How do you feel the day after?
One of my dear crossdresser friends, Kathryn, asked me that question. Picture this: you were all dressed and out with the girls, but are now back home and your glass carriage has turned back into a pumpkin. How are you feeling?
It’s a mixture – mostly up
For me, it’s mostly positive. I’m happy to have been out. Most of my thoughts are about how much fun I had. I’ll also be thinking about the next event and what to do to improve my femme presentation.
For example, this past weekend (well it would be a month ago by the time you read this) I was out with a group of friends. There were ten of us and we dined at a new (to us) restaurant and saw a play. The entire evening was just wonderful. We were accepted at face value and referred to with the female pronouns by the restaurant staff and the ushers at the playhouse. I didn’t notice anyone looking askance at us the whole evening. A wonderful evening.
The next few days were filled with thoughts how nice it was at this restaurant or that play. I mentally relive the highlights of the outing. I can almost still feel the gentle hug of the bra. Pushing back my hair. The flash of color on my nails. Noticing the shoulder harness of the seatbelt between the boobs. All those unique sensations.
It’s a mixture – a little down
I’m not one to get depressed, but there is the realization that it’s over. Then I check the calendar to see when our next outing is scheduled. With that in mind my thoughts turn to what I’m going to wear then. Do I have everything I need? Do I need to shop for something in particular?
Because of schedule conflicts, I know I’m going to miss the next group outing so I’m focusing on our October meeting which has a Halloween theme. Deciding on an outfit for that night puts me in a whole different mindset. Time to get creative!.
So basically, I use the looking-ahead method of dealing with the sense of loss that the end of the night brings. I know others in our group have similar up/down feelings after a night out. I’d love to hear from some of you.
I’ll be back
Up or down, I’ll be back with more Stuff in the next installment. Comments are welcome either here on the blog or by email to Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com. JJ is always looking for more stuff so let me know what you would like to read about.
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| Wearing Bebe |
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| Bernard Zette femulating in the 1998 film Last Exit to Brooklyn. |
For me, there was always a sense of peace and anticipation during my business trips. Knowing I'd be presenting as a woman for several weeks, I'd start planning. New shoes, pantyhose, a lunch date, or a museum visit—the excitement grew. Dressing in a hotel room felt like a fairytale, a wonderful opportunity to express my true self.
ReplyDeleteWhile I was relieved to shed the heels and girdle when the trip ended, I often looked forward to the next one. I'd save memories and write about the experience for this blog. The anticipation of the next assignment would begin anew, and the cycle would repeat Paula G
JJ here - Great perspective Paula. Like you I look ahead to the next outing.
DeleteEnjoy your stuff! Look forward to more stuff.
ReplyDeleteJJ here - thanks so much for the encouragement Glennda!
DeleteAfterwards? I feel horrible, realising it’s just an illusion and I will never be the person I want/wanted to be, age is catching up, sigh. :(
ReplyDeleteJJ here - thanks for taking the time to comment. I understand that it is not unusual for some of us to be sad once the occasion is over. That's perfectly OK. I hope that you have occasions to look forward to as well though.
DeleteFor those of us who do not have the opportunity to mingle with the masses with a group we experience the same feelings. Road trips were few and far between before I retired, so my extended periods of time were when my wife visited our daughter in Chicago. I had seven to ten days to hang my dresses and full slips in the walk-in closet, line up my heels at the foot of the bed and exchange my boy undergarment in the armoire for bras and panties. I was sure my wife would do it again the next year. Between those trips it was a day to myself. Then, ugh, my wife decided to retire. Then Covid hit. Just recently she stayed over night to kid-sit our grandson which gave me an extended opportunity to be myself. Having been disappointed so many times I never build up any anticipation.
ReplyDeleteIt is very interesting indeed that we all feel similar things, weather our femulations are purely domestic or we are out and about. Opportunities are opportunities, no matter what form they are that we seek.
ReplyDeleteI rarely feel a "down" afterward, but if I go too long at times before I can femulate again I definitely start to feel a "feminine itch". Sort of like a craving that won't go away.
Norah
This is very interesting, and I feel in some ways shows the difference between cross dressers and those of us who transition, While I remember the elation of being out and of experiencing the World as a woman, and indeed having the World experience me as a woman my feelings when I had to go back to DRAB were very different. I was always sad afterwards, I used to talk about "putting Paula back in her box" but the overwhelming emotion was one of bereavement. Not so much looking forward to the next opportunity to dress up and go out as much as mourning that these were only ever snatched moments.
ReplyDelete