Attending Hamvention in 2012 was my third time doing it en femme, so I was still getting used to mixing with a crowd of civilians that was predominantly male.
Friday morning of Hamvention, I went to the hotel restaurant for breakfast. There I met another board member and his wife, who I had not seen since the previous Hamvention a year earlier, so we hugged and caught up on the past year.
While I was eating and chatting, I noticed a group of guys at the next table checking me out. Finally, one of the guys got up and came to our table, excused himself and asked me, “Did you ever live in Annapolis?”
“No, I've never been in Annapolis, why do you ask?”
“You look just like the sister of a friend of mine from Annapolis. Sorry to bother you.”
“No problem.”
That was an auspicious way to start the day!
That evening was my group’s annual banquet. Arriving at the banquet hall to get the show on the road, some attendees (about 20) were already in attendance, so we needed to collect their tickets. While another board member manned the entrance to collect tickets from new arrivals, I volunteered to collect tickets from those already in attendance. Almost all of them were strangers and it was a very telling experience.
Most of the board members (all guys) have known me for 10 years or more. They call me by my femme name most of the time, flub pronouns some of the time and still treat me “like one of the guys” all of the time.
So there I am en femme decked out in a dress and peep-toe slingback 4-inch heels (see photo) collecting tickets from 20 strangers – almost all of them were male and they most definitely did not treat me like “one of the guys.” Instead, they were very polite and respectful and some of them were actually very cute in the way they interacted with me. They also got the pronouns right. I don't think I ever felt more womanly than I did when I collected the tickets.
After that experience, I became more aware of how strangers interacted with me during Hamvention. In general, woman smiled that smile which indicates that they acknowledge you as a member of their club. And men were overly polite. It became obvious that they thought I was a woman and not one of the guys.
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| Wearing Venus |
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| Pretty Christine |
I know this out of left field but when I was a kid I had a Fisher Price toy record player and there was one disc that was the exact shade of green as your bolero (one side played Camptown Races, can’t remember what the other side was). Merry Christmas!
ReplyDeleteI remember reading an article about Madame Curie a while back. In the article, they wrote how she was recognized as a woman who became one of the leading women scientists of her time. The way they phrased that – “recognized as a woman” – resonated with me.
ReplyDeleteIt also made me think of a time when my wife and I were going somewhere to run errands. She was wearing a flannel shirt and jeans and decided to change into something more feminine. Then, she said something to the effect of, “Well, now I look like a girl. People will see me as a girl.” This made me realize how important it is to be recognized as our true selves. We just want that part of ourselves to be recognized and accepted. When that happens, whether it’s just a “ma’am,” a gentle smile from another woman, or a door held open, it brings about a euphoric feeling. Paula G
Lately I've been trying to change "treat people how you would want to be treated" to "treat people how they would want to be treated." I think your story is a great example of the subtle but impactful change to that common phrase.
ReplyDeleteHi Stana. I think I was able to see you at your first Dayton outing. Can't recall exactly what years I've been there. Planning on hitting it again in 2025. JJ
ReplyDeleteFirst time I did Hamvention en femme was 2010. Previous to that, I calculated that I did Hamvention en homme every 3 out of 4 years starting in 1978. However, during those en homme visits, I spent a few Hamvention evenings en femme exploring Dayton. Dunno about 2025.
DeleteI met Stana at Hamvention and she was a lot taller, than I imagined, wore a short skirt with heels of course, and well if you hadnt known you would totally accept her as female. Stana is a booth babe and you would be smitten by her smile (maybe her long legs are magnetic?) and drawn into her booth. Now, to be fair her breasts got a head start as a teen but her mannerisms are so totally feminine. What struck me later was she was not making any effort to pass because she was being her confident self and naturally being Stana. Maybe she can share how many times she was hit on by guys because she was easily best booth babe of show and she did have competition. I ran into some women I knew on the air but never met and I was like hmmmmmm can I have Stana give you a quick 5 minute makeover? A little makeup, a pony tail, a tighter T-shirt and something other than crocs will bring out your femininity. Honestly, we love women all women and for us gurls we really try harder to be femme and a bit sexy. It saddens me when they dont try and we are obsessed in trying.Hugs Brenda
DeleteThank you for the very kind words, Brenda!
DeleteVery nice experience Stana, thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI knew a GG once who wore mostly dingy, holey clothes, never wore makeup, and never took care of her hair, and then said the world had to take her as she was. Then she would get outraged at being treated like a vagabond. She fixed herself up a few times, usually when her husband would refuse to take her to a more formal event if she did not make some effort, and actually got a lot of attention and was rather pretty. She never saw the connection though.
Norah
Norah, I knew a girl at work that was the slob of the bunch. She just never seemed to bother and really was treated as she presented herself. I found out after one day when I just asked her why she didnt care. She had childhood trauma that held her back. I urged her to see a therapist and after 6 months she had a makeover that really opened up a lot of eyes. she was a knockout but always held a bit of a reserved but very classic style.She was so put together , that in fact I was learning how to dress and accesorize from her. I dont know why but she told me the secret to hot humid days was stockings, silk blouses and lighter make up. Agreed! She also wore a lot of open toed shoes. Yes, I wanted be just like her.Hugs Brenda
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