Being feminine came naturally to me. I did not intentionally choose to be feminine; I just acted naturally, but society categorized my natural act as feminine.
I did not have an inkling that I was feminine until an older boy told me I needed to stop acting like a girl and to man up for my own good. I rejected the boy’s assessment and continued to act naturally and as a result, suffered the slings and arrows of my peers, who called me such names as sissy, twinkie, fairy, faggot, homo, etc.
And worse, I was so blind to my own femininity that when I saw it in other guys, I assumed that they were gay because that was the stereotype for gay males that I had learned.
As I grew older and wiser, I realized I was feminine and really a girl at heart. I also learned that my stereotype for gay males was wrong. Gay males can be (or appear to be) as masculine as heterosexual males. I also learned that heterosexual males can be feminine... just like me.
And I came to the realization that the feminine male friends and acquaintances that over the years I branded as gay were not necessarily gay, but may have been transgender... just like me.
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| Wearing Boston Proper |
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Sid Caesar femulating in the 1966 television movie The Mouse That Roared, which you can view on YouTube. Thank you, Zoe, for unearthing this femulation. |
Like you, I was drawn to feminine behaviors as a child. Playing with dolls, using my mom's makeup, and expressing myself in feminine ways felt natural. But unlike you, I wasn't brave enough to be myself and learn to navigate the world in that way.
ReplyDeleteLater, when I began presenting as a woman publicly, my mannerisms, feelings, and speech patterns all flowed naturally. It seems femininity can be a complex topic, sparking debate among women, men, the gay community, and even the transgender community.
I recently read some interesting responses on Reddit where they asked a general group of women about femininity. If you're interested, Paula G
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomenNoCensor/s/X7eOXZw3Cs
Nice to see some narrative again. Getting tired of just AI illustrations' all the time.
ReplyDeleteIt has always bothered (and no doubt always will) that acting a certain way, liking certain things, wearing certain things, etc gets a gender label attached to it. Why must I be "feminine" (and looked down upon) if I am sensitive or soft, or like Broadway musicals, or prefer colorful clothes? Why can't that just be what makes me "me", without any need to question if I'm feminine or masculine? Perhaps we as a culture are heading there, ever so slowly?
ReplyDeleteI think I was only slightly feminine as a child, but was often hit with the same slurs as I was thin, non-muscular, and uninterested in playing sports. As a teen, I longingly looked at women's foundation garments in the Sears catalog, and sometimes tried on sister's or mother's "unmentionables". Now in my 70s, I still enjoy my stash of them!
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