I don’t really know!
So why write about it? Because I’m genuinely curious. And I encourage you to think about it, too.
The few GGs (genetic girls) I’m out to find it “interesting.” What a great, non-definitive word. Kind of reminds me of that old curse “may you live in interesting times.”
Just because several GGs know and accept my girl side, I don’t assume that reflects on what all GGs think. In fact, my sample size is very small and it is definitely slanted towards GGs who would be favorable. After all, I wouldn’t have come out to them if I didn’t think they would be OK with it.
Are we different?
Well, yes we are different. And it’s not just the difference in our bodies. As guys we are raised differently and have different life experiences and women, of course have very different life experiences. How we live our lives is heavily influenced by societal norms.
As crossdressers we are in the awkward position of bridging the gap between the two worlds. Kind of like the boater with one foot on the dock and one in the boat. A challenge to hold it together without falling. We need to spend time observing and emulating the women around us. Behaving as a guy while presenting as female raises lots of questions.
You know the typical questions we get when we out ourselves to a woman. Are you gay? Aren’t you happy as a guy? Do you want to become a woman? Why do you do this? All perfectly reasonable questions from the women. How many of us have reasonable answers?
Have you adequately communicated that to the women in your life? I try to do that but I pretty much fail at the why question. All I know is that I enjoy it when I get dressed and present as female. I suppose enjoyment is a valid answer to that big question. At least I hope the women in my life agree.
Respect
In the end, I suspect the answer to the question, “what do GGs think of crossdressers is all over the place.” Some love us. Some detest us. Some (most?) just don’t think about us at all. It’s not as if most GGs encounter crossdressers at all. They’ve probably seen drag queens on TV or even in person, but the ordinary run-of-the-mill crossdresser? Not so much. So they really don’t understand us any more than we understand ourselves.
How do we handle this? Basically by being good human beings. By showing support for others.
By helping others we can help ourselves. And maybe others will be willing to help us. In a word – respect.
I’ll be back
I’ll be back with more Stuff in the next installment. Comments are welcome either here on the blog or by email to Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com. JJ is always looking for more stuff so let me know what you would like to read about.
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| Wearing Bebe |
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| A beautiful femulating sister out and about. Hey Girls! I love photos of out-and-about girls like us. If you have an out-and-about photo that you are willing to share here, email it to me and I will publish it in a future post. |
There’s probably as many GG opinions as there is CD reasons. If that makes any sense. I think I have some feminine traits most GG notice in boy mode. Usually they don’t say anything. To me there’s a closeness I feel. Maybe it’s just stuff!
ReplyDeleteHi JJ,
ReplyDeleteAn interesting topic. From my experience as a married, socialized, support group member, support group(Saint Louis Gender Foundation) leader, and of course crossdresser, all since 1990; my analysis is broken into two time spheres. Pre-2015 and Post-2015.
In a pre-2015 timeframe, crossdressers were still mostly a novelty to civilians (a cool Stana term). Women were generally predisposed to consider crossdressers (in no particular order) harmless, a compliment to them to striving toward womanhood, interesting (better at understanding females than their husbands), fashion challenged (or fashion savvy?). Unless of course the crossdresser happened to be their husband. Then all bets were off.
Now move to post-2015. Crossdressers have morphed into the "trans" movement. Women's views of benign and "novelty" crossdressers changed with the politicalization of the trans movement. This resulted in something women migrated mentally to be more wary of. They were not quite sure of the purity of the motives of men dressing as women. Some women weren't bothered, others were aware of a potential invasion of their space both physical and mental. An invasion of space that has become politicalized today, that never was in the past.
I have observed that older crossdressers and also medical transsexuals (for lack of a better term) of my generation (I am 71), that I personally know, are aghast and agape at the current group of trans radicals and their agenda. 'We have come so far so fast on goodwill and now it is being destroyed by the radical left', is a paraphrase of comments I hear from friends of mine.
Subjects for another discussion I suspect.
Thanks JJ
Angel Amore
I believe your assessment of pre-2015 and post 2015 is very accurate post 2015. We became in political agenda item prior to that we were a novelty and judged on the merits of our appearance and or actions today there’s a lot of misinformation out there about transgender persons, and what you say is correct about the movement taken over by radical persons essentially persons who want to do away with the binary and advocate no gatekeeping and if you disagree with them at all, you’re labeled as trans phobic, and a bad person Paula G
DeleteWhen I was a kid growing up back in the 70’s, people would question girls who were interested in “boy things”. I remember specifically when girls started playing in Little League baseball, everyone thought there must be something wrong with the girls who wanted to participate. They also thought there was something wrong with me since I didn’t want to participate.
ReplyDeleteJust as some girls like “boy things” and some don’t, there really is no reason I shouldn’t have an urge to present as feminine as frequently as I feel like it. Just because I don’t ovulate or menstruate is no reason to exclude me from such a wonderful form of self expression.
I have 3 close GG friends who frequently go out with Julie and they have been super supportive and accepting. One came up with this gem of wisdom.
ReplyDelete"Being a crossdresser is like being left handed. Some people are, most aren't, and no one really knows why. It's not right or wrong, it's just the way things are."
