Crossdressing is more common than many people think. While exact numbers are hard to pin down due to the private nature of the practice, various studies and surveys suggest that a significant number of men engage in crossdressing at some point in their lives.
Here are a few points to consider:
Prevalence – Estimates vary, but some studies suggest that around 5% of men in Western countries have crossdressed at least once.
Cultural Acceptance – In some cultures and communities, crossdressing is more openly accepted and visible, which can influence how common it appears to be.
Online Communities – The rise of the Internet has allowed people who crossdress to connect with others more easily, creating supportive communities and making the practice more visible.
Media Representation – Increased representation in media and entertainment has also contributed to greater awareness and acceptance of crossdressing.
5% of the USA male population is 8.3 million. That’s equal to the population of New York City. So we have a lot of company. However, starting out, most of us thought we were the only person in the world who crossdressed, but as we explored our good fortune, we discovered that there are many others similarly blessed.
Back when I was slipping into my mother’s wardrobe, there were no “crossdressers;” there were only “transvestites.” I don’t recall how or when I learned that term (“There’s a ‘term’ for me!”), but when I learned it, I immediately began researching it and quickly concluded that I was not alone, but I had no idea how much company I had.
Joining a support group expanded my education. I was active in that group for about 15 years and I probably saw 200 different members come and go.
Amazingly, two sisters in my support group were members of the same local ham radio club that I belonged to! One, in particular, I spoke with via ham radio quite frequently – long before we knew we were sisters. That made me wonder how many other sisters did I already know only in boy mode!
After I started this blog and mentioned a few times that I was a ham radio operator, the closet doors were flung open and I lost count how many other crossdressing hams came out to me… well over 100 in all.
And then there’s the Internet. Crossdressers are well-represented to say the least! Young and old, not just old ladies like me.
I even discovered that two close relatives also crossdressed!
We will never know how many sisters we have, but you can be sure that we are not alone... far from it!
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| Wearing Venus |
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| Gale Gordon, Richard Crenna and Robert Rockwell femulating on a 1953 episode of television’s Our Miss Brooks. |
Hi Stana - interesting post today. Love the shout out to us other Ham Radio Operators JJ
ReplyDeleteThe younger generations are fortunate to have access to the internet and open discussions in society. As a teenager of the early 1960's the damage done is long lasting.
ReplyDeleteThe gender variant people before the internet and after the internet are like 2 different worlds. It is tough when you think "you are the only one."
ReplyDeleteStana, I certainly hope no one feels alone today. I can not imagine what it was like many years ago, when the only source of information may have been an old, even for that time, library book. Information abounds today, and I feel a fear of finding things out is one of the challenges today. I was in that boat for a long time.
ReplyDeleteI think the brief precursor to the internet was the talk shows of the 80's and 90's. I remember catching a few shows featuring a crossdresser and being fascinated by the stories. Some of the shows thrived on shock and entertainment value, but at least it let the world know that we were just trying to live our best lives, and were not deviant criminals.
I think what kept many of us hidden in years past and today, was not accepting who we are until much later in life. Not figuring out what is going on until after marriage, kids, starting a career, etc. definitely poses the challenge of being who you are, or upsetting the apple cart. It seems like today, more people are figuring things out earlier in life, and building a life around what they are.
I'm always curious, however, why the scales seem tilted toward M to F tendencies. Are females less affected by the need to present as male, or can they just do it more seamlessly? A female who forgoes makeup and jewelry, wears men's clothes, and lives a traditional male life seems to just be regarded as a tom boy, and no one bats an eye. If one of us wears a skirt and heels, it turns a lot of heads, in both good and bad ways, and involves a lot of thought and decision.
Norah
Hi Norah, a very wellwritten reply! You ask the million dollar question in your last paragraph: when will noone bat an eye at the make version of a tomboy? And if anyone has a term for that person, please let me know! Thanks
DeleteI wrote an article for Femulate about this subject. A few months back. Here’s a link to it, the bottom line is yeah there is a term it’s called Sissy.
