Passing Times

“I’m a guy.”

Many girls who have been around the block a few times opine that passing is not important; that it isn’t the be-all and end-all of crossdressing. 

I agree, but it is icing on the when you do pass.

My attitude is that I pass whenever I crossdress until something indicates that I am not passing. Of course, I don’t pass all of the time; I know that, but the attitude that I pass helps to build my confidence when I am out. If I went out among civilians thinking that I was not passing, that would surely affect my confidence in a negative way. And make crossdressing an unpleasant experience.

Passing is a crapshoot, however, there have been times that I know absolutely that I passed. Here are a few of those times.

At Nordstrom

While I was perusing a rack of cocktail dresses at Nordstrom, a saleswoman nearby spoke up, “You're tall. I’m tall, too. How tall are you?”

I said, “Six foot two.”

She replied, “I'm six foot one.”

And she engaged me in a discussion about being a tall female. She asked me how I liked being tall (“I love it.”). She admitted that she had some difficulties during her school years because of her height, but as an adult, she was happy with her height.

After we exchanged a few more words, I excused myself and headed out the door to greener pastures.

That turned the old saw on its head that being tall will giveaway a crossdresser’s birth gender.

At Fantasia Fair

Over dinner at Fantasia Fair, I was chatting with two new friends, Cosette and Dianne, and we were discussing passing techniques. 

During our discussion, I mentioned how I always thought my voice was my weakness. They replied by saying my voice was perfect. And then they added that when they first saw me that they thought I was a genetic female!

Passing among civilians is one thing, but passing among sister crossdressers is something else.

At Lunch on Halloween 2022

I decided to go to Viron Rondo Osteria, an Italian restaurant in Cheshire. I’ve dined there a number of times in the past en femme, so I felt comfortable dining there again.

My waitress was pleasant, took my order and in short order, I was drinking a beverage and dining on a delicious pasta dinner. Time flew by quickly and before I knew it, the waitress was packing up my leftovers and presenting me with the bill. 

I had overheard her complimenting a couple at another table about their Halloween costumes, so when she returned to collect my payment, I asked, “How do you like my Halloween costume?”

She looked at me with a blank expression and asked, “What is it?”

“I’m a guy.”

She was shocked. She had no idea and began gushing over my “costume,” loved my hairdo (wig) and thought that my nails were “cute.”

I was younger and probably more passable during my first two passing stories. I was 71-years-old in the last passing story, which made me feel great that this old girl still has it!

Wearing Boston Proper

Femulating in Space's music video for “Begin Again.”
Click here to view this music video on YouTube.
Again, thanks to Rachel Williams for the information about this femulation.

This is no joke!

Is it safe?

I have been going out en femme for 55 years and I have always felt very safe doing so. In all that time, I only had one encounter in which I did not feel safe. 

After a support group meeting, a bunch of girls decided to go to a gay bar. I went along and did not enjoy the experience. It was dark and smoky (this was before all the smoking bans) and the gay clientele were not very sociable. The only thing going for it was its drag show, which indirectly turned out to be the source of my discomfort.

I was not having a good time and after one drink, I left the bar to walk to my car which was parked a long, dark block away. As I exited the bar, a patron followed me. He had the impression that I was in the drag show and tried to engage me in conversation (and maybe more).

I ignored him and walked as fast as my stilettos would carry me. Half way to my car, my “admirer” abandoned pursuit and I made it to my car unharmed, but scared shitless!

In retrospect, I should have asked the bouncer to accompany me to my car, but who knew!

Except for that occurrence over 30 years ago, no one has bothered me. Sure I have gotten my share of strange or amused looks over the years, but nothing that shook my confidence and ruined my day.

However, these days, I feel less safe than in the past. There is an element of the civilian population that hate us and following the lead of certain politicians and religious zealots, they have no fear about calling us out and worse. 

As a result, I am more circumspective about where I go en femme. I am very aware of my surroundings and avoid places where I might find trouble. Luckily, my home state, Connecticut, is more open-minded than the average united state and so it goes.

Be safe out there!

Wearing Ann Taylor

Stuart Kelsall femulating in an episode of British television's Ideal.
Click here to view this femulation on YouTube.
Thank you Rachel Williams for reminding me about this femulation.