Nuff said.
Back in my cross dressing days, the female friends I was out to were all supportive, and were happy to be seen out with me, they were also of course curious ~ which is perfectly reasonable. It was these female friends who were most supportive and helpful as I started my transition, ~ a friend is a friend! As for those who are not friends, then their attitudes will probably depend more on their general prejudices and beliefs than on their genetics.
ReplyDeleteInteresting topic JJ, and one I do not have any real answers too either. I think much of the world notices us less than we think. If we are not on the screen of their phone, we, and most of the world are just background static to most people. I do think women accept us more than men, for many reasons, and this observation has been echoed by many here, over and over.
ReplyDeleteThat said, I do agree with Angel, that now that we have become a political issue, it has caused many to have strong feelings about us, when we are noticed, especially if there is a feeling of an invasion of space.
About ten years ago I was working for a larger company, and a neighboring department had a man who came out as a trans woman, and started presenting as female. Needless to say, she created quite a buzz in conversation circle around the buildings. Among my group of work mates, about half of the women were okay with it, the other half thought it was weird. With the men, most thought it was weird and avoided her if possible. The department that the trans women worked in, however, had locker rooms, as they had to change into uniforms, and she was given a locker in the women’s locker room. Things reversed in that department, and the majority of the women over there had a fit.
This sort of mirrors the way we have seen for a long while, that many women regarded us as an un-threatening curiosity, but when asked how they would react if their husband was a CD, most women suddenly became not so accepting if it was in their own backyard.
Norah
I don't believe too many women encounter cross dressers. As a crossdresser I rarely encounter a cross dresser in the wild. I suspect that's because we either hide in our homes or go to places where we are accepted or tolerated. I participate at another site where I also see your posts, so you know acceptance or non-acceptance varies greatly. My wife basically told me, "If I wanted to be married to a woman I would have married a woman!" From observing and listening it seems there is a lot of NIMBY. At work my supervisor told the other women that she dressed up her husband in one of her prom dresses for Halloween. The other women wanted to see pictures. I knew her husband and I could say he was not tall and could pass. My wife's cousin worked with a wife of a cross dressers and she could not divorce her husband fast enough. Fortunately, they did not have kids. I've overheard many times women huddled together trying to make an assessment of a guy on Halloween, whether he was a cross dresser. If you're going to out yourself you better try to test the waters as to where the woman stands of the LGBTQ+ community. I punched my man-ticket on all the societal expectations and norms and I fear I would still come up on the short end of the stick trying to gain acceptance; tolerance is not acceptance.
ReplyDeleteOn several occasions, when I was out dressed pretty (as a man in a dress/skirt), if I happened to mention my wife to a female store clerk, she often would respond, "Oh you're married?" as if they thought I was homosexual. I do not believe that I have ever had much of a conversation with a male store clerk.
ReplyDelete"why do we do this?" Interesting that society accepts all kinds of mental disorders but many think we just do this on a whim.Personally I accept the theory that there was a misfire and we ended up with a female brain to a greater or lesser extent.this explains a lot and we should actually take comfort if this is the case
ReplyDeleteJJ, I agree 100% about the respect.
ReplyDeleteAngel Amore, I agree 100% about the radical left destroying us. All my allies have told me the same thing.
One friend I just saw recently after some time said I always encouraged her to be a little more girly.
ReplyDeleteI too have often been curious about what GGs think of CDs. Do they think "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery" or CDs are"imposters" for not having experienced all of the challenges of growing up female, or do they think CDs are crazy (in a good way) for putting in the time and effort to perfect a feminine appearance when looking like a guy is so easy? As a few people have commented, I'm sure you'll get as many answers as people asked, but at the end of the day, it all comes down to this: how do the people in your life feel about your crossdressing?
ReplyDeleteMany women are obviously curious about crossdressers. I have heard comments such as "I had no idea he was a man as he looks better than me", "Oh wow she can really walk in those high heels" and even Janet had this to say "I find this so disgusting that they can never ever be a woman even if they want to be one so badly and I can only imagine what perversions they have and how we should be very careful". I didn't have the courage to let her know that her husband has a huge foot fetish and I am sure he views the feet of CDs. In both cases the men are engaged in fairly normal behavior and the CD is most likely not spending time on porn sites but fashion sites. I do find that when I am femulating I am more aroused mentally as I enjoy the feeling of nylons and the straps of a bra on my shoulders or the wisp of my hair against my back when walking. Nothing beats the sound of the click clack of high heels , the wind beneath our skirts and the joy of earings and a chunky necklace.
ReplyDeleteI wonder that you use the word genetic instead of cis, what are your opinions on modern LGB types who want the split between the LGB and T. Boyne's book I felt was in line with how we discusssed trans people on places like this in the late 2000s, but now with fussing over pronouns, it was out of date, and as a result Boyne became radicalised into the LGB anti-T crowd. spectator.co.uk/article/i-was-the-devil-incarnate-an-interview-with-john-boyne
ReplyDeleteCrossdressing does not bother my wife unless it's me doing it.
ReplyDeleteThat's seems to be the prevailing sentiment with wives.
Delete