blucher

Recently I wrote about my friend Tiffany who was in a car crash en femme, which sparked a lot of lively conversations about being helped and treated like a lady during mishaps in life while en femme. Stana herself had a few stories about being helped with a car issue by some chaps in a parking lot and wrote about being a damsel in distress. And was treated kindly by a police officer who showed her where to go at a conference. 

It was never lost on me though, that we are probably one of the most capable groups of girls out there! Here on the blog and femulators I know elsewhere, often have military experience, work trades and have a number of very non-girly hobbies and skills, myself included. The validation of being helped is nice, especially if someone changes your tire while you are dressed to the nines and anyone should appreciate some assistance no matter how they are presenting, though I bet many of us could get out of a jam on our own, if need be, capable modern girls we are.

I knew my day would eventually come and I was surprised it had not already. My car currently screams down the highway like a Stuka after a Russian tank. Turning up the volume on Kesha tracks has mitigated the issue so far, but I have scheduled a service, LOL. Little did I know however that car trouble was on the horizon for me and it would not even involve my car!

The Long Way Home

I was recently heading home after an extended trip, had just enjoyed a nice dinner with an old friend, who got to meet Norah for the first time and was ecstatic about sleeping in my own bed for the first time in over a week. Knackered as I was though, I still had one more task to check off my list. Groceries! I knew I had little food at home and though it was frigid and late, at 8:45 on a Wednesday evening, I found myself grocery shopping.

The store was mostly deserted and I noted almost all of the few other shoppers were rather strange appearing males. Though maybe they found the blonde femulator odd in her cashmere sweater, pencil skirt, fur-trimmed coat and 3.5-inch heeled boots clicking down the aisles like Zsa Zsa Gabor, LOL. Truth be told, I was not paying much attention to anyone, nor they to me.

My one brief interaction involved a bloke who was attempting to go down the same exit lane as me from the self-service kiosks at the check-out. We got there at the same time and I stopped. He waved me through. I guess I hesitated, so when I went to push my trolley through, he went to walk past and we both stopped. We played “Who goes first?” another round or two before I finally went by. He appeared a rough, hardworking fellow in well-worn clothes, but gave me a kind smile as I walked past and I thanked him.

Turn Me On Lady!

I made my way out to the parking lot and was loading my groceries into car when I heard a commotion behind me. Turning around I saw the bloke who had let me pass by at the check-out, propping up the bonnet of his car, phone in hand, telling someone on the other end that the car was dead. I watched for a moment, before he noticed me. Our eyes locked and he asked in a desperate voice, “Can you give me a jump?”

I froze for a second. Part of it was realizing I’m not a particularly imposing looking woman in a rather vacant parking lot with a bloke calling after me for help. I was also partly wondering if I’d have to empty my entire boot to get the jumper cables next to the spare or if he might have some. It was just a second though and I suddenly realized I had just the ticket and called out I had a booster pack and would be right over!

Entering my car, I retrieved the little HALO booster pack under my seat, placed my phone and keys from my purse in my pocket and locked my purse in the car. 

I began to get everything out of the little bag when suddenly this bloke came over to me to watch what I was doing. (Note to your males selves, in this type of situation, let the girl come to you! It was a bit unnerving.) 

Looking back, I think he was just curious what I was doing, or perhaps thought I needed male assistance with a car thing. I made some conversation as I assembled the cables onto the battery and asked how long the car was sitting. He replied it had just been while he was in the store a short time. I assured him these things happened and I had the little booster as I’ve gotten to my car in airport parking lots to find I left a light on or something and it was dead when I returned.

Anyway, booster in hand I waltzed over to his car and placed my head under the bonnet looking for the battery, when he suddenly illuminated it with the torch on his phone and noted which terminal was which. I guessed he noticed I was a blonde and needed to be told such things, LOL.

He got back in the car and when the light on the booster turned green I told him to give it a try. The car struggled for a second and then roared to life! I unhooked the cables and he got back out and gave me a sincere, but somewhat embarrassed, “Thank you so much.” 

I told him it was no problem and went back to my car and we went our separate ways into the night.

After Thoughts

Though unexpected and mildly unnerving, I felt good having helped someone in need. If the tables were turned and I was stranded in a parking lot on a frigid night, I would hope someone would help me, too. I am always touting that we are our own best advocates as well and I’ve no idea if he liked our type, thinks were are dreadful heathens or has not ever thought about us much at all. Perhaps he had no idea what I was even and I passed the whole time and he was floored that this well-heeled damsel could jump a car without assistance. But if not though, I hope he remembers the kind femulator who helped him.

So loves, that was certainly an unexpected encounter, but I’d like to know if you have ever found yourself in this tables turned situation or ever surprised someone with something you knew as a girl. Questions or comments are welcome below or you can email me at nblucher at-sign proton dot me.

