Stuff: What do we call ourselves?

By J. J. Atwell

English is a complex language and it can be confusing at times. In general, I prefer male pronouns (he, him, his) when in my guy mode of dress, which is pretty much always. When dressed though, I prefer female pronouns (she, her, hers) to reflect how I’m presenting in the world. I suspect that most Femulate readers do the same. It’s essentially the same thing as adopting a nom de femme when dressed. 

How do we refer to other CDs?

It is pretty much just being polite to refer to other CDs using female pronouns when they are presenting that way. When we go to group meetings we always use female names and pronouns when talking to the others in attendance. As long as they are dressed as a woman, then female pronouns are appropriate. 

Out with other CDs, but not dressed

We have developed friendships with other couples through our local CD group. We sometimes go out as “regular” couples and have a good time together. In those situations, the pronouns are always the regular male/female ones. An exception would be when talking in the third person about the femme side of one of the CDs. Perhaps, we want to say that a particular outfit would look good on the CDer, we would say that’s something that would look good on her.

More points of confusion

When exchanging text messages it’s sometimes confusing as to which pronouns to use. In general, I default to the male pronouns for the CDer when texting unless I’m specifically talking about girl stuff. 

It becomes even more confusing though when talking to my SO about something to do with our CD couple friends. Do I refer to them as guy name and SO’s name, such as Bob and Alice? Or as their CD name and SO’s name, such as Barbara and Alice? In my case, my SO quickly recognizes the male/female couple, but it takes her a moment to recognize them when I use the CD’s femme name. Perhaps that’s because I’ve known the CDs for a while, but she has only met them more recently. I’d be curious to hear what others do in this case.

I’ll be back

No matter what the pronoun, there will be more Stuff. As always, comments are welcome either here on the blog or by email to Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com. JJ is always looking for more stuff, so if there is something you would like to read about please let me know!

Wearing Theory

William Reynolds femulating in the 1951 film No Questions Asked.