When I was around ten I was at an all boys school and I was one of the students chosen to play a girl's part in a school play. To say that I didn't want to be a girl in the show would be a gross understatement. Most of the boys at school were not kind to those of us who'd been given girl's roles.
Our show was performed twice, once in the morning and once in the afternoon. I was playing a girl my age and was appropriately dressed up as a ten year old girl in the early sixties. The "girls" in the show stayed dressed as girls the entire school day.
Just before the second show a teacher cornered me and he reached under my dress and briefly grabbed me. The crinkling sound of my petticoat still haunts me. In the moment I had no idea why he did that.
When I got older and realized he abused me I was haunted by the memory and wondered if that meant that I was gay. I am not.
However, a haunting desire to dress up like a girl grew inside me and at some point in my teen years I began trying on my sister's dresses in secret. I was deeply attracted to girls and dated whenever I could. Eventually, I was married and have been for over forty years.
However, I love being dressed as a woman. It's my secret. My wife is aware of this, but choses not to be part of it.
I hate what happened to me at that school. If I ever saw that teacher again which isn't possible because I know that he passed away many years ago, I'd like to think that I'd take a bat and hit him with it. Though, I doubt I could or would.
University of Maine, 1907 those Maine winters are very long and cold I see two in the cast that I would say, not civilians, as for “Paul why dress hanging in your closet“ that has happened to me just another step forward and evolution of Paula, and a lot of eye rolling and headshaking from my wife Paula G
At both primary and secondary level, I went to boys' schools. Every year the schools put on plays and though I would have loved to have had even the most minor female part, I was scared of how everybody would react. Also, I would have wanted to have the appropriate underwear and I'm not sure whether this would have been accepted.
I do know that the boy who played Hedda in the Ibsen play, a big and dramatic role for a 15 year old boy or girl, wore a corset and complained bitterly, but looked great. Probably never wore anything feminine again.
"Stanley, why is there a dress in your closet?" When my wife was alive, I had FAR more dresses in my closet than she had in hers. She had maybe 3 dresses and I had over 10. Now that she passed away, I donated her clothes as they were not my size or style, and I have been adding dresses for me in her former closet.
If I am going to make the plunge and dress en femme for the day, it is always going to be a dress, hosiery and heels, and all the proper undergarments. No pseudo pants for me. My wife has not worn a dress in years, even at funerals, with the exception of loose fitting sun dresses during a summer hear wave. Me? I have a word document with the 162 dresses listed by size, maker and description. I realize I need to donate.
When I was around ten I was at an all boys school and I was one of the students chosen to play a girl's part in a school play. To say that I didn't want to be a girl in the show would be a gross understatement. Most of the boys at school were not kind to those of us who'd been given girl's roles.
ReplyDeleteOur show was performed twice, once in the morning and once in the afternoon. I was playing a girl my age and was appropriately dressed up as a ten year old girl in the early sixties. The "girls" in the show stayed dressed as girls the entire school day.
Just before the second show a teacher cornered me and he reached under my dress and briefly grabbed me. The crinkling sound of my petticoat still haunts me. In the moment I had no idea why he did that.
When I got older and realized he abused me I was haunted by the memory and wondered if that meant that I was gay. I am not.
However, a haunting desire to dress up like a girl grew inside me and at some point in my teen years I began trying on my sister's dresses in secret. I was deeply attracted to girls and dated whenever I could. Eventually, I was married and have been for over forty years.
However, I love being dressed as a woman. It's my secret. My wife is aware of this, but choses not to be part of it.
I hate what happened to me at that school. If I ever saw that teacher again which isn't possible because I know that he passed away many years ago, I'd like to think that I'd take a bat and hit him with it. Though, I doubt I could or would.
University of Maine, 1907 those Maine winters are very long and cold I see two in the cast that I would say, not civilians, as for “Paul why dress hanging in your closet“ that has happened to me just another step forward and evolution of Paula, and a lot of eye rolling and headshaking from my wife Paula G
ReplyDeleteAt both primary and secondary level, I went to boys' schools. Every year the schools put on plays and though I would have loved to have had even the most minor female part, I was scared of how everybody would react. Also, I would have wanted to have the appropriate underwear and I'm not sure whether this would have been accepted.
ReplyDeleteI do know that the boy who played Hedda in the Ibsen play, a big and dramatic role for a 15 year old boy or girl, wore a corset and complained bitterly, but looked great. Probably never wore anything feminine again.
Lily
If my wife and I were going to converge in appearance, I would so much prefer that it was fab instead of drab!
ReplyDelete"Stanley, why is there a dress in your closet?"
ReplyDeleteWhen my wife was alive, I had FAR more dresses in my closet than she had in hers. She had maybe 3 dresses and I had over 10.
Now that she passed away, I donated her clothes as they were not my size or style, and I have been adding dresses for me in her former closet.
John
If I am going to make the plunge and dress en femme for the day, it is always going to be a dress, hosiery and heels, and all the proper undergarments. No pseudo pants for me. My wife has not worn a dress in years, even at funerals, with the exception of loose fitting sun dresses during a summer hear wave. Me? I have a word document with the 162 dresses listed by size, maker and description. I realize I need to donate.
ReplyDelete