Wearing Ann Taylor

John Davidson femulating on a 1974 episode of television's The Streets of San Francisco.

A Woman’s Work is Never Done

The “female Impersonator” in the film Woman on the Run.

Part of my housewife duties is to shop for groceries. Usually I shop at Aldi first and then proceed to Stop & Shop to buy items that Aldi did not stock. Grocery shopping yesterday, I bought a dozen eggs for $5.09 at Aldi. At Stop & Shop, I noticed that the price for a dozen eggs was a trumpian $9.19! Yikes!

While on the subject of housewifery, here is a recipe you might want to file away:

1/2 cup of baking soda, followed by...

1 cup of vinegar, followed by...

Mass quantities of boiling water

That's the recipe for clearing out a blocked sink drain. Last week, my kitchen sink drain froze up due to the sub-freezing weather we have experienced here in January. Washing dishes in the bathroom sink got old fast, so I found this recipe on the Internet and it cleared the drain in less than five minutes!

And yes, I always wear panties in housewife mode, which is 24/7. As they say, a woman’s work is never done.

👠 👠 👠

I have become a fan of film noir and usually catch the weekly film noir showings on TCM. Saturday morning TCM showed Woman on the Run, a potboiler starring Ann Sheridan and Dennis O'Keefe. In the film, the police are following Ann to find out where her murder suspect husband is hiding out.

Initially the police assign a male detective to follow Ann, but after Ann realizes she is being followed by the male detective, the police switch to a female impersonator to follow her. The female impersonator passed with flying colors (photo above), but Ann figured her for just another detective following her.

I suspect that the actor playing the female impersonator was cis female, but I was unable to find who played the part. By the way, you can view the film on Internet Archive.

👠 👠 👠

In yesterday's post, JJ made some excellent points about posing for photographs. If you would like to read more on the topic, click here to read a post I wrote about self-photograpy.

Wearing Elágia

Jack Benny femulating in the 1941 film Charley’s Aunt.

Stuff 56: Posing

By J.J. Atwell

Good Pictures are Important

I think that the second biggest interest of CDs, after the clothing, is having pictures of our girl self. That certainly describes me. I’ve got quite a collection of JJ’s pictures, mostly a simple pose, to document my look at the time. For that purpose a simple pose against a plain wall is all I need. But does it really show my girl self? Thinking about all the pictures I see of women, I notice that is not how they pose in most photos. They seem to have found the right pose to really give their best look. Time to find what works for us. 

Unique Poses

There was recently a story on NPR that gave some good tips about how best to pose. Although directed at women, especially young women, this might be of interest for your CDing pictures. Check out this link for their suggestions.

Yes, those are a bit over the top to my eyes. But it does make some good points. Instead of a static pose with your arms at your side and legs together, how about loosening up a bit? Use you hands to gesture or point. Look like you are doing something besides just standing there. Turn to the side or twist your body. Look at the camera or at a particular object. Be animated. And above all, smile. 

Be Yourself

A tough one to convey when posing for the camera – think about your image. Are you just standing there to document the outfit? Or is the picture showing you out and about actually doing something? If it is just documentation, you can still have fun with it. Stretch your arms out or put one hand on your hip. Turn one foot to the side to show off those shoes. 

Adding little touches like that still serves the purpose of documenting the picture, but it also adds interest. It makes you look like you are having fun, not just trying on clothes. Show off those curves you worked (shopped) so hard to add.

I’ll Be Back

I’ll be back with more Stuff in the next installment. Comments are welcome either here on the blog or by email to Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com. JJ is always looking for more stuff so let me know what you would like to read about.

Wearing Shein

Alan Sues femulating on television’s Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In.

Someday Funnies

 

Saturday Funnies

Wearing Cynthia Rowley

Kevin McDonald, Dave Foley and Scott Thompson femulating on television's The Kids in the Hall.

Friday Femulations

 

Wearing ShuShu/Tong

Liev Schreiber femulating in the 1994 film Mixed Nuts.

Thor's Day

Wearing Mac Duggal

Darren Trumeter femulating on television’s The Whitest Kids U'Know.

Hello Brenda

By Brenda

Here's a heartfelt coming-of-age story about Brenda's first time stepping out into the world, exploring themes of self-discovery, courage and the joy of embracing one's identity. I found a reasonable day rate at a motel that would allow me to pack my clothes and choose my shoes before the transformation. I also had a way to change afterwards before heading home.

Brenda stood in front of the mirror, her heart racing. Her reflection was dazzling—soft curls framed her face, courtesy of the wig she'd spent hours selecting with the help of a professional makeover stylist. The reddish tones perfectly complemented her fair skin, now evened out by foundation matched to perfection during her makeover. Her makeup was subtle but polished—soft red lips, a gentle sweep of blush, and eyeliner that made her blue eyes pop.

