How should a crossdresser react when harassed for crossdressing?
Experiencing harassment can be distressing, especially when it’s related to crossdressing. Here are some suggestions for how a crossdresser might react:
Stay Calm and Composed:
Take a deep breath and try to remain calm. Responding with anger or aggression may escalate the situation.
Assess the Situation:
Consider the severity of the harassment. Is it verbal, physical, or online? Assess whether it’s safe to engage further.
Choose Your Response:
Ignore It: Sometimes, ignoring the harasser is the best option. They may lose interest if they don’t get a reaction.
Assertive Response: Politely assert your boundaries. For example, say, “I appreciate your opinion, but I’m comfortable with my choices.”
Seek Help: If the harassment continues, seek help from friends, family or authorities.
Educate and Advocate:
Use the opportunity to educate others. Explain that crossdressing is a personal choice and doesn’t harm anyone.
Advocate for acceptance and understanding. Share your experiences and encourage empathy.
Self-Care:
Harassment can take an emotional toll. Practice self-care by talking to supportive friends, seeking therapy, or engaging in activities you enjoy.
Remember, you deserve respect and kindness regardless of your clothing choices. If you ever feel unsafe, prioritize your well-being and seek professional assistance.
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| Femulating in Italy, Stefano/Stefania Ferri Click here to read an interview with Stefano/Stefania |
When I was a seven year old child and forced to dress up as a girl to be in a summer day camp show, I reacted angrily, I lied claiming I hadn't played a girl's part, and I cried.
ReplyDeleteNone of those tactics helped the situation. However, as I became interested in crossdressing, it filled me with life long shame for having those feelings of craving to wear girl's clothes.
That's why I'm so private about it.
The biggest hurdle I faced in stepping out as a woman was the paralyzing fear. Visions of harassment, even worse, getting stopped by police, haunted me. My first attempts were baby steps – a nervous walk from the hotel room to the car, back and forth, a safe bubble. Then, a bolder exploration – a circuit around the familiar Marriott Courtyard. With each victory, my boundaries expanded – a fast-food drive-thru, a peek into the mall entrance, then back to the haven of my room. Finally, a full mall exploration, conquering the entire length from one end to the other.
ReplyDeleteThis gradual process was a journey of self-discovery. Each successful outing chipped away at the fear, replaced by a blossoming sense of self-acceptance. I was transgender, and that was okay. The world wouldn't crumble if I stepped out as myself. Confidence bloomed. I wasn't impersonating a woman; I was a woman, embracing my true identity. The fear began to feel like a paper tiger, a figment of my anxious mind.
The most surprising part? Despite venturing across the US, the UK, Canada, and even Australia, I never faced the harassment I dreaded. Not once. No cruel names, no threats, just...nothing. The most I encountered were instances of what felt like excessive politeness, a strange shift from the fear I'd conjured in my head. Presently I venture out in Boston to my therapist and shopping. However I wonder now that transgender persons have become a political topic, do you notice any problems or harassment? In the past most people assumed I was a tall or odd woman, but today I feel are quicker to see me as transgender. Paula G
Talking to other trans sisters revealed a similar pattern. Their initial anxieties, much like mine, had proven unfounded. The world, for the most part, seemed to accept our authentic selves.
I am primarily an in-home crossdresser as that is my comfort zone. On occasion I do go out in the evening for a stroll in a safe residential neighbor with the intent of not interacting with humanoids. Several decades ago I on several Halloweens I did intend to interact with people. I got dolled up in a knee length black dress, hosiery and heels with a blond wig and full makeup, including nails. I went to a Safeway and bought a bottle of soda. The female cashier who was young seemed to not know what to say, totally silent. However, a guy in line in front of me who was buying beer and seemed to have had too much to drink already burst out laughing and pointing. I said nothing. Te next Halloween it was a just below the knee long sleeve black and jade green floral print dress with black hosiery and heels and a shoulder length brunette wig. I went to a doughnut shop and got a compliment from the female counter clerk. Once I was observed in my backyard by a family of nosy neighbors who I overheard asking among themselves, "Why would a man wear women's clothing?" I did not get any comments aimed towards me. Nothing came of it, if they blabbed to other neighbors.
ReplyDeleteI haven't been out for a long time - it simply became too much work. However, when much younger I DID go to bars. I don't recall ever being harassed for CROSSDRESSING. However, I DO recall being harassed for being a cute young lady. I never was the type for patting strangers on the bum - but, had I been, my experience while dressed would have taught me to stop!
ReplyDeleteI have never been harrased for dressing en femme. My immediate response would be to ignore the trogledyte who is harrasing me. However, if it continued, I would dress down the idiot with a very loud male sergeant voice that could be heard for several blocks. Incidentally, I always speak with my masculine bass voice.
ReplyDeleteJohn
I agree with Paula G BUT if you read TG forum a week doesn't go by without one of us killed. So yes we are A-OK 99%+ of the time but in metro areas it isn't always safe for women after dark TG issues aside.Carry some protection that you are comfortable with.
ReplyDeleteI once was told by a group of teenage boys to put on a pair pants. I complied and went home and put on a pair of stirrup pants. It was the 90's after all.
ReplyDelete