Shopping: The Rest of the Story

On Monday, JJ discussed clothes shopping. She admits never shopping en femme, so I thought that I would discuss that shopping option today because there is nothing like it!

I have shopped en homme only when I had to… like during lunch hours from my boy mode job. I have even tried on womenswear while en homme. Sans shapewear (no, I don’t wear a girdle in boy mode), the fit is not exact, but at least it’s in the ballpark and I’ll know whether to return the item to the rack or take it home for my wardrobe.

I have never had a bad experience trying on womenswear en homme. At worst, the salesperson might be surprised, but I have never been shut out of the dressing room. And shopping for womenswear en homme, it has never been an issue, but I am getting off-topic.

Shopping en femme is so much better than shopping en homme or online. It is the most fun I have ever had without laughing! 

If an item doesn’t fit, you put it back on the rack and try on another size. If an item doesn’t look good on you, you put it back on the rack and try on something else. You don’t have to deal with the time and expense of returning an item.

Shopping en femme also is an affirmation of your femininity. Shopping among other women, you blend in and become another woman. Typically, the other women are concentrating on shopping and not on you. They may be aware of your physical presence, but will assume that you are just another girl hunting for a bargain.

While browsing through the racks, I always encounter other women doing the same. They may look up momentarily to see who the other bargain hunter is and when they don’t recognize me, they return to the hunt. Sometimes they may offer a friendly smile or a pleasant “hello,” too. Rarely am I the target of daggers aimed at a man in a dress.

Sometimes I may pass and sometimes I may not. How do I know for sure? But I try to dress properly when I shop – usually it’s “office girl” mode, although office girl mode isn’t what it used to be, so I’d say that it’s more like “legal secretary” mode. 

Although I have also shopped more casually (a top and some kind of bifurcated garment), I prefer legal secretary mode. My point is I don’t wear an evening gown, cocktail dress or hooker garb when I shop; such outfits would give me away.

And for what it‘s worth, I have long ago abandoned my attempt at a femme voice. My normal male voice usually works because I have a natural femme vocabulary and mannerisms.

If you use a credit card, get one that only uses the initial of your first name along with your complete last name in order to conceal your cisgender identity. I have been using my S. credit card like forever, but sometimes when checking out they will ask for a photo ID, your driver’s license for example, and that will blow your cover, but not necessarily. A few times after presenting my driver’s license, the salesperson asked, “Is this your husband’s driver’s license?”

The biggest advantage to shopping en femme is that you are wearing your shapewear when you try on clothing. Shapeworn, you will know exactly what fits without dragging (pun intended) your finds home and then bringing them back to the store for a return.

Don’t let dressing rooms deter you! But always ask a salesperson where the dressing room is located even if you already know where it is. That can save the day if someone complains about the man in the ladies’ dressing room… your alibi is the salesperson who directed you to the ladies’ dressing room.

The dressing room cubicles are usually cramped. There probably is a mirror or two to check yourself out, but it is not the best situation to see how you look. So after slipping on a new item, I usually exit the dressing room and check myself out in the full-length multi-angle mirrors that populate the store’s sales floor. Much better than the mirrors in the cramped cubicle and even better, other shoppers passing by may comment on how you look. (Yeah, guys would never do that, but ladies do and it’s happened to me on many occasions.)

Some stores will assign you to your own cubicle. “Big deal,” you say! Well while you are trying something on and it doesn’t fit, instead of removing the ill-fitting garment, putting your clothes back and exiting the cubicle to fetch a different size, just stick your head out the cubical and ask a salesperson to fetch a different size for you to try! It’s like heaven on earth – and I remember a guy friend asking me why would anyone want to be a woman! It’s so much nicer to be a woman!

The following shopping experience was typical. I spent about an hour in the Misses department of the local JCPenney perusing the racks and going back and forth to the dressing room to try on my finds. During that hour, I encountered a lot of customers doing the same and I noticed none of the other bargain hunters paying any attention to me.

However, I did not go unnoticed. A few people who were not busy shopping noticed me. A woman, who had finished shopping and waiting to pay for her finds, checked me out while she was in line at the cashier. I also noticed two saleswomen checking me out.

Perhaps they were just checking me out because they were impressed with the way I looked. Or maybe they suspected I was en femme and were trying to confirm their suspicions.

Whatever... although some salespeople noticed me, I have never had a salesperson give me a hard time. Their job is to make a sale, so if the customer looks like a duck, then treat the customer like a duck and everything will be ducky.

As I was looking through the racks, a middle-aged woman  approached me and asked, “Can I ask you a question?”

I had no idea what she was going to ask (“What time is it?” “Where did you buy your shoes?” “Are you a tranny?”). I girded my loins, smiled and agreed to answer her question.

“You're dressed fashionably, so I’d like your opinion about a pair of slacks I was thinking about buying.”

Wow! I certainly did not see that coming!

We discussed the merits of the slacks. I did not like what she had picked out and suggested something with a bolder pattern. She admitted that she really did not like what she had picked out and liked my suggestion better.

I pointed out a skirt with a pattern similar to what I had in mind. Her eyes lit up as she said, “I saw slacks with that pattern. Now I just have to find them again! Thank-you for your help.”

“Good luck,” I said.

I then took a deep breath, smiled and thought what a confidence-builder that was!

Wearing Allsaints

Bogdan Kibalyuk femulating in the Russian television series Policeman from YouTube (Politseyskiy s YouTyuba).