The final touch? Stick-on nails in a delicate French manicure. She wiggled her fingers, marveling at how feminine they made her hands look. It was surreal to see herself like this. For the first time, she wasn’t just trying to look like Brenda. She was Brenda.

The Journey to Confidence

It had taken months of planning and soul-searching to reach this point. Brenda, whose given name was Brian, had always felt at odds with the world when presenting as a man. Dressing in women's clothing had been her private refuge for years, but stepping outside as Brenda was something she had only dared to dream about.

Her turning point came during a late-night scroll through forums where others shared their stories. She found a blog called “Femulate” that offered a lot of information and inspiration. She was not alone in her lifestyle, but she was all alone in getting from A to B. She discovered a local salon that specialized in transformations for crossdressers and transwomen. 

At this point in her life it was time to take the next step. Nervously, she booked an appointment. The day of the makeover had been a whirlwind of emotions—excitement mixed with anxiety. The stylist (who was trans) had been warm and encouraging, guiding her through wig selection, makeup techniques and even posture tips to carry herself with confidence.

Brenda had learned so much that day. The importance of choosing a wig that matched her face shape, how to blend foundation for a natural finish and the small details—like stick-on nails and the right accessories—that could elevate her look. Each step felt like shedding layers of fear and self-doubt.

First Steps into the World

Now here she was, standing on the brink of her first venture out. Her mission was simple: mail some letters, withdraw cash from the ATM, do a bit of shopping and visit the library. Everyday typical “Out and About” errands for a middle-aged woman, but they felt monumental.

As she stepped outside, the cold January air nipped at her skin. She pulled her coat tighter and took a deep breath. The sound of her heeled boots clicking on the pavement was exhilarating. Her heart pounded as she approached the mailbox. She half-expected someone to call her out—“Hey, that's a man!”—but the world continued to move around her, indifferent to her presence.

She slid the letters into the slot, her hands trembling slightly. One errand down. She exhaled, feeling a small surge of pride. Maybe she could do this after all.

Navigating Fear and Joy

The ATM was next. Brenda approached cautiously, feeling hyper-aware of every movement. She worried someone might scrutinize her too closely, notice her Adam's apple or detect her voice if she spoke. But no one paid her much attention. When the machine whirred and dispensed her cash, she let out a quiet sigh of relief.

Her next stop was a large thrift store. A sales associate greeted her with a friendly smile, saying, “Let me know if you need help with anything.” It felt like validation—she was just another customer, just another woman shopping for clothes.

She browsed carefully, her fingers brushing against fabrics. She chose a scarf in a soft animal print, pleased with her selection. She was not ready for anything needing a change room, maybe next time. At the checkout, the cashier complimented her choice. Brenda felt a warmth spread through her chest. For the first time she wasn’t afraid of being read—she was simply herself.

Identity Calmness

Her final stop was the library. She loved the quiet sanctuary it offered and today was no different. She browsed the shelves, picked out a novel she’d been meaning to read and settled into a cozy corner. For the first time, she felt a profound sense of calmness. There was no performance, no pretending. Brenda was simply enjoying a moment as Brenda.

The fear of being caught or judged was still there, but it was overshadowed by something greater—exhilaration. Being seen as her true self was not just liberating, it was affirming. Each smile she received, each polite interaction, was like a small piece of armor, building her confidence.

Reflections on the Way Home

As Brenda walked to her car with her scarf tucked neatly into her coat and her library book in hand, she marveled at the journey she had taken. There had been moments of fear, but they were fleeting. The joy of living authentically far outweighed the risks.

Brenda was so in tune with being herself she stopped at Starbucks and walked in to order a coffee and in her best womanly voice ordered a double espresso and when asked her name she proudly stated “It’s Brenda.” It was years later upon reflection that she realized when she went into the coffee shop, she felt totally at ease, totally herself, not trapped in any way.

For the first time in her life, Brenda felt at peace. She had crossed a threshold, proving to herself that she could step out into the world and be seen—not as Brian, but as Brenda. And that was a feeling she knew she would carry with her forever.

This day wasn’t just an outing; it was a rite of passage. Brenda had stepped out of the shadows of fear and self-doubt and into the light of authenticity. She was no longer hiding—she was living.

This was a HUGE step for me and it really took the makeover to not just teach me how to do my makeup and stuff, but also give me the confidence to venture out, all alone in the world. This blog has really given me some solid knowledge on how to be better. I still have a lot to learn to get to Master Class and 10, 000 hours, but I cherish every moment along the way.

Wearing Zimmermann

Tim Conway femulating on television’s The Carol Burnett Show.