Remembering Tapestry

By Paula Gaikowski (paula.gaikowski@gmail.com)

One of the greatest strengths of Femulate is the sense of community it’s created. For many of us, it’s a daily gathering place where we can check in with one another, offer support and share our experiences. It’s a space where we can be vulnerable, share our struggles and celebrate our successes. Just like any neighborhood, we may have our disagreements, but we also have a deep sense of camaraderie and look out for one another.

Being part of this community is like being at home. It’s a feeling of comfort, acceptance, and belonging. I often start my day by checking the blog and it’s always reassuring to know that I’m part of a space where I can be my authentic self. This blog has created a haven for us, a place where we can be ourselves without fear of judgment or rejection. That’s what makes it so special.

Back in the 1970’s and 80’s, being a transgender felt incredibly isolating. One of the few ways I felt connected to others like me was through media. I remember writing an article for Femulate about the 80’s talk shows that featured transgender women and crossdressers. Seeing myself represented on television, albeit in a limited and sometimes stereotypical way, gave me the sense that I wasn’t alone.

To find more information and connect with others, I would sometimes visit an adult bookstore in Passaic, New Jersey. This derelict place with its peeling paint, flickering lights and seedy clientele, exuded a sense of decay and despair. This was all that was available. I would buy magazines that catered to “transvestites,” which would feature articles and pictures of persons who had transitioned or crossdressed. Although I may not have known much about these individuals, seeing their faces and reading about their experiences gave me hope and a sense of connection.

One magazine stood out from the others: Tapestry, published by the International Foundation for Gender Education in Waltham, Massachusetts. While it covered important topics like transgender rights and transitioning in the workplace, what truly resonated with me was the personal ads section in the back. Trans cross-dressers and transgender women would share brief stories about themselves, creating a sense of intimacy and vulnerability.

The profiles I discovered were striking – professional women, dressed to impress, with high heels, makeup, pantyhose and dresses. They were the epitome of 1980’s office attire. But what struck me most was that they were living their lives in secret, hiding their true identities behind a veil of femininity. They didn’t identify as fetishists or seeking hookups. They were simply trying to connect with others like themselves. I want to know more about these persons if anyone knows, recognizes or is one of these persons please share. [Stana was one of those persons. - Ed.]

Using the term “transvestite” was the norm at the time and I remember seeing it in print. These individuals were hiding their true selves, often behind post office boxes or pseudonyms, due to the overwhelming taboo surrounding transgender identities. But what was clear from these profiles was that I wasn’t alone. There were others across the country, living similar lives, struggling with similar feelings of isolation and longing for connection.

Tapestry magazine was a lifeline for me, providing a platform for these individuals to share their stories and find community. I would eagerly look forward to each new issue, feeling a sense of connection to these strangers who had become like neighbors to me. Little did I know, the Internet was on the horizon, about to disrupt the lives of these individuals and others like me, eventually giving rise to Femulate, a haven for transgender persons to find sisterhood and community.

Wearing Paige

Our Gang/Little Rascals ballet femulation

(Top) Spanky (George McFarland) and Alfalfa (Carl Switzer) in a 1937 Our Gang comedy titled Rushin’ Ballet.

(Bottom) Alfalfa (Bug Hall) and Spanky (Travis Tedford) in the 1994 film The Little Rascals.

(Click here to view both femulations on YouTube.)