DeleteAnd yes, it’s derogatory. Why because Western culture values the patriarchy femininity is seen as a detriment that’s why when women dress in men and pants suits or jeans or act tough or win the UFC boxing. It’s a positive thing however, if a man wants to be a bridesmaid people are horrified.
http://www.femulate.org/2023/09/tomboys-and-sissies.html
Paula G
Thank you Paula. I Just reread that article and another similar article posted around the same time. Hopefully the tide is changing on attitudes regarding CD and we'll come up with an acceptable term to replace "sissy" and its negative connotations.
DeleteYeah, growing up before internet times, being called or thought of as "sissy" was absolutely the worst thing for AMAB. It was emotionally very hurtful. And why many kept their feminine side locked away due to shame. It takes a long time to dig out of that.
DeleteThank you Elise, and thank you for sharing this link Paula. I think you nailed it, where the blurry grey line is somewhere near crossing from masculine to feminine. You see male rock stars who have long hair, wear make up, and tight leather pants, and they are hailed as the sexiest men alive, and regarded as confident and expressive. We could wear the same, and state our fem name, and all of a sudden people get freaked out.
DeleteI have run into similar experiences personally too. Most of the jeans I wear, even en home, are female. They are fairly neutral (no bling or pink stitching) but are definitely a female cut with slimmer legs and slightly flares cuff, and I actually get compliments from men and women. Some have even said I have a great vintage style. If I told them I got them in the women's section of Macy's, they would probably change their reaction.
Norah
I recently conducted a poll on Reddit under the 'Ask Reddit' category, asking about cross-dressing. With approximately 200 respondents, around 5% identified as cross-dressers. While I don't recall the exact figures, this aligns with findings from most anonymous surveys in Western countries. It's important to note that the percentage of self-identified transgender and cross-dressers is significantly higher among younger generations, likely due to increased social acceptance and awareness. ---Paula G
ReplyDeleteThings really do change in our little world. We've been re-re-re-re-re-renamed so many times it makes my head spin. Back when I first sought information in the late 1950, I had to go to The Library of Congress. Several of the books described our "tribe" Eonists, after Chevalier D'Eon. And now we don't have to go through that "I'm the only one....." business with the Internet. I love it.
DeleteI decided to reply about the shrinking need for conferences where we go to be dressed for some number of days among a hotel full of ladies like ourselves. I think there are a few reasons, but the face-to-face part is being taken care of by Meetup groups. We have two large groups in the DC area with good turnouts at their monthly meetings. Lots of the issues like being seen in public are dealt with, all the way to applying makeup. I think there are still great reasons for conferences, but there has to be a well-organized agenda with interesting things to do. "Back in the day", just getting dressed and schmoozing with "birds of a feather" was almost enough -- but Meetup and general acceptance have that part covered. I think the Keystone Conference does a great job, there are interesting presentations, experts to talk with and some great activities to participate in.
But enough rambling..... If you haven't already, find a Meetup group and go out to their gatherings. You'll find it takes the place of the conference socializing to some degree, and unlike conferences, it happens lot more often than once a year.
Yesterday’s crossdresser is today’s non-binary and transfemme. The younger generation isn’t hiding behind doors like we did (and seem to have little regard for us Palaeolithic part-timers).
ReplyDeleteAlso, ten years ago I regularly came across other dressers out in the wild — but now? Hardly ever do I see another.
Angela your observation seems to be accurate. It seems that the paradigm around gender is shifting. There doesn’t seem to be as much as a need for the gender conferences, such as Southern comfort or first event anymore, when you go to those conferences now they’re either populated by boomers or there seems to be a whole new young crowd that’s into more open gender expression
DeleteHi Angela - I too have noticed generational diversity, even in our world, in so many ways. Many of us here would not dream of going out without padding, heels, a dress or skirt, and makeup. The younger generation seems to freely go out without shapewear, perhaps no makeup, in simple yoga pants and a t-shirt. They don't seek out events or excuses to dress en femme as they just are who they are. Not a bad thing.
