What do they think of me?

By Paula Gaikowski (paula.gaikowski@gmail.com)

As a transgender woman, I’ve often found myself pondering the thoughts of others, particularly those of other women, when I’m out in public. The simple act of being addressed as “ma’am” or having a door held open for me can bring immense joy and validation. It’s a small gesture that can make a world of difference.

For many transgender women, like myself, the desire to be seen and perceived as a woman is deeply rooted in our identity. While it may not be a priority for everyone, it's a crucial aspect of my own journey. Presenting in a feminine way, whether through clothing, makeup, or other means, has allowed me to express my true self and alleviate the distress I've felt living in a body that didn't align with my gender identity.

As a transgender woman who hasn't transitioned, I've often wondered how others perceive me. While I may “pass” as a woman in certain situations, there are often subtle cues that can reveal my transgender identity. To better understand the thoughts and perceptions of others, I decided to conduct a small experiment. 

Inspired by JJ’s recent Stuff post, I recalled a question I posed on Reddit: What do you think of crossdressers in public? I shared several photos of myself and received a variety of responses.

I posed a question to the askwomen forum with over 40,000 subscribers asking them to share their thoughts. 

The responses to the question about crossdressers in public were largely positive and accepting, reflecting a growing shift towards greater tolerance and understanding of gender diversity. A significant number of women commented that they would have assumed the crossdresser was a cisgender woman, demonstrating a growing acceptance of gender fluidity. Some even found it refreshing or inspiring to see someone expressing their individuality.

Several comments highlighted concerns about safety, particularly in areas where crossdressing might be met with hostility. There were also a few instances where women admitted to briefly noticing or judging the crossdresser's outfit, but these were generally mild and not malicious.

While a small minority of respondents expressed discomfort or disapproval, their comments were often overshadowed by the overwhelming positivity of the rest of the forum. Many women praised the crossdresser's confidence and courage and expressed a desire for greater acceptance of gender nonconformity in society.

Just to note when posed with the question, “How would you feel if your husband was a crossdresser.” The reactions are almost all negative.

In conclusion, the responses from the women’s forum suggest that the majority of people are becoming more open-minded and tolerant of crossdressing and other forms of gender expression. While there is still work to be done to ensure the safety and well-being of transgender individuals, the overall trend is encouraging and points to a future where everyone can feel free to express their true selves without fear of judgment or discrimination.

Click here to view the question, answers and links to photos of me for respondents to use as a point of reference.

Wearing Cara Cara skirt, Alaia shoes, Khaite jacket and Yliana Yepez bag.

Kandi Robbins of Kandi’s Land fame