DeleteSome days I do feel like the corporate boomers though, who still wear suits and carry brief cases and scratch their heads at the new grads who wear jeans and sneakers with a blazer and carry hiking packs. : ) It is mostly a reminder that I just need to get out more myself though.
Norah
As a child of the 80s, I thought I was the only boy who was wearing pantyhose in the privacy of his bedroom and dreaming of wearing the clothes of his female classmates. Fast forward many years and I'm happy to discovered online communities like this one to let me know I'm not alone! Since I don't have anyone IRL to share these things with, it's comforting to have a forum to discuss our feminine thoughts (like how much I adore that Venus outfit) with likeminded people:)
ReplyDeleteSomething I never understood neither. My daughter borrow my flannel shirt over a tee with jeans. I can’t borrow her blouse. Even the color pink will turn heads? I have a pair of shoes I love ( men’s) a little snug. I told my wife I’ll put knee highs on. She said you can’t do that people will see. I care. Double standard been around for years. Things are changing depending on where you live and your age.
ReplyDeleteI live in the Dallas-Fort Worth, Texas area, hardly a liberal area. Here, as a man, I wear dresses all the time with painted nails and makeup, and on occasion, heels, to church, shopping, doctor appointments, etc. and I have NEVER been harrased. So I say, Glennda, feel free to borrow your daughter's blouse.
DeleteJohn
When I first got onto the Internet, at some point, I was on AOL. Early days...
ReplyDeleteIn AOL, there were chatrooms on topics, and there were chatrooms that were automatically created that you were dropped into. But, if you looked for it, there were chatrooms that you could create for your own topical discussions. There was a room called "Wearing Hers". That is where I first interacted with other crossdressers.
Later, I searched the web (using webcrawler.com and digital-altavista.com search engines) and saw NO content. Later, I saw the appearance of a company that sold VHS tapes of adult content. Their website's descriptions of the videos was G-rated. I discovered it because they had a tape about women who were wearing pantyhose and then "had fun". I was not interested in their content, but I was surprised to see that there was a market for hosiery-oriented content. Later, I searched again and found a guy named "steveinhk", if I recall correctly. He had a private web site where he talked about a few experiences where he wore ladies' shorts and a blouse with sheer, skin-toned pantyhose and ladies flats. He said he went out in public and no one seemed to notice or care. That was mind-blowing for me. "That's possible?!?" :) Yes, eventually, I followed the path that SteveInHK was on and started wearing women's clothing in public with similarly insignificant reactions.
In my real life, I have only become aware of two other people who might be like me. One was the little brother of my brother's girlfriend. I went to his house to play. At one point, he admitted that he went to the dresser in his sister's room where his clothes were and he accidentally put on a pair of her underwear instead of his. She saw him walking back to his room in them. I did not admit anything to him, but I doubted his story. Later, I was working with some teenagers on a scavenger hunt. One of the pictures we were supposed to take was "A boy in hose". One of the teens said, "I'll do it." His mother said, "---- will do it, he loves wearing pantyhose." He rebuked his mom for trying to embarrass him. I mentioned him in the hose to his sister, who did not know about the scavenger hunt details. She said, "They're probably mine. He's always getting into my stuff." I never revealed my crossdressing secret to him either.
I predict that less than 1% of the population are actual crossdressers/transgender people. It sure seems like there are more of us in the computer-related disciplines than in other disciplines. However, it might be that we are not more likely to be this way, but we are more likely to share that we are crossdressers. Things are hard to know!
Joey
Joey Thanks for taking time with such a detail well thought out response. It's sharing and interaction like this that builds use as a community, gives needed support to each other and of course is just plain fun to read--Paula G
DeleteIs there a crossdresser net on 80m? Or is there a club? I know the Rainbow Club apparently meets up at Hamvention. Does anyone have any further information. - . -. -.. .... .- - -
ReplyDeleteI think 5% is low and more like 10%. I've met many still closeted guys who love dressing as women. While GenZ is out allot more there's still those that keep it closeted for their own reasons. Millenials still keep it closeted to an extent. But just my views!
ReplyDelete